Heyo! I'm back with a Uo-centric fanfic. I seem to really like her character lol. So this idea has been on my mind for quite a while. I really loved Uo's relationship with Kyoko and Tohru, and I wanted to explore that relationship after the Red Butterfly's death. There is a healthy dose of Hatsuharu in the mix (Haru x Uo addict here). I hope I do their characters justice. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket. All characters and plot are property of Natsuki Takaya.
xx
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
x
Nothing Gold Can Stay
Robert Frost
x
The cool black tombstone met the rigid life line of her palm as she leaned in closer. When she ran trembling fingertips down, the artful kanji strokes made their descent down her fingerprints. She knew that name would be forever etched on her body. It already felt like the markings in cold, sleek onyx was carving its way onto her skin, leaving wounds and scar tissue.
The gangly teen met her own eyes in the reflection. Gleaming back at her was her usual face, cheeks dusted with careless scrapes, a wayward bandage affixed hastily on her newest battle scar. Her eyes were still cerulean, even in this ghostly reflection. They even still carried an undercurrent of her trademark smirk and cocky attitude. But her gaze was so different now.
Everything was different now.
She once wildly believed that she would be forever young and invincible. But she knew how foolish that hope was. Eyes that once held life and spark, that boastful attitude of being above even God Himself, were now cold and flat. She'd seen firsthand how delicate and fragile life truly was. Nothing was eternal. Nothing gold could stay.
The short-haired flaxen blonde pulled down the surgical mask that covered her nose and mouth from view. She even donned one of the Red Butterfly's old Yankee trench coats in her memory, although she knew she could never fill her wings the way she had. The coat was slouchy and slightly oversized on her skinny frame; this made sense since the previous owner was taller and more buxom. The sleeves spilled over her hands, which meant that she'd spent a great deal of time scrunching the extra fabric to her elbows. It was no use. The sleeves were adamant in their placement.
Uotani wrapped the coat tighter across her body as she shivered. As she looked up, she noticed storm clouds rolling past in an almost-white sky. It would be winter soon.
"I can't believe it, Kyoko-san… It's already been a year," Uo said hoarsely. She cleared her throat as though the words were an unsavory morsel of food that she'd tried to swallow down hastily. She dropped her chin to look down at the beautiful arrangement of flowers and fruit offerings that Tohru, Hana, and countless other friends, gang members (both active and not), and family had laid before her tomb.
Like a limp rag doll, she dropped to her hands and knees. She was too overcome with memories of her beloved Kyoko, her perfect Red Butterfly, to stand still. Uo was eye level with a recently lit arrangement of incense. The spicy scent invaded her senses and made her eyes burn, but she couldn't bring herself to stand back up. Her tears quickly brimmed over dark lower lashes, only to spill over her cheeks. Uo felt the unavoidable nasal drip, but she wouldn't dare rub her nose on the sleeves. Her breath rushed out in ragged installments that shook her heart and lungs.
"Goddammit, Kyoko-san!" she exclaimed between hiccuping sobs. It was no use. The sleeves became her fortress as she buried her face in the fabric. Even the coat still smelled like her. It was as if God was playing a cruel joke on her. She could practically imagine Him sitting back leisurely to enjoy the spectacle she was making of herself. Imagine her, Uotani Arisa, once proud and reckless Yankee screwup thug, cold and vindictive as she got herself into countless scrapes and endless victories, now crying like a helpless child.
"It's not fair!" she screamed against the sleeves as she clenched her fists and pounded them into the ground. "You said you were going to teach me how to ride a motorcycle just like you… You always said I was too reckless and crazy… even though you were the exact same way." She hiccupped. Red taillights and the expert rider's gleeful laugh as she sped away into the night gleamed in her memories. She could almost see Kyoko's long auburn hair whipping its way through the darkness as her trench coat fanned out so gracefully behind her.
"You were so reckless and crazy. Always speeding like a maniac. But dammit you looked so beautiful doing that. I really looked up to you. I wanted to be just like you. I still want to be just like you. But now you're gone, and Tohru-kun can't stop crying even though she tries to act so happy and cheerful. Why did you go, Kyoko-san? Why?!"
Her unanswered question echoed through the quiet, stark cemetery. The sickening silence weighed heavily upon her. The answer would never come directly to her, but deep down she knew. It was simply a case of wrong timing. A missed turn. A speeding driver. The collision, scrape of cold metal against human flesh at full velocity. That car accident affected so many lives in the aftermath of its destruction.
And Kyoko, the Red Butterfly once full of vivacity, was ripped away from this Earth.
If only I could…
But before she could finish the macabre thought of exchanging places, an unexpected voice met her exclamation.
"Don't you think you're being a bit unfair?"
