A/N: Comic Relief is back. I honestly think this one is really good, hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the big lake full of tea, the hippogriff Tweggi, and the plot. Josh belongs to Sunglow, and himself. :)
TEA
Hermione, Harry, and Ron sat around the table that Sirius had conjured in his cave.
"Now, anything new up at school?" Sirius asked now conjuring up a kettle.
"There's a couple of new teachers, but everything besides that is normal as normal gets around here." Harry answered.
"Tea anyone?" Sirius asked turning around.
"I want tea. Please, can I have some!" A squeaky voice asked. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Sirius jumped up and looked around. The only other person or creature, that was in the cave was Buckbeak.
"Who said that?" Hermione asked looking wildly around the cave.
"Me! I want tea!" Ron was now staring at Buckbeak.
He closed his eyes and then opened them, "He, he just asked for tea!?!?!"
"Can I please have tea?" This time they were certain he had spoken.
"Umm yeah sure, why not." Sirius walked warily up to Buckbeak and set down the saucer of tea. Buckbeak bent his head forward and drank it all in one large gulp.
"Thank you! That was yummy! Come on! I'll take you for a ride!" Buckbeak screeched leaning down on his scaly knees. Timidly they climbed onto his back. Sirius, Harry, Hermione and finally Ron. "Let's go!!!!" And Buckbeak flew out of the cave going very fast to an unknown destination. When what seemed like a 5-hour trip came to an end everyone was thrilled.
"I'm telling you, that is extremely uncomfortable," Ron said as he helped Hermione down. Harry got down not complain for he had ridden Buckbeak on two other occasions.
"Not the best travel but still- Oh my gosh! We're as Remus's house!" Sirius exclaimed. Sure enough as everyone turned towards the direction that Sirius was facing they saw Professor Lupin running from a normal suburb home minus the fact it was in the middle of the woods.
"What are you guys doing here! Voldemort isn't back!? Come in, let's talk," he led them into his house, which was _extremely_ clean.
"No we're not here to deliver any bad news, what's been happening around here."
"Nothing really Sirius. Just tiding up. So is it just you four here?" Remus asked moving around to a room coming back shortly holding a kettle.
"Yep just us," Harry said.
"Ahh yes then, would you care for any tea?" There was a loud thumping sound outside.
"Drop the tea and run for your life!" Hermione screeched, jumping behind a large overstuffed chair. Everyone followed suit, and Remus quickly dropped the tea.
Remus looked around puzzled, "What's going-" BOOM Buckbeak flew in through the door making a hole in the wall as he went
"Yum, tea! Thank you very much!" As he finished he flew back outside.
"My house," Remus said looking around in shock," well we're lucky I can easily repair it." With a flick of his wand the door was replaced and he fixed the hole as well, though the house looked very different now. "Right, what's new at Hogwarts?" He asked brushing back a strand of hair, relieved that his house hadn't been damaged beyond repair.
"Nothing." Harry answered.
"Just new professors." Ron chimed in.
"Hermione, what about you? Anything new or exciting that's happening?" Remus asked turning to look at her, the others turned also, but what they saw was just not normal. Hermione had an evil mischievous look on her face that was never there before. "Oh no, not good, oh no oh no," Remus mumbled glancing around his house nervously.
"You know," Hermione slowly began, "your house is veryyyyyy clean."
"Yes, and we want to keep it that way don't we?" Remus asked, twiddling his thumbs. But Hermione continued as though she hadn't heard anything.
"TOO clean, don't you agree?" Hermione had now stood up.
"Oh… nonsense! It's not that clean at all! I mean really it's just perfect the way it is right?" Remus was now backing into a wall filled with many things, looking quite hysterical.
"Are you sure, cause I don't think so, for instance, just look at this counter." She walked up to the kitchen area and waved her wand. Dust sprinkled on to the, now ink smudged, counter.
"No! Stop in the name of the law!" Remus screamed.
Hermione continued though ignoring Remus, "And take a look at this fire place! No soot in sight! Don't worry consider your problem fixed." Once again she waved her wand. There was now soot on the floor, and all over the mantel place.
"Oh please stop, that's enough! No more!" Remus begged.
"This shelf, I say, is way to clean! Don't you think so Ron?" Hermione asked looking at Ron. Ron, who had been sitting in shock, jumped up at being addressed.
"Uh yeah, way to clean." Ron said finding it smarter to agree with Hermione. She continued to make things messy, and break anything she could get her hands on. Remus was sitting on the remaining pieces of a chair that was once fine and elegant muttering something that sounded vaguely like, "Such a sweet girl, such a nice girl. Why me, Why!" Harry was standing by the door in unexplainable shock. Ron had gone to following Hermione around, and Sirius stood in the corner smiling broadly.
"Much, MUCH better," Hermione said satisfied starring at the messy, mangled house, "yes, it's never looked better, never."
