Outline: This is a collection of "missing moments" based on the development of the relationship between Han and Leia. Every chapter can be considered a separate issue, so you just have to choose your favourite moment!
What have the screen players kept hidden from us in the trilogy about Ord Mantell? What has truly happened between Han and Leia?
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, but are George Lucas's property; this story hasn't been written for profit.
CHAPTER 3: Ord Mantell
She felt like her head was blowing up, like a huge hand had decided to squeeze it to make every trace of thought come out. A piercing pain crossed it from one temple to the other and she barely remembered her identity.
I am Leia, Leia Organa.
But where am I? What happened to me?
For a moment, from the darkness, Darth Vader's face emerged and she wriggled, panic-stricken, trying to escape from that horrible vision.
No, I don't want to go back to the Death Star, I don't want to undergo his tortures anymore… I escaped from there, I'm sure about that…
Suddenly the black mask of Darth Vader turned into the white one of an Imperial soldier and the evil grin of the Lord of the Sith got replaced by a shining smile surrounded by eyes blue as the sea.
Luke Skywalker…
The boy, who rushed to save her guided by a mysterious instinct, wasn't alone. With him there was his Jedi Master, a brave Corellian smuggler and his faithful hairy copilot.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, Han Solo, Chewbacca…
Names and people were beginning to find the right placing. She still couldn't remember what had happened in the recent past and, most of all, what had provoked that terrible headache of hers.
Gritting her teeth, she tried to concentrate, even if the stabbing pain made it very difficult for her to relax and focus her attention on something else. After some minutes the fog that was clutching her memories started to disperse and finally some flashbacks of the last days peeped out.
xxx
As a first thing, she remembered the embarrassment she had felt at seeing her reflection in the dressing room of an unknown shop of Ord Mantell. Initially the idea of dressing up as a high-class prostitute hadn't seemed that bad – always better than being captured by one of the many bounty killers on their trail – but still it had been Han's idea and she had to expect a rip-off somewhere!
«Princess, is that really you?!» Han started to go round her, pleasantly attracted by what the scanty dress half revealed. «I must admit that, dressed up like this, you're definitely putting me through the mill! New and interesting perspectives are opening in front of my eyes… » His gaze was caressing her from head to toe and it was so intense that she could almost feel it on her skin, like the touch of a hand gentle and carving at the same time.
«I warn you that from today my fantasies about you will be unbounded.» He continued with a deliberately lower and more knowing tone.
«Stay with your feet on Earth flyboy and try not to make me regret having listened to you!»
Even if showing herself as testy as usual, she felt deeply upset. That disguise had started a dangerous game of seduction and, in that moment, all the bandits of Ord Mantell worried her far less than the careful scrutinizing of Han Solo.
«Don't worry, everything's under control. The important thing is that you don't go too far away from me… you know that I'm very jealous of my goods.» The usual cheeky smile appeared on the smuggler's face, and that had an effect far from relaxing.
«Don't worry, your goods can take care of themselves!» She muttered, going with a quick step towards the desk of the shop. That man always managed to make her do the most absurd things passing them off as reasonable. She couldn't tell if that could be considered as a merit or a lack, but she had certainly never met anyone capable of making her feel like that before him.
xxx
The second flashback saw her engaged in the task or renting a room in the worst motel of the planet. She had backed Han that time too, but immediately after having passed through the hall of the place she had mentally cursed herself for having let him drag her in that farce.
A small neon, hanging on the ceiling by a simple iron thread, represented the only source of light inside the reception. After a few steps she got hit by the musty smell, a sign that the air and the sun light hadn't entered in there for a while, in addition to a strong stink of urine, probably coming from the evident large stain in the corner on the right side of the door. Soon she understood that it was better to look around as little as possible and she thought that, after all, the scarce illumination was a valid help in order not to puke before reaching the desk.
Holding her breath she approached the concierge, gently asking if she had any free rooms and paying in advance the money for the deposit.
The woman carefully looked her up and down. «You're new to the job, aren't you?» She seemed to have a certain experience in the sector and had immediately noticed her bewildered gaze.
