The day so far had been peaceful with the gentle light of the sun in the late leaf-fall and the occasional cool breezes that ruffled the cats' pelt as they padded out from the barrier of thorn that sheltered the ThunderClan's camp.
This was going to be Leafpool's one-moon-expedition without any of her Clanmates tagging along but her plan was slightly altered when Squirrelflight, her ginger fur sister volunteered to join her. As the ever worrying father, Firestar had seen no reason to stop his fiery daughter and for that, Leafpool was thankful. What she would be going through would be much bearable if her littermate was by her side.
But, with Squirrelflight tagging along, her mate, Brambleclaw had stubbornly insisted that he should come too. Once again, Firestar had seen no reason to stop his deputy as the worry for his daughters weighed heavily in his mind. Thus, Leafpool's plan to sneak out and have her kits quietly was trampled to dust.
She could only pray to StarClan that Brambleclaw would agree to keep silent about it.
"What is this herb that you are so determined to find?" Brambleclaw meowed from the back as they padded through the forest quickly; the deputy and his mate had to trot to keep up with their medicine cat.
Squirrelflight flicked her tail tensely, eyes darting around worriedly while Leafpool cursed softly under her breath, trying to comfort herself that everything would be fine in the end as she picked up the pace, not ready to answer Brambleclaw's question.
"Leafpool, wait! Don't walk so fast!" Squirrelflight called after her as the other two raced after the light brown tabby who ignored her sister's warning.
Leafpool wanted nothing more than getting away from her Clan. Something, maybe her instincts, told her it was not safe to remain close to ThunderClan, or rather, any Clan with the kits she was ready to bear.
Her paws ached by the time Leafpool reached the lake. Her Clanmates were by her side a few moments later with Squirrelflight supporting her with her shoulder. Breathing in her sister's scent, Leafpool could not help but tremble when she smelled the lingering fear scent on her littermate's ginger pelt.
Apparently, Brambleclaw smelled the same thing because he quickly tangled his tail with hers, muscles tensing as he studied their surroundings. "Are you feeling okay, Squirrelflight?" He asked sharply, worry laced in every word.
Calming her nerves, Leafpool gently soothed her littermate with small licks, purring soothingly. "It will be okay…" She murmured, not only to Squirrelflight but to herself as well. She didn't know how things would turn out but she was ready to rise and face the challenges if Squirrelflight didn't want to take her kits.
"We need to talk. Brambleclaw needs to be aware of this as well." Squirrelflight meowed softly but her voice was determined and her green eyes shone with the stubbornness and the quiet determination of their mother, Sandstorm.
Reluctantly, Leafpool let her sister led her and the dark brown tabby that accompanied them toward the stretch of grass where the Twolegs came every greenleaf. They stopped on the bank of a narrow stream and Leafpool couldn't help but grimace at the thought of jumping across it.
"I don't think I can make it across." She confessed, watching her sister giving the stream a sniff while Brambleclaw kneading the ground impatiently, tail twitching with curiosity.
Squirrelflight straightened herself and settled down on the bank of the stream. Warping her tail around her paws, she invited her Clanmates to settle down with a strained voice.
Leafpool settled down stiffly, watching Brambleclaw out of the corner of her eyes. She knew Squirrelflight would never wish to hurt her but Brambleclaw was not a cat she trusted. With the knowledge of him, visiting the Dark Forest, Leafpool was not sure whether or not her sister had made the right choice, regardless of what StarClan thought of it.
"Leafpool is expecting kits." Squirrelflight started the conversation bluntly, her eyes impassive, giving nothing away as she stared at her mate who stared back, amber eyes wide, slowly processing the words that had left her lips.
Leafpool looked down to her paws, part of her wishing she could undo time and correct the mistakes she had made. Another part, the part that she named 'Selfish Leafpool', wanted nothing to change as she loved the unborn kits so fiercely and was so determined to shelter those kits from the cruelty of life.
"What?" Eventually came the shock meow of Brambleclaw as he turned his amber eyes on the medicine cat. "But she is a medicine cat! She can't have kits!" He protested; each word clawed at Leafpool's heart, leaving unseen bloody gashes.
"Accidents happen!" Came the angry hiss of Squirrelflight, who had her pelt fluffed out, facing her mate and the deputy of her Clan. "No cat can be so perfect that they haven't made a mistake during their life." She argued forcefully. Passion was in her words but Leafpool could feel her heart breaking.
This was her fault yet Squirrelflight was there beside her, supporting her regardless of her torn heart, torn between the loyalty to her littermate and the loyalty to her mate and her Clan…
"Then what are you going to do?" Brambleclaw asked, sounding calmer. His voice was steady and emotionless as he studied Leafpool with narrowed amber eyes. Indeed, Leafpool was plumper than before and most of the Clan didn't think much of it as StarClan had blessed them with plenty of prey this leaf-fall.