"Look at my house, my beautiful house! It's ruined, why me, always me!" Remus wailed tears in his eyes.
"My friend I feel your pain." Sirius said.
"How could you possible know how I feel!"
"I know Remus it hurts." Sirius said patting his friend on the back.
"It does, but I'll clean it again." Remus suddenly jerked his head up.
"Stop it! Leave me alone!" A voice screamed.
"You cannot hide it, just look at it!" This time they knew who was outside."
"Karkaroff's out their chasing Snape, I tell you, it's no tea party listening to them everyday." Ron said
"Tea where's tea? Oh my, I smell tea 55.5 million miles away! I must go," Buckbeak screeched. He then flew off.
"Don't say the "T" word." Harry warned. He then suddenly jumped up from his seat on the floor. I just said it!" He looked around wildly, but saw no Buckbeak. "Whew!" Everybody arose and stepped outside. Sure enough Karkaroff and Snape were in the clearing arguing.
"You," Snape shouted spotting them, "what do you think you're doing here?!?!"
"Excuse me! What do YOU think you're doing here?" Remus asked starring at the two.
"That Remus, is none of your business." Snape replied starring at him with hate in his eyes.
"You know, this is MY property!" Remus shouted.
"We don't care do we Igor?… Igor!?" Snape looked to Karkaroff. He was staring at Sirius. If course Karkaroff knew the Ministry hadn't found him, but he also knew that Sirius hated him.
"Oh yeah, remember ME?" Sirius asked stepping forward.
"Didn't me have tea together?" Karkaroff asked, nervously curling his goatee. Suddenly there was a great swishing sound.
"Oh no! I think Buckbeak's not alone this time!" Ron shouted. He was right. There they were, hundreds of hippogriff's.
"Tea, we want tea please!" A dark brown hippogriff said in a deep voice.
"Stand back everyone," Hermione shouted. Everyone quickly moved aside, "Tealanos!" Tea was in front of every hippogriff. Not small cups but gigantic ones.
"Thank you, now we can have tea!" Buckbeak squealed.
"No problem!" Hermione said smiling.
After getting over the shock of seeing Sirius, Karkaroff spoke, "What shall we do?! It is a sign, he is near." Snape stepped back and hit an orange hippogriff.
"Get away you wretched fool." Snape screamed at Karkaroff. "OUCH!" Snape shouted out. He looked at his arm to see a deep gash.
"You will never speak to Tweggi like that again!" With his orange color Tweggi looked deadly.
Snape quickly scrambled away, "Sorry!
"Now do you see it? The signs are so clear! That ugly Tweggi just proved it." Karkaroff said. What came next was fast swift and excellent. Instead of attacking Karkaroff, Tweggi did something amazing.
"Want a ride?" Karkaroff, the idiot he was, climbed on. Tweggi took off.
"Weeeee! Yay! Go horsy! Giddy up!" Karkaroff put his hands into the air and waved them back and forth. Suddenly Tweggi flipped over. "Oops!…I'm falling again!" Karkaroff fell through the air right on top of Snape. "I just fell down, ouch, it hurt, now I have to go, does anyone care? On well, bye, And Karkaroff was dead.
Snape though was not dead, and he was not awake, he appeared to be unconscious. "I say, you deserve a prize!" Remus said happily. "I know, Tealotsoano!" The large lake that had been filled with crystal clear water was now filled with tea that could last year's.
"Thank you!" A hippogriff named Josh said.
"You are very kind!" Buckbeak chimed in.
"We shall always be at your service. Well except for when we're drinking tea." Tweggi said.
"Well then, drink!" Remus called.
"How about we start heading back now?" Hermione said. Buckbeak was again kneeling in front of them. Everyone climbed on and waved good bye to Remus. Soon they were back in the entrance hall, walking to the common room when suddenly Hermione stopped, "We forgot Snape!"
Ron smiled, "Now we just need Trelawny to leave!"
~*~*~2 long years later~*~*~
If you entered a lonely forest you would see a house with windows boarded, and the door locked with 10 locks. Through a little hole Sirius Black Spoke, "Remus, it's me, open the door."
"Wha- Sirius, hi. Are you alone?" Remus asked.
"Yeah I'm alone." He replied. Remus looked as far as he could through the hole but saw only Sirius.
"Ok come on." He unlocked the locks and opened the door.
"Your house is clean again!" Hermione said smiling.
And that's what really happened!!!!!!!
end
A/N: Well? R/R. One thing I would like to say is I've got all these stories but they're all me and Sunglows ideas, and I thought why don't you give me the ideas? I can't think of any new subject now so help would be appreciated. Just tell me what you want happening. I'll disclude Karkaroff too, just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I'm BEGGING! Give me ideas you want, tell me it was the STUPIDEST thing in the world, just let me know you read it!
