Burgerpants was standing by the Nice Cream Guy (NCG)'s vendor stall, watching the streams of humans passing by. He was on his lunch break.
Humans were always so interesting to watch. The first human that he had encountered was the child, Frisk, who had passed by the MTT Burger Emporium on their way to Asgore's castle. He had found that child to be extremely kind and intelligent. They had listened, with earnest curiosity and sympathy, towards his rantings after asking for life and romance advice. He had never before had anybody be such a good outlet for the anger and suffering that he kept pent up inside himself.
Anybody but NCG, that was.
Then the barrier was suddenly destroyed, and now all the monsters had migrated to the surface, where there was sunlight and fresh air and boundless space and endless opportunities for everyone. He could still remember how excited everyone had felt upon learning that the monsters were free. All of them had waited so long for this day. He, too, had drank the kool aid and believed that this was going to be a turning point in his life. He had believed that his life could finally change (for the better) when he went to the surface.
How wrong he was!
He had no useful job experience and no technical skills that were in demand. Acting was his passion, but he was afraid of entering the human entertainment industry. He knew that they wouldn't immediately be receptive to casting monsters as actors. So, deep down, he still wanted to follow after Mettaton, who was a monster (or a robot?), just like him. He had joined Mettaton's band, and they toured the country, introducing humans to the glamour of monster concerts. For a time, he felt like his life was finally progressing.
Unfortunately, their time together didn't last very long. Mettaton was the type who desired fame AND was lucky enough to have fame come to him. After receiving contract offers to be the star of several new movies from human directors eager to grab fresh monster actors, they disbanded and Mettaton went on not only to become famous, but started an entire industry for monster entertainers (all centred around himself, of course).
Burgerpants had auditioned for those acting roles, too. But they didn't give him any. The only criticism that he received was that all of his gestures were too forced, too awkward, and too exaggerated. He had thought that large and exaggerated facial expressions were what were necessary to become a good actor, but apparently, he was wrong. He lacked subtlety. He lacked finesse. He lacked charm, and charisma, and everything that made someone like Mettaton successful while a loser like himself could only remain stuck at the bottom of the social (and financial) ladder.
Forget technical skills! Technology and science were all the rage these days, so monsters like Alphys had snatched up the stable and well-paying jobs with barely any effort. He wished he had learned programming back in Hotland high school. Too bad he wasted all of his time on a bunch of useless drama courses that brought him no valuable return.
So, here he was, working in retail at a clothing store in a big mall in a big human city. He was twenty, but he felt like he had already wasted his entire life. It was because he had nowhere left to go. Looking ahead at his future, all he saw was a long, depressing road of having to work every day as a cashier, or a service man, ending up nowhere and making only minimum wage.
Thinking about all this was bumming him out. He took a puff from his cigar and let the chemicals wash away the worries from his mind, if only for just a moment.
He felt a warm, furry hand pat him on the shoulder. Turning around, he saw NCG's bright and smiling face beaming an encouraging look at him.
"Hey, Burgy," NCG said in his cheerful voice. "How're you feeling right now?"
Burgerpants exhaled and took the cigar away from his mouth. "Same as always, NCG," he said, using the short form of the Nice Cream Guy's name (for some reason, that was what NCG even calls HIMSELF). "Same as always."
"Awww. Feeling down again?"
NCG took out a pen and a piece of paper and drew something on the paper. He wrapped the paper around a cone, filled the cone with blue nice cream (blueberry flavoured), and handed it to Burgerpants.
Sighing, Burgerpants took the cone, but refused to eat it. Since he started dating NCG, the only thing that he had eaten during lunch was nice cream. At first, he was thankful that NCG would let him have free food every day. But, the taste of nice cream – while delicious – was starting to grow stale and boring in his mouth. Now, he couldn't stomach another bite of it, so he just pulled apart the paper wrapped around the cone and looked at what NCG had drawn for him.
It was picture of themselves: NCG the tall blue bunny on the left, and Burgerpants the cat on the right. NCG was hugging Burgerpants and patting him on the back. The message below it was simply: "Have some love and comfort!"
"Yeah, yeah, very funny," Burgerpants said, handing the note back to NCG.
"No, you keep it," NCG replied. "You can look at it again every time you feel sad. From what the humans tell me, my jokes always warm their hearts!"
Burgerpants opened his mouth, ready to snap back at NCG and tell him that what he writes weren't jokes. But, every time he looked at NCG and saw his bright, smiling face, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't bring himself to become frustrated at someone that was always so...happy. To shut himself up, he stuck his cigar into his mouth again.
Every moment that he could spend away from his job was a moment worth living for. So, during his lunch break, he left his store and the mall to spend time at NCG's vending stall, which was located just outside. Along the way, he had to pass through thick, busy crowds of humans. They would always turn and stare at him, finding it fascinating that he was literally a giant anthropomorphic cat, and a few spoiled kids might sometimes tug at his tail or yell at him and ask him dumb questions (where are you from? The Underground, you idiot! What are you? A monster, of course! Why are you a cat? I don't really have an answer for you, because I hate my life).
But it would all be better once he was beside NCG.
