Hey everyone, Layman here again, bringing you another installment of the misadventures of the bossest little sentient plushie evar, Vivi from Weiss Reacts! (Thanks a bunch, Elf, these are fun to do!)
So this one actually takes a note of inspiration from ElfCollaborator's other prominent Reactverse story, Lucina Reacts, specifically chapter 56 & 57. (I'm not going to say anything about it for those who haven't read it yet, but I think you'll have a pretty good idea of what they're about.) Obviously, I'm going to try to change it up a little bit, but it's probably going to end up similar regardless, given the concept.
You know what? Read the story, you'll see what I mean.
(Disclaimer: to anyone reading this, these characters are based off of the ones from the Weiss Reacts fics and as such will not match up perfectly with the canon of the show. Just keep that in mind going in.)
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The elevator bell dinged as it reached the top floor of Beacon's central tower, the doors sliding open automatically.
"Ladies," Ozpin said as the elevator's passengers disembarked, gesturing to a couple chairs in front of his desk, "thank you for coming to see me."
"Is something wrong?" asked Velvet Scarlatina as she and her erstwhile companion/sentient Weiss plushie Vivi each took a seat. (Vivi used her mallet "Slugger" to get a better vantage point), "Because if this is about the giant wooden Trojan shark filled with vanilla sorbet then Yang already beat me up over it, and Ms. Lupin made me clean it all up with a toothbrush."
"Pipipipi pipi," Vivi added, holding up said toothbrush to illustrate Velvet's point.
Ozpin raised his hands placatingly. "Don't worry, I didn't call you both up here to rub salt in your wounds. In fact, I do believe that you could be of some great help to me."
"R-...really?" the rabbit Faunus stammered.
"...Pi?"
"Yes," the headmaster nodded, "Vivi especially."
"Um...how, exactly?"
"Well," he said, making a bridge with his fingers, "I'm sure you're well aware of the- Oh, how do I put this diplomatically?...'colorful' population of this school, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Pi..."
"Good. Now, while I would never discourage honest self-expression from the students, I've begun to notice lately that tensions among the student body and even the faculty have been increasing in a more unhealthy manner than usual. Frankly, I'd rather everyone here be happy, and that's probably not going to happen if there isn't a a constructive outlet to help release those tensions."
Velvet and Vivi nodded in understand. Because of Velvet's awareness of the Forth Wall, and Vivi breaking more than a few natural laws herself (on top of just being all around boss), both of them could tell that many of their friends and acquaintances had more than a few screws loose in one way or another. And while this normally was fine for getting a few yucks out of the audience, if Ozpin thought there was a problem, then things were starting to actually get serious. (And not the "Weiss tries to end all Antics because Yang embarrassed her while she and Ruby were cuddling" serious, SERIOUS serious!)
"I'd take care of this matter personally," he continued, "but I don't have the time to devote to such a massive undertaking, what with running a combat school, juggling the politics with the other combat schools, Kingdoms, and assorted other countries." He cast a knowing look at the plushie, "And that's were you come in, Vivi."
"PI!?" Vivi exclaimed, gesturing to herself with her stubbly arms.
"Her?" Velvet wondered
"Yes, her." Ozpin then pulled out a manila folder and handed it to the pair. "That's a short list of candidates for the position of official Beacon Psychiatrist."
"...there's only five names here," Velvet noted, "and why is Professor Fall's name on the list?"
"Pi pipipii-pipi pipipi."
"I now, but there aren't very many people here that I can count on to maintain a level professionalism and sanity for the position; to be honest, I'm sort of scraping the bottom of the barrel here."
"Pii-pipipi, pipipipipi pipi?" Vivi asked, pointing to Beth Lupin's name.
"Because she already has enough on her plate tending to the campus, and she's not exactly the most personable member of the faculty," he explained. "For that matter, neither is Professor Torchwick."
Though she could see his point, a thought nagged at Velvet's mind.
"Wait a minute, what about Miss Honda?" she asked, "Her name's not on the list, even though she practically has the patience of a Saint."
"Pipi!" Vivi agreed, nodding.