Gathering her courage, Leafpool managed to lift her head. Sandstorm had drilled into her head when she was a kit that she should always keep her head high and face every challenge with the strength of a lioness. "I want these kits to be raised with love and without ominous whispers." She replied with an edge. Her amber eyes flashed as she regarded the deputy, far from the gentle amber eyes that her Clanmates were used to but the eyes of a mother who would not hesitate to protect her kits even when her life was at risk.
"And which is why I am thinking of taking them in." Squirrelflight joined in with her steely green eyes, daring Brambleclaw to protest. She seemed to be choosing her littermate's side as she lifted her head challengingly.
"And lie to your Clan?" Brambleclaw retorted sharply, eyes turned into slits. "To your father, Firestar? To your mother, Sandstorm?" He bared his teeth at the sisters, tail lashing angrily. "Are you ready to live the rest of your life, knowing you have lied to each and every one of your Clanmates?"
Leafpool could feel herself tremble and she could tell Squirrelflight was trembling as well but that didn't stop the ginger she-cat to meet her mate's eyes daringly. "It takes two to tell a lie, Brambleclaw: one to tell the lie and another to believe it." She hissed, green eyes flashed warningly.
Leafpool felt like she had swallowed a stone and let out a small sigh. She was not happy that her sister was arguing with her mate again. While she wanted her kits to have a proper family, she didn't want her sister to fall out with her mate when she had just found peace.
Quietly, Squirrelflight added. "I won't ask much of you, Brambleclaw. Whether you want to report this to Firestar or stay silent, it is your choice. I won't take the kits without telling you. If I do, you will think I don't trust you, which I do. I really do…" Her green gaze was sad when it rested on the dark brown tabby who sat through the conversation as stiff as stones.
Finally, the tom's shoulder relaxed as he stared at the stream. "I will think about it." He answered through gritted teeth before standing up. "Come on. We should find you a place to sleep, Leafpool."
The encounter with the fox had been branded into her mind even when Squirrelflight curled up against her sister in a nest made for ferns that Brambleclaw had been nice enough to paw together for the expecting queen.
Ever since she was young, Squirrelflight couldn't imagine her sister expecting kits. Leafpool had always stood out, in a good way. She didn't seem to be interest in toms and the idea of Leafpool with kits was weirder when the pale tabby she-cat chose to be apprenticed to their medicine cat, Cinderpelt.
She didn't think the impossible scenario would come true…
She certainly didn't think she would one day helping her sister with instructions from a StarClan cat while the smaller cat was in labor in a hollow tree far away from the comfort of ThunderClan's nursery, with her mate standing guard outside and the weight of the revelation that she would never had kits of her own on her shoulders.
"Is it over?" Brambleclaw poked his head inside as soon as the mewling of the newborn kits filled the air and Leafpool gently offered them the milk that they were mewing for.
Nodding tiredly, Squirrelflight flicked her tail, inviting her mate in while her eyes rested on the newborn kits. They were small and delicate and they were the cutest kits she had ever seen.
"Have you thought of any name?" Brambleclaw asked, amber eyes were glued on the small kits. Squirrelflight could see the thoughts of kits excited him and he longed for a litter of kits, his and hers kits but she didn't have the heart to tell him what StarClan had told her.
Leafpool stared at him for a while before dipping her head to give the black kit a soothing lick as she began mewling. "The little ones will be fine, Leafpool." Yellowfang meowed briskly before glaring at Squirrelflight. "Either you tell your mate or StarClan will do that for you."
With eyes narrowed at the mate in question, she faded away, with only the scents of wet stones lingering.
Squirrelflight bristled until she felt Brambleclaw's tail on her shoulder. He had a concern look in his eyes when her green eyes met his amber ones. Taking a deep breath, she managed a squeezed out an apology to Leafpool before guiding her mate outside with her plump tail on his shoulder.
She steeled herself when she thought of the secret she was trying to tell him. Squirrelflight was afraid for the first time in her life. She knew Brambleclaw yearned for a family as Goldenflower had passed away, Tawnypelt was in ShadowClan, Mothwing was a busy medicine cat and they didn't meet a lot, Hawkfrost was dead and Tigerstar, well, he wasn't exactly a good cat and he was dead too. This would be a huge shock for him and she wasn't ready to do it.
In the end, she just groaned mentally and let events unfold naturally. "There is something I want to tell you." She meowed, watching as Brambleclaw squinted his eyes curiously. "Yellowfang came to me and told me I don't have the ability to have kits."
For a moment, Brambleclaw seemed to freeze, amber eyes clouded with something she couldn't understand. Then, he blinked and his amber eyes were clear again and they shone with a light that made Squirrelflight fluttered inside.
"It is okay." He meowed at last, head buried into her shoulder, a broken purr sounded in his throat. "Then I will stay by your side, forever." He whispered, voice roughed with unspoken emotions. "Kits or no kits, I will always be your mate. Unless you wish to choose Ashfur over me."
