Hi Everyone, I'm back with a new story! If you are already one of my readers A Night To Remember is being put on hold. If you are new to my stories, I hope you enjoy!
Good Reading Everyone!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Summary: One break from school later, and Sasuke's life is in a jumble. He's not sure how to feel. Is Itachi messing with him? Does he know what hurts and plagues his mind every day? AU. Itasasu. Uchihacest.
Dear Itachi: Chapter 1: This Letter is very Important
Sasuke laughed at himself in the mirror. Was he crazy? Surely it wasn't normal to think this way. To think everything through, both the ups and down, yet still be a pessimist? Was it normal to get anxious and nervous while sitting in a car, even if it wasn't moving? Was it normal to love the rain and clouds and hate the sun and its warmth? None of it could be normal, yet it all could be at the same time. He didn't know what to believe anymore. He didn't know who to trust. He really was going crazy, wasn't he?
He had a sudden urge to just break the mirror in front of him, why? Because he wanted to, he wanted to see it shatter. The mirror was a reflection of himself, and through it he could see through the mask he wore. Breaking the mirror would be like breaking his mask. He so badly wanted it to break. And yet, he did not break it, he couldn't. Doing that would attract attention, which was the worst thing possible in his mind.
Sasuke sighed. He lived a normal life, with a normal family, so why wasn't he happy? He acted happy, in front of those who needed him. Acting like nothing was wrong was like an autopilot for him, and he couldn't turn it off even if he wanted to. Truth be told, he was jealous of other people. How they were blind to all the things that could possibly go wrong, why couldn't he be like that? Why couldn't he just live happily and normally? Why couldn't he be who he truly was?
He had to be alone, because that's how he felt. He was lonely, almost to the point where it crushed him. Was that what was making him crazy? The people he called his friends, why couldn't he laugh with them? Why did they never invite him places? It was always the same with them, he would always find out that they had hung out, yet did no one ever think he might like to come? No, they didn't. Was he just a bad person? Was that why they never invited him? Was there something wrong with him? Well, there had to be if they ignored him like they do.
Or maybe it was because of his parents? And all the chores he had to do each day? Or the fact that if he stayed the night somewhere, he had to be home by eight the next morning? Rules his parents had placed on him, which he had no way of getting around.
There were so many questions, yet no one there to answer them.
He felt like he wanted to die all the time, and yet he knew it was stupid to think about that. He lived for his family and all the other people that needed him, not for himself, because if he did, then he would be long gone by now. He wanted to die, and yet, he still wanted to live. He hated his life, but still carried on with it. Why? Anything can change at any time. And that made there be no reason to die, especially if he was scared of doing so anyway.
There were no words to describe how scared he was each day. He thought of himself as crazy for it. He was scared of riding in a car, boat, plane, or bus. If he could walk everywhere, he would have. And yet, the very idea of walking everywhere and the possibility of getting hit by a car, kidnapped, raped, or robbed scared him. The fact that you could have a car crash, a boat blow up, a plane highjacked, or a bus tip over scared him. The anxiety and nervousness was there always, he even suffered from anxiety attacks. There was nothing he could do about it either, even talking to himself didn't work. Even thinking of the fact that someone was always there with him didn't work.
A sudden knock to the door had him snapping out of his thoughts. He turned to it and opened it swiftly.
"The potatoes are boiling over." Itachi said, watching his little brother. He could see right through him, right through that little mask he wore. Why his brother bothered to do such a thing was beyond him, but who was he to judge when he was doing the exact same thing?
"Dammit." Sasuke said, rushing past Itachi and heading down the hall.
"If you want to break the mirror, why don't you just do it already?"Itachi whispered before disappearing. It was something he felt he had to say. Then again, he just liked to tease his brother, and see that shocked expression on his face.
Sasuke froze and turned around; he ended up looking back at an empty hallway. He could have sworn he heard Itachi say whisper… that. Maybe he really was losing his mind? The sound of the pan spilling its starchy contents onto the stove caught his ears and he made his way back to the kitchen.
This was something he normally did. He cooked dinner for the entire family every night, as well as did the dishes and cleaned up the entire kitchen. It was his chore. And every morning on Saturdays, at about six o'clock, his mother would wake him up and they would go to the store for grocery shopping.
Why she liked shopping at such an early hour, he could not seem to grasp. She always said it was to beat the crowd, and so that you can get through the aisles without having to wait on anybody. Was she impatient or something? He just never could seem to grasp the idea. Then again, the thought of being in an overcrowded store where everyone could see you, did bother him.
His mother always wanted dinner on the table by the time she got home, which was about five o'clock in the evening. And he always made sure it was there, fresh, hot, and ready to eat.
His father would get home sometime after his mother, and Sasuke would heat up his plate of food and fix him a drink. Sasuke did everything his father asked him to do, whether it was to simply take out the trash, or go check the mail.
He never could defy him. Not even if he wanted to, which was something he had put previous thought to.
Sasuke sighed; he had just finished mashing the potatoes the second his mother walked in the door. Steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, and corn were on the menu for tonight. He watched his mother put her purse on the back of the chair in the dining room and take a seat.
"Hungry?" He asked.
She nodded.