"Well...," Ozpin scratched the back of his head, actually looking quite sheepish, "I though about including her, but..."
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Elsewhere...
"Come on, Tohru!" Cinder whined, knocking on the door to Tohru Honda's room, "I gave up part of my burrito fund to get this for you; the least you could do is try it on!" She was holding an extremely risqué string bikini and a pair of Neko ears and gloves.
Tohru had currently barricade herself in her room, having already been harassed by Cinder earlier that day, and wasn't keen on a second round of abuse.
"B-b-but you already made me try on that battle waitress outfit on earlier!" she protested, "B-besides, don't you think the cat stuff might just be a little insensitive to any cat Faunus?"
Cinder shrugged, not that Tohru could see her doing it. "Eh," she said, "it's not anyone here wasn't imagining you like this already."
"W-w-what!?"
"Now are you going to let me in, or do I have to break the-" What sounded suspiciously like a muffled Thud! noise came from the other side of the door. "...Tohru?" She pressed her ear to the door, listening for any signs of life. "Huh, she must fainted.
Oh well, guess I'll have to burn the door down, like I wasn't planning to do that anyway."
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Back with Ozpin...
"...let's just say her gentle nature could ultimately work against her.
Anyway, that is why I'm asking you to take the job."
Vivi scratched her head, "Pipi pipiipii pi?"
"Well, for one thing, you're quite proficient with that hammer of yours-" He gestured to Vivi's makeshift booster seat. "-and should a member of the Vivi Glomping Society or other unruly student be sent your way, have the mettle to defend yourself. You also appear to be the most emotionally staple resident of this School, apart from myself and a few others, and the fact that you're often the voice of reason to Miss Scarlatina's schemes-" He quickly turned to Velvet, "No offense."
"N-none taken, sir."
"-like the incident over in Ylisse, proves that you can reason with people and help them reach an understanding, which is an invaluable tools for a psychiatrist." He leaned back in his chair, "So, can I count on you to take the job?"
After cutely mulling it over for a few seconds, Vivi looked Ozpin directly in the eyes and assuredly nodded her consent, sticking one of her stubbly arms out in what was suppose to be a Thumbs Up gesture. (The effect is somewhat lost when you don't have fingers.)
"I still have a question," Velvet interjected, raising her hand, "Well, two actually; first, if Vivi's getting the job, why am I here? And why not just hire a psychiatrist from outside the school?"
"To answer you second question first," he said, "because the Yuletide Dance ate into more of our budget than we anticipated and we can't afford to hire someone from outside the school. As to your first question, you're listed Vivi's legal guardian, and I thought she could use a secretary."
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Later, Vivi was sitting in her office, generously provided by Ozpin for her use as the school psychiatrist. It was only a spare room in a little used area of the campus, but it was well furnished with a desk for Vivi to keep important papers and stuff, and a comfortable sofa for the patients to lay back on. There was a classy portrait of Ozpin hanging on the wall behind the desk, which the headmaster assured her was essential to the set up when he showed her the room. She also had a small plaque on the desk that said "Vivi S., P.H.D." on it, along with a solar powered dancing flower (also essential, apparently).
"Pii...," she sighed, settling into a tiny leather chair on top of the desk, "pipi pipipipipi." She reached behind the chair and pulled out a pair of studious eyeglasses, fixing them on her adorably super deformed head. (There were a lot of prerequisites for this job, she was realizing.)
With all the preparations completed, she took out her miniature Scroll and page Velvet, who was stationed outside with a set up of her own.
"Pipipi pi pipipi," she said.
"On it!" the Faunus chirped, sending in the first patient.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Blake Belladonna
"Pipipipi pii pipipi," Vivi said, gesturing Blake to have a seat on the couch.
"I don't even know why I need to be here," she said, "I was in the middle of doing Norn's maintenance routine when I got called here. How am I supposed to make my robot battle maid more Manly if I'm sitting here, hmm?"
Vivi sighed. "Pi, pi," she said, gesturing to all of Blake, "pipi pipii pi pipipipi."
"What do you mean?"
"Pipipi pii pipi 'Pipi' pipipipi," she explained, making a steeple with her arms, "Pii-pipi pipippipi, pi pipipi pipi pii."
