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I sat on the hot sand with Walt's head on my lap, watching him preform the spell, watching as his eyes, closed, the skin turning cold. It was too much, I could feel my heart snap, a sharp break, it was over, he was dead-

I sat bolt up in the bed, breathing hard. Gods, not again, not that bloody dream. I buried my face in my hands and wept like a baby. This was ridiculous, I was supposed to be strong, unbreakable, but here I was, for the fifth night in a row, crying myself back to sleep because of my own damned weakness. It would break the boys' hearts to see me like this.

I felt a surge of loneliness. Isis was usually in my mind to comfort me after a nightmare, or Bast. Liz and Em had been there for me before, when the dreams had been about my mother, not Walt. But this dream was every bit as painful as watching my mother die. It hurt so badly, every night. The loneliness pressed down on my bones, making my heart contract painfully. The scar on my wrist was stinging.

I wanted someone to pat my back, brush my hair and say it would be okay. I was tired of waking up in fear, with no one to help. Carter was in Egypt, helping Amos clear up some of the rebels. I had stayed behind with Walt to watch the trainees. I was starting to regret that arrangement.

I sighed, my breath coming out rattled. It was about one in the morning, so I had two options. I could go back to sleep or I could do something stupid and reckless.

I went with stupid and reckless.

My head was pounding, I felt extremely weak; the aftereffects of the nightmare was almost as bad as the actual dream. I knew if I got up, I'd fall, and there was no one around to catch me.

Hesitantly, I reached out, looking for Walt's consciousness. I could feel both his and Anubis's thoughts. They were in the middle of a conversation. I didn't bother wondering why they were up at one in the morning. I steeled myself, I really didn't want to come crawling to either of them, but at the moment, I didn't really have a choice. It was admit weakness or fall asleep and have the dream again; and I knew for a fact I couldn't go through that a second time.

Boys, immediately their conversation stopped.

Sadie, what's wrong? They said in unison. I winced, my head was pounding, and them talking at the same time hurt.

One at a time, I mumbled.

What happened? Anubis purred softly. My heart fluttered painfully in my chest, my cheeks turned pink when I realized he could feel my reaction. I almost left, this was a bad idea.

Please tell me. He said softly, his tone kind.

My resolve cracked. I pushed through Duat, focusing on where I wanted to appear. After a moment, I appeared in Walt's lap. Not exactly the spot I wanted to land, but I wasn't arguing. They looked stunned as I buried my head into his side, tears trailing down my cheeks.

"Geez, Sadie what happened?" Walt demanded, too surprised to really manage his voice.

I flinched at his tone, more or less curling up into a tighter ball. Walt seemed to realize that being sharp with me-intentional or not- wasn't a good idea. He wrapped his arms around me. My heart stuttered to a stop when I realized he was shirtless, wearing only a pair of black pajama bottoms.

"Please tell me what's wrong." He murmured in my ear. I shook my head stubbornly. I was already curled like a little girl in his lap; I refused to cry like one as well. Or, rather, cry harder.

He gently repositioned me so I was still in his lap, but looking him in the eyes. He tilted my head up with a finger. I squirmed as he looked deeply into my eyes, making all my resolve, all my determination crack into pieces like a clay statue. He kissed me, his lips barely touching mine as he rocked me back and forth.

For a split second I froze. I hadn't realized how long it'd been since I'd been held like this. Not since my mother died. The feel of his lips on mine made warmth race through me. I leaned into him weakly, wanting to feel more. My attempt was laughable, but he got the idea, leaning lower, deepening the kiss. His tongue trailed over mine, his lips were gentle but demanding. I relented easily, my hands clutching at his bare chest. I hadn't realized how starved I was for human contact. He seemed to know how weak I was, how heavy every muscle was, because he didn't push me.

When he broke away I almost whimpered. Instead I nuzzled his side, my body limp in his strong arms. It felt so good to be next to him. I was vaguely aware that my pajamas consisted of fuzzy black pajama bottoms and a tank top, but at the moment, I didn't care.

"Please tell us." He whispered, trailing his lips through my hair.

If I'm going to hell, I might as well do it properly, I muttered in my head. A horrible flash of fear went down my spine as I finished the thought. I pressed my head farther into him, wanting the pain to stop. A pitiful whimper escaped my lips as another wave of loneliness and agony wracked my frame.

