Author: Fumi
Title: Why Sporks Are Better
Rating: PG-13, some language
Pairing: Assumed HikaruxHaruhi
Summary: Something was annoying Hikaru, and it has something to do with a fork.
Word Count: 709
Notes: This story was written two years ago for Ouran fic.

Something was… annoying, yeah that's what it was, annoying. But what was it?

Hikaru scanned the room, Honey was eating sweets, and Mori was hovering nearby with a toothbrush, nothing new there.

Kaoru's and his fangirls had fainted from the forbidden shounen-ai twincest. Hikaru sweatdropped at that, Pathetic girls…

Kyouya was writing in that notebook of his. Creepy bastard…

And… Tamaki was clinging to Haruhi… Bingo I think we have a winner! Hikaru sarcastically thought to himself. What is it this time? She held her fork cutely? He grumbled.

Kaoru grinned from the side at Hikaru as Tamaki ran to the tea table closest to himself, picked up a fork and yelled. "Haruhi! Hold the fork just like you did before for Otousan! Otousan thought it was so kawaii~!"

Hikaru sweatdropped, What… the… hell?!?

"Dame" Haruhi coldly replied.

"Haruhi! Why are you so cruel to your Otousan?!" Tamaki cried tears streaming down his face as he ran towards her.

Hikaru wasted no time and with inhuman speed raced in front of Haruhi grabbed Tamaki by the face and slammed him into the ground.

There was an eerie silence in the room as Tamaki stood up dusted off his knees and started sobbing. "Why did you do that to your Otousan?!" he asked obviously upset.

"Shut up! I'm sick of everyone being okay with you being a pervert with some kind of sick father-child fantasy!" was the angry reply.

"Haruhi! Comfort me!" as Tamaki was about to engulf Haruhi in a hug Hikaru kicked him in the face.

"Get away from her pervert! Go molest someone else!"

The fangirls gasped.

Haruhi looked thoughtfully at Hikaru. "Could it be, you're jealous?" she bluntly asked.

Hikaru blushed, "T-that's not it!"

"Hikaru's jealous! Hikaru's jealous!" Honey started chanting as he ran around the room with Mori chasing after him.

He looked to his twin for support but Kaoru was bent over laughing. "He's so… Oh my god… When Okaasan hears about this…"

A broken vein stood out as he watched his twin. "Now see here Kaoru…"

"Kya~!!!!" Renge cried interrupting Hikaru's threat. "I could eat five bowls of rice!!! Kya~!!!"

All the excitement woke up the twins' fainted customers. One asked, "Ne, what's going on?" as she wiped sleepy sand from her eyes.

Renge slapped on spectacles and started pointing at a whiteboard. "As you can see, it started with Tamaki smothering Haruhi-kun with affection. Hikaru interfered because he has been suffering from his unrequited love towards our natural type. In his rage he brutally attacked Tamaki and Kaoru, on the sidelines sobs from the lack of attention from his beloved brother!"

The fangirls glanced at Kaoru, who was indeed crying from laughing too hard, and fainted. Faint cries of "So much love," "Such a beautiful foursome," and "I'm so jealous" could be heard from the twitching girls every now and again.

At this point Kyouya decided to do something about the whole thing and herded all of the conscious customers out of the music room. As the last girl left the Shadow King adjusted his glasses and said "Next time, please leave domestic disputes for outside club related activities." His eyes took on a hard glint, "Ne?"

Tamaki sobbed into Haruhi's unwilling arms, "Why is everyone so mean to Otousan?!? WHY?!?"

Haruhi looked to the side. "This is going to raise my debt exponentially isn't it?" she sighed.

Hikaru glowered. That's IT! Every one of them is going to pay. Tamaki for being stupid, Mori for being creepily quiet, Kaoru for laughing at me instead of backing me up, Haruhi for being Haruhi, Kyouya for being an annoying planning bastard, and Honey for being so god damn annoyingly repetitive and immature!!!

As if sensing the ill will towards him Honey stopped running around the room and ran towards Hikaru sobbing "I'm sorry!

Okay, so maybe everyone but Honey would pay…

"Ne, Takashi" Honey not so quietly whispered from the side. "Is it possible for guys to PMS?"

Scratch that, everyone's dead. Hikaru grinned mischievously.

"N-now hold on Hikaru, no need to pick that up…" Tamaki started. "P-Put it down, no one needs to be hurt! Ah~! Tasukete!!!!"

A crash could be heard from outside the music room and the nearby students sweatdropped.

Yeah... I'm putting up these stories because I wanted to put something up for my birthday and I didn't write anything new -_-
11/23/08