Wow. I haven't written anything in a looong time. So here's a quickie I made to get my creative juices flowing again! I don't own anything in this story. Except for the story itself. Because I wrote it. And therefore it is mine. And not yours.

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An empty silence permeated the area. Just the way he liked it. Summer vacation had taken its toll on the garden; only a few SeeD members who had work to do remained inside. And by a few SeeD members, we mean Squall and his posse of FF8 characters. Because that is what this story is about.

"Squaaaall, I'm boooooored!"

"Go drown in a sandbox."

The head SeeD was not in a good mood. Truth is, he had nothing to do. That was the reason he stayed at the garden. The problem, is that everyone else stayed behind. Even Selphie. Because nobody liked Selphie. "Meanie," chirped the short-haired brunette.

"Did you hear what I said? Take your train fetish and go drown in a sandbox," replied everyone's favorite silent protagonist who isn't really silent at all.

BANG! A horrid noise rang through the halls. A tall, blonde man with ridiculous face paint ran towards Squall and Selphie, his face turning a dark shade of blue. Squall sighed. And punched the man in the stomach as he approached. The man promptly spit out a hot dog.

"Eeeeew!" cried Selphie.

"Dammit, Selphie! Go drown in a sandbox!" Zell replied, angry. He apparently forgot that he was just choking on meat of unknown origin. Squall sighed again.

"What are you doing, Zell?" Squall asked.

"I should ask you the same thing!", the blonde man replied.

"I'm standing here. With Selphie. Because I have nothing to do. Why are you here, chicken-wuss?"

"Isn't that Seifer's line?"

"Yeah. It is," said a mysterious voice. From out of the shadows, another blonde-haired man wearing a white trenchcoat appears. "Chicken-wuss." Selphie's eyes widened upon his arrival.

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god Seifer!" she squealed. Seifer slowly turned to face her. With his left hand, he reached into his left pocket. A moment later, he removed his hand, and threw a fistful of sand into Selphie's face.

"Drown!" he screamed.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang, and a puff of smoke. When the smoke cleared, Ultimecia stood before the group, in all her sexy glory. Squall immediately turned to her, and smiled.

"Hi, Rinoa. Haven't seen you since, well, you know."

"Yeah. I've been busy. Doing stuff."

And all of a sudden, the building shook. Violently. The tremor intensified after a few moments, and then all motion stopped. Zell was the first to speak.

"What the hell was th-"

Before he could finish his sentence, there was a loud crash as a man fell from the ceiling. The man had short black hair, and wore a white karate gi with a black belt wrapped tightly around his waste. He wore no shoes.

"Who the hell are you?" Seifer asked, in an angry tone.

The strange man crossed his arms.

"Boku wa seiken no kami-sama desu; Segata Sanshiro!"

With that, a chorus of voices with unseen bodies began to chant and sing his name.

SE-GA-TA SAN-SHI-RO! SE-GA-TA SAN-SHI-RO!

With a series of lightning-quick punches and kicks, the entirety of Balamb Garden exploded in a horribly violent fashion. Everybody died. And I do mean everybody. Even people who weren't actually in or anywhere near the garden. Especially Selphie. She drowned in a nearby sandbox. And was also run over by a conveniently located train. Which was driven by Segata Sanshiro.

THE END.