A/N: This is a SamLexis songfic one shot. I hope you like...it was something that was just bugging me to write. The song is by Ashley Parker Angel and is called Apology. Feedback is always appreciated!

Close to you, so far away,
A rented room, an empty space,
Sirens bleeding through the open door,
Movie scene in black and white,
The snow falls down alone tonight.
No one's ever felt like this before.

To say that she left Port Charles and never looked back would be a lie...because every time she logged on line at the small junior college in Florida she found herself clicking onto the Port Charles Herald website. It was one week after Alexis' cancer went into remission when she left. Her family didn't need her and Jason Morgan sure didn't need her after he found out that Elizabeth was carrying his child. Sure he had said all the right words, but when her own pregnancy test came back negative she couldn't deal. It was then she left...asked him not to find her and found her way to somewhere sunny. She had enrolled at the college soon after finding a filing job and an apartment...Sonny had sent her with some money even after she refused finally relenting that he just wanted to know the mother of his daughter was out there okay.

The small room reminded her of the ones above Kelly's; small but adequate, a bed, a desk that held her laptop, a nightstand with a lamp and a picture of her sisters. It was far from cry from opulent but it was comfortable. Sometimes she would sit and stare at the picture of Kristina and Molly and wonder how they were...she wondered how she was...From the newspaper she saw that the divorce from Ric was finalized...and she had regained her position as the DA. She saved every clipping in a shoe box under her bed...and she stared at the phone at least twice a day just wanting to call. But every night she went to sleep and saw her face...and she wondered how everything went so wrong.

What went wrong with you and me?
This is my apology.
'Cos even when I fall asleep, you stay with me,
You stay with me.

Her mom...she had never really had one of those...not until she found out Alexis Davis was her mother...she had fought wanting to know her telling Jason that she didn't...and yet she followed her around...quite literally stalking her. She wanted her, to know her, and yet she fought it tooth and nail. It wasn't that her love for Jason was wrong...but letting Jason become the very thing that defined her was the wrong turn she took...when he left, she had nothing...he just like the rest of them had left. And she blamed it on Alexis...couldn't understand why her mother didn't want her to be happy. In retrospect seeing your daughter love someone that ends up almost killing her would make any mother sick. But if she had Jason; she thought she had nothing...and she swore revenge...and that was the biggest mistake of her life. Sleeping with Ric had been the beginning of the end...she had lost her mother, and Jason. He had tried to forgive her but that night had pushed him into Elizabeth's arms...resulting in a child that bound them together forever. So she left...left the self proclaimed love of her life, her sisters...and her mom...you would think she would dream of the other three, but there every night where her mother's tired eyes looking back at her.

Stuck inside a broken frame,
Watching as seasons change,
Hoping time will finally set me free,
Suddenly, you're standing there,
A crowded street, a lonely stare,
A thousand miles of traffic in between.

She yelled for Kristina to come inside and then turned to walk back into the sliding glass door. Maybe she turned to fast, but she could have sworn she saw her daughter's eyes reflecting back at her. She ran into the door and realized it was just her mind playing tricks on her. Somehow she found herself wandering into the back room. She hadn't had the heart to change it since she left. And as she sat down on her bed she picked up the frame that held the picture of her and her girls...and she said a silent prayer for her daughter that she lost again.

Every letter that you wrote stays with me,
And every promise that I broke, stays with me,
And everything that's left inside, stays with me,
It stays with me.

Apology – Ashley Parker Angel

She walked inside the room throwing herself onto her bed and closing her eyes. Her Business law class had been particularly brutal that day...she had thought about going into law as a way to prove to herself she was as good as her mother...now it was something different...maybe she just wanted to be like her. Alexis Davis, brilliant attorney, Cassadine princess, mother of the year...and here she was Sam McCall, Junior College student, ex-salvage diver, file clerk...it seem unimpressive.

It was a Saturday morning and she was able to sleep in before going to the library to start writing her term paper. She clicked in...before she started did her usual surfing. It was the headline the caught her eye and made her bite her lip.

"Ric Lansing Dies in Fatal Car Crash"

It wasn't until she started to read the article that the tears sprung to her eyes. And one line made her throw her stuff in her bag and run out of the library, "His infant daughter Molly Lansing was injured in the crash, and is in critical condition" She was already dialing the familiar number as she walked towards her apartment. Three hours later she was on Sonny's jet back to Port Charles.

Alexis sat camped outside her small daughter's hospital room...she had been in this situation too many times...first with Kristina, then with Sam...and now with her Molly. Ric wasn't scheduled to even have her but he came and strong armed Viola that day and she had relented to let him take her to the park. And now her baby girl was sitting there with tubes attached to her little body. Sonny's arm came around her and he pulled her close to him.

Sam didn't waste time telling Max to step on it to the hospital. She tore up to the 6th floor...and she saw her mom there with Sonny at her side. She looked so small, tired and fragile. For a moment she wanted to walk away...wanted to forget about seeing the great Alexis Davis this weak...and yet the bigger part of her started walking towards her.

Alexis heard the footsteps and expected to see Epiphany or another doctor. Instead she looked up and was met with Molly's brown eyes...this time in her older sister's face.

Sam saw her look up, and the tears were steadily pouring. When she opened her mouth the sound that came out was almost guttural.

"Mom" she cried letting herself be enveloped in her arms.

"Baby" Alexis said kissing the top of her head.

It was the person she least expected...and the person she most needed...

She was there every day until Molly was released...being strong for the both of them...the night she was released Sonny threw a small dinner party at the house...and when they finally put the girl's to bed Alexis sat on the couch in front of the fireplace a glass of wine in her hand...Kristina had requested one more story from her big sister...and when Sam came out she saw her mom wiping the tears. It broke something inside of Sam broke as she came to her and knelt at her feet her head lying in her lap.

"I am so sorry mama" she cried.

Alexis brought her into her arms peppering kisses onto her head, "I know baby, I know...its okay...everything is going to be okay...now that you're back everything is going to be okay"