A/N: I don't own the song, 'Mr. Brightside' by The Killers, or Hey Arnold!

Song fic. After Arnold's first night out at college, his slightly-drunken mind takes him on a jealous journey through a night of passion.

Mr. Brightside

The hallways were quiet. It didn't surprise Arnold, it was the first Friday night of the new school year and he knew the students were taking advantage of the fact they had little work. His head spun as he tried to pull out his room key out of his pocket.

I'm coming out of my cage,

and I've been doing just fine,

gotta gotta be down,

because I want it all.

Arnold had been hesitant about going out, but his new roommate had convinced him to go out with him to a bar just off campus. The bar was an underground place run by college students, so they didn't ID.

Hillwood University was bigger than Arnold had expected. It was almost an hour away from his old neighborhood, but a lot of his old classmates attended the school. At last count, he could only name four who didn't go to HU.

Gerald Johansen, Arnold's best friend, went to California to pursue a voice over acting career. Rhonda Wellington Lloyd went to Europe on her parent's yacht. She was planning on pursuing a modeling career and to have a chance at designing clothes . Phoebe Hyderall, Gerald's girlfriend, went to Harvard. No one was surprised. And, as a shock to everyone, Harold Burman got a full scholarship to the University of Florida to be the replacement quarterback for Tim Tebow.

But the biggest surprise of Arnold's night was seeing Helga at the bar. Seeing her at the bar in a barely there dress on the arm of. . .Arnold waited until the figured turned, only to feel his stomach drop. His roommate was on a date with Helga.

Helga was his past bully. As embarrassing as it was, it was true. She didn't beat him, instead she used vicious words. In the end, it was just a cover up. Helga had claimed to be in love with him. She confessed in fourth grade, and Arnold didn't believe it. He couldn't! His bully was in love with him! It sounded like something out of a crazy teen comedy.

But it was true.

A relationship never occurred from the confession. He dated other girls in middle school and high school, but deep in the back of his mind, he'd compare every girl to Helga. How that girl's eyes weren't as blue as Helga's, or that girl's smile wasn't as bright. How she never insulted him or made him blush.

Arnold was dense. Extremely dense. He didn't understand why he compared the girls to Helga. The idea was lost on him. Just like this jealous knot settling in his stomach. Why he felt it, he didn't know.

He quickly ignored the shock, drinking the night away with a few beers. He danced with a few girls, joked with a few classmates and learned the rules of beer pong. It was almost midnight when Arnold started to feel the affects of the alcohol.

His hazy eyes set on her immediately. She was wrapped around him, hand slipped into the back of his jean pocket. His arm was draped casually around her shoulders, keeping her close. He quickly dipped her back, lips locked with hers.

That's when Arnold bailed on the bar.

It started out with a kiss

How did it end up like this?

It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.

Now, I'm falling asleep.

Arnold was lying on his bed, heart racing as his drunken mind began to take him on an adventure into the world of jealousy. He could picture them standing outside the bar, Helga talking on her cell phone as they made their way back to her dorm.

And she's calling a cab,

while he's having a smoke

and she's taking a drag.

His stomach turned as he picture her smoking. Why would she do it? She knew how bad it was for her.

Now, they're going to bed,

and my stomach is sick,

and it's all in my head,

but she's touching his chest,

now, he takes off her dress,

Now, letting me go. . .

It was like a scene from a romantic comedy where the couple finally gets together and has sex. They would be awkward at the door, stumbling as they found their way to the bed, then there would be a release of nervous laughter filled in by a passionate kiss.

In his mind, she was over him. He was glad. . .Right? he wondered. Wrong! a voice replied while simultaneously knotting his stomach even tighter.

Why was his mind doing this to him?

And I just can't look, it's killing me,

and taking control.

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea,

swimming through sick lullabies,

choking on your alibis.

Arnold tried to force his eyes to open. They remained glued shut, the alcohol drowning his thoughts. He could just see his hands running all over her petite, naked body. . .

But it's just the price I pay,

destiny is calling me.

Open up my eager eyes.

No, no, no, no, no! Arnold finally threw his body forwards, drenched in a panicked cold sweat. He blinked rapidly at the sight of the sun. When the colors faded from his vision, he brought his eyes to the bed on the other side of the room.

Cause I'm Mr Brightside. . .

Arnold almost screamed from happiness. His roommate was lying on his bed, laptop open, and clearly awake. His roommate looked tired and upset, obviously upset about what had happened the night before.

"You okay, man?" Arnold asked, trying to keep the happiness out of his voice.

"My night could've gone better," he replied. Arnold slowly stumbled to the kitchen, smiling brightly. He was slightly hungover: his head was pounding and his eyes and throat were dry. But he had never felt better.