"Hey...can you look at me sweetheart?" Jackson whispered gently as he took a seat on the tiny child sizes chair beside his wife. April stared blankly ahead, eyes watery but blank while Jackson softly rubbed her leg to let her know he was there. "Did you eat breakfast today...hmmm" Jackson asked as he moved his hand to caress April's face. It was so hard for Jackson to see his wife like this. Ever since Samuel left them, April had left him. She had completely shut down, unable to cope with the reality of what they had just gone through together. Jackson was hardly able to keep it together himself; at night he`d dream about that awful day and how he couldn't do anything to take the pain away. He would wake up in the early hours of the morning and go for a run just to let the tears and anger flow from him. Once he was back at home though Jackson's sole focus was on his wife. On supporting her, holding her, taking her pain and baring it for her. His only focus was putting his wife first, because that's what you do in a marriage, you put the other first.
"April...babe...please, just look at me." April shifted slowly away from Jackson's touch towards the window. Jackson sighed and slowly stood. His wife hadn't moved from the rocking chair in Samuel's room since the previous night when she wasn't sleeping so she came into the nursery and wrapped herself up in the chair, slowly rocking and clutching the teddy bear for dear life. She also hadnt eaten since they had came home three days ago.
Jackson mustered all the strength he had "Im going into work for a few hours babe, I love you" he whispered as he kissed the top of her head and slipped quietly out the door.
When he returned a few hours later Jackson placed his stuff in their master bedroom and headed back to their son's room. April was still sitting in the rocking chair staring at the empty crib, the toast and water Jackson had left for her, untouched. Jackson took a deep breath and headed over to his wife. "Hi April" he said gently as he put one arm softly around her back, the other under her legs and carefully lifted her into his arms. April, still with no reaction in her eyes started punching him in the chest. It was a very faint blow to his chest because she was so weak but it hurt; it hurt his heart. "I know babe...I know April...I know. Shhh sweetheart I know." April started shaking from sobs as Jackson carried her into their room, trying, but failing to hold back tears himself.
He set April carefully on their bed and grabbed the stuff he had brought in earlier. "April, sweetheart, I'm here ok, I'm right here and I'm worried about you" he said as he brushed the hair that was wet from tears away from her face so he could look her in the eyes. "You need fluids and sleep, you haven't eaten in days. You are an incredibly strong woman April Kepner, but you need some sleep. Please let me help you. I love you..please…" Jackson trailed off wiping away his own tears. April nodded weakly and for a second he caught a glimmer of his wife; his beautiful, amazingly strong wife. Jackson gently rolled up the sleeve on April's maroon cardigan and wiped her arm with an alcohol wipe before as gently as he could slipping the IV needle into his wife's hand. "You've been so brave April…so strong, you must be so tired babe, let's get some sleep." He whispered to her as he gently injected some meds into her arm to help her sleep. Jackson felt so helpless, so useless but at least he could do this. He could help give April some relief, even if only for a few hours. Jackson gently kissed her forehead before going over to the other side of the bed, climbing in beside April and wrapping his arms around his wife. She slowly let go of the teddy bear she had still been clutching onto and grabbed onto his arm for dear life. "I miss him Jackson…it hurts…please fix it" she whispered as she slowly drifted off to sleep. With every ounce of his being Jackson wanted to fix it…he just wasn't sure it was fixable.