It was great to have Kensi back.
Everyone was happy she was home and the plan was to head out to celebrate. Sam even offered to buy the first round of drinks, only to be topped by Callen offering to take everyone out to dinner. Kensi's choice. So they were hitting her favorite Thai place first, followed by drinks at her favorite bar.
Only Deeks made excuses.
"You guys go ahead, I'm going to finish up my paperwork," Deeks replied, when they tried to herd him along.
"You're going to opt to do paper work over a free meal?" Sam countered, looking and sounding incredulous.
Deeks shrugged. "To be honest I'm wiped out and I'm pretty sure Thor's in my head swinging his hammer for all he's worth. So...raincheck. You guys go and have fun."
Kensi moved to stand in front of him, her mis-matched eyes dark with concern. "You okay?"
"I'm great, really." Deeks offered his most charming smile in an attempt to convince her. He was so tempted to pull her into his arms and hug her, so he could feel her solid warmth against him. She was home and she was safe, but he couldn't help but worry that somehow she would simply disappear. But those were his issues, so shaking off his thoughts he insisted, "Go and have fun. Have a drink for me."
"Okay." Kensi didn't look convinced, but she let Sam pull her away.
Everyone followed them out except for Nell.
Eric noticed she was lagging behind and turned back around. "You coming?"
"I'll catch up," Nell promised. "Go ahead." She tilted her head in Deeks' direction, silently sending a message. She gave Eric a shove to his shoulder, watching as he moved to catch up to the others. The moment everyone was gone, Nell turned to Deeks. He was watching her with a puzzled look on his face. Nell moved to sit on the edge of Sam's chair, her toes barely touching the ground.
"What's up?" Deeks asked, as he slid into his own chair and focused on his laptop.
Nell heaved a dramatic sigh, smiling when Deeks snuck a sideways glance in her direction. "You tell me," she countered.
Deeks shrugged. "The sky, the moon, the stars," he listed, teasing her.
"I'm serious, Shaggy." Nell made sure to wear her serious face, garnering a tiny smile out of Deeks.
"I can see that," he replied, abandoning all pretence of focusing on his paperwork.
Nell knew he wasn't going to make this easy on her, but she forged ahead anyway. She had gotten closer to the shaggy-haired detective in the past few months and she wanted to help him. If she could. "Are you okay?"
Deeks looked surprised by her question. "I'm fine. Great. Why wouldn't I be?" Before Nell could respond he continued with, "By the way, you were awesome out there today. As usual. You're going to make a great field agent. Hetty better start looking over her shoulder."
"Thanks for that," Nell replied, staring down at her fingers and trying to resist the urge to pick at a hang nail. She was so used to having a tablet in her hands or typing at a keyboard that it always felt odd when they were empty. Sometimes she just wasn't sure what to do with them. Heaving another sigh, she stated, "I kinda learned something today. I mean, I came to a realization."
"Which is?" Deeks prompted, looking curious.
Nell looked up, meeting the Detective's blue gaze. "I thought I wanted to be a field agent. Like...that was my dream. But, after today I've come to the conclusion that dreams can change."
Deeks nodded like he understood, but gestured for her to continue. "Go on."
"I miss doing what I do here, in OPS, with my partner," Nell replied in a rush. "It's like, I look at you and Kensi and the two of you belong out there...doing what you do. Just like I belong here...with Eric...doing what I do best."
"Doesn't mean your dreams won't change again," Deeks replied. "They have a funny way of doing that."
It was Nell's turn to nod. She knew that for Deeks, becoming LAPD liason for NCIS had been a huge change. To top it off he had never bargained on being held captive and tortured. For a time Nell had feared he wouldn't come back from that, but he had come back swinging. Only to have Kensi sent away and for all of them to come close to dying in Afghanistan. However, those things were now in the past. "It's good to have Kensi back," Nell stated, getting to the heart of the matter without further ado.
