File #1 - When Levi
Date Written - Wed, May 18, 2016
Pairing : N/A
Rated : T (Levi's Fault)
Summary:
Because all hell break loose when Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman found his one and only true ally.
"KIRSCHTEIN!"
A booming voice yelled, the sound reverberated throughout the whole dining hall halting everyone from their precious meal. Almost every single one of the corps soldiers gulped, not wanting to mess with the Corporal during the mornings. They looked at the poor boy Jean Kirschtein who is the object of the Corporal's ire with pity and admiration for not pissing his pants under the scrutinizing and intimidating gaze of the Corporal.
"S-sir.." He stuttered, his knees trembling a little as he shakily stood his ground, beads of sweat trickling down his forehead.
Commander Erwin Smith silently watch the whole spectacle with Hange Zoe beside him at one of the tables in the corner of the room. His fingers drummed silently at the table as he stared at the Corporal with blank, expressionless face.
"Here he go again" Hange sigh while shaking her head. She vowed not to interfere, for she may have advances when it comes to the little man but she- like everybody else in the room- knows not to mess with him so early in the morning. Levi is a foul mouthed grumpy man himself, but coupled with being not a morning person, you just literally unleashed an untamed beast in the dining hall during the mornings.
Rumors has it that everyone in the Survey Corps had had a silent agreement not to get closer to the Corporal during the mornings within 15feet radius.
At first, it was just the soldiers exaggerating stories but as time flies, the exaggerating stories justified itself that Erwin may as well approved of it as a law within the legion.
Everyone silently stared but as the Corporal eyed the whole room, everyone instantly went back to their own devices as if nothing happened.
"Well?" Corporal Levi asked, arms crossed over his chest, a permanent scowl etched into his hard features which made Jean gulped, wanting to turn tail and run.
He stiffly straightens himself
"..It was an a-accident.. s-sir.."
"Are you fucking saying that it was an accident that you can't fucking gracefully put your shitty cup of coffee down the table? Don't shit with me Kirschtein" He growled, eyebrows creasing, looking clearly pissed.
Almost everyone silently thank the heavens that children are not allowed in the HQ. They don't want innocent little children asking, 'What's a shit?'.
"N-no.. sir"
He slammed down his hands at the table, "Then fuck your stupid shitty incompetence Kirschtein. Does your puny little brain even knows how hard to remove coffee stains are?"
Everyone not only Jean cringed. The Corporal sure has his way with words. They won't be surprised if it can even kill a human. Vaguely, they wonder how many times the Corporal cursed each day.
".. I- I- s-sir-"
Levi gestured to his pristine white shirt.
"This splotches of stains is your fucking fault, Kirschtein. Now I have to wash this irritating brown colored spit, again"
In all honesty, Jean can't see the splotches of stains the Corporal is gesturing to. All he can see is his pristine white shirt. Biting down his own retort for the unfairness of it all, he decided to just let it all come and accept his own fate.
He made it a mental note to himself to never, ever attempt to share a table with the Corporal. It's just that today he doesn't have a choice, he woke up a little late and what greeted him is the crowded mess hall with only the Corporal's table remaining unoccupied.
Of course, Levi being Levi, a clean freak and dubbed Humanity's Strongest, a little tinge or droplet of coffee stain won't escape his keen senses. Innocently, unable to be seen by average people, a tiny drop of coffee stain is there and it is making him irritated, furious even. His hands twitch, aching to remove the damn offending coffee stain, he can't and won't work for the rest of the day while the coffee stain remained as a distraction. He needed to get rid of it, quickly.
"Kirschtein", He growled, "You're on fucking stable duty for the rest of the month, starting now"
Jean stood dumbfounded, unable to process the words or sentence perhaps that the Corporal said. His ears can't belive it. Stable duty for the rest of the month? Has the Corporal gotten soft?
Everyone is met with the same reaction. Also not believing the infamous Corporal's words.
