Title: Before I let myself believe
Characters: House/Wilson (friendship)
PoV: House
Before I let myself believe
Are you so pathetic to forgive me yet again?
Believe me, it's not your forgiveness I'm trying to gain.
How much more will it take for you to see...?
Just better stay clear from this, from me.
After everything I've said and done...
Those awful things nobody could make undone.
After all the lies I've told to you,
Without any actually sane reason to.
The heaps and heaps of guilt I've thrown your way,
Just because you were THERE - and far too easy to blame
Without any second thought or shame -
Can't you see? - I've been using you. In every way...
You must be insane, to forgive me yet again..
(My had hurts, what do you believe I'm trying to gain?)
Just leave it be, just get the hell away,
I can't see what would make anybody stay.
What is it you see in me that I can't see?
Why don't you shy away from this mess that's me?
Or is that what everything's about, in the end?
Am I a broken thing, waiting, for you to mend?
If that is all what's been attracting you -
If that was actually all the allure -
Let me tell you: I'll make very sure,
that you'll fail at this, and miserably so.
It's maddening, what are you trying to gain?
You can't honestly mean to forgive me yet again
Just get away while I still can let you go.
Why aren't you running? I don't seem to get you..
I'm not going out of my way just to hurt you,
I just have to see how far I can push, though.
How far I can push this before it breaks,
Curios to see which last drop it takes.
If you have a breaking point: I hope it's near,
'cause I already don't know what to most fear:
To keep you, keep silent - and never know what's keeping you,
Or to have let you in, let myself hope - but being left by you.
Damn you, you can't just forgive me yet again,
(This makes me dizzy, what's there to gain?)
Please, just leave me be, just get the hell away,
Before I let myself believe that you'll really stay...
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Hey all,
Please feel free to point out the mistakes I made. Every constructive criticism is highly appreciated!