Chronicles of Burning Alive

by WorldRuler

A friend prompted me by saying 'Cullens and Zombies'. This turned out to be a story of hybrids, finding oneself, accepting responsibility, controling gifts and... All right, zombies. AU, some lemon, some angst, some gore

1. Chapter 1

Chronicles of burning alive.

Book of Elaine the Duskborn.

Another long night was coming to an end and the sun was slowly rising above the horizon. We watched it, our faces turned towards the brilliant colours of dawn. We were sitting on a rooftop of an abandoned house. There were many of these in the United States now, three years after dead started walking among the living; people were fleeting South, where days were longer and chances of survival bigger. Zombies didn't like sunlight and fire and warmth.

We were covered in blood and gore from tonight's fight, but nobody seemed to want to move. If you could ignore mangled corpses scattered on the otherwise empty street, it was a peaceful moment. Simple, in a way. We breathed the upcoming day in and bathed in the luxurious thought that we have many hours before another night comes. Another night equalled another fight and there seemed to be no end to this.

"I need you to do something for me," Father said quietly. He was a man – a vampire – with greying dark hair and an air of a soldier around him, a very kind and collected person. "Both of you."

He didn't turn his head away from the view in front of us. From the corner of my eye I could see that my sister, Effie, had turned her pale, delicate face towards him. In fact we were half-sisters and hardly looked anything alike. She had her mother's sweet features and Father's dark hair, though hers were curly, the only obvious resemblance between the two of us. Effie was younger than me by almost fifty years, but one couldn't really tell, seeing as we were both hybrids and we weren't aging.

"I need you to travel West. I received a message from an old friend who seems to be in trouble. He's the head of a big vampire coven there and they managed to stay away from the main wave so far, but now zombies are rising in numbers there."

"They are being sent," I said.

"Yes," Father agreed. "You will help my friend out."

"And what about you?," Effie asked. "Why aren't you coming with us?"

"I can't leave those who stayed here alone, now can I? I'll try to organize an evacuation, if not for humans, then at least I'll search for nomadic vampires."

It was a perfectly logical answer, because Father was a very logical man, thinking in strategies. Something was off about his voice, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Some resignation, perhaps? Father was tired and it was obvious. It wasn't visible in his face, because vampire's face was unable to show fatigue, but his eyes lost some of their determination. His eyes that were golden – now that so many humans were killed, Father decided to at last follow the advice of this friend he'd already mentioned a few times before and to try and survive only on animal blood. Weirdly enough, zombies did not hunt animals, not before they became very hungry, and they were multiplying, wandering the streets of cities they once would be afraid to get near to. Effie and I were trying to eat human food when it was possible, but there wasn't much of it left, so we hunted with Father.

"Go sleep now," Father said. "You need to be on your way as soon as possible."

Father didn't need sleep, but Effie and I did, at least to some extent. We stood up and climbed through the window back inside. There was a small bedroom here, just two narrow beds and even more narrow passage between them. Effie curled up on one of the beds right away and I started rummaging through the wardrobe in the biggest bedroom.

Whoever lived here before must have been pretty well off and hadn't had time to pack. Lucky for us, most likely very unlucky for them. I found some clean clothes that would roughly fit and stuffed a sports bag with it. Hopefully we will run into some sort water on our way and we will have a chance to clean ourselves up and then change our clothes. I could smell very, very clearly that I reek of the dead, but there was hardly anything I could do about it right now. This town was deserted and there was no water nor electricity.

After I came back to the smaller bedroom, Effie was already asleep. I could see only the tangle of her dark hair from beneath the covers that she pulled as far up as they'd go. I laid down on the other bed and closed my eyes, trying to think about nothing. The problem was, I had a very good memory and every killed zombie and every corpse and every human we did not save – all of it came back to me in my dreams and in these moments before I fell asleep, very vivid and in far too much detail for my liking.

Last three years were a never ending nightmare. I tried to think about happier days, when Father, Effie and I were just living our simple lives, but they seemed too distant to actually believe in. I can't say that I was a stranger to death even then, but it was never so terrible… so unnecessary. Even though Father was a vampire, he had a lot of sympathy for humans. It went against his nature not to kill them, but he taught Effie and me not to kill for the fun of it, as many other vampires did. He fell in love with two humans and had enough self-control to conceive children with them without killing them in the process, which was a great accomplishment. It was hard to formulate that idea, but it was more wrong when zombies killed than when my Father did.

I decided it will be best not to dwell on it. We did what had to be done – if we didn't, there wouldn't be any humans to have moral doubts about in the first place. I tried to remember something good instead, something that would give my head some much needed rest.

The first years after Effie was born and her mother, Heather, was changed into a vampire, was a good period in my life. My own mother wasn't much of a motherly figure, but Heather was it in every inch. She was very lovely, even more so after she was changed, freckled and wide-eyed. It took her very little time to get accustomed to me and the thought that her own child will be just like me, a hybrid, and after Effie finally came to this world, Heather was surprisingly gentle and patient for a new-born. She laughed a lot and made Father smile.

I winced in my half-sleep, because another memory came to me: after the end of the world as we knew it came, Father sent Heather away all the way to South America, hoping she will be safe there. Even though Effie and me were just half-immortals and she was a full vampire, she wasn't of much use when it came to fighting. She had all the strength and speed and everything that came with the transition, but still, she wasn't hard enough. Not a coward, just… Not made for this kind of life.

I wondered where Heather was now. It was impossible to say, really, but I was sure she was worried. She was just the kind. Sometimes I thought it would be better if Effie went with her. I was glad to have my sister with me, but she was too much like her mother. I could tell that this way of living was having its toll on her. I suppose I was more like Father in his ability to adapt.

When sleep finally did come, I was dreaming of sunny days and perfectly green grass. I was grateful for that – I needed some place of refuge, even if it was only in my mind.

Father woke me up about noon. Effie was already on her feet, getting ready for the road. She found a map and Father explained to us how to get to Forks. We both carried a bag over our shoulders and when the sun was at its highest, the three of us stood outside the house, ready to get on our way.

"Watch out for each other," Father said. "If everything goes as I'm planning, I'll meet you in Forks in a month. If not, just wait for me. I'll come."

"A month?," Effie echoed. "Why so long?"

"It takes time to organize an evacuation, Effie," Father said patiently. "And Elle, remember to stay focused."

"Of course," I said, though I wasn't too convinced. Concentration always was my weak point, be it in fight or in using my gift.

Just like many other vampires and hybrids, I am one of those who have other powers apart from the traditional immortality-related set. My ability is connected with fire, which isn't too handy around vampires, whose venom is extremely flammable. Mostly I just didn't use my gift, for obvious reasons, but sometimes the situation did call for this and then it required great amounts of focus that I hardly possessed at my best times and just didn't have at all when things were getting out of hand.

Father kissed Effie and then me on the forehead and we were on our way, running through the streets of the empty town until we ran across a lake. It seemed clean enough, without any corpses floating in the water, so we took off our dirty clothes and jumped into the cold water.

"That's a relief," Effie said, splashing water around with her hands. "I've been carrying liver in my hair for days now."

"Ugh, disgusting," I said, combing my fingers through my own hair, which was liver-free, but terribly tangled. "When do you think we will get to Forks?"

I used my shirt, which I managed to make blood-free enough, to rub myself clean. I felt like my skin was able to breathe for the first time in weeks.

"Tomorrow morning, I guess? We just have to keep up the pace and avoid trouble."

"Right. Let's get going then."

I swam as close to the shore of the lake as it was possible, just enjoying the sensation, and then I walked out of the water. I picked out clean underwear, some jeans and a jumper and even, oh the luxury, a pair of too-big trainers. Everything became instantly dump, because I had no way of drying myself, apart from using my gift to produce some warmth, which would result in setting myself on fire, so I ruled it out pretty quickly. We started running again, making sure to keep away from the main roads. During daytime some humans travelled by car even here, though the prices of gas were getting higher and higher. People knew about zombies, but vampires and all the rest were still a mystery to them and that was for the better.

Evening came when Effie and I were running through some deserted villages. There was no one to take care of the crops, so they were withering away and going to waste. It was darkly ironic, really, seeing how many people were suffering from hunger.

We stopped in one of the villages, because we were hungry, too. We checked a few houses, but they were perfectly empty – their owners had enough time to move out. I wasn't sure whether I'm relieved for their sake of disappointed for ours.

When we walked out of the last home in that particular village, the street was already crawling with zombies. There had to be at least thirty of them and they seemed very hungry; it was obvious from their rapid decay that it was quite some time since the last time they had a satisfactory meal. This explained why there were so few animals around here.

Human meat is the highest ranked stuff in zombies' menus, but hybrids must smell pretty good, too, because they often try to take a bite out of one of us. They hate vampires, I suppose they see them as fellow dead that steal their meals and if there is enough of them, they try to tear a vampire to shreds. I'd seen it done once or twice and it was terrible.

The group started walking towards us, dragging their feet, growling. Effie dropped her bag to the floor of the porch so that it wouldn't get in the way. We didn't have any weapons, ammunition was rare nowadays, but it was fine, we had other means of fighting.