'Lucky Bastard'
'Is it his birthday?'
'The goddesses obviously smiled at him'
'It's not the end of the world, right?'
'Bastard might want to celebrate later'
Hushed whispers filled the room but all was silence as the Corporal stood, snapping at Jean.
"Kirshctein, the horses don't fucking have all day, they can't shovel their own shit. Are you just going to dumbly stand there or maybe you want to shovel the horses shit using your disgusting gaping mouth. Seriously, the titans are put to shame. Get out of my sight. NOW!" Snapping out of his stupor, Jean quickly scrambled out of the room, eager to leave the range of the Corporals sight.
Levi slowly walked out of the room obviously heading to his room and then to the laundry room, but before he can make his fifth step, a hand in his shoulder stopped him.
"Levi. Why are you so pissed early in the morning?" Hange asked, grinning from ear to ear.
He looked at her blankly, not wanting to engage in one of her stupid arguments. The stain in his shirt can't wait to wash itself off.
"Fuck off, shitty glasses"
She grinned much wider, circling her arm aroun his neck.
"You clearly need a woman's love and touch Levi. Ah, exposing you to too much titan activity sure has its toll" She dramatically, hung her head while balling her fist, all the while grinning widely that even Levi wants to cringed.
He forcefully pried her arm off around his neck.
"Tch. Has your chemicals burned out your creepy brain shitty glassess? People with PTSD pales in comparison to your shitty stupid behaviour" He hissed before jabbing Hange at the stomach which she skillfully avoid. He continued walking until he reached the door of the dining hall.
"You can always asked me for advice Levi" Hange waved, beaming as he close the door with as soft, 'THUD'.
Levi walked along the hallways of the headquarters, he didn't want to stall as much time as possible. He gave a sideway glanced towards the window. The sun is peeking from above indicating that morning rituals and breakfast should be already done. He scowled annoyingly, he wants to start his paperworks on time so that he can finish early today and enjoy a cup of tea, but no, a not so innocent coffee stain ruined his day.
The hallways started to lit up and show their colors as the sun raise a little higher from the sky. The morning dew has long been gone as the soldiers outside scrambled to their own duties.
A set of foot steps alerted the Corporal at a person at the end of the hallway. A quick glance at the female and he already new that she is one of this years recruits.
The female across him didn't notice him yet. She looked side to side clearly lost. She was biting her nails as if for dear life and he silently groaned in irritation, what if her nails are dirty?
She had a dirty blonde hair that passed her shoulders and a set of green eyes that clearly showed her plight. She is no older than 19, he surmised but then again, looks can be decieving.
She looked up and her eyes lit up in relief upon seeing him. He just look at the girl with his usual bored look clearly not wanting to do anything with her. He has an offending coffee stain to wash and tending to the cadets rumbling will waste his precious time.
Intent on walking past her. He continued his pace and successfully walked past the girl but not until he heard her spoke.
"You have a coffee stain in your shirt, sir"
He stopped, slightly baffled. He was sure. He is sure, that only he can spot where the stain in his shirt is. It is one of the reasons he let Kirschtein off with a simple punishment. He was positive that the stain won't ruin his reputation as he walked down the hallways with the air of authority. No one won't noticed.
He inwardly grimaced as he spun on his heel to face the confused girl. His gaze hardened as he scrutinized the girl before him. Nothing seem special about her, nothing screams of power and skill, if anything, she looks normal, average. A soldier that can't even hold a candle against him or Mikasa Ackerman.
She slightly fidget under his hard gaze, no doubt the Corporals intimidating glare taking its effect. She uncomfortably rubbed his arms all the while looking at anything but him.
He tuck his hands inside his pants pockets, looking all cool.
"Name yourself, cadet"
She awkwardly saluted, finding her voice meek and small. She bit her lower lip to swallow the nervousness.
