After shock
Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki, Tsuzuki…
I can't stop thinking about him… and I can't get the images out of my head! Oh God… As if Muraki showing up wasn't bad enough, Tsuzuki just collapsed! He's in pain, trying to move, to speak, to get back up, but I know he shouldn't, so I try to push him back down. He isn't resisting much. I could only stare in horror as he grasps his chest in utter pain, first making impressions in his shirt and skin, and then drawing blood. I try to pry his hand away, but it's almost stiff, like… it was unnatural, and it scared me half to death. What was happening to him? Pain in his arms, trouble breathing, body refusing to move… Oh, God, oh, God… my voice shook as I urged him to relax, but he kept trying to talk to me, but instead of words, he sputtered and droplets fell onto my shirt as he finally stopped moving.
"Someone help!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as people started to look, "Get me a cell phone, quick!" 'A cell phone?' I'm sure they were thinking, but it was his only option. An ambulance could probably revive, him, but it would raise too many questions. I never lifted my eyes from my silent and heavy partner, but as soon as I felt a phone land in my hand, I dialed Tatsumi.
"Tsuzuki, hold on… Hang in there! Please, Tsuzuki!"
Suddenly it's dark, and a moment later, blindingly bright. I recognize the ministry walls, the feel of the carpet as I'm running, but my eyes are only on Tsuzuki. Tatsumi got him here in record time, and Watari was here to meet us with a stretcher, but Tsu hadn't opened his eyes even once since he passed out, and the older guardians were yelling back and forth to each other, as if they were a world apart. Why were they yelling? Tsuzuki was okay, wasn't he? He was just overexerted, right? Why did they have to yell?
We practically broke through the doors to the infirmary and they transferred my partner to one of the beds. Immediately, Watari ripped open Tsuzuki's shirt and put an ear to his chest. He was still yelling, and Tatsumi had crossed the room and returned before I could even blink. Had I closed my eyes at all during that time? I was just standing there at the far end of the room, too afraid to take even a step closer to the bed where my quickly paling partner was laying.
"Tatsumi, charge the defibrillator, NOW!"
"It's charging!"
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God… I knew what was happening, and yet, I couldn't say it out loud. Tsuzuki was lying there, still as a board as Watari brought the paddles down. "Clear!" He shocked him. I'd never seen anyone whose heart had just plain stopped before, and the way Tsuzuki's body jolted up was almost sickening. Again and again, he shocked the brunette, but the monitor next to him didn't change. Finally, fed up with the useless machine, Watari tossed the shock pads away and started chest compressions.
"Tsuzuki, don't you dare give up on us like this! Come on… breathe!"
But I didn't stay around after that. No, it all became too much for me, and so I ran… hid myself away for three weeks with nothing but bile rising in my stomach and tears in my eyes. Tsu…. Tsu was-
--
Hisoka awoke in a cold sweat, eyes wide as saucers. It was still very early in the morning, but he just couldn't ignore his dream. No, his nightmare. And to think, it had all only concluded two weeks ago! Every morning, Hisoka awoke to those images and had to convince himself that everything had turned out okay, so he looked out through the darkness to his partner, sleeping in the bed next to his. It was because of the boy's night terrors, and other reasons, of course, that Tsuzuki had agreed to live with him. And what better way to bond? But honestly… he was afraid to let Tsuzuki out of his sight. He'd almost lost him a number of times, and he was not going to let the man slip through his fingers.
Blinking, the sandy-blonde waited for his eyes to adjust, and sure enough, he could faintly make out the rising and falling of the man's body. He was lying on his side facing away from him, but it was okay. Tsuzuki didn't care much for sleeping straight on his back- he said it made him feel grouchy in the morning. However, maybe that wasn't the only reason, seeing as Hisoka had been spoiling him ever since his full recovery from the heart attack. Despite the man's assurances, Hisoka wasted no effort in helping him out. He'd cook meals, clean up, help with paperwork… One would expect the normal Tsuzuki to be grateful beyond comprehension, but instead, Tsuzuki almost seemed… resistant. Of course, he appreciated the help, but he had also grown slightly more distant since the whole thing occurred, and he was changing.
Tsuzuki's appetite had decreased slightly, he didn't seem to sleep quite as long or well, which made him less perky during the day, and he was constantly blocking his emotions. Tsuzuki was keeping something from him… but what was it?