Deserve for Happy end
I wrote about Huddy last sceane but I changed their dialog, please don't be cruel to me, english is not my first language I just like to write especially about Huddy
House was sitting on bathroom floor with vicodine bottle in his hand, he felt him shaking, his eyes become wet, he was so afraid to came back on drugs, but now he have nothing in his life, so why he should feel pain for nothing, he have nothing for what he should drop drugs. Wilson moved on, Cuddy moved on, and he left alone, he have nothing who would care, who would fill his life. He believed that without drugs he could have better life, maybe he even could have Cuddy, feel better, but he have nothing, his life won't become better, he doesn't have Cuddy, and it seems he will never could be with her.
House closed his eyes for second. He lost her, lost her forever, she is...getting married. He never felt so lonely , never felt so desperate, so hurt. He was trying to forget her, but how he could, he love her, it's not easy to forget someone you love, you love for so long time. How he could forget her when he seeing her every day, when he see her smile, her eyes.... he love everything in her. How he could forger her, stop loving her , how...?
He closed his eyes again, House opened vicodine bottle, his leg...he felt this horrible pain again, why he can't came back on drugs when his leg hurt so much. His leg....does he really think what he said for Hanna? That's true, that his leg made him worse person, that he is feeling such unworthy pain, which cause him being alone. But he is guilty too of being alone. He said, he likes being alone, but does he? Hewish to be with Cuddy, he wish to came back his friend...he even lost his only friend Wilson, he moved on...
He looked at his hand, at those two pills in his hand. He felt him shaking again, pain filed his eyes with tears. Take it or not ...? Pills would let to forget pain, to forget Cuddy, or maybe to make her hallucination, pills which made him worse person, pills - peace of heaven and road to hell.
He focused at his hand, at those pills, his hand shaking, but his life already suck.... but God decided that he finally deserve for something better, he send his a saver . He heard the steps, turned his head and sow...her.
He freeze , on his bathroom doorframe stand Cuddy. Still in her purple medicine uniform, pony tail, smelling of dusts. To see her in that horrible moment was unbelievable, she showed like angel, his saver. But he still remember that she moved on, still with Lucas, remember her yelling on him, remember her words " I don't love you", remember her eyes, maybe she even hate him.
-" Came for saving me from drugs?", his voice still shake, but he looked away and concentrate his brave. "- No..., it's your choice if you want to came back on drugs", he voice sound strong, unfriendly, seems she really doesn't care. "- Okay..", his voice still sound weak, he couldn't hide his disappointment, he really hoped that she is his saver. He looked at his hand again, strange but his wish to came back on drugs still decreased. "- Just so you know, I'm finding it hard to see the downside", he looked down again to his hand and pills. He wasn't sure, does he want her to leave, or to stay, stay for what? He doesn't feel brave enough to look at her. After her yelling he felt stupid that he love her and she hate him.
"- You need to re-bandage your shoulder.", she shook her head, and came inside the bathroom, her move seemed distrustful, she was looking at floors, then stand by wall and came back her eyes on him. "- You still know that I'm doctor too and I can do it by myself. So I guess Forman sent you", he looked down again, he can't manage her eyes, but in surprise she can. He felt uncomfortable to talk to her, to be around her, he have to forget her and looking at her won't help. But she can look at him, can be around him, she doesn't love him, maybe she even can't stand him, so to look into his eyes won't bother her. "-You can't re-bandage just with one hand, and I haven't met Forman today." She was looking straight to him but after eyes met he looked down again. He was searching for words, he doesn't know how to talk to her, when one moment she is yelling at him, and other moment she is acting so helpful. "- My medicine chest is on shelf's top.", he looked at her for a second and looked down again, now he felt even guilty, she came to help, and he is acting so unfriendly.
But she stay still, no move, like she was expecting for different answer, or maybe she wanted to say something else. "- I want to sorry about yelling.." ,she wanted to say something more but House stopped her , "- Don't be...You was right." He looked down feeling so pregnable.
Cuddy seemed feeling uncomfortable. Suddenly she looked down again, it supposed to be something huge. "- Lucas..", she said in low voice like she felt guilty, maybe she want to say something hurtful. "- Don't..", he gave her serious look to stop her."- No matter what you want to say, just don't.", he looked down again hopping that his look would be enough her to understand. "- But I just..", her voice was shaking, she couldn't understand why he doesn't want to listen to her. "- Don't , it's doesn't matter, whatever you want to say it won't made me feel better." He was looking at her with watery eyes and she felt so guilty of it. She hate herself of made him to suffer. He is jerk but even he doesn't deserve this.
