"You have another fight with Nashi?" I heard Gray ask, coming and sitting down next to me at the bar.
"Yeah," I replied with a sigh. "I just don't know what to do with her sometimes… I feel so lost… I wish Luce was here, she'd know what to do…" I said, tearing up at saying my mate's name. Pain still throbbed in my heart from losing her all those years ago.
"Whilst that may be true – to an extent – you've done fine raising Nashi these past 12 years… Lucy would be proud." He commented, putting a hand on my shoulder in an effort to comfort me. I appreciated that greatly.
"I know… Nashi just doesn't realise how hard it's been for me after… The accident… I've had to sacrifice so much for her because she doesn't have her mother here anymore… She doesn't understand that, as a father, I've had to raise her on my own… Sure, I had the help of everyone here, but…" I trailed off, sighing again and putting my head in my hands.
"I know, I know… Lucy's death has had a toll on all of us, but you the most since she wasn't just your wife – she was your mate, and Nashi needs to realise that. One of these days she will though, I promise you that, and she will appreciate everything you've done for her." Gray tried to reassure me. I winced when he mentioned Lucy. I looked at him with defeated and tired eyes.
"I love Nashi, Gray, she's my daughter… But it's really hard when she doesn't consider what I've done for her, nor how much it hurts me, when she goes around calling me a workaholic dad who never has time for her and never seems to want to be around her… She's basically calling me Jude – from before he changed his ways! It's like she thinks I enjoy almost never seeing her! I'm her father – of course I miss her when I go on missions and wanna constantly see her, but when she goes around wanting the impossible-to-have-at-the-time, how else am I supposed to get the money for it?! Pull it out of my ass?! The world doesn't work that way… I don't have time to enjoy working – I'm too busy needing to get it over and done with so that she gets what she wants when I get back, as well as pay the bills, keep a roof over her head and be able to feed her… I work hard because I love her and I want her to be happy… Not because I try to make her 'someone else's problem'…" I said. I really didn't know what to do with Nashi.
"Natsu, we all know you have it rough… But if you're really that desperate then we can go on jobs for you sometimes so that you can spend some time with Nashi. It's no big deal… Besides, we know you'd do it for us." Gray smiled at me.
"I know, but if I did that then I'd feel like a failure because I'd be depending on others to pay the bills for Nashi and I… I really do appreciate the offer, really I do, but I gotta decline it." I said, standing up from my seat and turning to walk away.
"Natsu…" gray muttered, staring after me as I walked to the exit of the guild.
"Thanks anyway, Gray… I appreciate the effort to try and cheer me up." I said, before leaving the building and heading to the cherry blossom tree that I once uprooted for Luce when she was sick – the one that eventually became the spot where I confessed to Luce and we became mates, the spot where we had dates sometimes, the spot where I'd proposed to her, the spot where we'd gotten married, the spot where we'd spent all 6 of our anniversaries, the spot where we'd celebrated our birthday's as a family... It held very dear memories for me… Whenever I was there, since she died 12 years ago, I'd feel like Luce was still there with me. It was a spot I always went to when I needed to cheer myself up because being there always reminded me of what's important and it'd fire me up to fix whatever was broken.
When I got there, though, I noticed my 17 year-old daughter was already there, sitting on the ground and strumming random chords on her guitar that I'd gotten her for her 11th birthday. Her rosy pink hair gently swayed in the light wind, sakura petals falling around her. I turned to leave.
"Daddy?" I heard her bell-like voice ask. I turned back to look at her. Aside from my hair colour and smile, she was the spitting image of her mother at that age. She was giving me a confused look.
"Sorry… I'm just going…" I said sadly, and turned around again.
"Wait!" She called out, after I was a few steps further away, and I turned back to see her showing me a sad face. "Daddy, come here… Sit down next to me…" She said, petting the ground next to her. I hesitated, but then went over and sat down next to her. I stayed silent and watched her cautiously.
"Daddy, I'm sorry…" She apologised. My eyes bulged.
"What? Why are you sorry?" I asked, frowning.
"After we had the fight, I went to Uncle Romeo & Aunt Wendy's place… I confided in Aunt Wendy about what we argued about and she made me realise a couple of things… Things I never knew of because I was too self-absorbed to see…" She said in a small voice, sounding as if she were berating herself.
"What did Wendy say to you?! If she said anything upsetting to you…" I growled. Nashi's eyes widened.
"huh? No, Daddy, she was right… I was so caught up in what I wanted that I never saw how much you've suffered over mom's death and how you pretty much gave up your grieving time to make me happy… How you're still mourning her… I have been nothing but selfish and I never gave a second thought about what you have done for me and what you've had to sacrifice to try and keep me happy… I'm sorry I never realised what you go through every day, Daddy." She said, tearing up. Immediately, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me in an attempt at a comforting hug. She began to sob, just like how her mother used to, and I did nothing but rube soothing circles into her back with one hand.