"Michelle Kirschtein of the 105th Trainee Squad Sir! 20 years old, 5'4" in height, 45kg. I formerly lived in-"
"I didn't ask for a fucking biodata, shut your damn mouth"
He cut her off, his eyes squinting in irritation. He glanced at her and she flinched. His eyes disbelieving. How can someone with no special talent whatsoever noticed the stain in his shirt? He gritted his teeth and decided to go by the saying, 'Don't judge the book by its cover', He don't want a mistake to come biting him by the ass later.
"Kirschtein? You look nothing like that horseface. What's your graduating rank?"
Her eyes lit up when she heard the word 'horseface'. He-Kirschtein and She-Kirschtein are apparently close and she obviously knew Jean looked like a horse. He chuckled inwardly. So it's common knowledge.
"He's my cousin and I graduated with no honors, Sir..?" She looked at him questioningly and his eyes narrowed dangerously. This woman didn't even know him.
"Corporal Levi" He replied, eyes unblinking as he observed her reaction.
Her eyes widen and her mouth formed an 'O'. Again, she stiffly and awkwardly saluted finally aware that the midget before him is a person of authority and power. He even thought he heard her heart pounding loudly and rapidly.
"Corporal!" She exclaimed.
He turned around to leave, finally deducing that it was just a coincidence or a streak of luck or whatever that she noticed the stain. Obviously, the girl can't even be compared to Mikasa Ackerman and here he was wasting his goddamn precious time. Every second counts.
"Corporal, wait!" She run to catch up to him.
"What?" He snapped, not looking back nor stopping to pay attention to her.
"Where is the mess hall?"
He groaned.
"I'm not a fucking tourguide. Go find it on your own" He scoffed before walking more briskly and leaving her.
"Jean!" Jean immediately looked up from shoveling horse shit upon hearing the familiar voice of his cousin. He find himself groaning in frustration upon the sight of her, waving while running towards him, her ever so stupid grin etched across her face. He sigh before shoveling the horse shit and putting it in a sack before wiping the beads of sweat on his forehead with the back of his sleeves uniform. The stench of the horse shit surrounding him only aggravated him more as he looked again at her cousin.
"Yo!" She beamed.
"Don't 'Yo' me, you idiot, what were you thinking joining the scouts? I thought you were going to Military Police?! What would Aunt Martha will say?!" He loomed over her, attempting to scare her off like old times when she refused to go home. She held her hands up and laugh nervously.
"Easy there Jean, I was going to join the MP's but I didn't make it to the Top Ten, so.." She looked down, knowing exactly what her cousin will say.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, but instantly regretted it when he smelled the awful stench of horse shit. He brushed his sleeves over his nose and huffed.
"It's not like I can do anything about it now. Might as well accept it"
She smiled.
"By the way Jean, you smell awful. Want me to help you? I can't stand the sight of filth around here. I feel like I must do something or I will regret it in the end" His brows furrowed, remembering his cousins antics then something dawned upon him, a realization that will surely hit everyone in the Survey Corps.
"No, you can watch if you want. What are you even doing here?" He continued shoveling the horse shit while she prance around, keeping herself a few distance away since she can't stand Jean's smell.
"I was looking for the mess hall. I haven't eaten breakfast yet" She snorted, rubbing her stomach that has yet to be fed.
"Tough luck. You won't get any breakfast after eight so you'll have to wait for lunch" Jean took a deep breath and wipe the sweat of her brow. It's been an hour since the mess hall incident and frankly he is feeling lucky today no matter how the farce with the Coporal turned out.
She slumped.
"Why are you even tending to the stables today? Don't you have 3DMG practice today?"
"Corporals orders" He simply said and her form raised in recognition.
"Captain Levi? I met him in the hallways today. I thought the Captain is a clean man from the rumors circling around our trainee batch. Seems like rumors were just rumors after all." She sigh, clearly not liking the idea. She first thought when she heard the rumors that finally, finally, someone can understand her, someone she can talk to but no. She fly so high with her admirations and came crashing down after a single encounter with the man.
