Disclaimer: I do not House, or else Cuddy's character would not be such a.... URGH
A/N: Alright....well I'm sure alot of you are like "WHAT IS THIS CRAZY LADY DOING POSTING ANOTHER STORY" well I was about to update one of my other stories when I saw the ep and got depressed so I wrote this depressing little thing. It might not be too long it might be still thinking lolol. But yeah SORRY! I am going to update Here We Go Again really soon since thats the story I have the majority finished in and then Reunion Catastrophe.... I really need to start on Missing Link though lol and the next NEW story I post is going to be from a challenge lol. But yea SORRY dont worry I am getting better at using my time wisely. I write my chapters through out the week praying for one to get done lol. Oh and I didnt update anything this weekend cuz we were celebrating my birthday hehe I'm old now haha jk. Still a rambuncous teenager lol.
Well anyways, thanks to my temp. beta lenasti16 for beta-ing this last minute and I hope you all like it. Sorry for any OOCness and this is going to be very angst.
Cuddy stared out at the large window in her office. Her face wore an expression of shock as she tried to take in everything that had happened just moments ago. She looked at the ring of her finger and closed her eyes and thinned her lips as a tear escaped. So what she did actually happened? And the look of hurt on House's face was actually real. She had accepted a marriage proposal from Lucas Douglas P.I. This was too surreal.
She sat in her chair and put her head in her hands as the moment replayed over and over in her head. The look on House's face nearly killed her and suddenly the rest was a haze and she found herself in her office. Had she really hurt him that bad? Maybe he deserved it for hurting her. But still, something inside her ached as the hurt on House's face stayed glued in her mind.
--
She walked into the Clinic after being paged. She looked around worriedly and found Lucas standing there, smiling as he held out roses to her. She gave small, weak smile as she realized that there was no real emergency in the clinic.
"Lucas, what are you doing?" She asked as she graciously accepted the flowers.
She set them aside for a moment as Lucas called for everyone's attention and took her hand. She bit her lip thinking that this was all a dream or a hallucination maybe even a nightmare, but it was real. She felt him hold her hand tightly as he pulled out a beautiful, onyx leather box out of his pocket.
"Lisa," He asked as his eyes twinkled. "Will you marry me?"
Cuddy's eyes grew wide as tears – she assumed were of joy – formed in her eyes. She nodded weakly and felt as if someone were doing it for her. She saw Lucas smile brightly as he came up and put the ring on her finger while giving her a big kiss. They separated into an embraced and she saw him.
House was standing just a few feet away with his brows furrowed. The twinkle and color that had enchanted his eyes had suddenly disappeared from sight. His eyes were now dull and colorless, as if a gray crayon had colored over the beauty. She saw him swallow hard, knowing he was trying to conceal his hurt and she wanted to go to him and hold his hand in reassurance and help him, but she couldn't. She felt numb. She felt as if she had lost all control and movement in her body.
House's posture stood straight in pride and his brows furrowed deeper with meaning as he tried to camouflage the hurt that threaten to scar his face. He gave a small and weak nod as he put the patient file in his hand down and quickly limped away towards his office to hide for a little before heading home for the weekend.
Cuddy was at a lost for words. Her mouth was suddenly dry and her vocabulary was abruptly restricted. She tried to call out but instead all that escaped was a gasp as she came back to life and pulled away from Lucas. She got several congratulations and cheerful looks from her employees. Wilson, though, looked disappointed at her as he turned and walked away. She felt Lucas kiss her cheek and didn't understand him when he said he had to leave to do his job. She watched as he left and involuntarily walked into her office. She leaned on the door as she locked it and found her way slowly and weakly to her desk.
--
She sat at her desk and held her head in hands as she began to feel a pang of hurt tightening in her chest. The look on House's face was too unbearable. Maybe if she gave him a week off he'd have time to relax and get used to the idea. She knew that she couldn't face him again if he had that face every time he looked at her. She felt as if she had just stabbed a knife straight through his back, through his lung and into his heart. Then she twisted it until he cried out in pain.
She looked down in remorse and noticed a few drops of water that had stained her papers. She felt her cheek and suddenly realized she had been crying. This time she wasn't so sure if they were tears of joy or tears of hurt and sadness. She wiped her face and cheek and got up and unevenly walked to her bathroom to fix herself up.
--
House sat in his office and stared out the window as he was not able to get a wink of sleep. His blinds were left wide open and the door was welcoming everyone in. He didn't care if she found him there doing nothing. He didn't care if she threatened to fire him. Hell, he didn't care if she did anything anymore. He was too hurt.
He knew they were getting serious, but he never expected them to be engaged. He thought that, he thought that she'd never leave. She was his constant in his life and he wanted it to stay that way. Now it was different. She was a variable now, able to do whatever the hell she wants. A variable without a solution and that would leave the expression open and unanswered. And being the infamous Dr. Gregory House, he did not want to leave a single question, equation, expression, or problem unanswered.
He had so many questions to bombard her with, but it wasn't the time. He didn't eve know if he could face her again. He didn't mind change to much anymore, but this change was too big. It was too big and hitting him too fast.
He knew that Cuddy would probably be happy with Lucas, but it wasn't fair. He hadn't even gotten his fair chance. Well, not a fair second chance. Lucas got two chances and yet he only got one. When he finally decided to take his second chance Lucas comes into the picture and takes it right away. Was this a sign? Were the gods that he didn't believe in not wanted him and Cuddy to be together? Were they really just that cruel?
He looked at the time and saw that it was 3:45. That was probably close enough to 5 for him to leave. He had no case, no clinic duty and no one would miss him. He gathered his things quickly and limped out the back door trying to avoid any confrontation with either Wilson or Cuddy. All he wanted to do now was to go home and relax. Unwind and get his mind off of all the events that were unwinding before his very eyes.
--
After calming down a bit, Cuddy found a quick and easy excuse to talk to House. She could talk to him about a simple case and subtly get his opinion on Lucas and the engagement. Though she didn't know why she cared. She needed a man to be there for her everyday and that was Lucas. Still, she'd feel guilty not asking House. She'd feel like she was stabbing the knife deeper into his heart.
She walked up to his office and found the ducklings being bored while House's office was empty. She walked in and found his stuff missing and realized he had ditched work. She felt a pang of hurt as House returned the stab, but not as deep a wound as she had given him. In due time, though, she knew he'd find a way to pay her back for the pain she had just caused him.
She turned on her heel as she hid her small pang of hurt and quickly walked into the elevator. As the doors closed, she could see House's face haunting her once more. Her heart twisted as it became clearer to her. House was truly in love with her and she hadn't even given him an impartial opportunity. As a tear slipped down her cheek she came to realize, that that's what hurt her the most.
A/N: Well there you have it, my first angst story... kinda lol. Well I'm not depressed anymore but I might continue this story if you guys want me to. Like I said I'm going to update another story first though. lol I hope you all liked it. Please Review!
-Jess