I took the first zombie's head off with one swift move and turned around before he even fell down. Another one, a female, was trying to sink her teeth into my arm, so I used my other hand to hit her with my fist. She backed away a few steps, which gave me just enough time to aim a high kick at the jaw of a tall zombie who was snapping his teeth at me. I turned again in the same movement and caught the female – jerked – and suddenly I had her head in my hand.

It was a lot like dancing, if one looked at it just the right way. A dance where every move counts, so you have to be very efficient, plan ahead, never lose your step.

And I did just that.

My foot slid on spilled zombie blood or something just as disgusting and I lost my balance, fell out of rhythm. Zombies were there to use that against me and Effie was too far away, engrossed in her own fight, and suddenly I felt myself being yanked backwards by my hair. My back arched and I tried to use my hands to keep approaching zombies away, but I lost my concentration and it was no use, there was a dozen of them grabbing at me, pulling, trying to bite or tear away a piece of flesh.

I snarled, which was one of those involuntary sounds that would just come out of my throat when I was really angry, and made another attempt at wrenching away. All I'd managed to achieve by that was straining my arm to the point of nearly breaking it. I could hear Effie, screaming something, deep in her own trouble. And then, when I was nearly sure this is it and I'm going to become a meal, the grip on my hair loosened and I fell backwards, landing on my bottom.

Someone pulled the zombies away from me and before I realised what's going on, there was nothing un-dead around me anymore, just perfectly still corpses. A vampire was standing over me, looking down with an unreadable expression. He looked like a teenaged boy, with longish dark hair falling over his black eyes. Effie appeared behind him, looking at him uncertainly.

"Who are you?," the vampire asked.

"I am Elle, and this is Effie," I said, jumping to my feet. "And who are you?"

"That's not what I'm asking. You aren't vampires, but not humans either, are you?"

"We are hybrids," Effie explained. "Half and half. Look, thanks for helping us out, but we need to get on our way, so…" Suddenly, she fell silent and snapped her head to the left. I looked the same way, because I'd smelled what she'd smelled. There was a human there, a girl of about fifteen years, looking at us with wide, terrified eyes. The vampire appeared right next to her and that was when I noticed that the girl was badly wounded. Something, most likely a zombie, had bitten off a considerable mouthful of her arm. She was barely standing and leaned heavily against the vampire.

"One false move and you are nothing but dead meat," the vampire warned us.

I nodded slowly. It was rather strange to see a vampire protecting a human that way, but who was I to question odd behaviour? Effie was looking at me tentatively, but I wasn't sure what to do any more than she was.

"It's all right," I said. "We aren't going to hurt her. We are just traveling through here."

"Where?," he asked. The girl wavered and he picked her up. A pained expression crossed his face and I understood how hard it must be for him not to feed on her, especially in his current, extremely hungry state. "Where are you going?"

"Forks. That's about… About eight hours from here," Effie explained. She was always good with distances and measurements.

"Are there humans there? Help?"

"I suppose," I said. "From what I've heard, it's one of the first towns up North that are still inhabited. We know… Well, our Father knows a doctor there. A vampire. Maybe he could help your friend out."

We both knew there was no 'maybe'. The girl had been bitten and there was no chance for her. She was as good as dead. Judging by the looks of her, she had three days tops. Soon she will fall asleep and never wake up, at least not as herself. She will turn into a zombie.

"Are we taking them with us?," Effie asked. "Are you sure?"

"He did save our lives, or at least mine. What was your name again?"

"I'm Jayden, and this is Sophia. Lead the way."

He nodded at Effie and she hesitated for a moment. She looked at me, but when I just shrugged, she took off running again. As a vampire, Jayden was faster than us, but he was carrying the half-unconscious girl, so it all evened out. We weren't speaking much. Effie was mildly insulted by my behaviour, Jayden was too busy worrying, Sophia was in no condition to talk and I didn't want to make attempts at awkward small talk.

We got to Forks just after sunrise. We slowed our pace, because there were military patrols roaming the streets here. There wasn't very much of them and they would retire for the day very soon now, but we didn't want to draw any unnecessary attention, especially with the state Sophia was in. It wasn't much trouble to get into the hospital, because of how many people were going in and out, including soldiers. In most towns, public buildings like that had been turned into shelters where people would hide for the night if they couldn't lock themselves in their own houses.

"What's wrong with her?," one of the soldiers asked, pointing at Sophia with the gun that he was casually carrying.

Jayden went very stiff, but Effie stepped around him and smiled at the soldier, locking her light brown eyes with his. "She has a cold, perfectly common thing," she said reasonably. "She… she's coughing and all."

Sophia wasn't coughing. She was barely even breathing, but the soldier nodded once and went his way. That was the thing with Effie – she had a gift, too, and was far better with it than I was with mine. She could make people see the world as she wished them to see it.

Jayden looked at us quizzically, but there was no way of explaining it with so many people around. Instead I started asking around for doctor Cullen, until one of the nurses pointed me towards his office. The hospital was gradually getting emptier as people were going back to their homes after the night.

I knocked and we stepped inside. Carlisle Cullen, my Father's friend, was sitting behind his desk. His face, though very handsome, was dark with worry. So were his eyes. "Hello," I said politely. "I'm Elle, and this is Effie, Jayden and Sophia. We've been sent by my Father… Well, not all of us, just me and Effie…"

"You have a real way with words, don't you, Elle," Effie interrupted me sarcastically. "Our Father is Cian Middleton, I believe you know him?"

"Cian, but of course," Carlisle said and for a moment a smile lighted up his face. Sophia woke up and Jayden sat her down very carefully on one of the chairs in front of Carlisle's desk. "And by father you mean…?"

"The man who inseminated our respectful mothers," Effie said. She was a rather short-tempered person. Carlisle flinched marginally and I clasped my hand on Effie's arm.

"I take it Father hasn't explained to you about his little secret," I said, pointing at Effie and me. "We are half-vampires, born of mortal mothers. Duskborn, some call us."

"That's quite sensational and hardly deserves glossing over," Carlisle said in awe.

"It will have to wait," I said. "I'm sorry, but we aren't here for the fun of it. Father said you need our help..."

"Can someone look at Sophia?," Jayden snapped. "She needs medical attention."

Carlisle rose from his chair and approached Sophia in weary steps. He examined her very carefully, but I could see the diagnosis in his eyes. It was painfully, heart-wrenchingly obvious, but when Carlisle shook his head, Jayden went mad. He looked like he's really going to hit Carlisle, but then he changed his mind at the very last moment and he punched the wall instead. It cracked under his blow, yet Jayden didn't seem affected. He leaned his forehead against the wall and made a strangled little noise that sounded too much like a sob.

I approached him slowly, making sure I won't get punched in the process, and patted him awkwardly on the back. I wasn't too good with this whole making people feel better thing, but it worked, or at least to some extent. Instead of hitting me, Jayden grabbed me by the arms and pulled me close, nearly crushing my bones in the process.

"I should get out of here," he breathed into my hair. "I'm really fucking hungry and I'm not sure…"

"It's okay," I said softly. "Come on. We can see if there are any animals in the woods. Effie?"

"Yes, I'll stay and… You know. Go."

I smiled at her and she smiled back, though somehow tentatively. She wasn't mad anymore, or at least not so much. Jayden grabbed my hand, urging me to move faster. He practically pulled me out of the room and then through the hospital's corridors.

By the time we got into the woods I was pretty sure my hand will never be quite the same. "So… Who exactly is Sophia?," I asked.

"A girl from my town. I was changed just after this all began, three years ago. I came back there two years later and most of them were gone, dead or just gone, I don't know. And she was on her own, so I took care of her. But I failed her. She's going to die now, because of me. Because I couldn't… Didn't…"

There was this noise again, this dry cry, the only kind of cry a vampire was capable of. It was only then that I realised that he was just a boy. He could be twenty-one at best, maybe twenty. Just few years ago he had a normal life, was a human. He lost more than I did, probably his whole family, so he just wanted to keep this one girl away from danger.

"You could change her," I said softly, sniffing the air. It didn't smell like zombie, which was good, but there were no animal traces, either.

Jayden had a better sense of smell than I did, so he sensed what I couldn't. He raised a hand to keep me quiet and gestured for me to follow him. I suspected he was trying to avoid answering my question, but followed him anyway. Soon we ran into some deer, just three of them, but it was enough for now. It wasn't until we were satisfied that Jayden spoke again. "I can't. It's all I can do not to… You know."

"Not to munch on her?," I supplied helpfully.

It was one of those moments when I failed at grasping the idea of proper behaviour. Jayden gave me a dark look and I wondered what kind of a person he was before all of that. I could hardly remember what kind of a person I was.

Carlisle Cullen took the four of us back to his home and introduced to his family. We prepared a bed for Sophia and Jayden was trying to talk her into eating, but she couldn't be convinced to sip even the smallest amounts of water, let alone eat. Jayden didn't like any of us coming close to her. I'd noticed that Sophia never spoke. When I asked Jayden about it, he said that she already was like that when he found her.

It was obvious that Carlisle was doing his best, but there wasn't much that could be done, apart from easing her pain. We all just waited.

"I've met your mom once," Esme, the lady of the house, said to Effie when we were all sitting in the living room, useless and very aware of a girl dying upstairs. "Lovely woman. She never said…"

"She couldn't have," Effie explained. "Hybrids are very, very rare. Apart from the two of us I know only Serena, Maysun, Nahuel and Jennifer. There are all half-siblings."