Both boys had come into my head. I struggled desperately, like a fish on a line, to get away from my own mind. It hurt too much; it was way too much pain. I could feel how surprised they both were, but I didn't care, I just wanted it to stop. Anubis brushed against my consciousness, sweeping the pain to the side as if the memories and feelings were cobwebs. I almost sobbed with relief. They both receded from my mind, allowing me to process the release from pain and the surge of energy that came with it.

I finally focused; well aware I was still in Walt's arms. I was still tired, I could barely move; my eyes and limbs felt like they were made of lead.

"Are you okay?" Walt said. I could hear his absolute concern, how scared he was of me having broken to pieces in front of him. Shame burned my cheeks. His fingers brushed my face as he studied me. I caught his wrist, leaning my face into his palm.

"Love, it's been a long time since I've been 'okay'" I whispered.

He frowned, taking his hand from mine, making guilt burn my throat.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"You didn't do anything." He said curiously.

I shook my head. "No, I knew better. I shouldn't have come-"I wriggled, trying to get out of his arms. He tightened around me. "I happen to want to know when you're not okay. Anubis too, although I think you might've given the poor guy a heart attack earlier."

I frowned, "I didn't-"

"I don't think he's quite used to beautiful women appearing in his lap out of thin air." He smirked. I burst out laughing. "I hadn't meant to," I snickered; the idea of me being called beautiful suddenly seemed hilarious, especially with how I looked. "I didn't specify where I wanted to go; I guess my amulet has a mind of its own. I meant to appear outside your door. Just in case…" I trailed off, my amusement fading.

"In case what?"

"In case I came to my senses at the last minute." I grumbled, burying my face back into his side, shifting to where I was closer. He really was very comfortable, despite how hard his muscles were. Mm, I could fall asleep, I was plenty tired enough, it's not like they would really care-

All of a sudden I felt like I was falling. I lurched upwards, but instead of taking my body with me, my ba floated out, leaving my body with Walt.

I saw myself curled in a ball in Walt's lap. I could see how confused he was, how worried. He leaned down to kiss me.

I white had shot out to grab Walt's shoulders before his lips touched mine. Next to Walt, Anubis stood, looking somber and as lovely as ever. He gestured to my limp body.

"She is asleep," he said softly. "Let's not risk waking her up, shall we?"

Walt frowned. "What did she mean 'it's been a long time since I've been okay'?"

Anubis sighed. "I've no idea. I know stress or trauma can cause her to have nightmares, but I didn't think they were bad enough to make her cry, let alone force her to seek company."

Walt held up a hand, "what do you mean 'force her to seek company?'" he demanded.

"Her nightmares are rather horrible; in fact, I'm stunned she still has her sanity, or what's left of it. Mortals can only take so much mental strain, so much pain."

"What was her nightmare?"

Anubis sighed sadly, "Sadie sees her deepest fears, her worst memories-"

"What'd she see?" Walt demanded.

Anubis shook his head, placing his hand on my forehead. Immediately, I squirmed underneath his fingers, making him smile faintly. "Mm, had I known how starved she was for attention, I would have joined her in Duat, no use now, she's already asleep." he frowned slightly, looking for something in my head. His eyes turned dark as he found what he was looking for. "Oh Sadie," he murmured sadly.

"What?" Walt demanded impatiently, his arms tightening around me.

"She saw us." Anubis whispered.

"What?" Walt stuttered, "Why would she be having nightmares about-"

"In the desert," Anubis explained. "When you died, for a few seconds, she was completely alone; no carter, no friends, no family. We were gone and it broke her heart." He looked shaken. "She's woken up crying every night for the past week, and she hasn't told anybody."

Walt looked horrified. He tightened his grip on me, my unconscious figure nuzzled closer, burying my face in his side. "Why?"

Anubis shook his head. "I do not know, you will have to ask her yourself, although not now. She's been put through enough for one night; it's time to let her rest. You should keep her here until the sun comes up; I don't think it's a good idea to leave her alone when she's so weak."

Walt nodded. Anubis disappeared into the shadows. I felt my ba fade out, disappearing back into my body.