"Hey, Manliness is awesome!" Blake protested, leaning forward threateningly, "Don't think just because you're make of stuffing that I won't kick the crap out of you! Just because you don't see the value of being Manly doesn't mean...!"
Vivi hung her head, letting Blake rant for a bit.
This might be harder than she realized...
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Elsa Schnee
"How come no one comes to see me anymore?" the Weiss clone wondered, laying back on the couch with her hands folded over her chest. She twirled a lock of her purple dyed hair absently, "I mean, I feel like everyone's forgotten that I even exist."
"Pipi-pi piipipi pipi," Vivi said, patting the Copy on the shoulder comfortingly. "Pipipii pipipipipi."
"Is it my hair? The glasses? The fact that I spend most of the day reading?"
Vivi shrugged. "Pipipi?" She asked.
"...Around the time Miss Winter came back," she figured. "Why does she have such a large fan club, anyway?"
Vivi tapped her chin, recalling the many instances of her and Velvet trying to squeeze by mobs of the Winter Schnee Appreciation Club on their way to kidnap Weiss. "...Pi pipipi?" she suggested.
Elsa considered this.
"So...you're saying that if my breasts were larger, people would notice me more?"
Vivi facepalmed.
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Cinder Fall
"What eating problem?" Professor Fall asked innocently, muffled by a half eaten burrito hanging from her mouth.
She also had another twenty resting on her lap.
Vivi headdesked, a tiny squeak sounding as her head made contact with the wood.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Jaune Arc
"My Semblance has caused me nothing but grief," Jaune complained. He began counting off on his fingers, "It's always on, I can't turn it off, I can't really control it, I'm constantly getting mobs by people who are affected by it..."
"Pii pipipi, pipipipi pi-pipii pi?" Vivi posed, thinking that since Pyrrha was the one who helped him unlock his Aura in the first place, she could also help him learn to control his Semblance better.
"Yeah, but I kinda just told her that I needed time to figure some stuff about myself, so it would be super awkward to ask for something like that now."
"Pipii pipipipi piipii pi!" the plushie adamantly insisted, frantically waving her tiny arms. Despite Weiss-sama being the ultimate target her (and Velvet's) affections, even she could tell that the Arkos was strong with Jaune and Pyrrha, and it was way past time that they stopped beating around the bush about it and just kiss, dammit!
"Look, I know she likes me, and she knows I like her. I just...need to convince myself of a few things before anything can happen." He got up from the sofa and brushed off his pants. "Anyway, thanks for listening, I need to get back to my room before Nora decides to erect another sloth shrine on my bed or something. See you later." And with that, he left.
Vivi reached after the blond knight feebly, ultimately faceplanting in defeat.
"Pi...," she sighed, hoping the next patient would be more reasonable.
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Weiss Schnee
"I AM NOT JEALOUS OF MY SISTER'S BODY! So what if she looks like the wet dreams of degenerate perverts and the very picture of grace and sophistication at the same time? Pshaw! I have an adorable dunce of a loyal girlfriend and my chest is adequate! ADEQUATE, I SAY!"
Note to self, Vivi thought to herself as the Schnee heiress ranted about her bust size (or lack thereof), the mother of all sweatdrops hanging from her terrycloth brow, abandon all hope, ye who enter...
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Glynda Goodwitch
"I appreciate you being able to take time out of your busy schedule to see me, Miss Vivi," Glynda said, smoothing out her pencil skirt as she sat on the sofa.
Vivi held up her stubbly arm in the universal "hold on a minute" gesture. "'Piipi'," she corrected the bespectacled teacher.
"Of course, 'Doctor'. My apologies."
Vivi leaned back in her chair and crossed one stubbly leg over the other, resting her arms on top. "Pipi pi," she said, motioning for Glynda to proceed.
"*Ahurm*, yes, well...You promise not to breath a word of what I tell you to anyone else?"
Vivi nodded her assurance.
Glynda breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, you don't know how nerve wracking it is when the Diary you thought was private ends up on the Dustnet..."
"Pi?" Vivi raised her eyebrow.
