Howdy. I'm Lily! This is a piece of fiction I had on another sight but decided to put it here too! I haven't written in quite a while because of the strong laziness that has caught on to me. Anyway I hope you enjoy this sad little oneshot. :3
To make things clear. In this oneshot, Kurama and Hiei are already together. So enjoy!
If you have the time, you can drop me a rewiew so I can see how you guys feel about it!
Phew. I feel so lazy...
Enjoy!
"I hate you!"
What a peculiar thing to say. Of all the times I have ever argued with Hiei I have never used such a word. Yet, why was I using it now? Ofcourse there were times when I couldn't stand the sight of him, but I had never, ever used the word 'hate'.
Hiei watched me, eyes never faltering. His emotionless stare stirred up something that I had never felt before. Was this hate for him always there? When have I ever started to hate that face?
I was perfectly familiar with the feeling of hate. I've had a number of enemies that I'd wanted to tear apart. There have been people that I'd hated so much I had tortured them, hurt them...
Killed them...
This feeling was nothing like the other feelings I've come across. It was new, a strange new hatred that I felt towards the demon I cared about. Leaving me confused, consumed with rage that never appeared in any of the other fights we had. I clenched my fists and closed my eyes, resisting the urge to lash at him with my rose whip. I didn't want to hurt him, yet the sensation was there, boiling in my blood.
Calm down, breathe...
Don't look at his face.
My mother was asleep I shouldn't disturb her. I took a deep breath as I opened my eyes to glare at Hiei. He was sitting on my window ledge, looking at me as if I was a curious specimen he had come across. Red eyes showed no hint of shock at my words.
That wasn't right, I bit on my tongue, trying to control this unessecary anger. I wanted my words to hurt him, to tear at him...
I wanted him to feel pain, inexplicable pain.
Since when have I felt this way?
"Just get out Hiei." I hissed, looking away. I didn't want to see that pale, expressionless face. If I did, I was afraid I would attack him.
He laughed. Laughed at my weak words. I couldn't stand it any longer. I lunged into him, kicking him out of my room. He landed on the wet grass outside, sword ready and eyes angry.
That was what I wanted to see. An emotion on his smug face. I smiled at him as I held a rose in my hand.
Why was I acting like this?
"Ok, fox." He said calmly, "Let's fight shall we?"
He dissapeared quickly but I knew where he was heading. Into the forest where we could duel undisturbed. I followed, my anger still raging, my mind was set. I was going to hurt him.
I was going to hurt the demon I cared about...
It was strange. Why would I want to hurt him? I've known him for years. He's been the closest to me yet...
I hated him. I hated him like an enemy now.
When have started to feel this way?
Was it because of all the differences between us? Or the fight we had today?
I'm not sure... I don't remember when I started to hate him.
I finally caught up to him. Hiei was ready to fight. Determination in his glaring, red eyes. Sword shining in the milky moonlight. He looked his best in the night; when his eyes glowed like fire in the inky darkness. But right now, I don't care.
"So you hate me," Hiei smirked but there was something in his eyes, "Then channel all that hate into killing me, Kurama."
There was something...
I laughed loudly, I would hurt him, hurt him so badly he wouldn't be able to stand.
"Yes, Hiei. I hate you. I've been listing all the ways of killing you." I smiled, my mind blank with hatred.
"Oh, how nice of you." He waited. Waited for me to make the first move.
I slashed him with my rosewhip, quick and precise yet he dodged it. He ran towards me, sword pointing to me. The rosewhip slammed against his sword and he was sent flying back into the trees.
"Hiei, you made a mistake in choosing the forest to fight with me." I said calmly, smiling.
The hatred never ceased to dissapear at the sight of him bleeding.
What was wrong with me?
Hiei held his hand tightly where he had slammed into a tree. Blood was oozing down his arm. Deep, dark blood that made me smile. It must hurt. It must hurt really bad. He winced as he steadied himself, preparing to attack. His eyes blazing but there was something...
I'm too far in rage and anger to find out what it is. Of all the times we've fought I had given in to Hiei. I had walked away, refusing to go further in anger. Yet now all this anger boiled in my veins, as if all the pent up emotions had suddenly rose inside me and taken over me.
He attacked me again, this time I sent thousands of root at him. They grabbed onto him, tearing at him, trapping him. He dropped his sword, unable to release himself from the roots wrapped around him. They squeezed into him and he grunted in pain.
I picked up his sword, smiling to myself. There was something in his eyes. The sudden realization of what it was made me laugh at him as I played with his sword. He stared at me, eyes still steady, still arrogant.
"Fine. You win fox. Kill me."
"Kill?" I shook my head, holding the sword closely, breathing heavily in rage.