At the sound, a decidedly male voice despite the prepubescent pitch, she picked her head up from the cold concrete. Sorrow, misplaced rage, regret and that ever encompassing emptiness came to blows within her mind. Still shaking, she raised her gaze to the brazen boy who dared to interfere with her grief and make a mockery of it.
A shock of wild white hair sat atop a pale face with steady steel eyes. From her position, the boy towered over her, but she knew if she stood at her full height, he would rest slightly below her line of sight. The intruder wore all black except for the white and black plaid flannel tied casually around his slim hips. A silver cross dangled from his neck, but his spiky black bracelets clashed heavily with the simple pendant. His mouth was neither smiling nor frowning. He simply was.
And that cool gaze was still pouring into her, so empty and emotionless.
It made her feel both terribly exposed and terribly jealous of his calm.
But rage quickly covered both vulnerable thoughts. How dare he, she seethed as she bared her teeth in a warning scowl.
Uo quickly scrambled to her feet. "Just who the hell do you think you're talking to, kid?" she snarled cruelly, fists at her sides. "Mind your own damn business why don'tcha?"
The strange white-haired boy stepped forward. "See, I would," he explained slowly and flatly. "Except you were screaming and carrying on so loudly. You interrupted my nap."
Is this kid for real? Uo wondered as she stared at him, puzzled. She was taken aback. That wasn't the response she was expecting, especially from someone so young. First of all, this kid couldn't be more than ten, maybe eleven. Most kids she gave her trademark Uo Yankee thug snarl would piss their pants and run crying to Mommy. But he was still standing there, so stoic yet so ditzy at the same time.
The outburst came without thinking. "Who the fuck takes a nap in a cemetery anyway? Have some respect for the dead!" she cried shrilly.
He quickly jerked his head to his left. His neck issued a sharp crack in the still air. The sound kind of gave her the creeps, but dammit if she would let him know it. But his satisfied sigh let her know that he finally had some relief from stiff joints, even if his face didn't show it. He rubbed the side of his neck softly.
"I got lost," he said softly. She had to lean in to hear him properly. "I couldn't find my way out and I got tired, so I napped under a maple tree. No big deal."
His flippant attitude solidified one indisputable fact in her mind.
He's definitely nuts, she concluded as she finally rose to her full height. She felt a petty pang of satisfaction when she found that the boy was actually a full two centimeters below the crown of her head. The left side of her lips curled up in an unkind sneer as she looked down her nose at the white and black-haired boy.
She leaned forward slightly. The ends of her bluntly razored hair brushed against her cheeks as she dusted off some soil from her long pleated skirt. Not once did she break her piercing eye contact, but to her dismay, neither did he. He was a tough opponent: hard to intimidate, and even harder to figure out. At first glance, he seemed perfectly harmless (if a little cheeky and a bit of a hard-nosed brat). But there was some veil of enigmatic sadness that cloaked him. For someone of his age, he seemed more worldly and world-weary than most.
He's like me…
She roughly shoved the unwanted thought aside. I'm nothing like him, she argued back, though she felt some unease in that retaliation.
The stranger crossed his arms, mirroring her actions. It didn't escape her attention, which only served to piss her off even more. "I hope you're not blaming this nice lady for her death," he intoned, nudging his chin in the direction of Kyoko's grave.
"Wh—Wh—What did you just say?" she sputtered wildly, a blush on her cheeks as she crossed her arms even tighter across herself. Hot indignation burned its way through her stomach, through her esophagus until she could practically taste her rage. This poker-faced brat was getting all too familiar with her, and especially with the recently deceased Kyoko.
A dark shadow flickered over his poker faced features at the retort. If she hadn't been looking closely, she would've surely missed it. The boy's irises clouded over like the storm clouds above their heads. A small furrow dented his brow as he averted his gaze. "Did she…?" he started cautiously, then shook his head. "I'm sorry. Forget it. It's none of my business. I apologize."
Uo's stomach churned. A cold sweat dotted her brow, but she forced her tone to be steady. She was embarrassed by her outpouring but like the cold raindrops that started to dance lightly in the autumn air, she couldn't help but spill everything.
She took a deep breath.
"Kyoko-san is—was my best friend's mom. She was my… mentor in a sense. She passed away a year ago today. Terrible car accident. It was rainy and slick and the driver didn't see her cross the road." Uo paused to wind her arms around her waist. She shivered as she studied her toes. The hot tears stung her eyelids. She never felt so exposed and bare before, and in front of some no name kid no less. It wasn't like her to be so open. Kyoko, Tohru, and Hana changed her for the better. She was a bleeding heart now. But she never thought she'd be so open with a complete stranger. It was confusing but cathartic at the same time.
"I see," he murmured slowly, holding steady in his gaze. He stepped forward once and reached his alabaster hand forward. The fingers were slender and gracefully, Uo noticed. But just as soon as the hand drew forth, it darted back suddenly like a startled animal. He coughed abruptly. For some reason, the sound drew forth a smirk on her lips.
