She was pissed.

Absolutely livid.

Irate.

Fuming.

Apoplectic.

Burning.

Seething.

And she was seeing red. Well, not really. It was more of a pinkish color, practically vibrating he was shaking so hard.

And that was the whole problem in a nutshell. Not the fact that he was shaking, no. It was the color of his head.

Lucy took a deep breath. She cleared her mind and reminded herself that this was Natsu she was talking to. He was an idiot. He would not understand the magnitude of this problem unless she explained it to him. And to explain this problem, she would have to be clearheaded and articulate. Lucy closed her eyes and put a hand on her forehead. Conveniently, it was her right hand, the one with her pink guild mark.

"Natsu." The blur of pink started shaking even more. Lucy wondered how that was even possible, but quickly got back on topic.

"Natsu," she said his name once more, "look at me." The blur slowly stopped vibrating and cast its eyes up toward the blonde celestial spirit. It was probably the worst day ever to leave Happy at the guild with Carla. It was made even worse by the fact that Lucy had him cornered in her bedroom between the bed, the most perfect, beautifullest, amazing, comfy bed in the whole wide universe, and the dresser. Or, wait, could it be a bureau? Or maybe it was a desk. No, it only had drawers. So then it would have to be a-

"NATSU!" Lucy shrieked at the top of her lungs, her face turning a pretty, pretty shade of red, one that Natsu decided he quite liked.

"WHAT?" He yelled back, trying not to appear too distracted. It might have worked had he been able to actually keep eye contact with the blonde. He was a little too preoccupied staring at her flushed cheeks. Her face screwed up in anger (again, Natsu noted) and she leaned forward towards him.

I am going to die, Natsu thought. He closed his eyes and waited for the hit and the screaming to start. It never did. He heard a small gasp and sensed Lucy lean away from him.

Natsu's eyes popped open, wondering what had just happened. Lucy stood in front of him, hunched over with her hands on her abdomen.

Immediately Natsu leaped to his feet, his arms waving around like a dodo. Lucy couldn't help but think that the squawking noises he was making were fairly impressive. She shook her head. No. This was not the time. She was mad at him, dammnit!

Lucy straightened up and opened her mouth, ready to let loose a string of words that Natsu probably would not understand and was gripped with another cramp worse than the last.

"Ugh." Lucy groaned and dropped onto the bed, curling tightly into the fetal position and vowing to never leave her perfect, beautiful, amazing, comfy bed when menstruating ever again.

Natsu froze. His arms were still stuck out in weird poses, and Lucy swore one of his legs was in some kind of ballerina pose. He slowly shut his mouth and brought his limbs back into his body. His wonderful, scrumptious - NOT GOING THERE. His head dropped to his chest, covering his eyes with his bangs.

Calmly and slowly (it creeped the heck out of her), Natsu walked over to Lucy. He gently (this amazed her; Natsu was not 'gentle') took her arms and unwound them from her stomach.

Almost as though the two were in a slow motion movie, the boy raised his head and stared Lucy down, his black, deep, expressive eyes smoldering. She gulped, not aware that Natsu could posses this expression.

"Hi." She said, trying to diffuse the awkward atmosphere.

"Lucy." Natsu's voice was dripping with a heaviness that only mature men could use. Lucy wanted to laugh, she really did, the irony was killing her –

He pressed his hand onto her abdomen, slowly heating the appendage. Lucy groaned. No laughing. Laughing meant that his ego would be bruised, and then he would leave her all alone and cold and mood swingy, and desperately wanting ice cream. Oh, she would have to make him go get her ice cream later. She was all out.

"Lucy." He said again, more demanding this time.

"What?" She drawled back. Seriously, since when did he know that she got all achy and cold when she was on her period? Wait, she never told him she was. How did he-?

"Did Aunt Flo come to visit?"

Um. What? Oh.

"PERVERT!"

"WAIT! WAIT, LUCY, CALM DOW – oof!" A frilly, heart-shaped pillow slammed Natsu in the chest, forcing him to step back. And it was pink. This reminded Lucy of the dire situation that had made her so mad not five minutes ago.

"YOU PERVERT! First, you break into my home," Lucy pointed at the window that she had actually left open earlier that day, expecting Natsu to come visit, "then, you eat half my fridge," this time she pointed at the remaining dishes from the lunch she had prepared for herself and Natsu, "then, you have the absolute GALL to call your hair SALMON, when it is really PINK. SALMON, Natsu, is ORANGE! ORANGE for God's sake! And now, you- you- you- . . . you MOLEST ME!" Tears began to cascade down Lucy's cheeks, falling soundlessly onto the bed.

"Why, why would you call your hair salmon? It's pink, not orange! At least, that's the color of the fish in the supermarket!" Lucy continued to sob as Natsu stood there, completely dumbfounded.

She has lost her mind. Completely lost her mind. Natsu opened and closed his mouth like a fish. The pun was lost on him. He tried to reach out to his best friend, but she batted his hands away.

"G-GO AWAY YOU BIG MEANIE!" Natsu panicked. If there was one thing he hated, it was Lucy crying, and now it was because of him. She must have seen Cana earlier today.

"L-Lucy, I'm sorry." He tried. Maybe if she accepted his apology, even though he did nothing wrong, then she would go back to normal. Natsu waited, hoping she would stop crying. The sobs slowly (at least it seemed slow. It really only took a few seconds) died down to sniffles. Lucy peered up at Natsu through wet, red eyes. Her big innocent chocolatey orbs blinked once, and Natsu swore that when he got home he would punch something so he wouldn't feel like a puddle of disgusting flowery rainbowey emotion anymore. Lucy's lips (don't stare Natsu, don't stare) slowly parted into a smile. She giggled at his wide-eyed expression and put a hand over her mouth.

Natsu gulped. Make that two punches.

"Okay! You're forgiven!" She reached out and hugged her partner tightly.

"Ugh. Lucy." Three. Her hugs were fucking magical.

"So, Natsu, the next time someone calls your hair pink, remember. It is." Her tone was back to dark and scary. Natsu quickly nodded his head to avoid an argument and more tears.

"Y-yeah. Sure." Lucy smiled and snuggled up into her friend's chest. Natsu's arms lay limp by his sides. The two sat (or stood, if you were Natsu) for several moments.

"Aye! It looks like you two finally got together!" Both partner's screamed and Natsu toppled over, falling out of Lucy's arms and landing on the floor. Lucy remained sitting on the bed giggling at her friends antics.

"HAPPY! GET OUT!"

"Aye sir!" There was silence once more.

"Ne, Natsu?" He sighed and looked up at Lucy.

"Hmm?"

"Can you get me some ice cream?"

Well, here it is. My first ever fanfic.

Love it? Hate it? Don't think it made any sense? Review, PLEASE!