"I don't like Serena," I said automatically, as I always did when her name was being mentioned.

Effie rolled her eyes, but she was smiling, too. She stopped almost instantly, because Jayden came into the room. He crossed it and sat next to me on the couch. The atmosphere of waiting by the deathbed was back.

I took Jayden's hand and he gave it a squeeze, not half as hard as back in the hospital, more like to let me know he appreciated the gesture. He dropped our joined hands onto his lap and said, "I need her to be changed into a vampire, but I can't do it myself."

It worked like a charm. Everybody stared at us and only Effie didn't look like she swallowed something very sour.

"You can't make that choice for her!," Rosalie exclaimed. She was a real beauty, with light hair, not simply pale like mine, but actually golden-coloured.

"I'm not," Jayden said. "I would never. She's not… I can't ask her now, but when she was still… She asked me to change her, but I couldn't."

"I'm afraid that's not a reason to do it, Jayden," Carlisle said carefully. "We can't even be sure how her body will take the venom now that she already has zombie's poison in her."

"How old is she anyway?," Jasper asked. "It's illegal to change children under fourteenth year of life."

"She's fifteen and three months old, but that's not the point, is it? So I'm supposed to let her die?," Jayden yelled. He got up rapidly. I tried to pull him back by his hand, but he tore it away from mine and started pacing angrily. "Let her waste away in there and then kill her myself once she becomes a zombie? Tear her head off?"

I winced and Emmett and Jasper looked as if they were ready to keep him down if he started to act aggressively. I hoped it won't come to that, because there was only three of us and seven of them.

"She will be as good as dead if you change her," Edward pointed out.

Jayden spooned on his heel to look at him angrily. Emmett, Jasper and even me shifted uncomfortably. Violence was in the air. "What?," Jayden snarled.

"If she becomes a vampire, she will be damned."

Jayden actually stopped in his tracks and raised his eyebrows. Effie and me looked at Edward in confusion, but nobody else seemed to find this comment strange.

"Oh," Effie said at last. "Oh. Religion. Let's not go there, shall we?"

"Let's not," Jayden agreed slowly, eyeing Edward, who in turn looked equal parts annoyed and hurt. "Just… Please. Help her."

He looked pleadingly at Carlisle, who in turn looked at the tiny, pixie-like Alice. She was their seer and was apparently at least partially responsible for the decision-making process. She gazed ahead with a blank expression for a long moment and Jayden watched her very attentively.

"It's not easy to predict," Alice said at last. "The hybrids are intervening with my visions."

"The hybrids are here and can hear you," Effie said, but I shushed her.

"Even so, in most versions of the future I can see, it all goes well."

"See?," Jayden asked in a relieved, triumphant voice. "Sophia will be fine. It will go well. I beg of you. Any of you."

He was looking at Carlisle, but it was Edward who reacted. He stood up and set his jaw, clenching his teeth. Jayden and him were roughly the same height, but both tried to look down at the other one. "Fine. I'll do it."

"What? Are you serious?," Rosalie protested.

"You need to be quick," Carlisle said. "She doesn't have much time left."

"We know," Edward said.

"We know," Jayden echoed.

Without so much as looking at one another, they left the room. I followed them with my eyes, wondering what the hell had just happened. I looked at Effie to make sure she's just as confused as I was. She was, which made me feel better.

All in all, I was relieved that Sophia will become a vampire. I'd seen a lot of death in my life, especially in the last few years, but this felt different. More personal. I started to care for Sophia just by watching Jayden care for her.

"Why don't we go to our room, Elle?," Effie asked.

I stood up and smiled weakly at the Cullens. I climbed the stairs after Effie, who was thoughtfully silent. Esme prepared a room for us, a double bedroom, nice and bright, with big windows from the floor to the ceiling. I looked at the forest visible behind them and Effie said, "I'm not sure about all of that. This girl and those vampires downstairs and Jayden… Something's just off about all of that, you know?"

"I don't, actually," I said honestly. "You are overthinking all of this. Just rest now, Effie, because at night we go out and hunt."

For a moment I thought that Effie had sighed, but I was probably imagining things.

I didn't sleep long, because Sophia's agonised screams woke me up.

I started counting hours.

I wasn't the only one who had serious issues with listening to Sophia changing. Jayden was on edge the entire time he had to spend at home, that is during daytime, because at nights he would go out with Effie and me.

On the last day of Sophia's transition, when she became mostly conscious, it became unbearable. It took Edward, Jasper and Emmet to restrain Jayden from going into her room. Sophia was calling out to him, in a way at least.

"Jay!," she would scream, her voice becoming clearer and less hoarse now that she was so close to waking up as a vampire. "Kill me, kill me, kill me!"

It was freezing blood in my veins to listen to her begging like that. I knew nothing of the pain of transition, spare for the stories I've heard and memories of my mother and Sophia's mother changing. It seemed like I was better off that way, even though it meant at the same time that I've never been a human.

"Elle!," Jasper called when Jayden made an exceptionally good attempt at tearing himself from their grasps. I had no idea what he was going to do once he did manage to get through them, and I didn't think he did, either. "Come over here!"

I was sitting on the stairs, one floor above them. Now I stood up and slowly walked down the stairs, until I was standing mere feet from them.

"Take him somewhere," Emmet said.

Jayden really was putting up a fight. He still had some of the new-born's strength, so he was a challenge even for the three older vampires. "Jayden," I said, trying to sound reasonably. "Let's get out of here. Some fresh air will do you good."

I tugged at his hand and, to my amazement, he listened to me. He sent me an agonized look and we ran downstairs and later into the woods. We weren't exactly hunting, just trying to get as far away from the Cullen's house as we could.

"Wait. I think something's wrong, Elle."

For a moment there I thought he wants to go running back to Sophia, because his voice was really urgent, but he was looking somewhere ahead of him. It was the first time he used my name, so I was alarmed.

"But it's daytime," I said stupidly.

The very next moment I was on my back and there were two wolves in front of me, snarling and baring their teeth at Jayden, who was backing away slowly. More wolves were coming from between the trees, but it was obvious they weren't going to attack me, they were too busy looking threateningly at Jayden. They were bigger than normal wolves, too.

"Fucking daytime," Jayden murmured. "And what difference does it make to them?"

None, apparently. I was considering jumping in front of the wolves, even though it wouldn't do much good, when one of the wolves bit Jayden's hand and tore it away with sickening sound, like metal being torn apart. I clasped my hands against my mouth, trying to run around the wolves, but they seemed to consider me a human in distress and were trying to guard me against the vampire.

I did the last thing I should. It wasn't really voluntarily, all I had to do was to let go of all the fear and all the rage I'd been bottling inside me for who knows how long. Blood boiled inside my veins and I felt a rush of thrilling freedom and excitement. Everything around me went red and orange and scalding hot, but at the same time it felt good. Flames danced around me, reaching towards the wolves, catching them with their blazing fingers. Wolves were yelping and whimpering and then suddenly they were screaming.

I gasped, because all of a sudden they weren't wolves, they were humans. Four bronze-skinned, tall, muscular, naked men and one equally naked woman. It wasn't very good for my concentration, but I tried to remember that if I won't get a grasp on myself, Jayden will be in trouble, too. I would fall to my knees, but I was still sitting, so instead I closed my eyes and blocked my ears with my hands to cut it all away and tried to think cool, even thoughts.

It helped. I could feel the flames extinguishing as I was breathing the last of the heat in. When I opened my eyes again, there was just a lot of burned grass and scorched trees – and five naked humans and one vampire. Jayden was just attaching his hand back. When I gazed at him, trying not to stare at anybody else, he gave me a look from underneath raised eyebrows. The air smelled faintly of burned flesh.

"What the fuck, Elle?," Jayden asked.

On the up side, I seemed to had managed to take his mind off of Sophia. I was a strong believer in positive thinking. From the corner of my eye I could see that the men and the woman were putting on some trousers, which also was good. I wasn't a prude, but there was a time and place for everything, and this didn't seem like a good moment for nakedness.

I couldn't be sure whether the wolves-turned-humans would attack again now that the fire was gone, but I wasn't taking any chances. I backed away and then jumped, catching a tree branch above my head. I pulled myself up and crouched on the branch, looking down at all of them.

"Just wait," I said. "Let's talk."

They weren't looking as if they are going to attack any moment now, but it was better to be safe than sorry, so I straightened up, ready to jump onto another three. They were just staring at me. I really wished that somebody would say something. I coughed, trying to kill the awkward silence, and then the only woman in the company fulfilled my wish. She had hawk-like eyes and short hair and looked very stern.

"Is she a leech?," she asked in disgust. "You can't be serious."

"This is the law, Leah," said the oldest of the men present in apologetic voice.

Leah seemed to be angry, but whether it was at me or at the man, I couldn't tell. "Anyway, I don't have to look at that," she said. She pulled a shirt out of a little bundle that she had attached to her thigh, just like all the others did, and started pulling it over her head. Leah had a rapidly swelling bruise on her face, where Jayden hit her. She gave me a dark look, and then sent another towards Jayden, and disappeared between the trees, trembling in rage.

"You can… You can get down now," said another man. "We won't hurt you."

