Disclaimer. Don't own Victorious or any of it's characters. Original characters are mine. I make no money off of this.
Disclaimer two: Some characters may be OOC. This is a precaution, as I tend to follow a logic of their changes and situation. It is also possible that the characters will be in character.
:}
Jade was sitting in the VIP section of the awards show for the The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, or Oscars, and once again wondering why she bothered. The first Academy Award was supposed to be the thrill of a lifetime. Jade won her first two years ago, and found it, like fame and money and everything else she'd worked so hard for, didn't fill the empty feeling in her heart.
Once again she considered becoming another statistic, ending her life in some particularly gruesome way. 'But then Stanley would be out of a job, and I like him'. Stanley Mercer, her manager, had been a retired financial division police officer when she first hired him, neither of them thinking the job would amount to more then a few phone calls. Now it was eight years later, and she'd gone and delayed his pension. 'Who knew they had rules about how much you could earn?' She once again asked herself. Of course, he'd made a lot more working for her then he'd ever made as a cop.
Warm as that memory was, it didn't solve her immediate dilemma. Jade had considered all kinds of solutions to her problems, and each one had been shot down by Stan. He'd headed off her potential drug problem, as well as all the disastrous risks she'd intended to take. If Jade wasn't sneaky, he'd still be lecturing her about her self harm as well. It was the reason she'd studied pressure points. She could give herself pain without leaving marks.
As the her thoughts ghosted over that, Jade felt the need to hurt herself rising, and shifted her thoughts to remembering the last time she was happy. It was senior year, beginning of the first semester, and she and Beck were on yet another break. Only, this time, they never got back together. It was strange, the feeling of release she'd felt, thinking she was free, if only for a short while. Being with Beck was secure, but at times stifling. Jade had outgrown their relationship even as Beck's need for her had waned. It was just time.
Even then, as she pushed him away, as she felt the thrill of not having to live up to his expectations any more, she didn't believe they were done. Not deep inside. However, on the outside she'd wanted him to know the same feeling, to experiment, be out there, be free. So she told him he could date whomever he wanted, and he'd acted on it. She then remembered how quickly after that she'd heard he'd asked Tori out. It was like everyone wanted her to hear, just not be the one to tell her.
And she remembered how her heart broke when miss Sally sunshine agreed to go out with him. That was when she realized she would be the only single person in her group. People would talk, notice that even Robbie was dating Cat. And Beck, her champion, the man whom she never believed for a second would be with anyone else? He was with Tori. Jade had never felt so alone, or so betrayed.
But was she more hurt by Beck, or Tori, who'd sworn they were friends. Tori, who'd said she couldn't do 'That' to a friend, had gone and done just that. Jade hadn't given their friendship much thought, just assuming the Latina knew how much Jade respected her. Jade had assumed Tori was either too scared of her, or too determined to be her friend, to accept Beck's request. Instead, the singer had said yes, almost as soon as she'd heard that Beck was single. Another twist to the knife Jade had felt in her back.
All too quickly, Beck and Tori became the new power couple. Jade was still their friend, but it was uncomfortable for everyone, so Jade started giving them space. As the pain of losing her only two anchors grew, she started withdrawing. She was pulling away from anything that might make people think she was reacting to the new couple in any way. In the end, Jade graduated with her class, but no one who was there could be sure that she did. She'd disappeared into the background more then any shrugger.
The pain from that time had been immense. But instead of lashing out, Jade lashed inward, using work to escape the pain and loneliness. She'd landed a role in some made for TV movie that wasn't supposed to go anywhere, only for it to be used as a pilot and then the show would run for five seasons. Over the years, her role grew until she was one of the most important secondary characters. The money had paid for her education, a few nice things, as well as her nice Hollywood home.
Still needing to work, to control her pain, Jade kept busy around her programs filming schedule. When not shooting the show, Jade wrote, attended school (mostly) on line, and learned about film. A working actress, she made movies during every break the show took. By the time the show was candled, she'd worked her way up and was playing the lead in various movies.
She'd started in horror films, the easiest for her to find roles with her deeply intimidating nature, but used Independent movies to expand the roles she was seen as capable of playing. She even did a few action movies, because those were the most lucrative. But Jade didn't just act in movies. Using her growing knowledge and list of contacts, she produced and directed her first movie, a low budget slasher flick, immediately after graduating from collage. She hoped to make a nice profit.