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the big lake full of tea, the hippogriff Tweggi, and the plot. Josh belongs to Sunglow, and himself. :)
TEA
Hermione, Harry, and Ron sat around the table that Sirius had conjured in his cave.
"Now, anything new up at school?" Sirius asked now conjuring up a kettle.
"There's a couple of new teachers, but everything besides that is normal as normal gets around here." Harry answered.
"Tea anyone?" Sirius asked turning around.
"I want tea. Please, can I have some!" A squeaky voice asked. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Sirius jumped up and looked around. The only other person or creature, that was in the cave was Buckbeak.
"Who said that?" Hermione asked looking wildly around the cave.
"Me! I want tea!" Ron was now staring at Buckbeak.
He closed his eyes and then opened them, "He, he just asked for tea!?!?!"
"Can I please have tea?" This time they were certain he had spoken.
"Umm yeah sure, why not." Sirius walked warily up to Buckbeak and set down the saucer of tea. Buckbeak bent his head forward and drank it all in one large gulp.
"Thank you! That was yummy! Come on! I'll take you for a ride!" Buckbeak screeched leaning down on his scaly knees. Timidly they climbed onto his back. Sirius, Harry, Hermione and finally Ron. "Let's go!!!!" And Buckbeak flew out of the cave going very fast to an unknown destination. When what seemed like a 5-hour trip came to an end everyone was thrilled.
"I'm telling you, that is extremely uncomfortable," Ron said as he helped Hermione down. Harry got down not complain for he had ridden Buckbeak on two other occasions.
"Not the best travel but still- Oh my gosh! We're as Remus's house!" Sirius exclaimed. Sure enough as everyone turned towards the direction that Sirius was facing they saw Professor Lupin running from a normal suburb home minus the fact it was in the middle of the woods.
"What are you guys doing here! Voldemort isn't back!? Come in, let's talk," he led them into his house, which was _extremely_ clean.
"No we're not here to deliver any bad news, what's been happening around here."
"Nothing really Sirius. Just tiding up. So is it just you four here?" Remus asked moving around to a room coming back shortly holding a kettle.
"Yep just us," Harry said.
"Ahh yes then, would you care for any tea?" There was a loud thumping sound outside.
"Drop the tea and run for your life!" Hermione screeched, jumping behind a large overstuffed chair. Everyone followed suit, and Remus quickly dropped the tea.
Remus looked around puzzled, "What's going-" BOOM Buckbeak flew in through the door making a hole in the wall as he went
"Yum, tea! Thank you very much!" As he finished he flew back outside.
"My house," Remus said looking around in shock," well we're lucky I can easily repair it." With a flick of his wand the door was replaced and he fixed the hole as well, though the house looked very different now. "Right, what's new at Hogwarts?" He asked brushing back a strand of hair, relieved that his house hadn't been damaged beyond repair.
"Nothing." Harry answered.
"Just new professors." Ron chimed in.
"Hermione, what about you? Anything new or exciting that's happening?" Remus asked turning to look at her, the others turned also, but what they saw was just not normal. Hermione had an evil mischievous look on her face that was never there before. "Oh no, not good, oh no oh no," Remus mumbled glancing around his house nervously.
"You know," Hermione slowly began, "your house is veryyyyyy clean."
"Yes, and we want to keep it that way don't we?" Remus asked, twiddling his thumbs. But Hermione continued as though she hadn't heard anything.
"TOO clean, don't you agree?" Hermione had now stood up.
"Oh… nonsense! It's not that clean at all! I mean really it's just perfect the way it is right?" Remus was now backing into a wall filled with many things, looking quite hysterical.
"Are you sure, cause I don't think so, for instance, just look at this counter." She walked up to the kitchen area and waved her wand. Dust sprinkled on to the, now ink smudged, counter.
"No! Stop in the name of the law!" Remus screamed.
Hermione continued though ignoring Remus, "And take a look at this fire place! No soot in sight! Don't worry consider your problem fixed." Once again she waved her wand. There was now soot on the floor, and all over the mantel place.
"Oh please stop, that's enough! No more!" Remus begged.
"This shelf, I say, is way to clean! Don't you think so Ron?" Hermione asked looking at Ron. Ron, who had been sitting in shock, jumped up at being addressed.
"Uh yeah, way to clean." Ron said finding it smarter to agree with Hermione. She continued to make things messy, and break anything she could get her hands on. Remus was sitting on the remaining pieces of a chair that was once fine and elegant muttering something that sounded vaguely like, "Such a sweet girl, such a nice girl. Why me, Why!" Harry was standing by the door in unexplainable shock. Ron had gone to following Hermione around, and Sirius stood in the corner smiling broadly.
"Much, MUCH better," Hermione said satisfied starring at the messy, mangled house, "yes, it's never looked better, never."