I pointed the sword towards myself, smiling up at Hiei. His confused red eyes glowed faintly in the moonlight.
"Hiei. I hate you. I hate you..." I whispered, "This is for you..."
I pierced the sword into my shoulder, screaming at the pain. I fell to my knees, the pain of the sword blurring my eyes with tears. I breathed heavily as I stared at Hiei. The shock on his face was nice to see. I felt fulfilled. I pulled the sword out slowly so that my shoulder exploded in pain. I cried out again, feeling drained and tired. I held the sword, feeling the blood gush out of my open wound.
"Kurama. What the hell are you doing?" Hiei whispered, that strange look in his eyes sent shivers down my spine.
I smiled at him as I tore at my wound, causing more blood to pour down my shirt, I shut my eyes as I felt the piercing pain run down my arm. The smell of my own blood making me dizzy. After a few minutes I held the sword to other shoulder.
"Kurama! What the hell?" He screamed this time, "What are you doing?"
He struggled against the roots that bound him as I plunged the sword into my other shoulder. The pain seemed more dim but it was enough to make me scream. The blood soaked my once white shirt but I didn't care. The pain was blinding, pounding into me but I didn't stop. I was going to hurt Hiei. Hit him right where it hurts.
My eyesight was getting blurry as I began to feel faint from the blood loss. I then began to slice at my cheek.
"Kurama! Idiot! Stop it!" He hissed, still struggling. I looked at him, his eyes filled with anger and...
Was it pain?
I smiled.
"Hiei, there is no use in fighting against your restrainst. Just relax and enjoy the show..." I licked the blood dribbling down my cheek as I tore against the wounds on my shoulders. The blood was starting to make me sick. I held the sword as I began to stand, laughing quietly.
"Kurama, have you lost it? Stop it!"
I positioned the sword to my chest. If I did it correctly I would be able to hit my heart. It was perfect. I smiled, I would hurt Hiei. He would never be able to forget.
He stared at me, red eyes stared in horror as I began to press the blade into my chest, the pain was excrutiating, making me cry out but I still continued to push the blade into my chest, slowly it would cut my heart. He would never forget. I would definitely hurt the one hate.
"Kurama!" He screamed. This time I froze. He's voice seemed strange. Something was different...
He sounded horrible...
So empty...
"It's okay if you hate me. I can live with that..." He looked into my eyes, making me drop the sword in surprise, "Just don't do this. I can't..."
What was happening? Why?
"I can't live, if you..." He was choking on his words, "If you kill yourself... Just... Please..."
The hate was gone now. Washed away at the sight of his pained gaze. I felt nothing but grief; overwhelming, horrible grief. I looked into his saddened face as I fell to the ground. I couldn't stop my mind from was wrong with me? Why?
Why did I want to hurt him?
"Hiei..."
He must have felt it. The pain must have been horrible. When I told him I hated him. He must have felt it. I hurt him. I hurt Hiei. Tears rolled down my sore cheeks as I released him. He fell to the ground, not looking at me. It tore at my heart and suddenly the wounds didn't feel as painful as aching in my heart.
He must have felt so cold...
Oh my god, why?
"Hiei..."
I couln't move. I was too tired. Too heavy.
"Hiei, why did we fight? Why did I...?"
I was an idiot. I don't even remember...
"Why did we have to fight...?"
I don't even remember what we fought about...
He got up slowly, not looking at me. I felt tired, so tired. I tried to move my arms but everytime I tried the pain in my shoulders would burn. I tried to see his face but the moon was gone, blocked by the dark black clouds.
"Hiei, I don't hate you."
I saw his shadow walk towards me and I began to shake in guilt.
"I don't. I don't hate you. I really..." I felt sick; tired, cold and sick...
Why had I ever felt that way? Feel hate for the most precious person in my life? Had I finally lost it?
"I don't hate you Hiei. I..."
He held me tightly, silencing me with his lips. The moonlight broke through the bleary clouds and I saw Hiei's blazing eyes again. Full of sadness...
"I know. I don't hate you too, fox."
He held me as I started to drift into sleep. Feeling the warmth of his body.
"I'm sorry. I don't hate you." I mumbled.
"I know, just rest fox."
"I really love you, Hiei"
"Yea?"
"I'm.. sorry..."
When I woke up I was back in my room all bandaged and clean. Panicking, I looked around for the fire demon. What if he left me?
What if he left...?
I felt something beside me, something warm and soft.
It was Hiei...
He was by my side, fast asleep...
I held back the tears of relief as I watched him sleeping peacefully...
Yet holding me tightly, never letting go...
Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed it.
If you didn't it's probably my fault :c