And Jade made money. Stan understood investments far more then any man she'd ever met, often figuring out good possibilities during sales meetings for one of her scrips. With his wise investments, and some of the movies she produced making significant returns, Her net worth was over one hundred million. 'Ten percent of my wages for acting, directing, or anything else related to the field he helped me with. Man made some money.' Jade estimated he was worth over ten million himself. It brought a rare smile to her face, but only for a moment. Then she smile faded as she realized where she was.
Jade was seven and a half years out of high school, and up for her second, and potentially third, Oscar. And despite the money, the success, the fame and the people who loved her, Jade West was feeling like an empty shell of a person. Her 'Date' for the evening, some guy who's name she couldn't be bothered to remember, had shook her to get her attention, bringing her back in time to hear them announce the winner.
"And the Oscar for Best original story goes to Jade West, for 'Black Monday'." The presenter announced, giving the kind of practiced applause so common in those who get invited back to present again. Jade found her best smile, and went up to accept her second Academy Award, her first for writing.
Jade was giving a fairly good acceptance speech, but she wasn't there. The teleprompter was giving her the words, words she'd written earlier, and she was acting, following along. But inside she was miles away, lost in her darkening thoughts.
Jade was wondering 'What ever happened to them? To Beck, or Tori, or Cat, or Andre, or even Robbie.' They were supposed to be easy to follow, to keep up with their latest exploits. 'They were supposed to be famous, like me!' She thought. They were supposed to have their every move scrutinized by the paparazzi, like hers were. Only they weren't. She looked around the audience, hidden but the bright lights, as if somehow she'd see them sitting in the crowd. 'Where are they now?'
Only a couple came close to making it. Tori released one album, made a small profit. But it wasn't enough for her label, and they cut her. And Tori was the easiest to follow. None of the others made it, not even for a moment. Not even Andre, with his many contacts in the music business. So Jade was left wondering what had happened to the gang she'd know from school, the so called "Main people" who starred in all the plays and sang all the songs.
Jade was escorted off stage, all the while wanting to run. She knew it wouldn't help, someone was waiting. In this case it was her manager. Stan had gone backstage to check on her. "It looked like you were out of it there." He said to her. "Mind telling me why you phoned in this acceptance speech? Isn't it what you'd been working your whole life for?"
"It wasn't enough." Jade told her manager, speaking before she even knew what she was going to say. "None of them are enough." She looked at the older man, happy he was able to retire from the force after thirty years, so he was still relatively young. "I think I should go now." She told him.
"Jade, please, your still up for another award." Stan said, directing her towards her seat. "We'll talk about this afterwords, okay?"
Jade just nodded. She drifted to her seat, and to the guy who's name she didn't remember who she'd agreed to go with as a favor to someone. Her only thoughts about this guy was that if he got any ideas, tried to be more then a seat filler, she could bury him in the desert and not think twice about it. Her second thought was that maybe, just maybe, he'd do something and she could win the eternal gratitude of women everywhere. But those happy thoughts weren't enough to draw her away from the two other streams that pored through her, seemingly unconnected but both drawing more and more of her resolve to contain. All she seemed able to think about was why she wasn't happy, and wondering where her friends went.
She didn't win the other award, but it didn't matter. She knew that the best actress award was often given as a reward for years of good performances. Jade just hadn't put in the time to earn that one. But she wasn't out of the woods yet. Her movie was up for best motion picture. Jade was the lead, writer, and director of this movie. She really didn't expect to win anything, but the best writer was the one she'd told herself she was hoping for. It was supposed to validate her. 'I was always a writer first.' She reminded herself. 'This award doesn't matter.'
Jade was nearly crushed when another movie took home that award. Jade would have to be happy with the one Oscar she'd earned that night, as well as the award from two years ago. Most actresses, or writers, never get one. Jade managed to hold it together, past the paparazzi and the crowds, until she got in the car. Then she broke down and cried, hard.
Stanley joined her as soon as he could. In typical Hollywood style, the celebrities had to be seen arriving and leaving, while the nobodies who go to these shows didn't have to perform for the crowds. Stan and Marge, his wife, got into the limo a block away from the red carpet, to find Jade curled up in a corner crying her eyes out. Her date was sitting there, on his phone, ignoring her the way she'd ignored him.
Marge caught Jade in a big hug and comforted her as they drove off towards Jade's mansion. "It's okay. It just wasn't your year. But don't worry, you'll get them next time." She was whispering. Marge always was one to try and comfort her.
"Jade, I suspect we'll be staying the night. I'll have Cory prepare a room for us." Stan informed her. His concern was notable, with the statement more of a formality.
"I'll be fine." Jade managed to force out between sniffles.