I woke up with the feel of Walt's arms around me. A sigh escaped my lips at the feel of his skin on mine. It felt so good to be held, especially in the early morning. I squirmed closer to him, feeling his hot breath on my hair. My ear was over his heart, the rhythm lulled me like a song, and I never wanted to move. A content sigh left my lips as I realized it was almost nine, gods it'd been forever since I slept in-

"Enjoying yourself?" Walt murmured. I jumped partially out of my skin; I hadn't realized he was awake.

"Um," I stammered. Great, that's lovely, how's about I try for a full sentence now, hm? Instead of try to speak, I buried my face in his hard chest, letting myself breath in his scent. I could hear his heart rate pick up as I curled into a tighter ball next to him.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said smugly. I wanted to get sharp with him for taking that tone with me, but my limbs still felt heavy, my eyelids like lead from the lack of sleep. Walt rubbed his hands up my back, slowly massaging my aching muscles. I all but melted at his touch, a content purr coming from my lips. I had to bite my tongue to keep from moaning.

He chuckled warmly. "You know, if you wanted someone to hold you, you could've come sooner." I shifted guiltily, biting my lip.

"I'm too tired to come up with an excuse," I murmured, relaxing into him, gods he was comfortable. I yawned, making him laugh.

He stroked my hair, causing me to let my eyes close. He chuckled again as I nuzzled him, I could feel my consciousness slipping, my last thought being how beautiful his heartbeat was.

I drifted in and out of consciousness for the next few hours. Walt was always by my side, asleep. He seemed to have needed a nap too. Finally I came to around noon, the time the trainees would get home from school.

I was still in Walt's arms. I almost cried in relief. Hungry was gnawing at my stomach from being in bed all day, but my head was fine, the pain was gone. Walt groaned in his sleep his eyebrows knitting together in a troubled expression. His lips twitched. Curious, I slipped into his mind.

I saw him and Deathboy arguing. Both boys seemed to be having fun snapping back at each other, Anubis punched Walt in the shoulder playfully, something like brotherly fondness in his eyes. at least their getting along, I thought. Sighing, I turned to go back to my own mind.

It didn't work. As I turned to leave, Anubis leapt forward, catching my arm and swinging me around. He bubbled with laughter as my knees went weak, my legs giving out as I landed in his arms. Walt burst out laughing.

"Oh, gods, you should see your face!" he chortled. I wriggled out of Anubis's embrace, smacking Walt's arm.

"Oh, shut up!" I hissed. "I just came to see what you two were doing, arguing." I crossed my arms in a futile attempt to hide my chest. They both noticed, their eyes landing on the top of my black lace bra.

Walt rubbed the back of his neck, "I, ah, like your pajamas." He tried meekly. Anubis came from behind him, smacking Walt upside the head hard enough to cause the poor boy to wince.

Anubis turned to me, "was it just me, or did that sound hollow to you too?" he wondered innocently.

I couldn't help it; I burst out laughing, grabbing Walt's shoulder as I laughed to hold myself up. Anubis was doing the same, doubled over in mirth.

Walt shrugged us both off him, apparently not amused. "Alright, enough jokes at my expense."

"Aw, c'mon, I didn't get to make one!" I snickered, causing Anubis to laugh harder. Walt glared at the both of us. Anubis sobered instantly, but I was still chuckling.

"You two need to get out of my head," Walt grumbled. Anubis sighed, kissing me on the cheek as he left, making Walt frown. I left without another word, eager to get back to my own body.

I looked up at Walt; he was awake, still unhappy at our teasing. I frowned, leaning up to look him in the eye, "what's the matter?"

I caught his face as he turned away from me. "Tell me," I said quietly. "I can handle it."

He shook his head and sighed, "I'm sorry," he went to get out of the bed. I glared, pouncing him, landing on his torso in one fluid movement. He gasped as I sat on his waist.

"Alright, I didn't want to half to do this but so help me Walt, I will," I warned, leaning forward, using my attire to my advantage, making him pale as I leaned down. I locked my lips on his; teasing as I nipped and let my hands wander. He squirmed underneath me.

"Oh. My. Gods." He panted as I slid my hands down his torso. I licked at his muscles, making him moan. "Still in a bad mood?" I purred. His pajama pants were giving him away as to how much he was enjoying this.

