A/N: This began as a Zutara chapter for my 'Zuko is the Fandom Bicycle' series. I planned to make it all serious and realistic but I just couldn't do it. And Private Fire thought the world might be ending what with me attempting a Zutara story. It morphed and became Maiko, serious Maiko. My Zutara chapter will have to be silly…I can live with that better. So, I ended up with another one shot and figured I would share.
Love and Friendship
He wasn't certain when everything changed. It could have when she first smiled at him, acknowledging him as a worthwhile human being rather than 'the enemy'. It could have been when they returned from their 'field trip' as Toph called it, and she forgave him. It might have been when she healed him after the Agni Kai with Azula. Whatever the moment, just one or some magic combination, Zuko found himself thinking of Katara as more than just a member of the gang. She was special and he needed her.
The man did not hold dominion over his thoughts and feelings. They ruled him. Often they came unbidden, following some random stimulus. He tried to bury them, he really tried; but they only resurfaced and stronger than ever.
"Miss me?" Mai smirked as she carried in a tray with tea and lunch.
Startled, Zuko tore his gaze away from the window. The warm sun and the steady hum of insects had lulled him into a reverie. He allowed himself a moment, letting his eyes regain their focus, before looking at Mai.
"Sure," he declared, though his tone was less than convincing.
Something passed over Mai's fine features, something dark and angry. But it sped away swiftly, before Zuko noticed. Mai schooled those features and she was utterly composed once more.
"A little less enthusiasm and I'll begin to think you don't want me around at all." Fingers, pale and slender, little white scars marring their delicate perfection, placed the tray down on the Fire Lord's desk. "Should I stay?"
"Of course, Mai; I, I'm sorry. I guess I was preoccupied or something." He flashed what he hoped was a loving smile and poured the tea. When he handed her the red cup, Zuko deliberately allowed his fingers to touch hers. "Everything looks great."
"It's not like I made it or anything."
"No, I know, but thanks for bringing it. If it weren't for you, I would never eat."
Mai brushed the gratitude aside. She wanted more than that, deserved more. "How is the work coming? You have a council meeting at three, remember." She took a sip of her tea and silently thanked Iroh for his incredible blends. No matter the circumstances, his tea made her feel better.
The Fire Lord stared helplessly at his desk and the mound of papers that dominated it. "I get overwhelmed sometimes. And then I stare out the window and I lose myself."
"I can help, Zuko. Let me do something."
Mai couldn't help but feel sometimes that Zuko was slipping away. Things were fine when the war ended, not perfect, but good. They communicated, Zuko in his stumbling way, she with her sarcasm and astute observations. They spent time together. They made love and that was good too, better than good. But now, without fighting or conflict, without any reason that Mai could see, she felt a distance and it was expanding as time passed. Her heart ached, a real physical pain, and she had already begun to mourn.
"Yeah, sure, um, you can read this pile if you like." Zuko shoved a bundle her way before grabbing a sandwich and nibbling away.
Mai's appetite vanished. She read through tedious letter after tedious letter, storing the pertinent facts in her brain, setting them aside when she was done. Zuko read too, stopping once to pour them both more tea. It had gotten cold and he warmed her brew, giving her a sheepish glance.
A servant interrupted their lunch and Mai felt almost relieved.
"A letter just arrived, from the Avatar." With a bow the man left.
Zuko tore open the scroll. "Aang and Katara are on their way." A slight flush coloured his cheeks and something alit in his eyes. "I'll make the arrangements. I want everything for them to be comfortable and perfect."
"They're used to sleeping on a flying bison, Zuko. I wouldn't worry."
No, you needn't, but I should.
~~~~0000~~~~
Zuko rocked back and forth on his feet as Appa came into sight. Mai stood stiff and rigid beside him. Her mouth was a straight line and her hands were joined together, fingers clutching fingers.
Aang, his usual cheerful self, flung his arms about Zuko as soon as he alighted from his animal companion. Zuko hugged back but with more restraint. The Avatar didn't embrace Mai. Her posture alone said 'back off'. Besides, she wasn't much for hugging anyone besides her lover.
Narrow gold eyes observed the Fire Lord. Mai was good at watching. She'd done it for as far back as she could remember; watch and listen and learn until she knew more about people than they knew themselves. But this time it meant something. This time, Mai had something to lose.
Katara, dressed in a blue sleeveless tunic and leggings, slid off Appa and approached the couple with a warm smile. "It's so good to see you both." Her eyes lingered on Zuko for longer than was necessary.
"Yeah, it's great to see you, real great," Aang enthused. Momo scampered along the boy's body, coming to rest on his head. Aang giggled and slipped the creature a piece of fruit that he grabbed from his satchel. "You're so silly, Momo."
Katara looked mildly embarrassed by her boyfriend's childishness. She shifted on the courtyard stones and turned her attention back to Zuko.