"I'll believe that when I see you smile." The former police officer said. Jade gave him the best smile she was capable of, then broke down again.
"Dad was right, I'm worthless." Jade moaned. Stan and Marge marveled again at how damaged this girl could be. They both hated her father, and were thankful that he didn't want anything to do with his daughters world. Her mother was okay, but didn't add to her life. Marge said she should have done something to help Jade, while Stan blamed her for standing by, but Jade just forgave her for being human. It was easier for the goth to blame herself. Besides, Jade was too used to being on her own, while both her surrogate parental figures agreed she needed someone. Jade hadn't dated since high school. She wasn't even aware of them dropping off her date.
They arrived at Jade's home, and immediately Cory, the "groundskeeper", helped Stan carry Jade to her room. Once there, Marge went in to help the writer change into something to sleep in and remove her makeup. Stan took that time to go with the groundskeeper to put fresh sheets on their bed and get their sleepover gear out of the wardrobe trunk they kept at that house for when they needed to stay over. It held almost a months worth of supplies for the times they'd be staying for any length of time, or just needed a quick change of cloths.
Jade woke up later that night. She had trouble sleeping, again. The demons in her mind wouldn't let go, asking over and over 'Is that it?' As the emptiness gathered, taunting her with an unidentified but raw need, Jade dragged herself out of bed.
She needed something to do. She preferred to keep busy. Work dulled the pain, gave her goals. She'd kept telling herself that once she got somewhere, got enough, she'd feel it, feel the love of her audience, of the industry, and it would make up for the damage done by her parents.
But while she kept winning the love and respect of the industry, not to mention countless fans around the world, she didn't feel loved, or needed. Outside of the people who were spending the night in her home, she didn't have anyone who she believed would care if she just disappeared. No one loved her. Not the real her. Jade felt her stomach tighten, and wondered if she was going to be sick.
As usual, the pain lessened as she forced herself to relax. She needed to talk to Stan, but it was late. She figured it was better to let him sleep. Instead, she decided to go soak in her hot tub. It was the one luxury she allowed herself, still fantasizing about being made into soup, or boiling in some hot lava. Mostly these days, she tried to imagine what it was like before she was born, when her mother might have been thinking good thoughts about what this child would be. It was as much connection as she could find with the woman.
Jade put on her suit, and her robe. Taking a towel, she snuck down the stares and out the back door. Jade knew it was strange, sneaking through her own house to avoid waking people. But she liked Stan. Besides, sneaking in and out was second nature to her, from her time at home, with her parents. 'Wonder if this this place will ever be home?'
Of course, she had to turn on the tub and let it warm up. Her tub had an industrial heater and a small reserve store of hot water, so it could heat up in a short amount of time, unlike most tubs that would need hours. As she sat there waiting, she head a noise coming from Cory's apartment. 'Dude, it's after midnight.' She thought.
Jade didn't normally spy on her employes, but tonight she was curious. Cory enjoyed living the Hollywood lifestyle, and usually had no trouble talking some girl into spending the night. Jade closed the distance to listen. She heard the giggling through the window.
"You know the best part about working for miss West?" She heard Cory say. "All the perks."
"Oh my god." Giggled the girl. "DO YOU MEAN?" The girl asked, clearly impressed.
"Clean your mind, girl." He chided, laughing. "Jade's a cool boss, lets me use the pool, the hot tub, even bring girls over, but it's a professional relationship." He emphasized, still laughing. "Besides, she's almost like a sister to me." He added.
"Sister?" The girl asked, and Jade had no idea if the girl was amazed, stoned, or both.
"Yea, a sister." He repeated. "Just, you know, the big sister who pays me to clean her room and watch her stuff."
The girl laughed. "Do you think you could get her to say hi?" The girl asked in a flirty voice.
"I don't like to pressure her. I mean, she does so much for me as is." He started. Jade imagined that the girl must have been doing something to him, because he quickly changed his tune. "I could ask." He moaned. Then, seeming to gather some strength, he called out. "Jade, I saw you start the tub, and then you disappeared, so I'm guessing your outside. Want to meet Candy?"
Jade was mortified. Not sure what to do, she froze for a short eternity until the curtain slowly opened. "If it makes you feel better, I also checked the security cameras on my phone." He said from the other side of the window. Cory was wearing a towel, and the girl behind him was naked. "Mind if we join you in the tub? We were gonna soak anyways, but won't intrude."
