The Revelation

Set after the end of True Blood Season 3 and includes some Season 4 themes. Started before Season 4 had even commenced screening and completed last year.

Sookie battles with coming to terms with Bill's betrayal.

Chapter 1 is Sookie's point of view, Bill gets his story in later.

I do not own the characters and have only borrowed them from Alan Ball, HBO and Charlaine Harris and will return them unharmed once finished with them.

Chapter 1

"Girl, what you need is some good old fashioned fun" Tara said with her hands on her hips and a look in her eye. "You've been walking through life like a god dam Zombie for the last three months and it's time you stopped girl and started living again. And I'm not taking no for an answer neither." Before I got a word out of my mouth she was off again. "Now don't you go telling me that there are such things as Zombies either cause I don't want to hear one more thing about anymore Supe shit, I've had more than my fill of all that crap for this life time."

We were standing in my lounge room, daylight streaming through the net curtains lighting up the freshly painted walls, giving a glow to the newly polished furniture. Gran would have been so pleased to see the place back to the way it always was, she took so much pride in her house. I had finally been able to clean away the last traces of Maenad madness that had covered all the rooms. A fresh coat of paint and some new wall paper had brought it back to being a home again and even though to others the furniture would now stand out glaringly, its shabbiness emphasised even more now than before, to me it was comforting to have the familiar around me and boy, right now I could use any comfort I could get.

It had been 3 months, 1 week and 2 days since The Revelation, but who's counting. Okay, so I am. Reminder to myself, stop counting the days, minutes, seconds since Bill and I broke up or more precisely, since Eric's revelation had torn my heart to pieces and I stopped living. I couldn't and still can't bring myself to think of it as 'breaking up with my boyfriend' cause it was more than that, much more than that. The only way I can think of it is in terms of 'The Revelation' cause it wasn't just about Bill, it was also about Vamps too and it was about me.

Yes, I am not the first girl to have her heart broken and yes, I am not the first girl to feel so betrayed by the person she lost her virginity to. I may be blonde but I am not that stupid. It happens every day. Girl meets boy check, girl falls in love check, boy gets what he wants check, boy betrays girl…. game over. But I am not one of those girls and never have been. I never expected to fall in love because I never thought I could have any kind of normal relationship, if you could call a telepath going out with a Vampire a normal relationship. I guess I just thought for so long that I would never be able to you know, find someone who I could actually let get close enough to do it with that I thought we had something special going. Something more than what it was. I guess I was wrong. And now, here it is 3 months, 1 week and 2 days later and I am still just surviving.

I don't know how I have been living the last 3 months. Through the numbness I can only remember snatches of time, vague episodes of hurt, hate and hopelessness here and there. I do have vivid recollections of lonely nights curled up in a ball with utter despair but I also cringe and break out in a cold sweat remembering the very worst night where, in complete madness and fury I planned to take that short walk through the cemetery to Bill's house and stake his cold dead heart. I was shocked at the feelings I had and ashamed. I wasn't bought up to be a vengeful person, I was bought up a Christian and good southern lady and in my exhausted and despairing state I had fallen asleep. That was the first small turning point that I had for while asleep, I had dreamt of Gran.

She came to me as she had been the night she first met Bill when she was so happy that I had a date and even though it was with a Vampire, she had not been judgemental at all, if anything she too had been accepting and excited by what Bill was. With light shining all around her she simply said 'he's a good man', that was all, then she was gone. When I woke in the morning for the first time in all that dreadful time I no longer felt angry, the bitterness had gone to be replaced by an overwhelming empty sadness. I had lost everyone I had ever loved with all my heart. And now I was alone, well almost.

There were two more instances that had made me open my eyes a little more and they both happened at Merlottes. Just because my life had stopped didn't mean I stopped working. Things don't pay for themselves and fixing up the house had almost cleaned out my bank account so once again I threw myself into the grind and worked my shifts.

I thought at first this would be a god send having to concentrate so hard to keep my shield up would give me something better to do than think about what had happened but the emotional turmoil I was going through proved to be greater than my power to block out others thoughts at the time and this was more added misery for me. Hearing that I only had myself to blame and I got what I deserved by being dumped by a Vamp after whoring with a Were, or that I had supposedly been involved with a whole nest in Mississippi to the point where I needed a blood transfusion because I had let them drain me to such an extent, was just some of the more salacious thoughts I had picked up. But it was the sympathetic stuff going through Sam Merlotte's head that first got to me. I could feel Sam watching me with sadness in his eyes and although I knew that he meant well, his thoughts had drifted down the 'I told you so' track and it stung like crazy.

On the very same day Jason had come in to have his regular lunch of burger with La Las special sauce and a side of chilli fries. Without realising it I was in Jason's head before I knew it and his thoughts had been really easy for me to read …well it was Jason after all. I had been so shocked by what I heard that my mouth had dropped open and tears had spilled down my face before I had had the chance to stop myself. Jason was on Bill's side.

I was shocked and stunned and reeling at what I felt to be yet another betrayal and by the only other person that I thought I had left that might have cared about me. I some how managed to get through the rest of the shift and drive home.