"Nashi, it's okay… It's alright… It's fine… It's what fathers are for – it's our job to provide for our family and ensure their happiness… You come first, every time." I said, tearing up a little bit myself. "Nashi I don't regret what I've done up until now. I've done my best to raise you on my own, since your mother isn't here anymore, and I think I've done a pretty damn good job – if I do say so myself." I joked. Nashi let out a strangled laugh before calming down enough to stop crying. She pulled away from me with a small smile. I reached up and wiped away her tears and cupper her ace. Her smile got a bit bigger.
"I love you, Daddy." She said. My heart pretty much melted and I pecked her forehead.
"I love you, too." I said. She grinned and me and I returned the gesture. "Ah, there's my smiling baby girl! So much like her mother – too bad she got my smile and hair colour." I jokingly tisked. Nashi's mouth dropped amusedly and she whacked me on the arm.
"Hey!" She retorted in a scolding tone. I just laughed and she joined in. when we stopped, Nashi gave me another smile. "I wrote a song… Would you like to hear it?" She asked.
"Of course!" I said, my supportive nature kicking in.
"Okay..." She said and began to strum her guitar. I smiled encouragingly at her and she began to sing.
"You tucked me in, Turned out the light,
Kept me safe and sound at night,
Little girls depend on things like Dads…" She began, smiling at me. I felt pride swell in me at hearing her beautiful voice – which was so much like her mother's as well.
"Brushed my teeth and combed my hair,
Had to take me everywhere,
You were always there when I looked back…" She looked at me with grateful eyes.
"You had to do it all alone,
Make a living – make a home,
Must've been as hard as it could've been…" Nashi continued, this time looking at me apologetically. I shook my head in a way that said 'don't worry about it'.
"And when I couldn't sleep at night,
Scared things wouldn't turn out right,
You would hold my hand and sing to me…" She sang, giving me another smile. I smiled too, knowing where she was going with this. Her eyes told me to sing with her and, being her father, who was I to say no?
"Caterpillar in the tree,
How you wonder who you'll be,
Can't go far but you can always dream,
Wish you may and wish you might,
Don't you worry, hold on tight,
I promise you there will come a day,
Butterfly fly away …" We sang in harmony. I could see she was going to end it here, but I decided to sing something myself.
"I turned around and you were there,
The two of us made quite a pair,
Daddy's little girl was here at last…" I began, and Nashi looked at me in surprise but kept the melody going. I could tell she was wondering why I kept on singing.
"I looked away and back again,
And suddenly you were ten,
I don't know how I got so far so fast,
And yet I still don't understand,
It's not anything we'd planned,
Kind of makes you think it's meant to be,
It's destiny,
I always knew the day would come,
You would stop crawling and start to run,
Beautiful as beautiful could be… I finished, and I gave her the look that said to sing with me again. And she did with an affectionate smile on her face.
"Caterpillar in the tree,
How you wonder who you'll be,
Can't go far but you can always dream,
Wish you may and wish you might,
Don't you worry, hold on tight,
I promise you there will come a day,
Butterfly fly away,
Butterfly fly away,
Butterfly fly away …" We finished. Nashi put down her guitar and hugged me. I returned the hug, holding her tightly to me.
"Thank you, Daddy… I appreciate everything you've done for me… I'm just sorry you've had to sacrifice so much…" She whispered, and I chuckled.
"I enjoy being the reason why you're happy, Nashi, that's why I earn the extra cash to get you everything you want on top of providing for you. You're my daughter and I love you more than my own life… You'll always be my little girl, no matter how old you are…" I told her, and I felt her smile.
We stayed there for a while, even after we broke the hug, and I told Nashi about every memory I had made there with her mother. When we were leaving to go home, well after the sun had gone down and the stars began to shine in the sky, I stopped for a moment to look up at the night sky after I briefly felt a warm breeze against my back. I smiled when I saw a falling star.
Wherever you are, Luce, you can rest easy… Nashi is doing just fine, and I'm getting by… We love you and miss you so much. I thought, before turning back to follow Nashi out of the park.
Unbeknownst to Natsu and Nashi, Lucy was standing with her parents in heaven, looking down at her family with loving and proud eyes.
"I told you they'd be fine." Jude said haughtily.
"No, you did not! You said they'd be hopeless and forever lost!" Layla retorted, smacking her husband's arm lightly. Jude chuckled and enveloped his wife in an embrace – to which she melted into with a blush on her face.
"Well, I was lost without you. Blind, as well." He said, peppering Layla's face in kisses.
"Oh, I know." Layla giggled, and Lucy rolled her eyes at her parents' behaviour before looking back at her family.
"I love you both, so much… And I'm so proud… I can't wait until you're both here with me when it's your time." She whispered, sending her words down to her husband and daughter. To them, it was like a faint whisper on the wind, but both acted as if they hadn't heard her voice – apart from the small smiles that graced their faces.