"What do you mean?" Jean asked, curious.
"He has coffee stains on his shirt" She said simply, earning a wide eyes from Jean. So there is a coffee stain after all. Wait..
"You met him?! You actually, really met him?! What did you two talk about?" He asked, not believing her words. It is something that he cannot let past without further interrogation. It could mean the doom of the whole legion once Jean confirmed his speculation.
It was one of the things Jean worried the most upon the moment he saw her waving at him. And his fears only do nothing but to confirm itself. He gulped nervously, waiting for the words he dreaded to slip past her lips.
"I did. When I said he had stains on his shirt, he looked at me skeptically. He is scary Jean." She shrugged. Not wanting to remember that moment when the Corporals gaze trained on her.
Hearing this as the only salvation he needed, he bolted out of the stables, running past her and not even caring about the fact that he neglected his duties and he may recieve an earful from the Corporal later. All he could think about is the possible doom the Corps is enlisted to.
"Hey Jean!" He heard her say but he ignored her, not even looking back to acknowledge her. He bolted past the door and headed straight for the Commanders Office.
He knocked urgently, rapping his knuckles repeatedly upon the door. He heard muffled voices from the inside before a straight, 'Come in' was heard. Not wasting time, he pushed open the door and the sight of Commander Erwin and Hange greeted him. He offered the two a stiff salute.
"What is your business for you to pound on the door Kirschtein?" Erwin asked calmly while Hange just snickered.
"The whole legion is in trouble sir!" He exclaimed, fear evident in his features as his shoulders shook uncontrollably.
The Commanders gaze harden and Hange stopped chuckling to carefully look at him, looking for any signs that the boy is kidding.
"Elaborate cadet"
He gulped.
"Sir, my cousin, Michelle Kirschtein from the 105th Trainee Squad is here." The commander raised his prized eyebrow before waving at him to continue.
"Sir, I'm afraid we can't let her meet or socialize or get anywhere close to the Corporal" This earned him a pointed look from both of the squad leader.
"Oh? What do you mean? I think you're being hard on Levi, Kirschtein. Let your sister express her love and admiration for him. Ah, its about time indeed." Hange chuckled, grinning widely that the corners of her mouth might snap. She clasped both of her hand together, no doubt playing a simulation in her head on how to get the two close. He recoiled at this.
"No. No, no no no, you don't understand, Squad Leader."
She pouted.
"And why is that?"
"Do explain, Kirschtein" He looked at the commander gravely before gulping hard.
"Sir.. Michelle- She's.. a clean freak" And everyones mind went blank. Unbeknowst to them, the inevetable seems to act on itself.
Meanwhile..
Michelle stretched her limbs. Cracking her neck and stretching her stiff muscles. It had been five minutes since Jean run off on her and she saw this as the opportunity to clean the stables to her standard.
She was about to put the now glistening and cleaned shovel back to the tool box when she heard a voice from behind her.
"Kirschtein?"
She turned around, only to be face to face with the Lance Corporal himself who is eyeing the stable with what can be describe as awe and amazement.
"Sir?" She asked, snapping him from his trance. His sharp eyes focus on her and once again she felt that intimidating gaze upon her features.
"She-Kirschtein," He acknowledge,"Where's the horseface?" He asked obviously appalled at the idea that Jean is behind the glorious and pristine condition of the stables. It was as if he walked into one of the rooms that he personally clean, only that this- he admitted gravely- was more cleaned, surpassing his standards.
"He suddenly left, leaving me here so I took it upon myself to clean the stables." She admitted quietly, unintentionally, her eyes roamed up and down his body, inwardly raising a thumbs up, his appearance passing her cleaning standards.
"You did this?" He asked, as he rub his fingers downwards at the wooden walls of the stable, he brushed his thumb and index finger with each other, feeling nothing, no dust.
"I did"
He gave her a curt nod.
"By the way Corporal, I see you successfully got rid of the coffee stain on your shirt, its distracting really" She shakes her head lightly.
