Punched

Most people think of love as being soft and caring, you know like hugs and kisses and all that gushy stuff.

For me I found the love of my life in the only female that ever punched me in the face and broke my nose.

God that hurt! But after Lily Evans in all her redheaded glory punched me all I could think about was how good she looked.

That lasted until the shock wore off and I could feel the pain.

Then I hexed her. Not a smart move when you're trying to win the love of your life.

Although most people would argue that I had a good reason, to hex her that is.

I suppose you want to know the hex I used?

Yes, well once I had read this muggle fairy tale, see?

And it had this very ugly picture of a witch in it. With warts and green skin and a huge nose.

I thought it was very stereotypical and derogatory, until I remembered the pictures my mother showed me of my great grandmother.

After that I considered that great-gran gran was the model the muggle artist used.

Anyway back to the hex. I know your all thinking, well duh he used the uglifying hex!

But no my ladies and gents, I did not because like DUH the uglifying hex does not turn someone green for a few weeks so what good would that do me? None what so ever.

Yes, me in all my maraudering glory came up with a hex that not only made the person GREEN for weeks and weeks because no one but a marauder knew the counter curse, but it also (I will make a list here of all that pure genius that this hex included):

It made their hair long, greasy, and stringy (rather like Snape's I do believe).

It made their nose a foot long (do not worry this information is totally accurate. I measured).

It gives them warts, tons of warts. Not only on their face but other less comfortable areas.

It makes their voice all nice and screechy (this part only lasts for a few hours, I mean think of the people who would have to listen to them!).

So as you can see not a hex that will win over my future bride very easily.

Anyhow maybe I deserved being punched. I was after all putting Snivellous through some very funny public humiliation, and unfortunately Snivellous was my darling Lily flower's best friend. Erg, the horror!

Although when you think about it (and I don't really want to) I could thank Snivellous for first getting me interested in Lily Evans. As if I'd ever thank him for anything. Pfff!

Back to being punched. Well you see the second after my reflect reaction set in and Evans looked all witchy I remembered that moments before Evans had looked dam HOT!! I admit the image turned me on a bit. Of course at that moment she didn't look anything but butt ugly, but my thoughts didn't linger there.

Nope my thoughts reacted to the thought that Lily Evans had just cursed me with an extremely powerful bat boogey hex.

That's when I blacked out.

When I woke up again it was a week later and all I could think about was how excruciatingly sexy Evans looked when she was mad.

So began the plan Annoy the Hell Out of Evans and Hope She Goes Out With Me or A.H.O.E.H.S.G.O.W.M for short. Sirius was the only person that remembered the shortened version of the plan name. I wonder why?

What can I say I was a stupid 4rth year.

Now I'm in 7th and in five minutes I'm going on my first date with Lily Evans.

For the love of God will I not botch this up!

A/N this was a very short one-shot that just came to me today. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!! My other story has not gotten a single review for either of the 2 chapters and 4000 some words put into it. I would like at least one for this. I will love you forever!