I locked the doors and windows, pulled the blinds and took the phone off the hook. It was only then that I allowed myself to think about what I had seen in Jason's mind and analyse Sam's reactions. As much as I had always thought that Jason was no better than he should be as far as the many women in his life went, I had to admit that when he did have a girl for more than one night he did treat them so well that women loved him, so when I tried to logically evaluate what I had felt Jason was thinking I had to examine myself and my treatment of Bill. Jason's view had been what I thought entirely male in that he felt I had never given Bill a chance. I was always demanding, never listening to his side of things, taking Bill for granted and always above everything else, expecting things my way. That would be hard enough in any relationship for a male to deal with but in a relationship with a male Vamp, it would be impossible.

As for Sam, he knows me better than most people, his shifter senses understand me more than most others apart from Bill and my interpretation of 'I told you so' was not what he really meant. Because he knows me, he knows how hard I struggle with my ability and how that affects me. He also understands how hard it is to be a Supe trying to mainstream so I guess his 'I told you so' was genuinely meant in a sympathetic light. Sam knew how hard it would be to have a relationship with me and my demanding ways. Let's face it, I had to take a good hard look at myself and I didn't like what I was seeing.

I looked back to the very first night that Bill and I met. He had come in to Merlottes and if I was being honest with myself I had been pretty forward. I had been excited beyond belief that a Vamp had come in, let alone someone who I had been so instantly attracted to. There was no blood bond that first night to blame anything on. Bill had not forced me to go running out into the car park after him and the Rats. It was all my doing. And it was me that asked him to meet me after work on the second night and me that had invited him to speak at the DGD meeting and to meet Gran. I had been the one who had initiated the first kiss. I had been the one to ask to go to Fantasia insisting it wasn't a date but really expecting it to be one otherwise, I wouldn't have gone to all the trouble I did to look nice and expect Bill to tell me so. I had been the one running to Bill's house the night we first made love ….. it was me, all along it was me and even if Bill was initially acting under Queen Sophie Anne's orders, Bill could not have made me do anything that I didn't want to do because he couldn't glamour me, blood bond or no blood bond.

Bill had been willing to meet the sun for me, he had gone against Eric, gone against his very Vampire nature and even gone against his human characteristics that were so preciously preserved. He tried so hard to allow me to express my so called independence when every time I did, it plunged us into further troubles. He never once chastised me for this; he only worried and tried even harder to protect me without hindering that precious independence when all along I now see how much harm it was causing. He had always been there when I needed him and he was the one person that truly understood and shared the pain of my telepathic struggles with life.

I have not seen Bill since the night of the Revelation. In my previous irrational state even the fact that Bill had not come back offering unwanted explanations had infuriated me. I hadn't been willing to listen even if he had shown up but at the same time I had expected him to make the attempt. Adding to my fury was my disappointment when he didn't try to see me. I realised how totally unrealistic my expectations of Bill had been. I was a child wanting the sun, the moon and the stars, I wanted everything but on my own terms.

Instead, for what it's worth, Eric had shown up. He did not come inside as I had, after all, rescinded his invitation and I did not invite him in again. The first time he had come at dusk, flying in like some kind of god expecting to pick up the pieces of a forlorn and grieving Sookie Stackhouse pining away. I stood inside the front doorway while he looked up from the bottom of the porch steps watching me like a cat ready to pounce on its prey. If Eric was expecting me to be grateful to him for alerting me to what he considers to be the true facts of Bill's motivations, then he was sadly mistaken. When I rescinded his invitation I meant it and nothing had changed. He had left soon afterwards without pressing the issue but even at the time I felt that would not be the end of it.

Through the blood bond I had felt him outside the house on more than one occasion. He had sent me flowers or I should say he, more than likely, ordered Pam to send them and he had made an occasional supposedly casual call to see if I was alright or if I needed anything. I knew that through the bond he could feel every emotion that I was feeling, but it was only now that I realised how much more despicable Eric's actions had been.

Eric had tricked me. Eric had tricked me more than once. Eric had known that Bill had been sent by the Queen but had said nothing until that night. To me that's not something you would do if you cared for someone as Eric supposedly cared for me.

He had used me not just to go to Dallas for his own purposes but he had put me in danger with the Fellowship of the Sun. He had found Lorena and used her to trap Bill knowing full well the strength of a maker over its progeny. He had tricked me into drinking his blood. He had used me as Vampire crack and a means of day walking with Russell Edgington and above all else, he had put my relationship with Bill in jeopardy on countless occasions hoping we would split up and then finally declaring the truth, knowing that it would bring me so much pain, all just to try to get me. Now he expected me to fall into his arms on the rebound from Bill. Like that's ever going to happen now, NOT.

"Sook, I'm not taking no for an answer." Tara's words bought me back to reality. I had been reliving the past 3 months. Focussing, I knew that look in her eyes and I knew that she meant it and it would be useless to put up any kind of a fight so, I guess we are going out for a girls night out whether I want to or not.

To be continued…..