"I'm sure you must have heard about it by now, with how abnormally fast news seems to travel here.
You see, I started writing a Diary around when I was 12, as a way to cope with the insane that, despite my best efforts, managed to weasel its way into my life. Honestly though, things weren't too bad for until I began attending Beacon; Alexander, Seigfried and their Four Horsemen, the Cosplay cannons, Moe zombies, Yin Xiao-Long in a...Bavarian milkmaid outfit...and a swimsuit...and a towel..."
There was an almost minuscule bit of red leaking from Glynda's nose.
"Pii...?" Vivi try to get the senior Teacher's attention by snapping her finger at her, (an impressive feat, considering she had no fingers), finally achieving her desired result after two or three tries.
"Hmm? Oh, sorry, I must have spaced out for a moment there. I didn't say anything...indecent, did I?"
"...," Vivi said, sheepishly rubbing the back of her head.
"I see. If you'll excuse me..." Glynda rose and headed out the door, slamming it closed with a wave of her riding crop.
The sweatdrops decided to make their triumphant return.
Glynda never did address her minor nosebleed, did she?
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Yang Xiao-Long
"...And my 'friend' just can't work up the courage to tell her crush that she loves her! It's like, every time 'she' tries, she somehow ruins the moment and things get all awkward and weird for the rest of the day."
Vivi nodded knowingly, making a note on her clipboard. Despite her attempts at covering it up, the plushie knew that Yang was talking about herself. It was rather obvious that she had at least a tiny crush on Blake, even though by all indications the Manly Faunus hadn't picked up on it, or reciprocated her feelings in that way.
It actually reminded her a lot her a lot of how Jaune and Pyrrha used to be before the Yuletide Dance.
And we all know how enjoyable that was for three years straight!
Opting not to immerse herself deeper into that frustration, Vivi instead veered the topic of conversation in a different direction, remembering something from the Beauty Pageant.
"Pipipii pipi pipi-pipi?" she asked, rather bluntly.
"Oh yeah, that was fun! You placed second runner up, right?"
"Pi!" Vivi nodded, remembering how proud she was to actually place. "Pi pipipipi pipii pipi."
"They did, didn't they?" Yang said, the traces of a sneer entering her voice, "Everybody just loved Winter!" She huffed, "Not like I was bringing the Sexy for years already...!"
"Pipiipipi pipi," the plushie version of Weiss pointed out.
"But hers is bigger!" the blonde protested. "Seriously, she has a fan club of hundreds of fellow students, despite only being back for a few months, but mine barely has 40, even though I've been around longer? How does that even happen?"
Vivi made a note on her clipboard: "Yang Xiao-Long: Inferiority complex."
"I mean, have you looked at me?" Yang continued, "I'm gorgeous! I practically invented the Sexy! I'm the fricking Goddess of the Sexy! So what if she's 'demure' and 'innocent' and 'classy', she isn't even brave enough to show a little skin!" She gestured to her own outfit, her eyebrow twitching slightly, "See this? This is sexy! Not...whatever Grandma clothes Winter wears! Hell, she didn't even ware a proper bikini for the swimsuit portion of the pageant!"
OK, now things were starting to get a little out of hand.
"Pi pipipi-"
"NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" she hollered, "This has gone on long enough! Today, I will RECLAIM THE SEXY!" She then began chanting "Reclaim the Sexy, reclaim the Sexy..." while occasionally letting out brief bursts of spastic chuckling.
Also, her twitch began more pronounced.
Vivi sighed, tiredly taking out Slugger; she was disappointed that she actually had to use her weapon, but Yang was starting to take off her cutoff biker jacket, and Vivi really didn't want to have to deal with that once it got past the point of no return.
Before she did that, she quickly grabbed her clipboard and made a slight alteration to her note from before.
It now read "Yang Xiao-Long: [RAGING] Inferiority complex".
"Reclaim the Sexy, reclaim the Sexy, reclaim the Sexy-" *bonk!* "Ow, the back of my head!"
