Surreptitious
Cabride Tryptich.
Christian watches despondently as Olli exchanges a few parting words with his brother. Luise is standing off to the side, and for an insane moment Christian loathes her for taking Gregor away from him. He fights the feeling, thinking of his twin Godchildren in her belly, and the fact that no one in Gregor's life has ever made him happier - but it doesn't help. Instead, he feels the envy twisting in his throat and curling his lip. His nieces or nephews, they will never know what it is to go hungry just so their ailing mother can have something to keep up her faded strength. And when they're grown, food will just be food – as it should be - instead of a matter of life or death like it was for Christian, until prison where he got his three squares a day.
Their father will always be there for them, and their uncle won't throw his wealth in their faces as they starve and scrimp and suffer. He turns his head away trying to get these crazy feelings under control, but pauses at Olli's throaty laughter. Christian is almost positive that they're talking about him, now, how he's so attached, "Gregor's biggest fan" Olli says. Olli doesn't know that there was a time, after Natalie and Ansgar left, that he was Gregor's only fan and friend. Who wanted to hang out with the poor blue -eyed boys from the wrong side of the river? Too skinny, too poor and too sad, he didn't blame them. Well, not anymore.
Olli gives Gregor one more hug and Christian almost doesn't want his boyfriend to climb into the cab. Because then, Christian will have to acknowledge that it's really over. That they're leaving Gregor here and that he'll be the last Mann in Düsseldorf, all the others dead or gone off to far flung places.
He looks down at his hands as Olli slides in. He refuses to watch Gregor fading into a speck behind him. It might make him completely lose it and he doesn't want his brother to think he's hopeless without him. Even though he is, just a little bit lost and lonely. But the door clicks shut and Olli's hand is in his, suddenly, and Christian looks into compassionate green.
"Alles ok?"
Olli's skin is soft in his palm and Christian slowly traces a fingertip along a prominent vein in the back of his white white hand.
"Not really." Christian acknowledges quietly.
"Want to talk about it?"
"No, thank you." He says softly. When he finally does look up Olli is still watching him, the corner of his lip raised in a tiny smirk. "What?" Christian asks, irritably.
"It's nothing Christian. Come here." Olli whispers, pulling Christian closer by his hand and wrapping a strong arm around him.
Christian leans into Olli's side, resting his head on the solid shoulder and he's absurdly grateful that they're not fighting today, and that Olli is big enough and strong enough to rest on. He throws his leg over Olli's thigh and fits his face into the sweet smelling curve of Olli's neck taking deep lung-fulls of his favorite scent.
"I'm going to miss him too, Christian. I know he was your brother but working with him this past year, I really got to know Gregor. At least, I understand why you're his biggest fan.
Olli's voice is vibrating under Christian's ear, and he smiles at the words. He loves that his brother and boyfriend are close and Olli doesn't need to tell him - though it's nice to hear. But it doesn't do anything to ease the doubt that's settled around him, the knowledge of impending solitude.
"He's got this whole other life now, Olli. You'll think I sound dumb but…"
"But what, schatz?" Olli's soft raspy tenor fills the cab, and Christian closes his eyes at the comfort of the sound.
"What if he forgets me? He doesn't need me anymore he has Louise, and his kids and a fucking castle."
"Christian don't be silly."
"No, I'm not. I know how it is Olli," Christian is agitated, and he breaks free of Olli's hold to look him in the face. "He'll visit once, maybe twice, then the visits will stop, and the phone calls will go from once a week to once a month then to birthdays and holidays- if EVEN that-, and then those will stop too until all I have left is a little picture in the box under my bed!"
His voice is hoarse and Olli is staring at him, brows furrowed in concern, and Christian hates that look because it dismantles him every time. He turns to watch the trees whipping by and he can still categorize a few, the way Justus taught him.
"Christian." Olli's hand is on his thigh, coaxing him to come back, and he knows he will. When had he ever been able to say no to Olli? He grasps the hand again marveling, as ever, at the warmth.
"Come here."
He turns, and Olli's hands have made their way to his face, thumbs grazing his cheekbones, and as usual Christian closes his eyes because it's dizzying, how good that always feels.
"Your brother loves you, you big oaf. And you know it." Christian lets himself be pulled in again, and Olli is whispering against his forehead.
"When we were talking out there, he was telling me how you used to take care of everyone when you were kids." Olli's hands are soothing in his hair, and Christian's leg finds its way back up over Olli's.
"He said it was nice, taking care of you for change, and even if you don't really need it, he wants me to look out for his kleiner bruder. because you're the only one he's got in the world."
