"Ivan.."
Captain Hasten stood in the center of the first room facing all thirty of his men, the newest recruits from his homeland. He was going over the days duties, and lucky for him he would have the privilege to skip over his and instead enjoy a radio interview with a local station, something he had planned weeks before. The only flaw with this seemingly perfect day is that the interview had been scheduled for noon, and until then he would have to put up with the three things he hated the most; Ivan, Niko, and the abnormally cold morning.
"You and Niko clean the third floor, and try not to fuck anything up like last time!" Capt. Hasten said.
The Captain still remembered the incident just last week when a grenade went off in the storage building down the hill, blowing a hole right through the side at least five meters wide. Luckily no one had gotten hurt, but he knew it had to of been one of those two idiots. It only infuriated him even more when he couldn't prove a damn thing. Ever since that day his hatred for them has shown no bounds.
Ivan and Niko said in unison, "Yes sir!" They both had a high respect for the captain and his position, they thought he was such a swell guy.
Hasten Cringed as he heard them speak, god did he hate those two. He looked back down at his list and marked them off like he did all the others, he was finally done giving the morning orders.
"Alright, you are all dismissed to complete your duties. Remember that I'm doing the interview between twelve and one, so don't bug me during that time."
All of the men gave him a salute, which he returned back. He had a lot to get done before the interview, and he needed to get started. As he walked down to the bottom floor he turned around to look one last time at dumb and dumber, God he hoped they wouldn't do something stupid.
Ivan and Niko climbed the creaky stairs leading up to the second floor. The third floor only housed a couple of rooms that were now packed full of explosives. C4, grenades, car-bombs, detonators, dynamite, that sort of stuff. Cleaning would be quick and hassle-free, since the area was so small.
Hasten had given them strict orders ever since the grenade accident to never touch explosives again, and now that they were getting a chance to prove themselves, neither of them were going to let the captain down.
The two of them entered the biggest room, A living area complete with a half bath and balcony showcasing a spectacular view of the whole estate.
The walls and furniture are caked with dirt, trash is bountiful on the carpet floor, and the windows gleamed with a mosaic of fingerprints.
They both began dusting, carefully avoiding the explosives.
"So, I got on the computer the other day and theres a new episode of Dancing with the Stars! Guess who gets a thirty!" Niko said to Ivan as he finished his first wall.
Ivan answered back, "I don't know, Peta and Gilles?" He was never a big fan of the show, it bored him to tears. "I couldn't care less bro."
"Fine, but just remember that I don't always like watching those sitcoms!"
Ivan loved American sitcoms. Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, Seinfeld, According to Jim, Everybody loves Raymond. He knew all the funny shows like the back of his hand. Sitcoms are his expertise. "OK, but you know you like them."
Niko snorted, "Oh hell no! I hate sitcoms almost as much as I hate Justin Bieber!"
With his fists clenched, Ivan turned from the lamp he was dusting and glared at Niko. "You. Take. That. Back!" He snarled.
"As soon as you take back what you said yesterday about Gran Day."
"It's GREEN Day. Gran? What in sam hell is Gran?"
"You think I'm stupid?" Niko's temper began to overflow, his head burned red, fingers curled into a fist, muscles tensed.
"Yes, I do! Only a dumb ass would like green day, but only a Neanderthal would think their name is Gran day." Ivan mocked.
Niko charged Ivan, grabbed him, and held him up high into the room. Ivan, surprised and satisfied that he actually pissed Niko off this much, let him have his moment. Once He had enough he raised his foot and slammed it into Niko's crotch.
Niko dropped Ivan to the floor and collapsed into the looming pile of explosives.
"BEEP"
"Shit! What was that?" Ivan screeched as he jumped to his feet.
"I don't know, but what ever it is, it's going off in two minutes."
Hasten strutted over the muddy ground leading up to the main house. He had been called minutes earlier and told by some people at the local station that they would need to pull the interview early. He wasn't ready, he hadn't practiced, he didn't even know the correct procedure to do an over-the-radio review, but he was gonna rock their world.
He scaled the front steps leading into the big room, the room he gave the orders in earlier, and sat down in from of a labyrinth of computers, routers, transmitters, phones, and a bunch of other electronics. He didn't care what they did or how they did it, he preferred his equipment to NOT contain chips and diodes, but today he was going to learn to use them. He looked over to a couple of men in the room. "Shut all of the doors, make sure no one interrupts me, this is very important."
"Yes sir" the highest rank man said. He turned and gestured for the others to go and shut the doors and windows.
Within minutes the whole room was silent and empty aside from Hasten and the buzzing of the electronics, game on.
They both stared down at the tiny screen, counting down more and more, now at 1:45.
Ivan knew all to well that Niko had just activated C4, and when it went off, he didn't want to be anywhere near it. They both had little time to either stop it or get the hell out of there.
"Do you know a way to deactivate it?" Ivan asked Niko.
"No, the only thing I know how to do is activate them." Niko said back. He grabbed the bomb with his shaky hands and held it high in the air. "No off switch."
Ivan slapped Niko across the face. "Of course not! God what do we do?"
"I could run and get some help."
Ivan's eyes widened, "Yeah! Go get someone!" he said.
Niko ran out of the room and rounded the corner to go down the stairs. Just before he got to the first step he saw Captain Hasten, to busy with his radio equipment to realize Niko was there. He did want help but not from Hasten, that was the last guy he wanted help from. Niko circled back into the room to Ivan, anxiously awaiting.
"Well? Did you get someone?" Ivan asked
"No, I ran into Captain Hasten, I didn't want to get him up here and see this. He would kill us."
"Fuck!" Ivan was now pacing back in forth next to the bomb, now ticking at 1:25. "Look I'm going to get out of here, you should follow."
Niko didn't hesitate, they both ran to the balcony and down some fresh lumber leading into the back yard. As they ran through the grass their shoes slapped the dew into the air, it was still morning. Niko wondered why Hasten was on the radio so early. Finally after jumping the fence to the forest the thought escaped his mind.
Hasten, sitting in a nice leather chair before the monstrosity of equipment before him, waited patiently for radio contact with the station.
Eventually the radio crackled, "Coming in from 92.3 RSAM, this is Elane Kiko, are you with us Captain Hasten?"
Hasten hurriedly fine tuned the equipment and responded, "Yes, this is Hasten here, nice to meet you Elane."
"Glad to Have you on the show Hasten, are you ready to tell us about your operations in the local area?"
"Yes I am."
No one responded, static filled Hasten's speakers, then Elane was back on.
"Alright so where are you located at this very moment?"
"Well right now me and my men are working in the esta –"
In the biggest room on the top floor, the bomb ticked its last few seconds away.
3.
2.
1.
Suddenly an explosion came from the top floor with so much power the walls blew away, supporting beams gave in, and the whole building came crashing down right on top of Hasten.
Board after board, brick after brick slammed into Hasten;s body, the radio equipment sprayed sparks into the air, random fires sprung out of nowhere.
Hasten looked up at what had happened as he muttered his final words, "Those two motherfuckers!"
He fell to the debris beneath him, his body limp, an absent pulse.
Way off on a distant trail from the estate, Ghost turned to Roach, "Did you here that explosion or was it just me?"