Title: Alphabet Soup 1/8
Characters: Kate, Kate/Jack
Summary: A series of drabbles. Kate's POV. Post The End
Anger
She is angry at him. She is angry at herself. She is not sure exactly anymore. She knows anger is a natural part of the process so she stops fighting it. She stops trying to rationalize it. And she does not even try to explain to Claire why the picture of them at Sayid and Nadia's wedding that used to sit on the mantle is now shattered on the floor at the other end of the living room.
Black
That's how she drinks her coffee now. She does not like it, never did. She remembers how he'd laugh at the face she'd make when she would accidently take a sip out of his mug. Milk and two sugars was how she'd take it, most days with him bringing it up to her in bed while she lay in the warmer part of the bed he'd just vacated. But that was then, and this is now. And now she drinks her coffee black. Just like he did.
Camera
She finds the camera in his bedside table during one of her numerous visits to his apartment. She does not remember ever seeing him with a camera, not when they'd take Aaron to the park, not during Aaron's birthday or when they'd gone to see the Red Sox when they came to LA. She starts crying from the first picture she sees, a picture of her and Aaron asleep on the couch. She remembers that evening. Aaron had insisted they stay up and wait for Jack to come home on his birthday, but Jack was held up in surer and they were both fast asleep by the time he came back home. Jack had carried Aaron up to his room and came back down to get her. She woke up to the warmth of his chest as he was climbing up the stairs. She remembers mumbling "happy birthday" against his neck. She barely recalls him whispering "thank you" as he kissed her hair.
She goes through the pictures as she curls up in his bed. It's an array of shots he had taken her knowing.; shots of her and Aaron, his family, around the house. There are pictures of Aaron watching cartoons, laughing and pointing at the screen, of Aaron having breakfast, his face smothered with peanut butter and jelly, of Aaron finger painting, his hands and shirt a rainbow of colors, of Aaron trying to steady his Lego tower and of his falling asleep in her lap, sucking his thumb and holding onto her shirt.
There are pictures of her she never noticed him take; a picture of her on the coldest night she had ever seen in LA, curled up on the couch, hugging her mug of hot chocolate, a picture of her reading to Aaron, a close up of her chewing the tip of the pen as the tackled the morning crossword puzzle. She completely breaks down at a close up of her, running her hand through her hair, the glimmer of her engagement ring flashing against the lens.