"He said that?" Christian looks closely at Olli looking for signs of artifice, and finds none.
"He did." Olli kisses him gently, his mouth soft and smiling. "And I will."
They are kissing, unhurried and leisurely in the back of the cab, and for once ,Christian doesn't care that they're basically in public. Olli is so warm and good next to him, his lips so soft and Christian can't help but think of all the little noises Olli made in bed last night as they fucked, and it happens.
Christian doesn't know how it happens, he never does, and figures it must be Olli. He must be the reason they can go from sweet to not in no time at all, how they went from flat-mates to boyfriends in the space of a month. He is pressing more urgently into Olli, and his hand is wandering up along Olli's thigh to press against the bulge. He smiles when Olli gasps against his lips and pulls back.
"Baby, what are you doing?" Olli's voice is breathy already, just the way Christian likes and the clink- slide sound of Olli's belt buckle being undone is like music. He can tell Olli is confused, and so is he. He doesn't half understand it himself, he just knows there is need. There is need and there is Olli, and the two are never far apart.
He shifts to change positions and haul Olli half on top of him.
"What does it look like I'm doing, Olli?" Christian answers, and they both whimper as his fingertips graze the downy soft curls and move down, his hand wrapping protectively around Olli's semi-hard hot length. Olli bucks unwittingly into his hand and it sends a jolt of heat coursing through Christian and he starts to pull on the shaft in nice slow even strokes, that make Olli sigh, almost inaudibly, in pleasure.
"You're supposed to look out for me?" Christian asks quietly, flicking his tongue out to flutter against the feather soft skin of Olli's ear.
"Yeah." Olli answers and, God, he's spreading his legs wider and his voice has dropped in pitch and is trembling, driving Christian nuts.
"Good, this is how you do it, just like this."
Christian pauses for a moment spitting into his hand to ease it sliding up and down Olli's prick. He looks up for a moment, from Olli's gorgeous rose-flushed cock, and meets the driver's eyes in the rearview mirror.
"Eyes on the road, eh?" Christian says, twisting his hand on the upstroke and provoking an unintelligible stream of curses from Olli. He grins wickedly when the driver averts his eyes quickly.
Olli's ass muscles are working, his head is thrown back against Christian's shoulder, as Christian palms him faster and faster. His breath is coming out in short violent bursts, and Christian is fascinated by the silent little "ohs" formed by his too red lips. He slides his other hand in to tickle Olli's balls, and when Olli makes a choked, startled mewl of pleasure and rolls his hips against him, he has to think of horse breeds to keep himself from coming in his pants.
He can control this, control his and Olli's pleasure, and even as everything spins out of place around them, the trees outside the cab, Gregor's life spinning away from his own, and Olli dangerously spinning into Rob, this remains his and no one can take it away.
Olli is biting his lip to keep from making noise, but Christian puts an end to that when he slides his hand up to roll one of Olli's sensitive dusky nipples between his thumb and forefinger. It never fails, and Olli is thrusting into Christian's hand his not-so- quiet moans reverberating in the space of the cab. Olli rolls against him again as Christian's hand flies over his prick and it pushes Christian over the edge, the friction and the velvet sensation of Olli in his grip. He grunts and feels the gathered pressure at his groin pulsing out of him a moment before the skin of Olli's dick gets impossibly tight and he shouts Christian's name in agonized ecstasy, bathing the boxer hands in ropy white reams of cum.
Christian absently raises his hand to Olli's lips and his dick twitches with interest as Olli licks his own seed from Christian's fingers. He kisses Olli again, and is a little relieved that the tension is gone, that it's back to languid easy. And as far as he's concerned he could stay like this for the rest of the ride, sampling Olli's taste in Olli's own mouth. They're brought back to reality when the driver coughs to get their attention.
"You guys are fucking crazy if you think I'm not upping the fare for that shit. And you're paying the cleaning expenses."
"Yes sir, of course, we're sorry." Olli says quickly, when he tries to slide off Christian's lap, Christian holds him in place with soft kisses on his neck, eyes, face, anywhere he can reach.
"Mmm. Christian?"
"Hmmm?"
"You know, somehow… I don't think that is what your brother had in mind."
"No?" Christian asks nuzzling Olli's neck again
"No," Olli says laughing "But I hope to God I get to 'take care' of you again."
"Soon as we get home Schatz, as soon as we get home."And even it it means no more Gregor, even if he is the last Mann in Düsseldorf, home doesn't sound that bad at all.