"Put something on." Jade informed her employe. Jade was amazed at the strength in her voice. Then the writer walked back to her jacuzzi and checked to see if the water was at temperature yet. Jade then thought 'Does he screw in this tub?' She wished she had the time to change out the filters, the water, and maybe the tub itself. Despite that disgusting thought, she got into the tub, and hoped the protein levels were down.
Cory and Candy showed up twenty minutes later. Jade knew exactly what they'd been doing. "Yo, Cory, I was wondering, how clean is the water?" She asked.
"Filters pretty new, and the guy comes weekly for the pool. I'd imagine he does a good job here too." The groundskeeper said.
"But how clean is the water." Jade repeated.
Candy leaned over as she got into the pool, flashing her cleavage at Jade. "She's asking if you've had sex in the tub?' The girl asked, then giggled.
"Yea, a couple of times, but everything's super clean. I didn't want anyone accusing me of making a mess." Cory said. The young man, admittedly a year or two older then Jade, was good looking, with dirty blond hair and a surfers build. Tall, maybe six one, he had no trouble getting the ladies. And like so many people in Jade's life, she'd hired him because he was there.
Cory was a surfer and former street drug dealer, mostly selling to the surfers and the like. Jade met him while she was filming near the courthouse, and the two hit it off. He admitted, at the time, he didn't do drugs, just sold them for pocket cash, and she made him a deal. Work for her, never sell drugs again, and she'd let him live with her until he was on his feat. The irony was, at that time she was still in that crappy little apartment. He slept on her couch, and acted as her personal assistant, until she bought the house. Then, he appointed himself the groundskeeper. Jade's only complaint was that, now, he did drugs recreationally.
"So Jade, when did you get to be so sociable?" Cory asked.
"Life sucks, and I didn't want to be alone." She replied.
"Yea, it was a bummer when you didn't win any of those statues." Candy said, sounding sad. "Is there anything I can do to help ease the pain?" The girl reached for top, ready to remove it.
"Do you want to nail someone famous, or is this how you cheer people up?" Jade asked, her voice cold.
Candy could read the actresses body language, and kept her top on. Cory was laughing his ass off. "Jade, you're not normal." He managed to get out. Then, when he saw the glare the goth was giving him, he continued. "What I mean is, for normal people, they don't know how to deal with famous people. They, we, kinda want the rub of the fame, but not the responsibilities."
"So whats got you down?" Candy asked.
"I won, for best screenplay, and I still feel empty." Jade informed her. "It's like everything I've accomplished, everything I have, none of it matters." The others stayed quiet, allowing the writer to work through her stuff. "And I keep wondering about my friends, the ones from high school. They were almost as talented as I was." Jade looked up, watching the others watch her, and got the wrong message from their eyes. "Okay, some of them were as talented, maybe more so. But the point was, none of them made it. Not even Tori."
"Tori?" Candy asked.
"Not sure." Cory replied. "She doesn't talk about her past, and I never push."
"Tori?" Candy asked Jade. The groundskeeper almost lost it when she did.
"Tori Vega." Jade replied.
"Oh, I had her album." Candy said. "She was my first celebrity girl crush." When she saw the surprised look on Jade's face, she continued. "You were like my fifth. But anyways, yea, she did kinda just disappear."
"So this nostalgia, think it's telling you something?" Cory asked, eager to refocus on Jade's problem, and away from his date's.
"No." Jade admitted sadly. "It's just me, wondering what they were up to."
"You have money, right?" Candy asked. Cory once again almost face palmed. "Why not hire someone to find them."
"And then what?" Cory asked, recovering, and wondering at the suggestion.
"No, that's not a bad idea." Jade cut in, sounding excited. "Then I'd be able to know what they did with their lives."
"But that's not enough." The drunk girl added. "You need to talk to them, find out if their happy. That's what you want to know, right? Are they happy? Do they know what you don't? Maybe, just maybe, they might be able to hep you find what your missing."
"Don't have the time for that." Jade said. "But the finding them, that I like."
"So, marry, fuck, kill..." Candy started, and Jade rolled her eyes. The writer would spend another ten minutes with them before heading off to bed. She had a lot to get done in the morning.
:}
First chapter in another story I had lying around, incomplete. Hope that posting it will motivate me to finish it. Or at least break up the chapters. But for now, I have a few written, and will post them on Mondays.
Reviews. Do you like? Wanna know what Jade finds out? Did Beck marry Tori? Did Cat marry Robbie? Whats happened to them all? Who's happy? Who's not? Who got the raw end of the Bollywood Deal? Who else made it, if anyone? And, where are they now? Review, let me know if this is interesting to you. Is it worth my time to finish this and post the chapters?