He spoke to me in a very gentle voice, as if he was afraid to scare me away. I looked at him. He was still very young, in fact more a boy than a man. We was tall, with broad shoulders and, just like all the others, wore his hair short. He had warm, black-brown eyes with which he looked at me in such deep adoration…

I clenched my fingers on the tree-bank, nearly breaking it. It was very, very disturbing, the way he seemed to have eyes just for me. I wouldn't move from that tree if it depended just on me, but I wanted to get to Jayden, too, so I jumped down onto the burned grass and started stalking towards him. Nobody stopped me.

"I'm Elaine Middleton. Elle," I said, not sure why I even used my last name when it couldn't possibly tell them anything. "And this is my friend, Jayden… Um, Jayden."

"So, are you?," another one asked excitedly. He seemed to be the youngest here, a boy, though he was nearly as tall as all the rest. "You know, a vampire?"

"My Father is," I said. "I'm a half-vampire."

I was explaining it over and over again for the last few days and it felt weird. Good, in a way, because I didn't have to pretend anymore. With the state that the world was in right now, making my secret known couldn't make much of a difference. I looked at the tall man to make sure that he still had the same expression. He did. Jayden was awfully silent. "And who are you?"

"My name is Sam Uley," said the oldest man. "This dumbfounded here is Jacob Black. The woman who just left was Leah Clearwater, and this is her younger brother, Seth." He pointed at the boy. "And that's Jared Cameron. We are werewolves of the Quileute tribe. I am the Alpha of this pack."

That was too much for me. Jayden apparently shared my thoughts, because he said, "What the fuck, Elle?," and then, "This is what I get for listening to you."

„And how exactly is it my fault?," I asked. My voice sounded terribly shrill to my own ears, which was probably because of all the stress.

"Well, it was you who wanted to get me out of the house, right? Let's go to the woods, Jayden!," he said, mimicking my voice which I was sure wasn't that high. "Let's hunt a bit! Let's get attacked by fucking werewolves!"

"I never said that! "

"Don't talk to her like that," Jacob said.

Jayden and me turned around at once. I hadn't noticed how close we were standing now, ready to jump at each other's throats. Now we both glared at Jacob, who wasn't looking as mesmerised as before. He was glaring at Jayden, who in turn wore an expression of deep antipathy. "The grown-ups are talking, wolf boy."

"And just how old are you, huh?," Jacob asked in return, possibly mostly because he was embarrassed.

"One hundred and twenty-three," I said, cutting off any discussion. "All right. Sam, we didn't know this is your land. We are sorry for the trouble we've caused. We'll be going now."

"You don't have to apologize to them, they are the ones who tore off my arm," Jayden pointed out.

"Are we going to just let a leech wander away?," Jared asked in disbelief.

"The girl is Jake's imprint," Sam said.

"Yeah, ok, but he isn't," Jared said, jerking his chin towards Jayden, who was getting more and more annoyed by the minute.

"I am what?," I asked, but nobody was paying any attention.

"You know I can't do anything to upset the imprint and he's probably her boyfriend or something," Jacob said with resentment. "Well, if I went away and you just…"

"Try your luck," Jayden said darkly.

"Upset the what?," I asked again.

"Wouldn't you like the imprint's boyfriend dead?," Jared asked.

"I'm not her boyfriend," Jayden said, in my opinion totally missing the point.

"Why do you keep using this word?," I asked.

It was getting ridiculous. Testosterone was running high here and I felt not only ignored, but plain invisible. I was thinking about just going back home, but I was too annoyed for that. I wanted some answers and I wanted them now. While Jayden and the werewolves kept arguing and floating further and further away from the main topic, I decided to do something drastic.

I whistled on my fingers, producing an ear-splittingly loud sound. Everybody went very quiet, just staring at me.

"Glad to have your attention," I said.

"I can't hear anything!," Jared complained, twirling his finger in his ear.

"Then read my lips: Silence! Great. First of all, nobody's killing Jayden, that is except for me. Jayden, try to calm down. And last but not least, can somebody explain me what does 'the imprint' mean?"

To my astonishment, Jacob blushed. For one terrible moment I thought that it's some sort of a dirty word for the werewolves. I raised my eyebrows, trying to prepare myself for being mortally offended.

"It means a person a werewolf imprinted on," he said.

"Because that explains so much," Jayden said sarcastically, but I elbowed him in the ribs to keep him silent. "Ouch!"

"And imprinting is when… When we, werewolves, find our soul-mates. This one person becomes the most important one on Earth for us and we – me – would do anything for that person – for you."

"What," I said, too disturbed by the idea to force any proper intonation into that word. "You can't just walk around and imprint on people. That's not fair. How can you… I'm sorry, I respect your traditions and all that, but please stop. I don't even know you."

"He can't help it," Sam said diplomatically. "It may seem a bit too much at the beginning, but from now on Jake wants all the best for you."

"But what if I don't want him to want all the best for me?," I asked. "Don't I have a say in that?"

"Of course you do!," Jacob said, taken aback.

"It's just that, their werewolves are what the imprint wants them to be, so the imprints usually can't help but fall in love…," Jared said, miraculously regaining his hearing abilities.

"I don't think that's how it works," I said carefully. "No, I'm sorry, but it's still creepy. So I have a choice, but I wouldn't want it either way? Not buying it."

"This is sick and you have no need to be sorry, Elle," Jayden said seriously. "Come on. Let's get you home. I want to check on Sophia now."

I nodded, sneaking a glance at Jacob, who looked crushed. Following Jayden's advice, I wasn't sorry for him. I felt raped without even being touched, which was quite an achievement. Seeing that I wasn't very likely to move on my own, Jayden caught my hand and pulled me towards the house. There seemed to be a lot of that between us. It was nice that even though we were arguing just moments ago, now he was willing to defend me.

We ran through the forest without looking behind. I was slightly afraid that they may follow us, but they didn't. As we approached the house the screaming got louder and louder and soon everything else was forgotten. Sophia was still calling out to Jayden and even though he didn't go to her, his face was twisted in agony.

"We don't have to go inside," I said. "There is no change in her state."

"Maybe, but… How long do you think before it gets dark?"

I looked up at the sun. "Four hours?," I hazarded a guess and he sighed. I knew what he felt. Jayden preferred to be away from the house and if he could burn away some of his anger by killing zombies, that was even better.

There weren't many of them in Forks, in fact. I had a sneaking suspicion that Father coined this lie to keep Effie and me out of harm's way. I wanted to ask Carlisle about it, but I was convinced he was in on it, too. He must had been the one who told my Father about the soldiers in Forks. Still, we spent the night looking for zombies out of town, which was rather reckless. It was pure luck that we didn't run into many of them, so neither of us got hurt.

When we came back right after sunrise, silence welcomed us. We exchanged looks, grinning at each other.

Sophia's transition was over.

We ran up the stairs, nearly falling over ourselves in the process. Jayden was faster than me, so he was the first to get into her room, but I was right behind him. I stopped dead next to Edward.

Sophia must had just woken up, because she was standing next to the bed, simply looking around with her wide eyes, which were red now. She was paler than she used to be, but she didn't look as sickly. Her short, light brown hair wasn't tangled anymore and it looked shiny and healthy. All in all, she was the sweetest fifteen-year-old I'd even seen.

That is until she snarled and lunged herself at Rosalie, who in turn caught her and pushed her to the ground. Sophia jumped up again and tried to attack Jasper, who caught her wrists and linked them behind her back. Sophia started thrashing, but Emmet helped Jasper to contain her.

"She doesn't recognise us, does she?," Jayden asked. "I didn't recognised anyone after I've been changed. It was all a blur, just the thirst and the anger."

"I can try to calm her down," said Jasper, whose gift was connected with controlling emotions.

"Let me," Effie said. She stepped from behind Emmett, where she was hiding from any potential attack, and stopped in front of Sophia. She looked the trashing vampire in the eye, which was a challenge. "Now, Sophia, dear. Look around. We are all friends here and nobody will hurt you. That is, as long as you won't try and hurt anybody here. In that case, you will spontaneously combust and trust me, it will be painful."

Jayden winced and even I opened my eyes wide. Effie could be surprisingly harsh and creative for someone who was so strongly displeased every time she had to use violence. Even though, Sophia seemed convinced. She started trying to free herself and just looked at Effie with her wide eyes. Emmett and Jasper let go of her with some hesitation, but she stayed glued to the spot.

"Can I take her hunting now?," Jayden asked.

"I'll go with you," Edward said. "I did change her, after all."

"I'm very proud of you, son," Carlisle said. "Just be careful."

"And don't run into any more wolves," I added, but they were already gone, jumping out through the window.

Carlisle furrowed his eyebrows. "Wolves! I forgot to warn you. Did you meet the Quileutes?"

I was wondering how does one forget about something like a pack of werewolves running in the woods all around his own house, but I let it go. "We did. One of them imprinted on me."

The Cullens gasped collectively. Effie, who didn't know the word, just frowned. I explained her what does it mean and then she laughed, which wasn't too nice. "Puppy love," she said between giggles. "Isn't it charming?"

"No?," I asked. "It's creepy, that's what it is."

"I don't think the Quileutes see it like that," Alice said softly.