He hated to admit it. He hated knowing that he had become so reliant on someone else for his own happiness. Not only that, but he had thought that he was...straight. Back in the Underground, he had felt that he kind of liked Catty. Yes, she was shallow, and mean, and her friend Bratty was so obnoxious. But he did like her. Also, it was normal for a male cat monster to like a female cat monster. But for a male cat monster to like a male blue bunny monster?!
Before, it would've been unthinkable.
But, strangely, it hadn't seemed a completely alien concept to him when NCG suggested that they started dating. Somehow, deep within the recesses of his memory, deep within all that repressed angst, he had thought that he had felt it before. Love for another person of the same gender. Love for someone whose name that he wanted to forget, whose name he would rather not say – not even to himself. But it had been there. It had perhaps been his very first crush. It had been the person that he had chased after and tried to emulate by buying that kit that was supposed to make his head more rectangular...
Mettaton.
Too bad that dumb, untrustworthy robot was now far, far out of his reach. Mettaton was a star, an idol amongst both humans and monsters, and he was rich. There was no reason for someone like Mettaton to want to love a poor loser like him. He, Burgerpants, had to remain where he belonged in the social ladder and find someone that was on the same level as him.
Someone that was as hopeless and incapable of understanding social norms as Nice Cream Guy.
"So...you want to hang out after work today?" NCG asked.
Burgerpants sighed again. "I'll see if I have time."
"Come on, it'll be fine," NCG said. "We could go shopping together at the mall!"
"Why would I want to shop at the place that I'm stuck in all day?"
The smile on NCG's face diminished slightly. "Oh. Well, it was just a suggestion."
Burgerpants cringed internally. He hated himself sometimes for saying insensitive things. "If you really want to-"
"No, it's all right," NCG said. "We can go somewhere else."
"I'm tired today." Burgerpants exhaled another puff of smoke. "After work, I just want to go home."
"I'll come to your house!"
"I guess, if you want."
"Okay! Let's do that!"
NCG put his hand on Burgerpants' shoulder again. Burgerpants wanted to brush him off, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, even though they were out in public and standing in front of so many people. He could feel NCG inching closer towards him. Their arms were touching now. NCG was always looking for affection. Maybe that's why all his jokes were such saccharine schticks.
Not that he didn't want some affection right now, too.
Burgerpants leaned against NCG's shoulder. Sinking into NCG's cool blue fur was a pleasant feeling. It was like easing his inner pains and worries by unloading them onto someone else. They would shoulder those burdens together. They would divide their sadnesses, and, when the time came, their happinesses as well.
"Burgy," NCG whispered into his ear, "Would you like a kiss?"
"You serious?"
"You're so tense right now," NCG said. A blush came over NCG's face, turning his face into a strange mixture of red and blue (oh, wait – that's called purple). "I think you'll feel better if I give you a kiss."
"Yeah, yeah. People find it funny when they're kissed."
"Right! And funniness always eases tension!"
Sometimes, Burgerpants didn't know whether or not NCG himself believed the things that he said. Nevertheless, at the moment, he was feeling particularly receptive to him.
"All right." Burgerpants took away his cigar and leaned closer towards NCG.
Nice Cream Guy gave him a soft, warm, and affectionate kiss on the cheek.
Burgerpants felt like he was going to melt. He didn't want to admit it, but being kissed by NCG was the most pleasant feeling in the world. The sensation washed over him and filled his mind with warmth and satisfaction. His pains, and his inner anger, faded away. He didn't want to let go. Turning his head around, he gave NCG a kiss back on the lips, if only to make it last longer.
They held the kiss, enjoying each other's affection, until suddenly he felt like they were being watched.
Burgerpants pulled away and turned around to see several human children staring at them in shock and disgust.
"Ewww, it's two monsters kissing!" A little girl was saying.
"One's a cat, and the other's a bunny. Isn't that bestiality?" A boy spoke up.
"Wow, and I think they're both guys, too!"
"Get out of here!" Burgerpants shouted back at them, raising his fist.
"The cat's angry, because we caught them being gross!"
The kids laughed arrogantly, before running away.
Burgerpants looked back at NCG, but, as usual, NCG seemed hardly fazed by what had just transpired. The smile on his face had hardly diminished.
"Fucking humans," Burgerpants muttered.
"They're just children," NCG replied. "You don't have to get mad at them."
"Yeah, but I was-"
"And, isn't one of your best friends a human, too?"
"Oh. You mean, Frisk?"
NCG nodded excitedly. "Yeah! And Frisk is one of the nicest people to you, right?"
Sighing once more, Burgerpants lowered his head. "I suppose."
"Sometimes, they come by with their friend, and they both always buy Nice Cream from me! They're one of the nicest humans to me, too!"
Burgerpants lowered his head further. "Yeah, yeah."
He checked his phone, and noticed that his lunch break was almost over. He had to be back at his store in five minutes, or else his boss would scream at him.
Somehow, he hated his current boss even more than he hated Mettaton.
"I have to go," he said.
NCG smiled again. "Well, I'll catch you later, then. I'm coming to your house tonight, right?"
Burgerpants nodded. "Sure."
"Yay! I'll bring lots and lots of nice cream!"
"Yeah. Okay. Bye."
With the cone still in his hand, Burgerpants ran towards the mall, pushing through the crowds of humans. When he was out of NCG's line of sight, he tossed the nice cream cone into a garbage can.
He still couldn't muster up the courage to tell NCG that he hated nice cream yet.