Squirrelflight didn't remember when she had started trembling but forced out a snort at his words. "I told you, Brambleclaw. I chose you. It will always be you." She could detect the jealousy that he had tried to hide.
While it irked her to no end when Brambleclaw tried to keep her out of danger; she could hold her own well enough, thank you very much; her heart melt because the concern he showed. And though she was annoyed at his jealousy of Ashfur, in a way, it was great to be loved by another cat who was not her family.
She liked Ashfur. He was a great cat, a fierce, loyal warrior of ThunderClan but she couldn't help but feel like he wasn't an ideal mate for her. Ashfur didn't seem to be destined to be her mate. Otherwise, StarClan wouldn't send Leafpool that dream. And he did insult Leafpool once…
Her trail of thoughts was broken when Brambleclaw trailed his tail along her flank. "If we are adopting Leafpool's kits, I don't want the black she-kit named Crowkit." He murmured; amber eyes darkened. "The Clan will suspect when we have a black kit named Crowkit. It could lead to dreadful rumors."
Squirrelflight couldn't help but roll her eyes. Typical Brambleclaw… Over-thinking again… "I am sure Leafpool will let us have a say in the kits' name." She meowed briskly. "Personally, I think Hollykit is a nice name for a cute black kit like her. Or we could go with the usual Blackkit, Goldenkit and Graykit."
With a tender flick of his tail, Brambleclaw leaned his head on hers. "They are Leafpool's. Your kin… Of course they deserve something special."
After a lot of coercing, Leafpool had finally let them named the black kit Hollykit instead of Crowkit. And Brambleclaw knew it broke the brown tabby's heart when she relented and let them named her daughter Hollykit.
What worried him was what to tell the Clan. Ferncloud and Daisy, the queens in the nursery wouldn't be fooled if they spin a tale of Squirrelflight already expecting before the journey. However, Squirrelflight had lashed her tail and said Ferncloud and Daisy wanted the best for kits, no matter whose their parents were and would not blink an eye if they showed up and told ThunderClan they were hers and Brambleclaw's.
Leafpool was not assured by that plan and neither was Brambleclaw…
Sure, he had had doubts about adopting the kits but he couldn't help but be charmed by the little ones.
Hollykit seemed to be a natural leader, thoughtful and fierce, reminding him really much of her mother, who was usually kind and caring but could claw off a cat's ears. She reminded him of Crowfeather too, because of her impatience, most of the time and her appearance as well.
Privately, he hoped no one would ask where her black fur came from. If he remembered correctly, he had heard of Tigerstar's mother, Leopardfoot was her name, having a black pelt. Maybe that would convince the Clan if that question popped up.
Lionkit, the golden tabby tom who had a mane of fur around his neck, making him look like a lion, which was what gave him his name, by the look of it, would one day be a warrior that ThunderClan would be proud of.
Watching the tom wrestling with a leaf took Brambleclaw back to the days where he had been Bramblekit, playing with Tawnykit in the nursery with Goldenflower watching over them fondly. He wondered if Goldenflower was aware of the little ones and if she agreed with his decision.
Probably… Goldenflower was a kind cat. The best mother a cat could ask for.
And lastly, the gray tabby kit, whose eyes had opened recently and according to the sisters, they were so blue, like a jay's wing that they decided to name him Jaykit. Brambleclaw, himself, still hadn't forgotten the last kin of his who had blue eyes much like Jaykit and how he ended up. The brown tabby just wished the little kit would be spared of that cruelty.
But he seemed to be worrying for nothing when Jaykit had proven himself to be quite a capable cat. He always stumbled after his littermates, not caring if he was the littlest. And to be honest, he reminded Brambleclaw of the cat who was curled up against him, grieving because of the newest discovery they had made.
Leafpool and Squirrelflight had made a discovery when he had been out to hunt. When he returned with a rather scrawny blackbird, the kits were already in their nest while Leafpool and Squirrelflight curled up together, sharing hushed whispers.
When he had asked them what was wrong, Squirrelflight had looked at him with wide green eyes, a look that didn't cross her face much, and announced in a dread-filled voice.
"Jaykit is blind."
Three words and the world seemed to be collapsing around him.
"There are other ways for him to help his Clan." He had pointed out after a moment of silence. "He could be Leafpool's apprentice."
He couldn't get much further because the said cat snarled and advanced on him like a hunter concerning her prey. "I don't want him to live a life like that." Her pretty face twisted into a scowl. "I want him to have a mate and kits and live happily. Not alone in the medicine den without company."
Thankfully, Squirrelflight had interfered and soothed her littermate before Brambleclaw got a torn ear. He shivered as he remembered the fury in the she-cat's words. Was that what she felt? He wondered. Alone without a company? He, no, they had thought Leafpool was comfortable, being a medicine cat.
Shaking his head, he sighed. The past shouldn't be dwelled on. The future was what matter. Tomorrow, they would head back to the Hollow and their new lives would begin.