"Sure, from their perspective it's a very clever mechanism. This is my imprint. My imprint is mine, hence I can do whatever with her. Tradition. I can't believe I'm the first one to point it out. Surely some other girls or boys…?"

"From what we know, it's just girls," Carlisle said. "There was some sort of ruckus when one of the Quileutes imprinted on a girl of three, but obviously no protests on her side." My face was probably saying it all, because Carlisle quickly added, "The relationships are not sexual if the imprint doesn't wish them to be. And definitely not when she's underage."

I was wincing from the moment that he said 'just girls', but I let it go. It was getting better and better. "Can we all just agree not to use the word 'imprint' ever again?," I asked.

"Oh, no!," Effie cried out. "I was going to address you only this way from now on!"

"No, Effie," I said simply. "I'll go wait for them downstairs."

The truth was, I wanted to be alone, which was hard to achieve when you lived with ten other people, most of whom were vampires and had enhanced hearing, making any private conversation close to impossible. I sat on the stairs in front of the house, just thinking. I wasn't ever again going into the woods, that much was sure.

I wondered how Sophia and her happy parents were doing. Effie's hypnosis wouldn't work forever and at some point Sophia was bound to shake it off and go back to wanting us all dead. Supposedly she was going to be twice as bad as a regular new-born, seeing as she was also a teenager with all the drama that came with the term. Another thing was, she really had a lot of bad things in her past. It was bound to leave a scar on her psyche.

They came back some time later. Sophia was covered in blood, animal, judging by the smell, and the two vampires seemed happy with the hunt. I smiled at them, relieved that at least this went all right. We had too few reasons to celebrate.

Sophia looked at me in a very peculiar way and suddenly I felt very dizzy.

It is officially the weirdest thing ever. Weirder than when I saw my neighbor, Mr. Thomas, eating Mrs. Jenkins on her porch. Weirder than waking up as a vampire (not to mention finding out that they exist). One minute I was looking at Elle, who was sitting on the stairs, and wondering what is she frowning about, and the next moment I am watching my own body falling to the ground. As if it isn't strange enough that my body looks different from what I remember.

"Sophia?," Jay says alarmed, picking me – my body – up. "What's going on?"

"I have no idea," Edward admits. "It can have something to do with her gift activating? It's anybody's guess. Take her to Carlisle. And what happened to you, Elle?"

I go stiff. They don't know what is happening! I am going to tell them that suddenly I am in a strange body and I want out, now, but then again, maybe not. I mean, what harm could it be if I just explore a little? Just as I'm thinking that, memories start flooding me, and they definitely aren't mine. They are Elle's, pretty recent ones, I think. I watch them like a good movie and try not to listen to Elle's inner monologue that accompanies them. Is she mental? She always thinks the strangest things. Like when that werewolf pretty much confessed his undying affection and all she thinks about is how gross it is. Gross! I would be in seventh heaven!

I can be. I can pretend to be her, just a little bit. No one will ever know.

"Elle?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, sorry," I say. Elle's voice sounds different from the inside.

They disappear inside with my body and I follow them with eyes that for now are mine, then I look down. Elle dresses horribly, like a homeless person, in anything she can find. If I were her (which now I am, ha!) I would dress up more. Ok, I know we are in the middle of a war, but please. She is kind of pretty, though she doesn't look like supermodels. She is skinny, or at least that's how she looks underneath her baggy jumper, and a bit taller than me. Her eyes are blue and her hair is curly and so fair it looks silver. I wanted to dye my hair this way, but my mom wouldn't let me.

I reach further into Elle's mind to see if her parents have the same issues, but there is a wall there. She fights against me like she doesn't want me to know. It doesn't feel too nice, because now I remember I'm not alone here. Fair enough. Let her have her secrets.

These weren't my thoughts. It wasn't me who moved my hands and used my mouth to speak. It was hard to believe Jayden wouldn't see a difference between Sophia and me, but I suppose he was too preoccupied. I felt contained, closed in a small box and shoved to the far back of my own mind. I tried to scream and push against the walls of that prison and attack Sophia, but there was no use.

I could hear her thinking, but I didn't think she could hear me. Instead I tried to pull as many memories inside my box as I could, to keep them away from Sophia. There was a word, 'Duskborn', echoing inside my head and it caught her attention, but I wouldn't let her see anything connected with it. She just knew that it meant a hybrid.

I was sitting back and watching as Sophia used my body to stand up. She was moving awkwardly and she knew it. She looked at the house to see if anybody is watching her. I was, but she didn't care. She turned towards the forest and ran and suddenly I knew her plan. I tried to fight with new power, yelled at her not to be stupid, to stop this very instant. She didn't.

She wanted to see for herself what does it mean to be alive. Use all the chances she never had.

And she was planning to do it with my body, because that meant no consequences for her.

Oh please, Sophia, please, please, please.

Running with Elle's body feels different. She is slower than me as a vampire, but still faster than humans, so it takes me no time at all to find the place where Elle and Jay first met the werewolves. Ground is black here, because Elle burned the grass away. It's tempting to try and use her power just a little, but I'm afraid I may not be able to control it any better than she can. I smell the air just like Edward taught me to and tracks are there, visible for Elle's non-human senses. I take off running again, careful not to be seen.

I get to Jacob's little house in no time. It's on the edge of the woods and there is an open garage next to it. Jacob is inside, tinkering with a motorbike, which is cool beyond words. Also, he has his shirt off. I have no idea how Elle can just gloss over how good looking he is when she thinks about him.

He senses me when I approach him and looks up. I can see he's confused and then he also remembers he's supposed to be mad at me – well, her. No wonder. She treated him like a right bitch.

"Came to share your thoughts some more?," he asks sarcastically. "I can call my dad or something, he doesn't know how fucked up we all are, but I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear it."

Right, so he's really mad. Still not surprising or anything. "I came to apologize," I say sweetly and Elle's voice is really good for that. "I was mean and egoistic as hell."

He softens at once. I try not to stare too much at his muscular arms and his torso, oh my God his torso. He notices me staring anyway and I think he doesn't mind, because he smiles a little. "It's not like I can't see where you are coming from, just… You know how to make it really sting, don't you?"

"Yeah…," I say. I haven't noticed this in Elle, but whatever. I smile at him and he smiles back. This is just perfect. I don't have any experience with guys, because I was twelve when it all started and my mom had a no-boys policy, but it is easy. "So, what are you doing with that bike?," I ask to show interest. I've heard somewhere that guys like it.

'Come on, Sophia,' I thought at her with desperation, 'not for my sake, but for your own. Is it really how you want your first kiss to go? With a boy who thinks you are someone else? With someone else's lips?'

It had no effect on Sophia. She kept asking Jacob about the bike and giggling when she didn't know something, which was nearly all the time. Neither she nor I knew anything about mechanics in general. I had the worst feeling about where this was going, so instead of watching I tried to occupy myself with remembering my own first kiss.

Sophia would probably be scandalised if she knew it, but it wasn't until I was nineteen. As a hybrid I was aging differently from human girls. I looked seventeen when I was only seven and my father was afraid, and most likely rightly so, that someone may hurt me. It was fair easier for me to mingle with humans, because I looked almost like them, only my skin was paler and it glowed in the direct sunlight. It was with a young student who got into trouble. Some young men tried to rob him in a dark park. I was there, too, walking back home. They didn't see me, but I saw them. I could hear them threatening the student, so I did what I really shouldn't do. I jumped from behind the trees, all teeth and claws and ferocious growling – and some flame, which wasn't exactly what I'd planned. Back then it was easier to scare people and the three attackers ran away, screaming about vampires. They weren't too far away from the truth.

The student was looking at me with terrified and fascinated eyes. He was very handsome, with sharp cheekbones and jet-black hair. I thought him to be lovely, more so than other humans.

"I believe I owe you a thank you, miss," he said.

"It is not needed," I said quickly, becoming more and more embarrassed. "And it is all right to just call me 'Elaine'".

"I shall take that liberty further, with your consent, and call you 'Elle'." He was the first person to use that diminutive and it stayed with me ever since. I was afraid that Father will be worried if I won't get home soon, so I tried to explain it to the boy who said his name was James.

He looked taken aback that a creature like me should even have a father. "I shall insist on the thank you, then," he said and encircled my waist with his arm. I was unprepared for that, but excited and terribly nervous. He didn't have much experience, either, but he was very enthusiastic and kissed me in a manner as unearthly as he believed me to be.

And this is how the first kiss should be. Awkward and sweet, something to remember all your life and be just a bit ashamed of. It shouldn't be perfect. It should be honest.

It pained me greatly that Sophia used my body like it was a pair of gloves, but I was also worried for Sophia's sake. She was very fragile underneath it all, I could easily tell, and it was going to affect her. There was also a tiny, muffled voice that I strongly suspected to be my molested conscience, which was telling me to think about Jacob. Maybe I didn't like him, but he didn't deserve to be lied to. Especially not about that.

'Sophia, just think about it… Just think about how painfully I'm going to kill you once they get you out of my head!'

"So, does this… Jayden know that you are here, Elle?," Jacob asks. I lean over some toolbox that she shows me, trying to look cute and interested.

"I think not," I say honestly. "I don't have to tell him where I'm going. It's not like he's my dad or something."

"I was meaning to ask. Where is your dad? You mentioned he's a vampire."

