Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back
Don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

Proposing to Kate was the easiest decision he'd ever made.

After years of lusting after her, he found himself falling in love with her, and now after a year of being together, there was nothing more that Richard Castle wanted more than to call Katherine Beckett his wife. After years of scratching and clawing, tearing and climbing the walls she so determinedly built up around herself, she had finally let him in. Or so he thought.

Castle had wanted to put a ring on Kate's finger years before. Somehow, deep down, he always knew after meeting Kate, that she was the one. He was just waiting on her to realize the same thing.

But it's been a year. They've been together a year and, despite a few rough patches, everything was going better than they had thought it would.

Or so he thought.

Castle always followed Beckett's lead. He knew his feelings for her were stronger than what she felt for him, so he held off on a lot of things. He let her initiate the romance, the touching. He let her set the pace for them. So when Kate started showing signs of really diving into this, really being there with him, he bought a ring.

He'd had it months before proposing. Only she hadn't known that. She thought it was a ploy to get her to stay.

After finding out about the job in D.C, Castle took it as an opportunity to let her know that he was committed to this relationship, whether she goes or stays; as pissed off as he was about her not telling him, a part of him understood. That's Kate. She does things like that. But it still hurt, still made him feel like he didn't matter as much as the job. But despite all that, he was willing to stand by her.

Because that's who Kate is. But he loves her, and he's willing to wait.

So when he knelt on one knee at the park and asked her to marry him, he knew there was a possibility that she would reject him.

But he did it any way, and he hoped for the best.

"Castle, not now. Not like this."

It wasn't a no, so he had to be optimistic in the moment, because afterwards she told him that she accepted the job and would be leaving in a couple of days. And that hope Castle was holding on to was slowly getting harder to grasp.

And so now he sits alone in his loft, his mother off doing a play in the city, his daughter off in Costa Rica, and Kate...was in D.C.

He'd never felt more alone in his life, but that hope was still in reach and he was going to continue to grab for it until it was too far away.

It's only been a few days since Kate packed up the few things she kept at the loft and left to fully pack up her own apartment.

He remembers how she slowly made her way around his room, lingering a little longer than she wanted to. Because as much as she was going to miss him, miss them, she was too excited about this job. She'd worked her whole life to get here, and she wasn't going to lose the chance.

Castle had offered to go with her, but she wouldn't allow it. Wouldn't allow him to leave his family for her, and he understood.

He offered to fly in and see her when she was available, but was shut down with, "I won't ever really have time to myself, Castle. But I'll call."

She wasn't saying the words directly, but Castle knew this was the end, and he was preparing to say goodbye.

"I'll be here." Was the last thing he said to her before she left his loft, and seemingly left his life.

So, it's been days without a word from Kate. He wants to call and check in so badly, his fingers twitch to press the call button, but he won't do it. Because he's still letting her lead, still letting her figure this all out. And he'll wait. Because this is who she is.

And as much as he misses her, as much as he wants her right here next to him, he's glad she took the job. She deserves it and it makes her happy. And that's all Castle wants for her, even if it's not being happy with him.

So he's willing to wait, willing to let his heart get broken, because she's Kate, and he loves her.