"Look at my house, my beautiful house! It's ruined, why me, always me!" Remus wailed tears in his eyes.
"My friend I feel your pain." Sirius said.
"How could you possible know how I feel!"
"I know Remus it hurts." Sirius said patting his friend on the back.
"It does, but I'll clean it again." Remus suddenly jerked his head up.
"Stop it! Leave me alone!" A voice screamed.
"You cannot hide it, just look at it!" This time they knew who was outside."
"Karkaroff's out their chasing Snape, I tell you, it's no tea party listening to them everyday." Ron said
"Tea where's tea? Oh my, I smell tea 55.5 million miles away! I must go," Buckbeak screeched. He then flew off.
"Don't say the "T" word." Harry warned. He then suddenly jumped up from his seat on the floor. I just said it!" He looked around wildly, but saw no Buckbeak. "Whew!" Everybody arose and stepped outside. Sure enough Karkaroff and Snape were in the clearing arguing.
"You," Snape shouted spotting them, "what do you think you're doing here?!?!"
"Excuse me! What do YOU think you're doing here?" Remus asked starring at the two.
"That Remus, is none of your business." Snape replied starring at him with hate in his eyes.
"You know, this is MY property!" Remus shouted.
"We don't care do we Igor?… Igor!?" Snape looked to Karkaroff. He was staring at Sirius. If course Karkaroff knew the Ministry hadn't found him, but he also knew that Sirius hated him.
"Oh yeah, remember ME?" Sirius asked stepping forward.
"Didn't me have tea together?" Karkaroff asked, nervously curling his goatee. Suddenly there was a great swishing sound.
"Oh no! I think Buckbeak's not alone this time!" Ron shouted. He was right. There they were, hundreds of hippogriff's.
"Tea, we want tea please!" A dark brown hippogriff said in a deep voice.
"Stand back everyone," Hermione shouted. Everyone quickly moved aside, "Tealanos!" Tea was in front of every hippogriff. Not small cups but gigantic ones.
"Thank you, now we can have tea!" Buckbeak squealed.
"No problem!" Hermione said smiling.
After getting over the shock of seeing Sirius, Karkaroff spoke, "What shall we do?! It is a sign, he is near." Snape stepped back and hit an orange hippogriff.
"Get away you wretched fool." Snape screamed at Karkaroff. "OUCH!" Snape shouted out. He looked at his arm to see a deep gash.
"You will never speak to Tweggi like that again!" With his orange color Tweggi looked deadly.
Snape quickly scrambled away, "Sorry!
"Now do you see it? The signs are so clear! That ugly Tweggi just proved it." Karkaroff said. What came next was fast swift and excellent. Instead of attacking Karkaroff, Tweggi did something amazing.
"Want a ride?" Karkaroff, the idiot he was, climbed on. Tweggi took off.
"Weeeee! Yay! Go horsy! Giddy up!" Karkaroff put his hands into the air and waved them back and forth. Suddenly Tweggi flipped over. "Oops!…I'm falling again!" Karkaroff fell through the air right on top of Snape. "I just fell down, ouch, it hurt, now I have to go, does anyone care? On well, bye, And Karkaroff was dead.
Snape though was not dead, and he was not awake, he appeared to be unconscious. "I say, you deserve a prize!" Remus said happily. "I know, Tealotsoano!" The large lake that had been filled with crystal clear water was now filled with tea that could last year's.
"Thank you!" A hippogriff named Josh said.
"You are very kind!" Buckbeak chimed in.
"We shall always be at your service. Well except for when we're drinking tea." Tweggi said.
"Well then, drink!" Remus called.
"How about we start heading back now?" Hermione said. Buckbeak was again kneeling in front of them. Everyone climbed on and waved good bye to Remus. Soon they were back in the entrance hall, walking to the common room when suddenly Hermione stopped, "We forgot Snape!"
Ron smiled, "Now we just need Trelawny to leave!"
~*~*~2 long years later~*~*~
If you entered a lonely forest you would see a house with windows boarded, and the door locked with 10 locks. Through a little hole Sirius Black Spoke, "Remus, it's me, open the door."
"Wha- Sirius, hi. Are you alone?" Remus asked.
"Yeah I'm alone." He replied. Remus looked as far as he could through the hole but saw only Sirius.
"Ok come on." He unlocked the locks and opened the door.
"Your house is clean again!" Hermione said smiling.
And that's what really happened!!!!!!!
end
A/N: Well? R/R. One thing I would like to say is I've got all these stories but they're all me and Sunglows ideas, and I thought why don't you give me the ideas? I can't think of any new subject now so help would be appreciated. Just tell me what you want happening. I'll disclude Karkaroff too, just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I'm BEGGING! Give me ideas you want, tell me it was the STUPIDEST thing in the world, just let me know you read it!