Deeks smiled, looking wistful. "Yeah, it is."
"So why aren't you out there celebrating with everyone?" Nell prompted.
"They need some bonding time with her," Deeks replied. "I've got my partner back so, it's all good. Everyday is like a celebration, you know?"
She did know. Swinging her legs back and forth like a little kid, and feeling a bit shy, Nell said, "I never did thank you."
Deeks made a face at her, looking confused. "Thank me? For what?"
"For figuring out how to save everyone in Afghanistan," Nell replied, leaning forward and locking eyes with Deeks. "If you hadn't shown up when you did..." She found she couldn't finish that sentence without tearing up. So she cleared her throat and finished with, "You're a big damn hero, Shaggy."
"Team effort," Deeks countered, his own voice sounding more than a little husky. "I'm just the minion."
Nell felt a rush of anger and her eyes were blazing as she demanded, "Why do you do that? Why do you always blow off what you do? You just let everyone make jokes about you and...and..." Nell trailed off, knowing that she was guilty of doing the same thing. She hadn't meant anything by it.
Deeks reached out, patting Nell on the knee. "Hey there, Velma. It's okay. I'm cool with it. It's just words. And words can't hurt me. I know who I am and I do what I have to do. That's all that matters. It's what matters to me."
"It matters to me," Nell whispered. "I'm very observant, you know. I see what you do. How you play up the little things yet downplay the big ones. You're one hell of an agent, Shaggy." Nell almost laughed to see Deeks duck his head as he flushed red in embarrassment. "So when are you going to make it official?"
"Hey, I've got the best of both worlds. Why would I mess with it?" As he spoke, Deeks ran his fingers through his hair. One of his nervous tells.
Nell wasn't fooled. "Change is scary, isn't it?" She was speaking from experience. In their work, they never knew what was going to happen, but there was a familiarity in the way they did their jobs. It was scary to think of messing with that balance.
Deeks exhaled slowly, nodding and shrugging and looking a bit uncomfortable. Yeah, well...change isn't easy but sometimes it's a good thing. Although, sometimes, you have to risk it all to get what you want."
"That sounds very cryptic," Nell replied.
"Cryptic Deeks, that's me," he teased, only to receive a gentle kick to the shin, which he totally over reacted to. "Ouch!" Rubbing his shin dramatically, Deeks made a pouty face. "That really hurt, you brute!"
Nell couldn't stop the giggle that erupted at his antics, but she quickly sobered. "By the way, thanks for watching my back out there. And for kinda letting me take over and such. I have this tendency to try and over-achieve in pretty much everything I do."
Deeks made a face. "Really? I hadn't noticed." When she threated to kick him again he held up his hands and surrendered. "No problem, Velma. That's kinda what I do. Or, try to do."
"Nobody does it better." Sliding off Sam's chair, Nell moved forward to place a quick kiss on Deeks' stubbled cheek, once again watching as he flushed red.
"Ew! Velma germs," Deeks cried, scrubbing at his cheek as if trying to wipe it off. "I told Kensi you were becoming attracted to me," he teased, smirking. Which earned him a glare and a laugh.
Then Nell grew serious again. "Come out with us, Shaggy. Kensi would want you there."
He shook his head. "Nah. You go ahead and have fun. Trust me, it's all good. I just...I need a little down time. It's been pretty intense for a while."
"Yeah." Nell couldn't deny that. "Lots of stuff to process. The kind of stuff that changes...things." Changes a person, Nell knew. Like being out in the field today had changed things for her.
"Well played," Deeks confirmed.
Nell felt a sudden solidarity with him that made her feel better about the day. About everything. "Okay. Well...goodnight." With a wave she headed off, knowing that Deeks would be okay. They all would.
When he was alone again Deeks pulled out his phone, pulling up a picture of Kensi taken a few hours before. She was pretty in pink and smiling. He felt himself smiling back. His partner was home and all was right in Deeks' world.
THE END