"This is new. I washed the one with the coffee stain and hung it under the sun"
She nodded in approval.
"How long are you cleaning here?" He asked, trekking inside the stable. The smell of horse shit was gone now, replaced by a refreshing smell of sunshine. Everything was in order. Perfect. Perfectly up to his standards.
"Five minutes sir" He looked back at her with that, not believing her words. He furrowed his brow at him. Then he smirked. The girl in front of her, is on par with him at cleaning, and he liked it. A competition, at last.
"How do you do your laundry?" He found himself asking. Confirming his suspicions before giving her his approval that no one else got.
"My laundry? I first separate the colored garments from the white garments and separate the other garments such as red that can stain the other garments. I wash them first with clean water to rid of the dirt that cling to the fabric-"
He raises his hand for her to stop and she did.
Indeed, this woman deserves his acknowledgment. But just to be sure..
"How do you clean your room?"
She tapped her chin thoughtfully with her index finger before grinning.
"I moved my things to the other side of the room to clean the ceiling first and once one side is done, I moved to the other side. I swept the dust and dirt before damping a rug and cleaning the nook and cranny of my room until it was spotless enough to my standards. Why the sudden questions sir?", Then she gasped, "Sir don't tell me the stables aren't cleaned enough?! I'm sorry, I'll redo it immediately"
He shakes his head.
"..Let's make the Headquarters spotless, what do you say, Michelle?" He smirked, before raising his hand.
She perked up at this, completely interested. She grinned. Catching his hand and shaking it.
"Sounds like a challenge,..Corporal"
"Levi", He said, "Levi is fine"
She smiled.
"Then Levi it is" And then the duo took off, ready to shake the very foundation of the whole Headquarters.
"GAHAHAHA! J-jean", Hange roared in laughter, clearly amused by the revelation Jean had said.
Jean frowned at the Squad Leader.
"Squad Leader, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation"
"Jean," Commander Erwin caught his attention, "I understand your concern, but what's the harm of them meeting? Personally, I think it best for Levi to finally have someone to talk his hobbies to."
Jean hung his head in defeat. Hange swung from her chair and approached the downed boy.
"Jean, I understand that you may have grudges for Levi, but give him a chance, don't you want him for your cousin? He is Humanity's Strongest for a reason, he can protect your cousin" She patted the boys shoulder, all the while laughing her heart out.
"That's not the point.." Jean dejectedly pointed out. Though at this point, its already too late.
"This conversation is done. You are dismissed Kirschtein" Commander Erwin waved him out. But before Jean can turn around, series of foot steps is heard from the other side of the door. Without knocking, members of the Survey Corps boldly opened the door, hysterical looks etched upon their faces.
"Commander! It's chaos out there!"
"Commander! My things were missing!"
"Oh god, help me they are raiding my room clean!"
"Squad Leader, Commander! Please, help, Stop them"
"Commander! Rats are evacuating from the HQ!"
"Squad Leader Hange! They are warping your lab room!"
"What?!" Hange exclaimed, horrified.
"Commander! I can't recognize the kitchen and the mess hall anymore!"
"Commander Erwin! I can't differentiate my room from the comfort room!"
"Commander! Squad Leader, everything is turning white and shiny!"
Erwin and Hange could only gawked while Jean face palmed himself in defeat as swarms and swarms of soldiers invaded the Commander's office, retreating to their last stronghold in the Headquarters.
For a moment there, Erwin and Hange regretted laughing and not taking Jean Kirschtein more seriously.
They learned their lesson as two figures appeared in their field of vision, intent on claiming the last standing place in the HQ.
In the end, it was a tragic incident that left the soldiers of the Survey Corps with PTSD. They would become hysterical whenever they saw white and shiny.
That day, the Headquarters of the Survey Corps turned spotlessly cleaned, white and shiny that even the movie, Hetalia Axis Powers - Paint It White Movie was put to shame.