Summary: Narcissa remembers.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Must you rub it in? I own nothing. Nothing.
Notes: I must say, this is actually quite confusing, and much different from my other fics. You probably won't grasp the meaning of most things. I'm sorry. The writing may reflect bk's, I just read Red Summer of 19 and her writing is unique and just awesome, mad. The random tid-bits and italics are definitely influenced by her. Completely different story though.

I hate me. Stupid spelling.

Reminiscence

No words were said. You liked it this way.

The crestfallen mourners letting tears fall. You shed none.

The weather was bleak. No sunshine. No billowing white clouds. No black clouds promising to dump mountains of rain on you. Just gray.

He liked gray. You hate it. It reminds you.

Memories. Your memory is a horrendous thing, even when you forget, it doesn't. It reminds you at the most inopportune moments.

You clutch your wrist. No silver band. Your delicate fingers stretch to your left ring finger. No magnificent ring.

And you smile.

You're out of place. But you smile the most beautiful smile in the world.

You're free.

Freedom.

You daintily place your hand on your protruding hip bone. You wince.

You see red. Boom. An explosion. White. Black. Nothing. I'm so sorry.

Your smoky blue eyes snap back to the present. So sorry. You see the distinguishable blond head. So like your own. So like his.

You hear screams. Shrill. Cold. Blood-curdling. Goosebumps. Black. White. Red. Boom. An explosion. I'm so sorry.

You see the pearly eyes. So like his.

Gray. I'm so sorry.

You hear someone speaking. Once again your eyes snap back to the present.

You nod. You smile.

You don't know what you're smiling about.

You don't know why you're nodding.

You think its right.

You are getting cold.

Your blue eyes meet silver ones. So like his.

Ice. Darkness. White. Red. Boom. An explosion. Black. I'm so sorry.

Words. You hear words. They mean nothing. They are not true.

"We shall remember..."

Remember.

----

It is the spring of nineteen. White silk. White lace. White lilies. White. You shiver. Blue eyes meet gray ones. Blue is shimmering in happiness. Gray is shinning in ire. What have you done?

Flash.

Screaming. Your scream. Pain. White pain. Black pain. White pain. Pain. Your scream. Screaming.

Flash.

Mirror. You. Black. Blue. Red. White. Pain. What have you done?

Flash.

I'm so sorry.

More words. More tears.

You smile.

Your memory screams. Your memory. Your memory.

Tears. Your tears.

Your memory's fault.

Blue eyes meet gray ones. Blue shines with love. Gray shimmers in sympathy.

You need none.

You frown.

Gray eyes frown with you.

Love. Gray shimmers in love.

You smile. Your heart smiles. Your memory stops screaming.

Gray shimmers in love. So unlike his. So unlike his.

The summer of twenty. Gray. Gray. Gray. No white. No black. No red. Just gray.

Flash.

Screaming. White. Black. Red. Boom. An explosion. Red. Black. White. Screaming. I'm so sorry.

Flash.

What have you done?

Flash.

I'm so sorry.

Sun. Bright. Blinding.

You smile.

The crestfallen mourners let more tears drop. They leave.

You don't understand.

Blue eyes meet gray ones. Blue smiles. Gray laughs.

No memories. No memory. No.

God. I'm so sorry.