"- I love you", she said in low soft voice, but he react different , "- Stop it.. I said that nothing what you would say couldn't make me feel better", he stopped for a second but not letting her to speak again. He just took deep breath and looked at her serious , "-That you love me but still staying with Lucas makes me feel even worse...Love means nothing when you not sharing." He looked down scaring to meet her eyes, he wasn't sure how she can react, maybe she will leave, maybe start crying or maybe she won't do anything.
She listened him frozen, hold her breath and locked in his eyes until he finally looked away, she didn't expect answer like this, but what else he could say, she said that she doesn't love and she does in same night, just couple hours distance.
"- Why do you think I'm staying with men I doesn't love?", she said in low voice looking at him and waiting to meet his eyes. "- Same reason you started", their eyes met, she could see desperate in his eyes but he was still forcing himself to talk. He wasn't sure why he decided to explain his theory, but there was no reason why he shouldn't. "- You need stability in your life, you need to act responsible, you are mother now, you have to think what the best for her. You want to feel lovable, you want to have men close to you, who would wait for you every day after work, who would help you with Rachel, who will support you, who won't hurt you.", he stopped for a second to take deep breath, "- And we both know that I'm not like that.." He finally looked down after this long eye contact. He couldn't manage her eyes anymore, with every word he said he felt worse and worse, feeling how pain and desperate coming back. When he look at her again his eyes was watery again, he squeezed pills in hand and look away again.
"- I guess you are right, but there is one problem", she stopped until their eyes met again, "- I ended it", he froze feeling speechless, doesn't know how to react, what to say, "- I left Lucas before coming there,.. I couldn't live like this anymore,..being with one men and thinking about other", she compress her lips, her eyes become watery, "- I just need to know if you and I can work", she look at him with hope, waiting his answer desperately, he look away, "- You think I can fix myself?", he took deep breath and look at her again waiting for answer. She shook her head, he looked so sad with those watery eyes, maybe he think that she made mistake leaving Lucas. She wanted him to stand up, to make a move, to do something, to show that he want to be with her, to kiss her.
They was looking at each other and her eyes become more and more watery, "- I don't know...all I know is just I love you", she stopped for a second to hold tears, "- I know I shouldn't.., but I can't help it ,and I need to try", her voice start shaking more and more, she almost could talk "- We need to try..", she compress her lips again, she felt so desperate, what she would do if he won't respond, if he won't make move.
He saw her watery eyes and couldn't stay still anymore, the woman he love, love him too and she want to give him a chance, chance to become happy, chance to love and be loved. He felt his pulse raising, his breath becoming more frequent . He extend his hand to her and she helped him to stand up. One step and he stand so close to her that he could hear her heart beating . His hands start shaking of wish to hold her, Their eyes locked, he took deep breath and start bending to her until he felt her breath, they closed their eyes and finally their lips met.
Sweet, soft and tasty kiss, like touching the sky, she lost in his lips, in his taste in his hands, felt like time stopped, like she start rising from ground. And suddenly he stopped the kiss, she couldn't say how long it was, but definitely too short. They opened their eyes and she saw scare and confuse in his eyes, what's wrong?, he look at her questioning, "- How do I know, I'm not hallucinating?", she doesn't know, but in his hallucination last year, they had moment in bathroom, she stopped him from taking drugs, and now he felt confuse, does he could hallucinate this conversation.
The smile came back to her face, she felt huge release, "- It could be possible if just you took a pill.", her voice sound too serious so he look at his hand, and he saw...two pills, same two pill. He didn't took it. "- Nope..", his eyes came back on her and she start smiling, "- Then I think we're okay", she said in low voice and start smiling widely, her beautiful smile melt his scared face, big release start him smiling. He was looking at the most beautiful smile in the world, at eyes deeper than ocean, at woman he love more than anything. He felt so happy like never before, couldn't believe that he is so lucky.
Woman he love was standing there close to him, in his hands and finally he could kiss her, HE COULD KISS HER. He took deep breath and blend again to kiss her, he closed his eyes and their lips met again, again he could feel this taste, taste like nothing else, taste of her soft lips.
His hands start shaking ,but now it was shaking differently, not cause pain, not cause afraid, but cause full happiness. He felt soft skin, her hand was barely touching his, he took her hand in his and hold, they squeezed soft palms and their fingers crossed. It wasn't simple kiss, it wasn't anything like one night stand, their hands mean more, them holding hands means the start, means THEM, means love, means relationship.
Next chapter would be how I imagine what could happened after that