Waking up at crazy hours of the night with nightmares and not being able to sleep is a little childish for a 17 year girl but that's exactly what's going on I keep having dreams of that time. That time really shouldn't still be haunting me. it was a forever ago that my mother shot herself.

Flash back

"Please Phil don't leave me .I need you, I love you" my disoriented mother was begging on her knees. Her newest husband was leaving her like all the others before, including my dad. It just no one had made it as far as my dad no had gotten her pregnant … well until Phil.

"I don't want you or that thing in you I used you to get to the money you got from the divorce but you didn't get any money from the divorces! You stupid woman!"

9 months latter mother put the baby in a home she believed that if she had the baby Phil would come back to her, but when he didn't

I came home to a letter on the door saying …

My dear baby Bella, I love you, I hope you know that

But mommies sick there's something wrong with me and

Because of this I want you to go to Meg the nice lady across

The street and call 911 tell them that your mommies sick

But whatever you do don't go in the house please I begging you to not go in!

Love mommy

I had walked about five feet down the side walk when a loud gunshot was herd it was coming from my house. I know the sound from going hunting with my dad. I ran to the door and yanked it open, and then everything was red then black.

Id woken up staring at the ceiling of the hospital. The cops told me my mom had been suffering from severe depression and then committed suicide. I blamed Phil.

Then I went to live with Resama in the foster home.

End flash back

Its five years later and my biological father, Charlie, finally found me. He said he'd been tracking me since last year, when he found out my mom died. He apparently hadn't he heard about Resama so when he showed up at the home I had to introduce them.

Charlie found us in the north fort foster home in southern phoenix.

He took us to his house in the rainiest town in the us. This was difficult because we love the sun.

Nessy as I called her seemed to like Charlie. She doesn't talk too much and since nether me or my dad talks much either it was extremely quite the first day we were home.

Charlie told me that starting next Monday me and nessy were going to school her in kindergarten me a junior in high school.

Sunday morning

'Shut up shut up shut up' I shouted in my head. Oh, what scratch that I was really shouting it. I then realized it was my alarm going off. Next thing I know nessy is next to the bed and she turned off the alarm.

"Thanks nessy it was really getting annoying "

It wouldn't be if you turned it off when it went off."

"And when was that" looked at the clock in her hands it was "6:35 holy shit I'm supposed to be making breakfast 30 min ago" I jumped out of bed ran to the bath room.

After I was dressed I started breakfast. Oatmeal and toast .Charlie staggered into the room and yond.

Are you going fishing with Sam today?"

"Yeah you can come, you know get out of the house "

"Im not sure if nessy would like that I mean what is she going to do?"

I can ask Sam to bring his sons you remember Seth and little Jacob don't you?"

You mean the Seth that I made mud pies with and that tiny baby that Sam's wife always had."

Yeah, only Jacobs not so tiny anymore and Seth's grown to."

"Ok well ill get nessy ready to go."

I got her dressed she seemed to be really excited like shed been waiting a long time for this or maybe she was starting to get the feeling of a family a feeling she'd only seen and heard about . A feeling I myself hadn't felt in a long time.

At la-push lake

Nessy hadn't seen a lake before and didn't seem interested now, she had seen a 4 ft 1 inch little boy with dark skin and longish hear . He was cute in a boyish little way. That must have been Jacob he was a lot bigger than the little squirt I remembered.

His older brother was a different story he was huge, I mean 6 ft 7in huge. His hair was cut short and you could see the muscles all over his chest, manly because he wasn't wiring a shirt. Then there it was the one thing that made me just want to fall over and die. He had a tattoo.

Not just any tattoo, no this tattoo was the tattoo I wanted since I'd seen it in the small tattoo shop in Shportlen the small town somewhere in Texas.

It was of a wolf clawing its way down the back of his shoulder a sandy colored wolf with blood on the paws and mouth of the dog.

"Bella is something wrong?" I must have been staring with a strange look on my face because Seth turned so I couldn't see the tattoo.

"Eh, um, no nothing's wrong I think I'll stay on shore though, Resame do you want to stay with me?"

Nessy just looked a Jacob as if to ask if he was staying or going .surprisingly enough he flashed a toothy smile and nodded. I had to laugh I little at them it was unusual that she pay any attention to any one let alone a boy except me. I was a little envious.

"Well I'm not allowed on the water any more right dad" he was flashing some kind of sarcastic smile. Apparently an inside joke. Since I like jokes I figured I try getting this one.

"Why are you not allowed on the water?"He looked at me a little anxious then at Sam. Sam shook his head.

"Uh perhaps I'll explain it to you latter, Bella." he tried to change the subject "how about I show you around the beach maybe we can make a sand castle." I wasn't sure about the castle but it sounded better then fishing .maybe I could get him to tell me about the tattoo.

After we walked about 20 ft down the beach I asked about the tattoo

"So when did you get the tattoo"

"Oh um I was going to ask you if you had a problem with tattoos, you don't do you?"

"Oh no no no I love tattoos I really love yours it's the one I wanted in fact I'm working in owning my own tattoo shop. I only need about another thousand and to graduate high school to do It." nessy tugged on my shirt sleeve. When I looked down at her she seemed upset about something.

"What's wrong nessy?"She just looked at me and I couldn't read her thoughts like I normally can tell what she's trying to say. It was like she didn't know what she was trying to say.

"You're going to have to talk to me I don't understand" at this point I was on my hands and knees with my hands on her shoulders.

"I don't know it feels like there's something over in the trees but I don't know what it is but it smells different." this is why she never talks, everything she says sounds strange. But after being the only one she would talk to for five years I'm used to it.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry over, right Seth?"

"I know what it is and if you will excuse me I will get rid of It." he then walked off in to the trees

Well lets what here for him to come back, hey who ever finds the most shells wins."I learned a long time ago if you make I game the kids are good. Seth didn't come back. Nessy was clinging to my shirt whatever it was, it was scaring her. We got home at about 8:30 I told nessy to go to bed that she needed her sleep. then we all went to sleep . danmmit, I have school tomarrow!