sometimes i see you in the mirror
Pairings: Teddy/James; slight Remus/Sirius
Disclaimer: Do not own. D:
Summary: It's in that moment when Teddy Lupin decides he's too much like his father. Some things just seem to run in the family.
He's fifteen when he finds it buried away in some box- Remus Lupin's personal belongings- that looks as if it, and the contents haphazardly thrown in, haven't been touched once in the fifteen years since his father's death. He's fifteen and curious and angry and frustrated and lonely- he doesn't know his mum, doesn't know his dad, hardly even knows himself- and he finally has a chance for some answers, answers he desperately needs. He devours the contents of the box- goes through every photograph, every letter, every note and scrap of paper, every forgotten and dust covered and packed away memory- as if it's the only thing keeping him alive, keeping him breathing. The meticulously painted words; the soft smiles; the quiet laughter tells him nothing, gives him no answers, but he's grown up lonely and just slightly bitter and his keen eye somehow picks up the buried sentiments; the blaring emotions delicately woven into the prose; the truths written between the lines. It's the same person, always the same person, in every photo, in every single note, in every bloody letter. He sees it in the way Remus Lupin's eyes linger, in the way he so painstakingly signs he's name with a loopy LOVE. He sees it- is so sure of it that he feels as if this is almost real; as if these memories aren't playing out before him as his father's but as his own. His suspicions are only confirmed when he comes across the old, tattered journal, written in that clear, strong handwriting that is unmistakably his fathers. The words written there burn into his eyes; into his mind; into his heart. His father was in love with a boy that treated him like a brother. His father was in love with his best friend.
He's fifteen when he finds the answer to the one question he never dared ask out loud. He thinks he finally knows his father. He feels as if he doesn't know himself.
He's nineteen when he learns that stupidly and foolishly and blindly falling head-over-heels in love seems to run in the Lupin family. He's nineteen and confused and hollow and furious, so very furious, because he's done something so undeniably stupid, so unforgivable, and he just wishes he would stop breathing. Somehow, somehow he's gone and made the same mistake his father had- he's gone and fallen in love with his best friend. He curses himself when his eyes linger for too long on the fifteen-year-old boy that treats him like a brother.
He's nineteen when he realizes he's in love with James Potter. It's in that moment Teddy Lupin decides he's too much like his father. And with a sigh, he squares of his shoulders to a long and painful, lonely life.
Just like, he's sure, his father once did.
-Finite Incantatem-