I reach into Elle's memories, but she mostly tries to keep them away from me. Still, there is enough on the surface. "He kind of dropped me here. Me and my sister," I add quickly, remembering about Effie.

"Do you think I could meet him?," he asks nervously.

"What?," I gasp. "Like officially meet him? In a boyfriend-ish way?"

He grins hopefully. This is my moment. I nod and give him a small smile to encourage him and then he leans in and I nearly faint, because this is really it. He grabs my arms and suddenly he's not grinning anymore, he's very serious.

"What is going on here?," he asks from between his gritted teeth. "How do you look just like her?"

"Just like who? It's me, Jacob, really!"

"Don't lie to me! Where is Elle? You feel a bit like her, but not exactly. I thought I remembered something wrong, but no. You aren't her. Who are you?"

"You are hurting me!," I scream, trying to wriggle away. "I am Sophia, ok? I live with Elle. I don't know how this happened, I was just… Let me go! I want to go to Jayden."

"You will," he promises darkly. He picks me up like I'm a sack of potatoes and throws me over his shoulder. I can feel him trembling with anger and I'm honestly scared. He runs through the forest in long strides and this is ridiculous, so I try to bite or kick him, but he doesn't seem to mind. I call him names and yell at him all the things that Elle said earlier and then some more, but he doesn't make a single sound.

He stops in front of the house and Jayden is there with Emmett and Rosalie.

"What are you doing with Elle, dog?," Emmett snarls, ready to attack.

"That's not Elle," Jacob says evenly. "She said her name is Sophia. Do what you must, but get her out of that body!"

"Sophia," Jayden says slowly. "You are in deep trouble, Sophia, you know that?"

"Don't treat me like a child!," I yell as Jacobs puts me on my feet none-too-gently.

"You are a child," Rosalie says. "You just proved that. Now it's time to fix it, don't you think?"

"Fine! But just because I want to, not because you told me to." I storm up the stairs and to the room where my body lies. Edward is there, watching over it. I can tell that he heard everything, but he says nothing. I glare at my body and the vertigo is just off .

I opened my eyes with a start, realising I'm standing in the middle of Sophia's bedroom. It felt brilliant to be able to move my own body again, to think just my own thoughts, to be free. I focused my eyes on Sophia, who was just getting up. "You!," I screamed at jumped at her.

If Edward hadn't caught me, I would had quite possibly tore her to shreds with my own hands. Instead I was just screaming and kicking while Edward held me from behind with my legs inches above the ground.

"Is it Elle now?," Effie asked, peering into the room.

"Let go of me, Edward! She took my body on a joy ride! I have to murder her!"

"It's her," Effie said, relieved. "Stop being obnoxious, Elle, I'm trying to hug you."

I went still, allowing Effie to encircle me with her arms. It was an awkward hug, because Edward was still holding me, afraid I may change my mind at any moment and lunge myself at Sophia, who now backed away against a wall and was looking at me with terrified eyes. I sighed heavily.

"Just talk to her, Jay," I called towards Jayden, who was just climbing the stairs. "She's your responsibility now. I need to calm down. No, really, Edward, you can let go of me."

I did manage to smack Sophia over the head before I left, which gave me some satisfaction. I nearly jumped off the stairs and managed to catch Jacob before he disappeared into the woods again. Left to his own devices, he decided to retreat from the enemy's territory.

"Wait," I said and he stopped dead in his tracks. "It's me, Elle. For real."

"I know," he said, turning around. "And what happened to this Sophia?"

"She's dead."

"You killed her?," he asked, horrified.

"Not yet. But she's as good as dead the minute Jayden and Edward let her out of their sight."

Jacob laughed uncertainly. I wasn't exactly joking, but smiled nevertheless.

"I won't bother you anymore," he said. "I'm sorry you had to watch all of it, Elle. I should've noticed earlier."

"And how exactly?," I asked. "You figured it out and I'm grateful. Sophia made one good point. I was mean."

"You had every right to."

"Which doesn't mean I should. I don't need to be making enemies now, I need to be making friends, so… Truce?" I outstretched my hand and Jacob took it in his own, bigger and warmer, and shook it.

"Truce."

It surely was the most short-lived truce in the history of hybrids-werewolves relations. It lasted a bit over twenty-four hours, that is until the werewolves worked out that the Cullens broke another truce, an older one, by changing Sophia. Apparently, they weren't allowed to kill any human and it didn't particularly matter that Sophia would die anyway if Edward hadn't changed her just in the nick of time.

As an effect of this, we found ourselves standing outside the Cullens' house, surrounded by roughly twenty werewolves. They were in their wolf forms, so Edward was translating for us, reading their minds. I was trying to guess which one was Jacob.

"Why aren't they attacking?," Effie asked. She was standing behind Emmett, which seemed to be her typical spot, with one arm around Sophia, who was looking ahead with terrified eyes, which seemed to be her typical expression. "I mean, no protests here, but why aren't they attacking?"

I was still angry at Sophia – I strongly doubted I will stop any time in this century – but there was no way anyone was going to lay a hand or a paw on her. And if it took manhandling Jacob and his friends a little, so be it.

"They are arguing," Edward whispered back. "Jacob and Sam can't agree. Sam is all for killing every single one of us, save for Elle, because she is the… The 'i' word," he corrected himself quickly, catching my eye. "And Jacob doesn't wish to fight with us, but he can't disobey his Alfa."

"This is ridiculous, " I said loudly, so that everybody could hear me clearly. "All right, listen up or I will whistle again." One of the wolves snapped his head towards me and I just knew this is Jared. I looked at the wolf who I hoped was Sam. "I'm sorry for spoiling the fun by looking at the big picture, but we have zombie apocalypse on our plates, which I believe to be more important than old truces and bitten girls who are all right with it in the first place. Are they? I mean, are you, Sophia?"

"What? Yeah…"

"Smooth as always, sister," Effie murmured.

"Silence," I said, which was becoming my favourite word. "We are on the side of the humanity here and I suppose you are, too. Sophia here? Alive and happy, though not for long, if she won't keep away from me. And if changing everybody is what it takes to stop this madness, so be it."

I was starting to lose my cold reason and spinning downwards towards hysteria, but I didn't care. I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

"Sam asks what gives you the right to decide such things," Edward translated. "In other words, why you."

"I… I just don't want to see anybody else dying," I was speaking faster and faster. "I know this is very unlikely, especially with Father trying to keep me away from anything that is important because of his fear that my own mother may one day remember about me and decide to kill me, him and Effie here! So forgive me for trying to keep the casualties to the minimum while all of you want to kill each other!"

Alice caught my arm to calm me down. I was gasping for air now, not sure if I want to yell at them some more, hit something or run away. I could feel Effie's burning eyes on me. She wasn't privy to my mother's story, because Father and I preferred to keep it to ourselves. My veins were full of fire once more and it took all I had to keep it down.

Esme took my other arm, though whether it was for my comfort or their safety, I wouldn't know. Effie said my name, but it was coming from very far away. A single tremor went through my body and I wretched myself free. "Just… Sorry about that."

"Elle!"

I wasn't listening, too busy just running away from everything. I could hear Effie still calling behind me and trying to catch up with me. I wanted her to, but I couldn't stop. If I did, my own words would catch up with me and I was afraid it may just kill me.

"For fuck's sake, Elle, wait!"

Effie wasn't very fond of swearing, so I knew she was very angry and had ran out of ideas how to express it. I stopped dead, tripping and leaning heavily against a tree. Effie was just behind me.

She slapped me.

"This is how I find out? Surrounded my strangers? Are you really that insane, Elle?"

I couldn't say a word, so Effie slapped me again, and then started crying. My cheek stung, but I did nothing.

"I'm your sister, Elle. You aren't alone in this mess. I know you and Father think I'm weak and that's fine, I am."

"That's not it," I said at last. My throat hurt when I spoke and I was close to tears, but I refused to cry for Effie's sake. "You are just too much like Heather."

"And are you too much like your mother?"

I winced. I decided I preferred it when she was slapping me. "Quite possibly yes, Effie, that's the whole point. Have I even told you what's her name? Cornelia. A common, normal name for a woman like her.

She was somewhat odd, from what Father told me, even as a human. Liked to keep to herself. They still fell in love somehow and gave life to me in the process, however strange it may seem in the light of what I'm about to tell you. After Cornelia – can we just call her Cornelia? – became a vampire, which was just after I was born, she started showing her newly acquired gift. Would you like to hazard a guess here?"

"I don't know," said Effie, who was looking at me like a deer caught in the headlights, expecting the worst. And rightly so. "Something with fire, I suppose, so you have it from her?"

"Not even close. Or very close, whichever you prefer. Fire is the force of life and Cornelia was this incarnated. She was just few days old when she started bringing things back to life. Birds and cats and dogs and then a horse and one day a human. She was so very afraid and broken about it, she didn't want to be around anything living. She ran away to hide from the world, leaving me behind under Father's care, surrounding herself with the dead to keep her company. And then, three years ago, humans walked out of their graves."

I rested my forehead on Effie's shoulders and watched our hair falling together down her back, hers dark and mine very light. It looked grey against hers, like she was an old woman. She was crying and I still hadn't shed a single tear.