"I've got a few ideas I'd like to discuss with you. Would that be all right?"
"Of course, Katara." He found himself looking forward to her fresh perspective. "Your rooms are ready, you know, if you need to freshen up or rest."
Aang grinned. "I'm not tired at all. Are you, Katara?" He reached for her hand but she moved it aside without even realizing it.
A look of hurt skittered across large grey eyes and Mai felt a pang of sympathy. It wasn't just her. Aang felt a divide too. Somehow, everything had shifted a bit. She needed to shift it back.
"I'm fine, Aang, though I'd like a chance to clean up."
"I'll show you the way." Mai took charge, leading the younger woman out of the courtyard and into the depths of the red palace. "We'll meet you in the garden for iced tea. Zuko, show Aang the new garden. He'll enjoy that." She tossed the words over her shoulder, trying for carefree. But they came out strained instead.
"Is everything okay, Mai?" Katara placed a hand on her friend's arm. "You seem kind of, well, upset."
Mai did not want to confess her feelings to the waterbender. She would not reveal her insecurities. Instead, she turned the tables on Katara.
"You're irritated with Aang. That's obvious to anyone with a brain."
The blue-eyed woman stared down at the gleaming floor. "I, well, he can be such a little kid sometimes."
"And Zuko's not."
Katara flushed. "No, he's not. I can talk about some things with him that I can't with Aang."
"You hardly ever see Zuko. When does all this talking take place?"
"I write sometimes if I…." She shrugged, not certain how to continue. "I love Zuko, Mai. But I'm not in love with him. We need different people in our lives to fill different needs. Zuko fills one for me. Can you understand that?"
"Zuko's been distant lately, off in his own world. And that world doesn't seem to include me." It took a lot for Mai to speak those words. They were like thorns and they hurt and she had to force them out.
"You're a part of all this." Katara waved her hands about dramatically. "Sometimes he needs a different perspective, someone outside, someone who wasn't born and raised here."
"Why is it you know this and I don't? Why is he talking to you and not to me?" Mai felt rage, cold and crisp as an autumn breeze, claim her.
"I don't know, Mai. Look, I'm sorry that you're upset. But I'm not going to end my friendship with Zuko to make you feel more secure. Talk to him, really talk."
Mai wanted to slap the waterbender. She felt her arm begin to rise and it was only with great effort that she pushed it down again.
"That's great advice. How did you get to be so smart?" She turned around. "You can find your way. If not, ask a servant. I'm going to find Zuko."
~~~~0000~~~~
She slapped Zuko, hard, across the face. Aang stared aghast before Mai's glare sent him off at a trot.
"Katara wants you," she called after the Avatar. Her voice was ice and Aang ran faster. Facing Zuko again, she asked, "Are you awake yet? Do you need another one?"
"What did I do?" But he knew why Mai was angry. He flushed with guilt and remorse. "I know," he admitted softly. "I've been an ass and a jerk and I've been keeping you away."
"You and Katara are quite the intuitive pair." She sneered. "You make great partners. But I'm your partner, Zuko. Me! I don't care that you're friends. I don't care that you like her. I don't care that you talk with her. But I do care that you've pushed me aside. And I won't stand for it."
The look of betrayal on her face, the pain and the anger, brought Zuko to his knees. He reached out, desperate to touch her, hold her, have her again. He could be so stupid and so oblivious. It was a wonder that Mai had stuck with him this long. He didn't deserve her.
"No, you don't deserve me."
"How?"
"I'm intuitive too."
"I, I'm sorry, Mai." With aching tenderness, he touched a tendril of black and wound it about his finger. "She, Katara, well, she's outside of the palace and the politics. She's not been tainted by this. Sometimes it helps to talk with her. I look forward to it. I need her."
Mai hated the pout in her voice. "More than you need me?"
"No, Agni, no, never, Mai; I love you. I adore you. I want to be with you."
"Show me!"
He leaned close and brushed warm lips against hers before taking her hand and holding it gently, stroking the soft palm, making little circles with his thumb. Mai closed her eyes, savoring the contact. She rested her forehead against his, breathing slow and soft, willing herself to believe that everything was all right.
"It is all right. We're all right. Aren't we?" Zuko smiled shyly. "I'm being intuitive."
"Yeah, just don't keep me out anymore. I've been outside all my life. But not here and not now; with you, I want to be involved. I need to be."
"Okay, okay; I'll be better, I'll do better. I promise. But if I need…"
"Yeah, I get it." She pressed a finger over his lips. She didn't want to hear anymore about Katara from him. "I'll go get things organized for dinner. And I'll send her out so you two can discuss her ideas."
"Thanks, Mai."
"Aang and I might have a few of our own to talk about." Her expression held a hint of mischief.
Mai met Zuko's eyes. She showed him her relief and her joy all with one little glance. And when she walked past the fountain and the apple tree, the place where everything important in her life had begun, she smiled.