"I'm sorry for your loss," he mumbled to his feet, shifty eyed and nervous for reasons unknown. He resorted to crossing his arms instead of shrugging into his long-sleeved flannel for warmth. The raindrops were pattering down a little more insistently this time, but neither of them even mentioned it.
Uo shrank into the long pink trench coat and tucked her chin close to her body, conserving her body heat in the garment.
The boy looked far into the distance. "My grandmother was buried here," he started out of the blue. "I came to visit her grave. I even brought flowers. But then I got lost and I found a maple tree to nap under. I couldn't help myself. I was so tired. And then when I woke up, I heard you screaming."
Uo cocked her head to one side. "You couldn't find her grave?" she asked slowly. The cemetery wasn't as large as others in their town. Did this strange sleepy boy get lost in his own bathtub? She wouldn't put it past him.
"I found her grave eventually," he deadpanned. "But I couldn't find the exit. So I got tired and fell asleep."
Uo thrust her finger over his shoulder. "The exit's not that far. And this cemetery isn't that big in the first place. God… You're hopeless. You probably get lost in your own house."
He looked up at the heavens with a thoughtful expression. "It's happened before… The Main House is very large," he explained matter-of-factly.
The trench coat-clad girl stared at him wide-eyed. What? Main House? Just who is this kid?
"Wow…. A rich boy," she mused with a bit of an edge to her voice.
He shrugged noncommittally in response. "Anyway…" His voice turned soft and serious, even more serious than his trademark monotone. It was quite an impressive feat. Her ears couldn't help but tune in to his words. "Our family is very wealthy," he admitted without an ounce of gloating. "The house and grounds are very large. We even have our own private cemetery for family use only. My grandmother… Her name was Sohma Atsuko-sama. She was buried here, far away from our family." He paused to gesture widely to the modest cemetery.
"But why?" she asked in a cracked whisper.
They locked eyes. A gust of wind carrying blood-red maple leaves rushed past. The rain held steady.
"The head of my family's mother… Ren-sama… didn't approve of her marrying my grandfather. He was a Sohma, a very wealthy, influential one at that. My maternal grandmother was a poor girl from the countryside. Ren-sama didn't approve of the marriage. She fought them till the end of time. Even after she was dead. She wouldn't even let her be buried next to her husband. It must've been her way to keep them apart in death since she couldn't do it when she was alive."
She'd forgotten to take a breath. Uo blinked forcefully, bringing herself out of his story. Her greedy lungs took in the late autumn air. It smelled like earth and rain and plant life.
"I'm sorry," she managed to say. "How old were you when she passed?"
"I never met her," he said gently. "She died of a heart attack when I was born. But my mom told me stories about her all the time. How gentle and understanding she was. How warm and full of life. She always had a smile and a kind word for everyone she met. I wanted to pay my respects. I wasn't all that close with my grandfather either. But I felt more kinship with her even though I don't remember her at all."
Hearing about his grandmother made him think of another optimist who changed her life. One with a kind heart, a naïve but good-natured soul who, along with her mother, changed her for the better. Imagining the smiling Tohru with Kyoko slung around her shoulders made Uo smile. There were still tears in her eyes, but the pain was transformed into a bittersweet pang.
I still have Tohru-kun, she reminded herself, smiling. She's the greatest gift Kyoko-san's ever given me.
Coughing, Uo turned her head sharply to hide the tears diamonding the whites of her eyes. This strange sleepy boy who got lost even in his own bathroom no doubt ended up soothing her sadness. But she didn't want him to know how he affected her. His head would swell too much.
It's crazy, she mused, reminiscing. I used to be so closed off. But now I'm pouring my heart out to this stranger… And apparently he is too, she thought with a soft chuckle as she watched him brush invisible dirt from his ripped jeans. Despite his cool and calm stoic appearance, apparently he wasn't immune to embarrassment. That touch of humanity in this cold android-like shell of a person made her smile.
"Well," he said with a fist to his mouth before he coughed once. His eyes darted to what looked like the general direction of the side of her lips before flickering to meet her stare. "If you believe in an afterlife, our loved ones are always watching and looking after us. That should be a comfort."
The thought of Kyoko as a beautiful angel with snow-white wings unfurled in her mind. She could practically see her luminous halo in her mind's eye. The thought filled her heart with a bittersweet pang.
Maybe the Red Butterfly hasn't lost her wings after all. Rest easy, Kyoko-san. Fly with the angels. Don't cause too much trouble up in heaven.
A sudden burst of laughter bubbled from her lips. The sound was so sharp and abrupt that it almost sounded as if she were clearing her throat and coughing at the same time. He lifted an eyebrow in response, which made her cackle even harder. Finally, his poker face was ruined.