"Elle… I'm so sorry, so very sorry… I love you, you know that."

"I love you too. I don't want anything to happen to you and I'm afraid of what Cornelia's planning. I'm afraid it may have something to do with me. I'm afraid of what's going on in her head right now. I'm afraid Father may be in danger. I'm afraid it will never end. I'm just so very afraid, Effie, all the time."

She just held me with as much desperation as she slapped me moments before. Father wasn't right, Effie was strong, but on a different level than him and me. She had the strength to love people, not just kill for them. She had the courage it took to embrace me after what I'd just told her.

"It will all be fine," she said.

"This is the worst lie ever and you know that," I said.

"It's not a lie!," she screamed angrily through her tears. "It will be. You will see. We will work it out. In three weeks Father comes back and you can ask him everything and we will work it out."

I was admiring the conviction with which she said that. I could hear someone approaching us rapidly and I turned around, not letting go of Effie. It was Rosalie, alarmed and ridiculously beautiful, all things considered.

"It's important," she said quickly. I wasn't sure how I looked right now, but probably more fierce than anything else, because she never explained herself like that. "Something happened. Edward says there was a… split in the pack and now there are two of them. One Sam's and one Jacob's. Supposedly your wolf said 'no', which is a very big deal."

"And?," I asked despite myself. I wasn't so sure I wanted to know.

"I'm not sure," Rosalie said in the tone of voice people usually used to say 'I honestly don't give a damn'. "There is some fighting. Jacob's pack is on our, well, your side. Maybe you could come over there and distract them with another attack of hysteria?"

I thought that Rosalie was far better in distracting then I was, because I almost forgot about all my own drama in face of how annoyingly she managed to say those few sentences. I dropped my arms and shrugged.

"I suppose I still have some angst to share," I said. "Do you know that feeling when you need to share something and when you do it's just not chocking you anymore and you can do something you thought is impossible?"

"Not really," Rosalie said and Effie shook her head. "Can we go now?"

Effie used the little time she had on our way back to inform me that I have no talent for putting my thoughts into coherent sentences. Rosalie was exaggerating – there wasn't much of a fight going on. Actually, there were only seven werewolves present and they were in their human forms. I amused myself with picturing them in shirts for a change, except for Leah, who actually wore one. The Cullens, Sophia and Jayden were inside the house, from what I could hear.

"You should be fine now," Jacob said. "They're gone."

"That's good," I said. "And are you ok?"

"I don't feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, if that's what you mean."

I rolled my eyes. "All right, so it's fashionable now to make fun of my outburst. I love it how supportive you all are."

"You don't want my pity," Jacob said with conviction.

"No. You know what I want?"

Effie waved her hands in the air to indicate that she doesn't wish to know. She disappeared into the house and Rosalie followed her, not making any attempt to explain herself. Even the werewolves read it wrong, because they retrieved to the forest. I raised my eyebrows.

"What?," Jacob asked suspiciously.

"Oh, seriously! Not that! I just want to show you something."

Now it was Jacob's time to raise his eyebrows.

"Not that!," I said again. "This."

It was the first time in my life when I was so perfectly convinced that what I'm about to do must work out. I outstretched my hand, palm up. Jacob was about to ask me what am I doing, but I shook my head to keep him quiet. A small, rather shaky flame blossomed just above my hand and danced there, raising up and then shrinking again.

"I could never grasp the idea of controlling it," I said, making the fire jump from my one hand to the other, "and I think it was because I was so busy with repressing all of it that I just didn't have space in my mind. Then there was that thing with Sophia and my memories came flooding and I had to either face them or lock them up again. I decided I can't go on like that forever."

"I'm very proud of you," Jacob said seriously and I could feel a blush, even more burning than the feeling of my blood catching fire which I came to associate with using my gift. "You need to share some of that baggage of yours, you know?"

"I suppose," I said. I closed my hand and the fire extinguished. "I shouldn't waste so much time. I can practice while I wait for Father, and train."

"And what will happen when he gets back?," Jacob asked. He tried to sound casual, but he was anxious. I almost forgot about the 'i' word and now it felt heavy on my tongue, bitter. Like he was cheating on our growing friendship with some idealised version of me that he could never get.

"We will travel again. There is much to be done. If I learn how to use my gift, maybe it will be just a bit easier. Maybe it will let me live for just one more day, win just one more fight."

"I can help you practice, if you want."

"You would get burned. A lot. You may heal quickly, but you aren't fireproof."

"And are you, Elle?"

That was a good question. I just raised my eyebrows, because I really didn't know. It wasn't like I ever stuck my hand into a fireplace just to see how it feels. Vampires were extremely flammable, so I didn't wish to experiment. Then again, I never did get burned, even when I lost control over my gift. I presumed it was because I was in the eye of the cyclone, but now I wasn't so sure. There was something about that thought that made me uneasy.

"I nearly forgot. What was it about you disobeying Sam? Rosalie was a bit hazy on the details."

Jacob's face fell. "Right. It was weird. Sam way using his Alpha voice on me to make me obey him and I was really going to, because I thought I had no choice. But I didn't want to. I said 'no' and it worked. Suddenly I was alone in my own head, and the others joined me. Seth and Leah and four other wolves. I guess it's because I declined the position at the beginning. It's all about family lines and so on."

"Then I'm proud of you, too. You took a stand. I highly appreciate it. Will you be in a lot of trouble back at the Reservation?"

"No, I don't think so. Sam has to think about it and he doesn't want to fight with people who just moments ago were a part of his own Pack. I feel the same way."

"Obviously," I agreed. "He will come around, you will see."

Jacob tried to smile, but it didn't quite work out. I was feeling oddly hopeful and life taught me to be wary of that feeling. Optimism was good, but hope – not so much.

"So," Jacob said. "I'll get something good for burns from town and then we can meet at my house for some… Meet outside my house for some practice, how about it?"

"That's great. Um… You don't trust me not to burn your house to the ground?"

"To be honest, no."

"Fair enough."

We all decided to use our time a little bit more wisely than screaming at the top of our lungs – Rosalie's exact words – which meant something different for every one of us. Effie and Alice, who were developing a kind of girly and giggly friendship, were spending their days together, putting down Alice's visions for future reference, with the help of Jasper. Jayden, Edward and Emmett were training Sophia in fighting and Carlisle, who spent nearly whole days in the hospital, was explaining to her the importance of self-control and not stealing people's bodies. Esme was helping out in the hospital, so I hadn't seen a lot of her.

I was splitting my days between exercising my gift with Jacob and discussing strategies, ideas and current happenings with Jayden, Jacob, Jasper and Edward. I was getting to know other werewolves and even Sam was starting to talk to me like a civilised person.

Making fun of my outburst became everybody's favourite activity. I didn't argue with it too much, because we needed some laughter.

Everything was going perfectly.

I should had been alarmed at this point.

It was three weeks after Effie and me came to Forks. I was getting restless, though I tried to preoccupy myself, and Effie was openly devastated. Even Alice was unable of cheering her up. We still had a week of time before the date Father set. We hadn't received a single message from him. I didn't really expect any, but talking about it over and over again was making me nervous.

And then Alice said that there is a vampire approaching Forks. Nobody said anything, but we all hoped it was Father – at least Effie and I certainly did. After Alice précised that it's a female we were mostly confused. Effie sighed painfully and ran upstairs, and I lost all interest, so when this vampire was within Cullens' range of interest, I didn't go with Edward, Carlisle and Emmett to check who it was. I stayed in with Sophia, who was trying to win me over by meaningless chatter.

"Elle," Edward said, walking into the living room. "You may want to call Effie. Her mother is here."

"Heather?," I asked, as if Effie had some number of mothers from which she could choose.

Before Edward had a chance to answer me, Carlisle and Emmett came back. Between them was walking an older, red-headed version of Effie. Heather was just as freckled and dove-eyed, as lovely and innocent. She smiled at me wearily and then Effie was running down the stairs, making some sort of high-pitched voice. She threw her arms around her mother. I approached them a bit more warily, because even though I loved Heather greatly, it was a mother-daughter moment. Heather gathered me to herself nevertheless.

"We'll give you some privacy," Carlisle murmured and they left.

Suddenly I realised that the only reason why Heather wasn't crying was because she was unable to. I looked at her in alarm.

"My girls, my beautiful girls," she sobbed. "We'll be fine, I'll take you to South America with me, it's all right."

"Mom?," Effie whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Oh Effie… Elle… I just found out and I came here as soon as I could. I was with Nahuel and Huilen and one of nomads brought the news. It's your Father. I'm so sorry… He was killed."

Effie could cry, and cry she did. I watched her as if from afar as she fell to her knees, gasping for air and trembling. Heather knelt next to her, stroking her dark hair. We were talking about my Father here, too, but I felt like an intruder in their grief. They knew a different Father, a caring and gentle man who protected them and I knew a determined and strong vampire whose guiding hand and commanding voice were with me at all times.

"Elle…"

"I… I have to go, Heather," I choked out.

I burst through the door, realising how often I just try to run away from my trouble. I still couldn't cry, my sadness was muffled by overpowering fright. What would become of me now that Father was dead? How was I to prevail?

I didn't much care for where I was going, just focusing on the sensation of wind in my hair and ground beneath my feet. When I felt someone approaching, I slowed down, half-hoping it was an enemy.