He shook his head, "gods, you're impossible." He made to kiss me again as I moved to get off him. He growled softly, flipping me underneath him in one smooth move. I gasped as he bit down on my collarbone, making me cry out.

"You didn't think you could get away with that, did you?" he purred. I looked him in the eyes. "Well, I was hoping I could." He laughed, accentuating the fact I was having an effect on him.

"Well you can't." his calloused hands began moving on my tiny body, making me moan softly. Gods, a week without him touching me made my body react on its' own accord, writhing underneath him. He began kissing me up my neck, making my breathing become ragged.

"You, my love, need to come to me next time you get hurt." His hot breath tickled my ear as he whispered sweet words in my ear. How I was beautiful, brave, he loved me, I was his, he was mine, he cared, he wanted me, he loved me. I whimpered pitifully under him.

"I love you too," I whispered. Walt beamed, I could see Anubis grinning in Duat, beyond happy. They leaned down, kissing me. My body was still heavy from sleep, my strength waning. They took notice, moving to get off me.

"Please don't," I begged. They frowned at me, "Sadie, you need more sleep, you're tired." I shook my head weakly, "please?" I whispered. Gods, it had been too long since he'd kissed me, held me. Memories from last night made me want to beg, to plead, but I knew I couldn't bend my pride enough. I let them in my head, showing them how much I needed them.

They sighed, going and crouching over me once again. I whimpered pathetically, my body aching for their touch. Walt seemed to know how tired I was and how hard it was to move. He leaned down once more, his lips barely touching mine as he butterflied kisses on me, slow and sweet. Finally, he got to my lips, his own becoming passionate but keeping the gentleness.

"Oh gods Sadie, you're killing me in that top," he groaned as my breathing hitched again.

I smiled innocently, too tired to speak. I wanted him to kiss me again; I needed him to kiss me again. My back arched of its own accord, another pitiful whimper escaping my lips. He sighed, which didn't help any, "you're demanding this morning, aren't you?" he teased. I couldn't help it, I nodded. He chuckled. "I'll have to keep in mind how needy you are after a lack of contact, won't I?"

I whined again, "Please kiss me, please." I begged, all pride forgotten. He smiled lovingly, "you're wish, my command." He kissed me again, less gentle than the previous one. His tongue danced with mine, making me moan heatedly. I locked my hands on his neck, wanting to keep him there forever.

Some time while he was kissing me, the door opened. A gasp came from the door frame. We looked up simultaneously to meet the eyes of the entire of Brooklyn house. All of which were staring at Walt, sitting on me, making me moan. Jaz's mouth was down around the floor, along with most everyone else's.

"um, um," Jaz stammered. "We thought Sadie had left late or wasn't home, and you were asleep so we were going to wake you up…" she trailed off as I growled, low and irritably. Walt, who was frozen on top of me, looked at me in surprise.

"I am quite capable of getting him up-"

"I can see that." Felix snickered.

Walt's turn to growl. He was glaring at Felix angrily, he looked pissed as hell. I stifled a laugh when I realized why he wasn't getting off me. Gods, that was embarrassing.

Several trainees whistled at him. "Oh, not much of morning person are you?" "I don't blame him, its noon; he should be more of an evening person." "Gods, I'm jealous." "What about no girls in boy's rooms?"

I snarled, cutting them off. "Gods of Egypt, you people are annoying!"

Walt was still glaring.

Felix grinned mischievously, "so, how's your morning been?"

Walt snapped his fingers, pointing at them, "Alright, anyone not out of my room by the count of three is getting turned into a pile of ash! One, two-"people ran out of the room so fast my head spun.

Walt looked down at me, "sorry."

I grinned mischievously, flipping him to where I was on top. I rubbed the bulge in his pants. "Mm, problems? You seem to need a bit of help." He groaned. "Gods, no, Sadie! Please?! C'mon, we're going to get caught!" he whined. His physical reaction was a bit different. I grinned, rubbing my breasts on his chest, quickly biting his ear, his collarbone. I got off, rolling my hips on his waist before leaving. He moaned, "Oh, you're evil, absolutely evil!"

I flounced out of the room, leaving him panting. I felt much better.