Warning: This is my first only humour fic, and I'm nervous. I mean, what if it doesn't turn out well? Uh oh…..well, anyway, might as well give it a try.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Getbackers.
A/N: Non-yaoi. Read on, hope you like it!
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Tonsillitis
Some people used to say that Midou Ban's greatest weapon was his sharp tongue, rather than the Jagan or the Snake Bite. In all probability, they were right, because Ban was known for his snide comments. And they came in pretty handy while fighting some crook, because his remarks always unsettled him, and it led to a very easy victory. Therefore, this was solid proof that Ban's language was…unique.
It was a shame he couldn't use it now, because he had just gotten his tonsils removed.
He couldn't even remember why he had to get his tonsils removed. All he had felt was a small irritation at the back of his throat, and then he had had a coughing fit. Then he had difficulty in swallowing his food, and later, he had a headache. The next day, Ban had a fever. Needless to say, Ginji and the others were worried and Ban was taken to the hospital inspite of his protesting and violent flailings and threats. Not that any of it made any impact, because Ban wasn't able to speak. And his limbs were too tired to move.
Ban had a terrible time at the hospital. He was thrust into a chair, and the doctor had told him to open his mouth, 'real real wide'-Ban couldn't help feeling like a kid at that moment- and shoved his weird stick thing into Ban's throat. He pulled it out after a few seconds and took Ban's temperature. He looked at the thermometer, and put it away. He turned to look at Ban and Ginji, and then in a sober voice told the both of them that Ban would have to have a tonsillectomy.
Ginji almost had to electrocute Ban to stop him from running away from the clinic.
Well, the long and short of it was that Ban got his tonsils removed and was currently sitting in the Honky Tonk, sulking and unable to speak.
Ban hated not being able to talk. He had to listen instead, which was not something he was used to, because usually he was complaining about some terrible client or some really mindless psycho crook or Shido or boasting about how his fighting was wayyyy better than the Beastmaster's….
…You get the point. Ban talked. A LOT.
But right now, he was grudgingly listening to Ginji rambling about how wonderful a day it was because the sun was shining and birds were chirping and they didn't get fined for parking the wrong way and yadda yadda yadda…..
Ban looked at Natsumi, who was wiping a glass dry and listening to Ginji's speech. He cleared his throat and as a result, began to cough. Natsumi turned around to look at him, alarmed. 'Ban-san….?' Ginji, too, turned to look at his partner, slight worry in his eyes.
After a few seconds, Ban's coughing ceased and he tried gesturing that he wanted an ice cream sundae. Hey, he was entitled to it. But Natsumi didn't get it. After several tries, Ban had to write down the request and give it to Natsumi. She read it, and with a happy smile, assured Ban that she'd get it ready for him in a few seconds and went into the kitchen.
Paul, who was reading his newspaper and looked at Ban. 'You're gonna have to pay for that,' he said. Ban waved his hand in a way of saying 'Whatever' and went back to sulking.
Natsumi came back a few minutes later, a big bowl of ice cream in her hands and set it in front of Ban. He started on it in the manner of a man who had been refused food for a long period of time. Natsumi watched him for a second, amused, and went back to doing her waitressing duties.
A short while later, Shido dropped in with Emishi. Ginji waved at them and they sat down at the bar. Shido turned to look at Ban. 'Oi, Snake Boy,' he said, 'Bet you a thousand yen that HEVN gives today's job to me.' Ban just gave him a scathing look. Shido turned to speak to Ginji. 'What's wrong with him?' he asked. Ginji sighed and looked at Shido seriously. 'Ban-chan got his tonsils removed yesterday.'
Shido and Emishi looked at each other and burst out laughing. Ban threw both of them scathing looks. Emishi got up from his chair and went to Ban. 'You got your tonsils removed!' he said happily, 'You can't talk! That means I can talk and you can't do a single thing about it!'
Natsumi looked at the two a little sternly. 'You could be a little sympathetic,' she said, 'He's going through a lot of pain.' Ginji nodded in agreement, and Ban threw the both of them grateful looks. Shido, meanwhile, was looking at Natsumi incredulously. 'Pain? Him? Natsumi-san, the guy's getting free ice cream sundaes!' He threw a look at Ban. Ban just smirked at him and took a bite out of his sundae.
Emishi meanwhile, was still ecstatic that he could talk without Ban cutting him off in the middle. So he decided to poke some fun at Ban. He sat next to Ban, and smiled at him widely. Ban looked back at him, his eyebrow raised. Emishi's smiled wider. 'So, Ban-san,' he began, 'How does not smoking for one day feel?' Ban choked, realising that he wasn't allowed to smoke. But he needed to so bad…..
Shido noticed Ban's hand inching towards his pocket. Grinning, he took the packet of cigarettes out of Ban's pocket in one fluid motion and held it up. 'Don't even think about it, Snake Boy,' he said, 'You're not allowed to smoke.' Behind Shido, Ginji nodded. 'Doctor's orders, Ban-chan.' Ban scowled.
Emishi, now taking advantage of the fact that Ban couldn't talk, started speaking. 'I have a problem.' He said. You have many problems, thought Ban, despising the fact that he couldn't say it out loud. 'Every time I go up to a woman and ask her out, she hits me with her purse.' Not that surprising, Clown Boy, thought Ban, and then his spoon of ice cream stopped half way to his mouth.
Clown Boy. Clown Boy. Dammit! He had thought of a new 'nickname' to call Whip Man, but he couldn't use it! And if he used it when he got his voice back (Lord knows when that'll be), it wouldn't have given Ban the satisfaction that it would now, because it would have become old by then.
Ginji looked at Ban and could actually sense that he wanted to comment on Emishi's little 'problem'. He smiled. Heh.
Then Natsumi, who had gone to clean the store room with Paul a while ago, came out. 'Ban-san, Gin-chan, Master needs your help with lifting the cartons of flour and coffee,' she said, and went back in. Ginji got up, and followed Natsumi inside. Ban finished eating a spoonful of his sundae, and then sighed and went in, hoping that his bowl of ice cream wouldn't melt before he returned. That left Shido and Emishi alone. They looked at Ban's ice cream, then at each other, and smiled.
--
Ten minutes later…..
Ban and Ginji came out of the store room, followed by Natsumi, who was thanking them for their help. Ban turned around and smiled at her as if to say 'You're welcome' to her, and turned back in the front. Then he saw it. One empty bowl of ice cream, his empty bowl of ice cream, and two satisfied looking idiots, one of which was in desperate need of a bib. The other one was smirking at Ban. And that did it.
A vein throbbed in Ban's forehead. He could tolerate not being able to call Emishi names. He could tolerate Shido taking away his cigarettes from him. Well, barely. But what he could absolutely NOT tolerate was his precious ice cream sundae being eaten by two of the biggest idiots he had met. Ban's eyes narrowed.
--
Another ten minutes later….
Ban tucked into another sundae made by Natsumi. Beside him, a sweatdropping chibified Ginji was looking nervously at Shido and Emishi, unconcious and in their chibi forms, bound together by some rope that Ban had conjured from somewhere.
Natsumi looked warily and the unconcious pair. 'They will be alright, won't they?' she asked. Ban shrugged, not really caring. He had his bowl of ice cream, and he was happy.
Besides, just because Ban couldn't speak, it didn't mean he couldn't use his powers, right?
--THE END--
A /N:And that was my first non-romantic fic. I read over it again, and I thought, why not upload it?
It isn't that funny, but Ban not being able to talk is kinda unlike him, right? Well anyway, review please! I'd love to know what you thought of it.