She fainted.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Winter Schnee
"And you're sure that what I say will be kept in the strictest confidence?" Winter asked the decidedly more ragged looking Vivi, who was not looking forward to repeating the episode with Glynda. (And that was one of the milder sessions!)
"Pi...," Vivi nodded, motioning for the graceful Huntress to continue.
"Thank you Dr. Vivi. I must confess...I'm really not sure how this is supposed to work. I've heard about that Commoners visit these places, but I've never been to one myself..."
"Pi pi," the plushie assured her, "pipipi pi pipipii pipipipipi."
"Very well, if you insist." She cleared her throat, "I suppose I am 'doing alright', as the Commoners say."
"Pi. Pii...pi-pipi pipipi pipi?" Vivi asked.
"Not that I can think of, I had quite a pleasant time at the Dance. Mostly..." The demure Schnee bent her head to the floor, wringing her hands dejectedly.
"Pipi?" Vivi wondered, sensing some unresolved emotions brewing under Winter's normally calm and composed exterior.
"Well...I'm not sure I feel comfortable talking about this, even if it's said in confidence."
Vivi jumped over to the sofa and climbed up on Winter's shoulder, patting her cheek comfortingly.
"Pipipipi," she said gently, "pipi piipiipi pi, pipipi pipi pii pipi."
"OK, I trust you." Winter took a deep breath and steeled herself, ready to unload her worries. "I'm sure it's no secret that Jaune Arc is an expectational young man," she began, "and even taking his Semblance out of the equation, people can't help but be drawn to his finer qualities." A light blush graced her cheeks, "And, I'm also sure that it's no secret that I might have affectionate feelings for him as well."
Vivi didn't necessarily like where this was going, but nodded anyway. She was a professional and all, and she was also a bit of a softie (pun intended) for romance; she'd at least hear Winter out.
"For a while I assumed it was just the affects of his Semblance," she continued, "although deep down I always suspected that there was something more than simple infatuation. And who wouldn't be attracted to his kindly demeanor, or his desire for justice, or his dreamy eyes with a touch of sadness in them..."
"Pi pi!" Vivi said, snapping her (nonexistent) fingers by the elder Schnee sister's face.
Thankfully, it worked better than it had with Glynda.
"A-a-anyway," she stuttered, "I knew that Miss Nikos also held genuine feelings for him, and that he cared for her as well. And I thought when he agree to accompany both of us to the Dance that the situation might possibly end happily for all of us, or more selfishly, that it would end well for me." She sniffled. "I foolishly never considered that I would be the one to have their heart broken..."
Vivi quickly fished out a tiny handkerchief from her dress and dabbed the tears welling up in the corners of Winter's eyes.
"Thank you... I'm sorry, I know it isn't proper to lose control of my emotions like this, but, *sniff*...I can't seem to help myself!" She then burst into anguished sobs, letting her head fall into her hands as she weeped.
Vivi made herself comfortable on the delicate shoulder and patted the back of Winter's head, trying to comfort the poor woman.
After a while the sobs subsided and Vivi held a larger handkerchief out to Winter, who now sported puffy, bloodshot eyes. Yet somehow still managing to look graceful.
"Again, I apologize," she told Vivi as she accepted the cloth, dabbing her eyes, "it was unseemly of me, and it wasn't fair to monopolize so much of your time."
"Pipipi," Vivi assured her, waving dismissively, "pipipipiipi pipi."
"Well, I apologize all the same, and thank you for putting up with my emotional outbreak." She stuffed the kerchief into her sleeve before rubbing her arm awkwardly, unsure of how to break the awkwardness. "So...what happens now?"
"...Pipi pipipi?" Vivi suggested.
"Oh. But, um, shouldn't there be more talking? It doesn't seem fair that you don't get a chance to contribute."
Vivi shook her head, "Pipipipi pi pipii pii."
"If you insist, you are the Doctor after all." She stood up and gave the sentient plushie a respectful bow. "I hope the next time we cross paths it will be less...draining." And with that she left.
Vivi hopped back in her chair and let out an adorable breath, all the emotional fatigue of the past dozen or so sessions piling on her at once. Which didn't mean she didn't feel satisfied with how Winter's session turned out, Monty knows the girl could use a good cry after seeing her crush choose her rival over her, but comforting a heartbroken débutante tended to drain one emotionally, regardless of intention.