Tears raced down her cheeks as she held her midsection, doubled over in complete hysterical laughter as he watched in confusion. He would never know how much Kyoko meant—still means—to her. He would never learn her secrets. And that was okay. It was okay that she was sharing her grief and happiness and hysteria with a perfect stranger whom she was positive she would never see again.
Through her blurred vision, she saw a blob of white fabric appear under her nose.
"Here."
She brought her gaze towards his voice. It was such a cliché to think of time stopping in significant moments of understanding. But it was the only way to describe how she felt looking into his granite eyes. Within the charcoal depths she saw warmth and wisdom and understanding that exceeded his youthful face.
"God…," she swore, taking the handkerchief with a short bow. She rose again and blotted her eyes with the cloth.
A sideways smile pulled at the left corner of his lips. His eyes sparkled when he focused his gaze on her teary face. "You know, you're kinda cute. Too bad you're completely crazy," he joked with a soft chuckle. His grin blossomed into a full smile showing brilliant (albeit small) white teeth.
Uo felt her face redden. Feeling the blush made her cheeks warm even more. She didn't know she was capable of turning this red. Damn him. "Why, you—?! You fast little brat," she fumed. "What do you mean completely crazy? I'll knock you out!"
"Hahaha. The cute ones are always crazy."
"Y-You probably still have your milk teeth, little boy," she mumbled out of the side of her mouth as she looked away bashfully. "How old are you anyway?"
"Heh. I'll have you know, I'm a very mature twelve and a half," he boasted as he fixed his posture up ramrod straight, puffing out his chicken chest with a smug smile.
"Just had to add the half in there huh."
"Well I'll be going on thirteen soon. Give me some credit will ya?"
"Sigh. You know nothing of women. You're too young. Give it up. You're hopeless."
"I prefer to think of it as eager to learn."
"I'm way too old for you kid. And by the way, ick. Just. No."
"I happen to have a thing for older women."
Uo blinked hard to get rid of the last of her blurry tears. Was he really hitting on her in a graveyard? His blank expression and matter-of-fact way of speaking made it hard to tell when he was serious and when he was joking. But she liked how thick-skinned he was and quick-witted. It was strange. He's like a brilliant idiot, she mused.
Her arms fell to her sides, handkerchief dangling from her fingers. She looked down at her feet. Patches of green grass dotted the ground. It was as if the ground was molting.
Everything is dying, she thought sadly. It was true. It would be winter soon. The trees were already losing their leaves, leaving scraggly branches behind. Kyoko's fruit and incense offerings would be covered in autumn rain and leaves first, followed by frost and snow.
But then spring will come and everything will bloom, she reminded herself. I'm sure of it.
After what seemed like eons, Uo looked up.
"Thanks, kid. Here's your handker—"
But her expression of gratitude fell on deaf ears.
He was gone.
Huh? she wondered as she looked around with wild eyes. Where did he go? He couldn't have gone far. He's a total space cadet.
Right?
But there was no trace of him left. Not even footprints in the dirt and grass.
Did I imagine him? Was he a ghost? Uo shivered as her mind entertained the possibilities. Huh. What a weird kid.
The only evidence she had of him was a crumpled silk handkerchief with delicate blue lace. She brought it to her face again and inhaled. She smelled a musky and pleasing scent, most likely a cologne.
Even his cologne smells expensive… she thought with a blush.
Uo held out her hands, expecting to feel drizzle. But the soft rain had stopped. She hadn't even noticed.
Amidst the hazy clouds, she found some sunlight bleeding through. It wasn't long until the clouds slowly parted. What erupted was a beautiful array of pinks and purples, along with a warm orange and glowing yellow center.
Uo felt awed by the sight. "What a pretty sunset," she murmured to herself as she pulled the long sleeves of the pink trench tight across her body. It almost matched her vibrant coat.
A line from an almost forgotten poem came to mind as she watched the sun sink into oblivion.
Nothing gold can stay.
But the phrase didn't carry the same sadness it once did when she first heard it. Nothing good would last forever. It was a popular theory that the good died young and that beauty would eventually fade.
Perhaps that was true, but not all was lost. Life was a cycle after all. Birth and death. A time for growth and a time for slumber before spring came once again.
Goodbye, stranger, she told that weird and wonderful boy who made her smile again.
xx
But it wouldn't be a final goodbye.
She found herself seriously rethinking the phrase when, in her junior year of high school, Tohru introduced her to Sohma Hatsuharu-kun.
He was nameless no more.
Their gazes crossed paths, electric with recognition and remembrance.
When she looked into those eyes and saw that wild black and white mane, it was unmistakable.
It was him.
Nothing gold can stay?
More like…
Gold will always find a way.