«Yes.» She shyly answered, not anxious at all to linger on a conversation about that.
«Obviously.» The other nodded in a way of who knows a lot. «Your eyes are still showing a certain curiosity. So many must have told you about what happens in places like this… You're not sure of what's expecting you, but after all you're still hoping that for you destiny may be better than what they've told you.»
That's all I needed…the nosy philosopher! She thought, waiting resigned for the other to give her the key of the room without making comments.
«Blissful youth!» The other continued. «No, I don't want to scare you, obviously. If you've chosen this path you surely must have your reasons, but I only hope that you haven't deluded yourself.» Coming closer with her face she added: «The most important thing is to know how to choose the right clients. Sure, you'll make a lot of mistakes at the beginning, but you'll learn to recognize who's to be avoided and who's to be looked for…»
Han had remained outside of the motel talking with a sinister guy and had left her the money for the room. She had been forced to grin and bear it, but her patience was quickly running short and she wondered why he was taking that long to come back! The concierge in the meanwhile was keeping on fiddling with the keys and all the times she seemed on the verge of giving them to her she reversed, taken by the uncontrollable necessity to give her some new advice.
«Since you look like a sharp one I'll give you some tips: whether he's rich or poor the important thing is that he is quite good! You need one who's just looking for fun and who doesn't vent all his frustrations on you. Life already has too many problems without the need of bearing those of the others too.»
When she had finally started to seriously think about ripping the keys from her hand in order to put an end to that useless dialogue, the woman stopped suddenly, gaping.
She followed her gaze and, with amazement, she understood that the reason for such a reaction was Han, who was entering the reception of the motel in that moment.
«That… that is your client?» The woman stammered, looking at Han like he was a supernatural being.
«Yes, why?» She couldn't understand the reason of such ecstasy.
«A Corellian…» The concierge answered with a dreamy air. «Well! You're a lucky girl!» She exclaimed before going back to meet her gaze.
«What do you mean?» By then she didn't know what else to expect.
«Well, I think you'll find out soon... You have what's best on the market!» She whispered in a knowing way as she finally gave her the keys. «Tomorrow morning you'll tell me if I was wrong or not.
«Goodnight madam.» She hurried to say before grabbing Han's arm, dragging him to the room almost forcefully.
He didn't protested much, quite the contrary, he was shocked by that sudden urgency.
«Hey sweetheart, calm down! I'm at your disposal all night long, I didn't think you were so eager…»
«The sooner we get away from that woman, the better… I've already bitterly regretted having listened to you!» As she pushed him she threw some glances behind her, in order to make sure that she couldn't be heard by the concierge anymore.
«But what did she say that upset you so much? I've stayed outside just for a few minutes…»
"A Corellian… you're a lucky girl!"
She had understood all too well the lady's indelicate hint and she angrily shook her head in order to send away the fantasy that that stupid sentence had unintentionally triggered.
«The least said the better!» She answered in a harsh tone as she tried not to further stimulate Han's curiosity.
xxx
«These rooms aren't controlled, are they? What if there are cameras or microphones somewhere?» She didn't feel safe at all and had the terror of being recognized and publicly derided in front of the entire Galaxy.
Dressed up as a prostitute, in the room of a motel, accompanied by Han Solo…
I couldn't fall lower in the public opinion!
«The clients of the motels like to remain anonymous, it's in nobody's interest to place spies in here.» Han didn't seem worried at all.
«It may be, but I'd rather check… unlike you I have a certain reputation to defend!»
«On the contrary, you're wrong, I have a reputation to defend too…» Like it often happened, when he couldn't calm her in any other way, then he tried to take her attention away, by teasing her with his jokes. «Sure, if anyone around knew that I will spend the night on the floor besides your bed, it certainly wouldn't be good for my image!»
«Sometimes you surprise me with your perspicacity. The floor was the exact placing I had thought for you.»
«Besides my perspicacity, I could surprise you with many other qualities of mine, in case you had a hard time falling asleep… Don't you see how lucky you are?»