"Reclaim the Sexy...," Yang moaned from the floor, before once again being bonked on the head by Slugger.
As she called up Beacon's medical staff to come take care of the blond brawler, she sent out a silent prayer that the next person would be normal and easy to help.
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Nora Valkyrie
"...so then I figured 'What the hey? Maybe the next one will taste better', and boy was I wrong! Pro tip, blue crayons taste way more tart than regular blueberries. I mean, the purple crayons tasted like grapes, and people like grapes, so it only makes sense that the blue ones should taste like blueberries! But anyway, after I managed to throw up the blue crayons, I began to wonder how may of the other colors tasted like their respective fruits?"
Vivi was slamming her head into the seat of her chair, little "poof" noises sounding with each impact. Nora started out nice enough, but when she the bubbly berserker how she was doing (as a matter of courtesy), she'd immediately flopped onto the sofa and began recounting her life story, starting from the very beginning.
Vivi was considering getting Yang back so she could listen to her rant about "Reclaiming the Sexy!" instead of this!
"...and after pulled me out of the wreckage of my sloth trap, we..."
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
"You're retiring?" Ozpin was legitimately shocked to find the adorable, miniature stuffed Weiss in his office again.
"Pi," she nodded.
"But it hasn't even been a full day yet," he noted, "would you mind sharing your reasons?"
Vivi merely handed Ozpin a piece of paper, too tired to properly articulate why she didn't want the gig anymore. He took a moment to peruse it.
"...you feel that you're not qualified? Not that I'm doubting your judgment, but if that's the case, then why didn't you say something before?"
"Pipi pi pipipi," she said, roughly translated to "Keep reading".
"...hmm, so, you feel that you don't possess the emotional fortitude to deal with other people's problems all day, and that you're doing more harm than good as a result?" he summarized.
"Pi," she nodded.
"Fair enough, I'll make an announcement letting everyone know that you'll no longer be available in an official capacity." He set the letter on his desk and grabbed his mug of coffee. "Feel free to leave, I'm sure Velvet is waiting for you."
Vivi stood up and bowed to the headmaster, and headed into the elevator.
As the gondola descended back to the School, Vivi's Scroll beeped its "message received" tone. She opened it up and tapped the blinking icon.
"Um, hello Vivi. I was informed that this was the most expedient way to contact you, and that returning to your office a second time would be a faux pas. I know that you are probably busy at the moment, but if you can make some time in your schedule then I would like it if you would have tea with me. I have...many things on my mind, and I was hoping that you would be willing to help me sort through them. I promise I will do my best not to weep like a little child this time, so...possibly? I don't have any plans for the rest of the day, so come to my room if you decide to join me."
As the message finished Vivi opened up her Contact's list and selected Velvet's, typing up a message explaining where she was going to be for the next while.
She was still drained from an afternoon of listening to everyone's psychological (or otherwise, in some cases...) problems, but tea actually sounded pretty good at the moment.
And Lord knows she deserved a little "her" time after listening to Nora's life story...
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
There you go, folks; another one done and in the can! Thanks again to ElfCollaborator for allowing me to write about one of the best original characters from his Weiss Reacts fics, I always have fun playing with Vivi!
...that sounded different in my head.
One thing about this one that's different from the "Adorable Misadventure" is that it takes place at a specific point in the chronology of the stories; I deliberately wrote the first Vivi one shot so that could take place anywhere after chapter 48 of Volume 1, which is where Vivi is first introduced into the story (though chapter 55 of Volume 2 finally put a wall at the other end of that canyon), but this one is meant to happen almost directly after the events of chapter 16 of Volume 3, give or take a day or three, and I recommend reading at least that and the three preceding chapters to better understand why what happened in a couple of the sessions happened.
Expect for Cinder, the joke there is that she has a burrito fixation.
Anywho, feel free to check out "Vivi's Adorable Misadventure", my previous Vivi one shot, as well as my other RWBY fics. I love getting feedback, and anything that will help me improve my craft is always welcome.