Sasuke smiled and turned around. He fixed his father a plate and stuck it up in the microwave so that it would be ready for when he got home. And fixed his mother a plate, he set it down in front of her.
"Looks delicious." She commented, "You know, your skills are improving."
For some reason or another that made Sasuke happy. It always seemed to make him happy when he pleased another person. "Thanks." Sasuke said. "I'll go tell Itachi that it's ready."
"No need." Itachi said from over by the stove, already fixing himself a plate.
"Oh," Sasuke said, "How did you know it was ready?"
"I could smell it." Itachi said, setting his plate down and fixing himself a drink before sitting down at the table. Of course he would never tell Sasuke that he had been standing there watching him and Sasuke hadn't even noticed.
"Can I have a drink?" Mikoto, their mom, asked.
Sasuke nodded and fixed her a drink, he set in down in front of her and then proceeded to fix himself a plate.
This was how it always went, everyday of the week. Except the weekends, their mother cooked then. It was like a routine for Sasuke; he would go to school, come home and mess around on the computer or do something else until it was time to fix dinner. Then he would fix dinner and serve the food, wait until their father came home to give him his, after that it was time to do the dishes and clean the kitchen. And once everything was clean and put away, he was free to do as he pleased around the house. Be it him doing his homework, taking a shower, or messing around on the computer again.
It was a tiring routine for him. He wished it would stop. Yet, it was his life, and there was no changing that. Sometimes though, he really whished something would come into it, or change. But it never happened, it was all the same.
For some reason at that instant, as he sat at the table staring down at his plate, Itachi on his right side, their mom on his left, he thought that finishing his food would be like finishing the rest of his night normally. Which he was going to do, whether he wanted to or not. He wanted nothing more that to just shove the rest of his food away and shove the rest of this normality with it. He didn't like the way it was, yet he was perfectly fine with it. There was nothing he could do, and so he finished the rest of his plate.
S~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~S
Sasuke sat at one of the cafeteria tables, awaiting his friends as he normally did. How he found himself here this morning already was something he did not quite remember. He watched the motions of the other students walk by him, some cast a glance his way, but nothing more.
Naturally no one wanted to talk to him.
Of course, there was that group of girls that sat at the table across from him, always watching. But that was a different story.
Sasuke completely tensed when he felt arms wrap around his shoulders, he turned his head to look behind him and found that it was Itachi. "You didn't give me a hug this morning." Itachi said.
"I didn't?" Sasuke asked. How could he have forgotten to give Itachi a good morning hug? That was something he had always done ever since he was younger, and it was his favorite part of the morning.
"Nope."
"Itachi, hurry up!" One of Itachi friends said.
Itachi stood back up and turned to give his friends a look before turning back to Sasuke.
Sasuke shuffled in his bag a moment, "Here," He pulled out a sealed envelope with Itachi's name written on it. "This was left on the table for you this morning. You didn't see it so I grabbed it for you."
Itachi took the envelope and opened it; he skimmed it a moment before glancing over at his friends. He stuffed the envelope into his bag and said, "I've got to get back to them."
Sasuke watched Itachi for a moment. Itachi's friends never seemed to leave him behind, it always seemed like Itachi was invited to places with them. Unlike with him and his friends. But, Sasuke had to wonder, "Do they really know you?" He whispered.
Itachi ruffled Sasuke's hair before saying "See you," and heading back over to his awaiting group. Sasuke's whispered words following him like a lost puppy. Of course his friends knew him, but did they really know him? Not hardly. No one really knew him, not even Sasuke. He had always kept himself secret. If he didn't, the very foundation itself would fall apart.
Itachi didn't let anyone near him, because if he did, it would only hurt more when they turned on him. Whether Itachi showed it or not, he was really a sensitive person, and he knew Sasuke was the same way. Yet, they were both too generous to burden other people with their own problems. So every time something happened, it would just be bottled up and saved for later.
Itachi cast one glance back at Sasuke before leaving the cafeteria with his friends.
The world really was a cruel place, and both Sasuke and Itachi wondered, how many of their friends were wearing masks too?
Sasuke thought back for a brief moment on what Itachi had said the night before. "If you want to break the mirror, why don't you just do it already?" He wondered to himself what would happen if he really did consider doing such a thing, but then he decided not to think about it anymore.
In the future, when Sasuke looked back on it, he would realize that those were the words that would have started it all. But for now, he looked ahead at his "friends" as they approached him.
S~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~s~S
Itachi pulled the letter from his backpack and crumpled it in his pocket. It had been from his uncle. His sadistic uncle, who was coming to "visit" them in three weeks. Anger boiled inside Itachi, he needed to devise a plan. Something to protect Sasuke and his fragile mind from something he knew the boy couldn't comprehend. Itachi was too absorbed in his thoughts to notice that he stopped and his friends had stepped away from him. He just stood there, thinking until Kisame brought him out of his stupor by saying,
"Whoa. You've got some serious anger rolling off you. What has your panties in a knot?"
Itachi looked up at him through shaded eyes, "My uncle is coming to visit soon."
All of his friends froze and a look of understanding crossed their faces.
"I need a plan." Itachi said just as a warning bell rang, signaling class was going to start soon.
Soooo...um...how was this?
Review please! So I know whether or not to continue with this one~
~Writes-With-Pens