«Sure! The concierge has just pointed it out to me...» But she stopped abruptly as she realized that she was going to tell him what he absolutely didn't have to know.
Too late! She thought at seeing him smiling slyly.
«I'm very tired… goodnight.» In order to hide the violent blush which was covering her face, she hurried to turn off the light while he was still fixing his blankets on the floor.
«Goodnight.» He answered grinning and continuing what he was doing by groping his way.
After some minutes, her view got used to the darkness and she started at seeing Han taking off his shirt and getting ready to do the same with his pants.
«What the hell are you doing?»
«I'm taking off my clothes, why?»
«Are you insane?! What if there is the necessity to escape all of a sudden? What will you do, run away in your underwear?»
«It wouldn't be the first time… Anyway, if it upsets you so much, I'll keep my pants on, alright?»
«Argh! Do what you want!» Exasperated, she yanked all the blankets and turned the other way.
He waited for silence to return then blissfully commented: «It's not my fault if I'm a Corellian... and anyway we're not all like that…»
If she had some doubts before, now she was sure that he had fully caught the nature of her conversation with the concierge, regarding certain topics he was unbelievably sharp.
This time though she wouldn't fall in his trap so, even if she was curious to find out more details about that, she just said: «Han? I don't think I want to know more about it. Goodnight again!»
«Goodnight, princess.»
Even without the light, she could imagine his pleased grin and, feeling frustrated because of the situation, she threw him one of her two pillows before definitely going to sleep.
xxx
«No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can't possibly...»
«Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration. But don't worry. We will deal with your Rebel friends soon enough.»
«No… What does Alderaan have to do with all this?! Aldeeraaan… NOOO!»
Sitting on the bed, she had screamed out loud her last and desperate plea to General Tarkin. She still had the image of that horrible explosion in her eyes, of her native planet reduced to a cloud of asteroids, of all the innocent lives broken within an instant and of the suffering face of her father which grew far and far away. She often relived that nightmare in the solitude of her nights and she suffered, shedding silent tears until the day returned to fill her life with colors, banishing that huge sense of emptiness in the most hidden part of her soul.
By then she was used to that dream and she knew that she would've spent the rest of the night self-accusing herself in front of the most merciless of courts: her own self. She felt guilty for what had happened and she had imagined a different final thousands of times, but it hadn't been useful in order to lighten the pain of that loss.
That night, though, it was different… that night she wasn't alone.
Still feeling her heart beating in her throat, she realized that Han wasn't lying down on the floor anymore, but he was sitting beside her, on the bed, and he had gently encircled her with his arms. She felt vulnerable and felt a bit ashamed for having shown him, of all people, her weakest part. She feared that he would take advantage of that in order to make fun of her, but she was surprised at seeing his serious and worried look.
«I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you up.» She could hardly talk and her breathing was still ragged.
«It was terrible, wasn't it?» Han knew the weight that she brought inside of her and didn't need many explanations. She just nodded lowering her gaze.
«Do you have this nightmare often?»
«Sometimes… But it doesn't matter, it's passed now.» She gathered the blankets that she had thrown away and wrapped herself in them. He broke the embrace and let her do that, continuing to observe her carefully though.
«Have you ever talked about this with someone?»
«I don't see what there is to say.» Han's intentions were good, but she couldn't risk opening up to him…
«It wasn't your fault, Leia.»
«I'm not so sure.» She commented, still avoiding his gaze. She was surprised though when she noticed that he had used her true name, a thing that happened rarely.
«Why do you feel guilty? Because you resisted to Darth Vader's tortures? Because you lied to General Tarkin? Or because you remained faithful to your cause even when everything seemed lost?»
Gently he placed a hand on her shoulder, to encourage her and make her understand that he was by her side.
«I couldn't save Alderaan, this is my sin.» Now she looked at him right in the eyes and despite the bitterness of her words she was finally starting to react.
«Unfortunately, in war times, everything's allowed, most of all if it's about the Empire. If it hadn't been Alderaan, another planet would've been destroyed instead. Tarkin wanted to give a demonstration of power and the target must be prestigious.»
«Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it. In order to save the Rebellion I lost Alderaan and my family with it… If I had died before the capture, maybe the base of Yavin 4 would've been destroyed, but my father would've still found the way to reorganize.»
«If you had died, no one would've been able to stop the Death Star. Your father would've been proud of you and would've probably done the same.»
It was true.
That decision had changed her life forever, but she hadn't had another choice. Han had managed to make her see some sense in a different viewpoint and now, still keeping the deep pain for the loss of her planet and her dear ones, she felt less oppressed by her sense of guilt.
«I wish he were here to tell me that.» She concluded, lying down and tucking in her blankets.
Even if she had turned her back to Han, she knew that he was still watching her. It was a sensation that she felt even with her eyes closed and that went beyond simple instinct.
Not so long later, she heard him lying down next to her and not on his pallet. Even if it deeply upset her, she didn't have the courage to complain. After all she liked having him near, especially during a night like that.
xxx
When she opened her eyes again, the following morning, it took her a bit to remember where she was, but soon she realized that during her sleep, she must have turned the other way and now her face was a few centimeters away from Han's. She immediately had the impulse to get away, but, since he was still deeply asleep, she tried to restrain herself and decided instead to get advantage of the situation in order to study him carefully, like she had never had the courage to do in the past.
Their body was lightly in contact, his arm was passing under her shoulders in a tender embrace while her hand was on his chest and gently followed the rhythm of his breathing. When she focused on that particular, she felt herself blush and again she had the impulse to move away, but she dominated herself, paralyzed by the spontaneity of that unintentional gesture.
She felt his heart beating calmly in his sleep, the opposite of hers, which was definitely upset. She was attracted by the heat of his body and by the scent of his skin and, almost without noticing it, she went nearer with her head to the crook of his neck in order to catch the essence better. This way, though, she had approached even more and now had her eyes at his mouth's height.
She had always considered him a charming man. Sure, he had a difficult character which often contributed to cool down her feelings and keep her at distance. But now, while he appeared so peaceful and helpless, she felt the strong temptation to kiss him. His lips, slightly parted, seemed to invite her to share that moment of innocent distraction, but she feared that the contact would abruptly break the magic.
She feared that he would suddenly open his eyes, surprising her while she was intent on contemplating him from such a close distance. If he had looked at her with that intensity that upset her so much, she wouldn't have had any hope of stopping him.
She realized that she was feeling a completely irrational sensation towards him, but still kissing him seemed the most natural thing in the world to her, what bad could there be?
Han, if only you knew how you make me feel…
She lightly brushed his nose with the end of hers, on her lips she felt his warm breath, a fact that did nothing but increase her desire. Before she had the time to ask herself if what the lady at the reception had told her could have a part of truth, she realized that her hair, freed from the plait that kept it in place, was tickling Han's nostril. Almost instantly he sneezed and woke up abruptly.
«Han! Eww!» She said, pretending indignation and hitting him with a slap on the chest, in order to give a reasonable explanation for her hand's location.
«I'm sorry… I didn't want to wake you up.»
«But who was sleeping?! You snore like a Wookiee! Now it's better if we get up.» Even if she had used a bored tone, she wasn't annoyed at all, quite the contrary: his attention almost moved her. She hurried to leave the bed and, along with it, all the dangerous thoughts that, for some minutes, had completely clouded her mind.
His silence though was worrying. Glancing at him through the mirror on the chest of drawers, as she tried to fix her hair, she saw him sitting on the bed, absorbed by who knows what thoughts.
«Have you been awake for a long time?»
«No, why?» Even if his question seemed harmless, it was better not to expose herself more than necessary.
«Nothing… I've had strange dreams.» Han was following with his fingers the borders of the shape that she had left on the blankets, still in a thoughtful way.
«I hope they weren't like mine.» She tried to defuse, turning towards him.
«No… Definitely not!» Finally his gaze returned present and immediately placed itself on her. «Unlike you I'd pay anything to see them coming true.» He added with his usual intriguing smile.
