Disclaimer: The characters are not mine.

Who Tops?

It had taken awhile for them to open up enough to allow it to happen. Yuffie knew the second they walked into Merlin's; a new sense of closeness was shown in the way their hands and shoulders brushed together oh so innocently; Yuffie knew from a glance that her two favourite bishies had, in her words, had 'hot kinky mansex!'.

And she had no reservations about loudly announcing that fact either, much to the mixed reactions of her friends. Merlin, for example, had choked on his tea and a delighted Tifa had squealed and nearly broke Cloud's ribs as she hugged him. Leon had the good sense to hurry over to Aerith before the fighter could hug him. He regretted his decision a second later when Aerith decided that she had to know who the uke was and started to demand the answer from him.

All either of them could say was thank god for Cid; that blessedly grumpy middle aged man who demanded that the bloody meeting hurry the fuck up already so he could get back to the damn computer.

The subject wasn't dropped however. Though it was silenced for awhile when Leon gave an objective lesson which consisted of 'if two of you girls were sleeping together, would you like to bothered over who was the dominant?". That silence lasted only a day, when Yuffie decided that since she was a yaoi fangirl, a lesbian counterargument didn't count. After all, the Great Ninja Yuffie cared only about the mansex. Something she took pleasure in vocally demonstrating; explaining to the two men how they could turn the construction site into their personal -very kinky- mating grounds.

Neither had appreciated her sentiments, especially not Leon who took the restoration work seriously. Thanks to Yuffie, he wasn't able to feel comfortable enough on site to actually work constructively that day.

She was given the graveyard shift for patrol duty as a consequence. Tifa and Aerith decided private speculation would suit them just fine and left the couple alone.

But not Yuffie.

Never Yuffie.

-----

Cloud lifted an eyebrow as he watched Leon throw an armful of cameras into the trashcan with a satisfied smirk. "Yuffie?" He queried pointlessly, already knowing the answer but feeling the need to say something as Leon tossed the final camera into the bin with more force than necessary.

"Who else?" Came the disgusted response as the brunet threw himself onto a chair with a sullen look.

Cloud chuckled softly. "She's persistent. You have to give her that."

"I'll give her a hiding, that's what I'll give her!"

A blonde eyebrow rose again as amusement slightly quirked Cloud's lips up into a miniscule smile. "A hiding?" He repeated quietly. "What are you? Her father?"

Leon glowered as he stood up again, making sure to whack Cloud across the side of the head as he walked out muttering darkly about ninjas.

Rubbing his head Cloud had to give a short soft laugh as the front door slammed, indicating Leon's departure. Leaning back, he drummed his fingers on the table as a scheming smirk played on his features. Yuffie wanted to know that badly did she? Well then, far be it from Cloud to spoil her fun. But those cameras had to go; Cloud was not an exhibitionist and he didn't trust the girl to not make copies and sell them for a tidy profit.

----

Yuffie gaped openly as she spotted one of her favourite gay bishies walking out of a shop with a bag full of purchases. One of those shops to be precise…you know…

A sex shop.

Her eyes danced gleefully as she skipped after the blonde, her delighted chuckles going unchecked as she moved quickly to close the distance between them. As Cloud stopped and turned to face her, she rearranged her features to take on a more angelic look, smiling cheerfully as he gave her a questioning stare.

"Goooood morning Cloudy!" Looking down at the bag she leaned against him and elbowed him lightly in the ribs; noting with amusement that he promptly pulled the bag out of her view. She giggled and directed her stare to his face and wiggled her eyebrows. "What's in the bag Cloudy? Something for a fun night eh?"

Amusement flickered through his eyes as he nodded smoothly. "You could say that." He answered quietly. "Leon does like…a little variation."

Yuffie nearly squealed her response, successfully managing to stop herself from bouncing on the spot with glee -just. "Oh?"

He nodded again, a smirk curling one corner of his mouth as he had the girl's undivided attention. "Nothing too extreme though." Inwardly he almost cackled as she visibly deflated at the thought that her two boys weren't as kinky as she'd hoped. "A little BDSM…a little kitchen sex…a little bathroom sex." He smirked as the ninja's mind visibly took on the fangirl thought process. He could almost hear the thought running giddily through her yaoi obsessed head. 'OMG, bathroom sex means they're..NAKED!'. He patted her head as she finally let out a squeal. "Try not to spread that around okay? Leon's a little shy about our…erm, activities."

"Oh! Sure thing Cloud!" She waved him cheerfully, waiting until he was around the corner before squealing again and doing a little dance as the mental images so generously helped by Cloud danced around her mind. Oblivious to the faint, evil sounding chuckle and the pedestrians giving her odd looks; it was the next day before she finally came back down to earth when she realised that one crucial factor was missing in her newly acquired fantasies, stopping them from progressing as far as she'd have liked…

Who the bloody hell topped?!

End

I had to do it. I mean we all know, Yuffie would get sidetracked a little when presented with that kind of info and the thought of Cloud getting the better of her was too fun to pass up.

Please R&R