Hello, this is the beginning of our story.

Made by: Rachel Rape and Nigger Nicole.

Rated: G for all ages.

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"So cut my wrist and black my eyes, so I can fall asleep tonight, or die. You kill me." Edward was singing, and tears came out of his face. This was to depressing. To much memories!!

"Wasn't that a song?" Alice asked.

Edward was mad.

"No woman, I made it myself, fuck you." edward answered.

"I just heard it from some asain's iPod's list, you're the biggest liar I ever met." said Alice.

"You're the reason why you're parents are dead hahaha" Edward laughed at his own joke, what a loser.

Alice cocked her eyesbrows. "Your parents are dead too."

Edward looked down defeated.

"At least I can turn Jasper on." Edward mumbled after a while.

Alice looked down defeated.

"Hey guys whats up!?" Jasper said in the most GAYEST voice I ever heard, oh shit hahaha just imagine.

Alice started biting his nuts off if she couldn't turn him on. Blood splattered on her face but it didn't bother her because his blood smelled like old grandma dentures. It was quite disgusting.

Bella came in outta no where.

Bella was shocked and appalled.

"I am shocked and appalled!" she exclamed. No one cared, except for Edward of course because she has him like whipped.

Alice was done chewing Jasper's nuts off and was satisfied with herself because now Jasper can't have sex anymore, and then Jasper laughed at her because his nuts grew back. That's a good thing about vampires- genital areas grow fast.

"I wish dead people would be dead!" Alice started to cry and ran out of the house.

Everyone just shrugged, except for Bella now.

Bella was disgusted and hungry.

"I am disgusted and hungry!" Bella exclamed

"Yes my dear I will get you some food," Edward got up rapidly and ran into the kitchens. Bella smiled.

"Dayum woman I wish my girl did stuff for me!" Emmett said, looking at that Raunchy bitch Rosalie. "Getcho ass back in the kitchens!" Emmett screamed, and Rosalie gasped.

"I thought it was my break?" Rosalie asked, all covered in dirt and semen.

"Hellz to the no!" Emmett yelled, throwing her apron at her. "Now go make me sum fried chicken!"

She threw Renesmee out the window and Bella was mad and upset.

"I am mad and upset!!" Bella exclamed, and Edward went back to her side.

"Yes my dear what is wrong?" Edward asked

"Hey your suppose to be cooking me some food!" Bella yelled at him, and Edward went back into the kitchens, sad that he forgot his owners, I mean girlfriend, command.

It was about 20 minutes later and Bella fell asleep, and everyone except Edward was happy because that bitch is crazy.

Edward remembered that she was hungry and stuffed some mac and cheese in her mouth when she was sleeping.

She woke up, grossed out.

"I am grossed out!" she exclamed, "Whats this shit in my mouth?!"

"I..I thought you were hungry," Edward admitted, nervous. "Y..You said you were."

She gave him a stare. "I'm going to kill you one day."

She was getting up to kill him, but Rosalie bitch slapped her.

"Hey biatch you're not worthy enough to be here getcho ass back onto the corner." Emmett told her and she went running off, and Bella got to sad to beat anyone anymore.

"Where's Alice and Jasper?" Carlisle asked, outta no where.

Everyone looked at eachother, not knowing the answer. Except for Edward.

"They're in the backyard," he said.

Everyone went into the backyard and saw Alice and Jasper smoking some joints.

"Oh hellz no!!!" Emmett yelled, "They stole my booty!"

"You're a fucking vampire not a pirate," Bella corrected him.

Emmett just flipped her off.

"Oh yoo, lemme have some!" Emmett came closer to them, and stole Jasper's joint. Jasper just looked at him with the same old expression, as if he had any emotions right now, he was high!

"Is this nigga serious?" Jasper turned his head to Alice, who just shrugged.

"You don't say the N word," Renesmee said to them as they kicked her back into the forest.

"That hoe really need to die," Rosalie said,

Oh you know what? Fuck this. Rosalie is being a bitch.

"What?"

You heard me Rosalie, you're being completly erased from my story.

"No!!"

(Author erases Rosalie)

"Yayy!!" everyone said.
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END OF CHAPTER.

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