At this point she was no longer so sure that he had been truly sleeping, but was forced to remain with that doubt, not having the courage to deepen the subject.
xxx
The first thing she saw, after regaining her consciousness, was Han's face. She couldn't tell for how long she had been unconscious and now she found herself in a site that seemed familiar to her but that she couldn't quite place.
«What happened?» She was still finding it hard to connect the words.
«An idiot hit you in the head while we were running away from Ord Mantell, but it's all over now. I'll bring you to the nearest medical center, even if you have a hard head it's better if you get it checked out. Lay down and don't move, alright?»
She remembered the face of her aggressor and some bits of the fight that had ended with a violent hit to her temple. Not long before her view clouded, she had seen Han running towards her, then everything had fallen into darkness.
«I bet the idea of having a shoot-out with a bounty killer was yours!»
«Hey, don't put all the blame on me! The idea of laying the ambush to the bounty killer was mine, but you took the initiative of coming out into the open, despite my orders to stay behind me.»
«You're lucky I don't even have the strength to reply… Do you think it's serious?» She asked him, pointing at her head.
«I don't know, but it's better if you don't move. Keep this on the hematoma for now.» He put something in her hand, but the relief coming from the ice was thwarted by the strong stench coming from it.
«What the hell is this stuff?!» That smell, added to the head twirling was making her nauseous.
«It's one of Chewie's steaks, it's the first thing I found in the freezer… Yeah, I know, the smell isn't inviting, is it?»
«I'm going to throw up. Where am I?» The ceiling and the shape of the porthole were similar to those of the Falcon, but she had never seen that cabin before.
There's only one part of the Faclon I've never seen…
«Calm down, we're safe.» He answered patiently.
«If you'll excuse me, I'd rather make sure of it myself!» She tried to raise her body but he blocked her, in a gentle but firm way, making her lie back down on the bed.
«We're on the Falcon, light years away from Ord Martell. And this is my cabin… Are you satisfied now?»
«What? You mean that while I was unconscious you took advantage of my condition to bring me into your bed?» It was as she had thought, but after all, she was positively surprised to have gained in that way the access to one of Han Solo's greatest secrets. He had always prevented her from entering his cabin and she had made millions of conjectures about it… just to find out that it was a normal cabin, like any other.
«You had better alternatives maybe? Did you prefer Chewbacca's room?» He asked, offended.
«It's better if I get immediately up from here! I risk pregnancy just by touching the sheets! I can't say who's seen more girls: the motel's room or your cabin…» Now she felt definitely better, that unexpected discovery had put her in a good mood.
«After all, I think that your condition isn't as serious as it seems! …And anyway you're the first who comes in here, this room is only and exclusively mine and it will remain this way, as soon as you get better!»
«I'm flattered. You mean that you never bring your conquests in here, after you've given them the complete tour of the Falcon?» She knew that it was dangerous to poke Han about that, but she couldn't help it, she was too curious.
«I bring them everywhere except here! Anyway you're right: your safety is at risk, it's better if you move in another room!»
«You're afraid that I find out the skeletons in your closet, Captain?» She didn't intend to leave that cabin, most of all because he appeared more and more annoyed.
«No, I'm simply jealous of my privacy!»
Their skirmish was momentarily stopped by the communication of Chewbacca through the inner intercom of the Falcon. Given the menacing tone of the huge Wookiee it must've been something urgent, but Han didn't seem so eager to go away at all.
«I think it's better if you reach your copilot before he tears off your arms. Don't worry for my health, I'll stay here calm… poking my nose into your stuff.»
This time though Han changed his strategy. Instead of acting annoyed, he answered in a velvety tone: «Alright, wait for me here, so we will share the bed tonight as well.»
She knew that sooner or later he would've made her notice that. «We haven't shared a damn thing last night!»
«Are you so sure about that?» He left, leaving her alone reflecting in his cabin.
By then she was almost certain that he wasn't sleeping at all… that morning on Ord Mantell.