It wasn't. It was Seth Clearwater, in his human form, apparently on the watch duty today.

"Elle?" He looked alarmed. His big, dark eyes were honest and worried.

"My Father is dead, Seth. I have no idea what to do."

"Oh. Oh God, Elle, I'm so sorry." He embraced me awkwardly, not sure what to do. I wasn't good at being consoled, so it all evened out.

I sniffed in a very pitiable way. "I just need to sort it out."

"It's not something you sort out, Elle. My dad died, too, and it's not like it's getting more logical. Easier, I guess, but not in a making-sense kind of way."

"That's bad," I said. "I'm a making-sense kind of person. Well, I like it when things make sense, though I'm not sure whether I do. This is… I wish I could cry."

"Can't you?"

"I think the tears get burned away."

I threw my arms around Seth's neck. He was playing with a strand of my hair, trying not to look me in the eye. He cleared his throat. "I can take you to Jake…"

"I don't want to explain all of this to him," I said. "I just need to…"

I wasn't sure what I was going to say. I tried to ignore that terrible place in my head where sureness of my Father's well-being should be. I was afraid that the whole world outside of Forks was gone along with him. What was the point of it? I was waiting to get sucked into the emptiness.

"Jake likes your hair. It's sort of silver."

"It is?," I asked absent-mindedly. "Can we just… Be here?"

Seth nodded slowly. He was young, but nearly as tall as all the other werewolves. He did look me in the eye now and maybe it wasn't such a good move. He looked extremely resigned about something.

I couldn't in a million years tell whether it was me who climbed onto my toes or him who leaned down, or possibly both. We met halfway and kissed as if there was nothing else to expect in our lives. He touched my back, ribs, hips hungrily and I tried to steal some of his warmth, taste him with all of my being.

"Elle," he murmured against my lips. "We can't. Jake…"

I jumped away from him as if burned – well, maybe not burned – and looked angrily at his flushed face. "He doesn't own me."

"I know, you've made that very clear. But he's my Alpha and I'm just confused. Hormones and hearing him go on and on about you in my head…"

"You fancy me, right?," I asked. I desperately needed to hear that somebody cared about me for me alone.

"You are so British sometimes, you know?," Seth smiled a little despite himself. "I like you. A lot. I think Jake knows and it's bad enough as it is. And there is no point in making it worse, because you don't like me back. It could be anyone here. You are just sad, Elle. I don't think this is the best y of dealing with it."

I sighed. Seth was right, I was acting terribly egoistic. I should use my wrath for something else, something more productive. Instead I was hitting on underage boys. I felt nauseated.

"I was being horrible, sorry, Seth."

"It's not like I strongly protested," Seth pointed out. "Can I do something to make you feel better? Something that doesn't involve us… You know."

Seth made a vague gesture with his hand, which was probably supposed to indicate sex. I kept my distance, trying not to scare him any further. He looked terribly on edge.

"Can you leave me alone now? I think I shouldn't be around people. There is something I have to do, but I don't know how to do it."

"What is it? Can I help?"

"Yes. I will need a lot of help. Waiting is bad for me. See where waiting took me? Thanks, Seth."

"Sure. Take care of yourself." Seth dropped a kiss on my forehead and left me standing alone between the trees. It felt colder now that he was gone. I closed my eyes and started counting backwards all the things I did wrong, from today to the very beginning.

We, Effie and I, were of the Duskborn. Children born on the edge of day and night, out of human and vampire, life and death. Born of the Dusk. We walked the invisible barriers, never quite belonging in neither place. Instead of being grateful for both worlds, we tried to create one for our own. Father was the only one keeping me grounded. Now I was floating, unable to stay put.

Far away, I could hear a wolf howl. Seth must had changed and Jacob listened in on his thoughts, found out what happened between the two of us. I waited for him to come and be angry with me – scream at me, call me out on my behaviour, anything – but he never did. There was just this single, long howl, and then silence.

I knew what I had to do.

"No," Effie said calmly. Heather just looked at me. I couldn't tell what she was seeing, but it made her upset.

"I'm not asking for your agreement," I said. It broke my heart, but I had to be harsh. One moment of feeling and I would break. "Heather and you will go back to Nahuel. He will take care of you. I can't have you here."

"What you can't is to be alone," Effie said. "You are planning a war here, Elle, you mean to set thing in motion in ways I can't even begin to understand. It's impossible to do on your own."

"I won't be on my own. I'll have Cullens to help me. Quileutes are willing to help, too." I knew it from Sam, because Jacob refused to talk to me. It wasn't like I didn't deserve it. I felt bad about what Seth had to go through, too, and purposefully tried to keep away from him.

"We are your family," Effie snapped.

"And I need you to be safe. I need my head clear. I need to know there is something out there, something worth fighting for. A reason to prevail."

"You are the spitting image of Cian, Elle," Heather said suddenly. "This is exactly what he would say. However, I'm not sure whether you realise that you aren't him. You don't owe him your death, my dear."

"No. I owe him your life, yours and Effie's. Please, listen to me just this once."

Heather kissed me on the forehead, very much like Seth did before. "You will always be my daughter, just as much as Effie is."

"Mom, you can't mean you agree with her…"

"Some of us aren't coined for this life. Elle is the eldest of our little clan now, she gets to make this sort of decisions. Say good-bye to your new friends, Effie, we are leaving today."

Effie gaped at us. Her mouth was actually hanging open and she was looking between Heather and me with round eyes. She made a sort of huffing noise and stormed out of the room. I could hear her yell something angrily at Emmett.

"Well, she took it well," I said casually.

"I didn't want to say anything in front of Effie, but are you sure? You have to realise you are waving a red flag at Cornelia."

"That's more or less the point," I said. "There is no way I can find her, she can be living in La Push or in Johannesburg. I want her to find me."

Heather winced. "That sounds a lot like a suicide mission, Elle."

That was the first time that particular, strange thought entered my mind: I shall burn alive.

The scariest part of it was, I didn't find that thought disturbing. I wasn't afraid of where it came from, though it did suggest I have some very dark places inside my mind. I was yearning for this to happen. Wishing for the flames to burn everything away, burn me away and leave nothing behind, not even ashes.

Effie and Heather left the very same day. Effie was still distinctly angry and Heather was mostly concerned. I wanted to send Jayden with them for their safety and then I wanted to send Sophia, just to get her out of the way, but Jayden, to whom I related this idea, pointed out that we needed all the people here and Effie went through the same training with Father that I did.

My room felt empty now that Effie was gone, but I knew it's for the best. I knew these are my last days in Forks – or my last days alive – but I kept running into walls in my head when I thought about how I should spend it. I wanted to talk to Seth, but it was clear he didn't share that desire. I wished to see Jacob and maybe talk him into playing with fire a bit more, but he wasn't talking to me. But most of all I wanted to see Father. It would all be easier if he was here to make the hard decisions for me. I missed him all the time.

How do you spend your last days?

I had many answers to that. Partying was somewhere on that list and I almost laughed out loud at how unlikely that was. Finishing the books I never had time to read. Going through my plan one more time. Annoying Carlisle by asking him over and over again to go through it again with me.

Mending my ways.

First of all I found Sophia, who was sitting with Edward, trying to learn to play chess. She gave me a very startled look when I approached her. "Hi," she said in an impressively high-pitched voice.

"Hello. I just need you to know that you are forgiven."

"Oh no." Sophia jumped to her feet and backed away. She looked at me over Edward's shoulder. "You are going to kill me, aren't you? Ed, she's going to kill me."

"I never said that! Well, not today. I'm really no longer mad at you. I hope you will use your powers for doing good."

"Ok," Sophia said slowly, suspiciously. Then she suddenly clasped her hands over Edward's arms. "Oh no, Elle's dying."

"Elle's not dying, Sophie. She's just being overly dramatic."

I ignored a sudden urge to comment on that 'Ed and Sophie' thing they had going on. It was odd to notice that people around me were going about with their lives, creating bonds and planning for the future. I had nothing to look forward to and in my experience that never led to anything good.

"Also, you were right, Sophia. I was acting like a bitch, which isn't really something I should do to people I'm asking to follow me into…"

"Into the fire?," Sophia asked with a knowing look. "I wasn't only in your body, Elle, I was in your mind. Once more, sorry about that. But anyway, you were blocking me from a place in your head."

"Quite enthusiastically, yes," I said. "Go on."

"It wasn't the only place that was kind of a no-go. When I was roaming around – um, wrong word, sorry – I saw… There is a lot of fire there, isn't there?"

"That's more or less Elle's gift," Edward pointed out and I nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I know. There's more to it. Caged, closed, locked out or something. You should be careful."

I blinked in confusion. It certainly wasn't how I thought this conversation will go. Sophia was the last person I'd expected an advice from.

"I thought I actually got a grasp on it," I said, disappointed.

"You will," Edward said, smiling. "Don't worry. Sophie and you are getting better and better."

I looked at Sophia, who was still standing behind Edward. She was picking at his jacket, playing with some loose thread.

I wished them a good day, which earned me some disturbed looks, and borrowed Emmett's car. I was sick and tired of running around in the woods and it never ended well. I drove to the Blacks' house, happily not crashing the car. I wasn't much of a driver.

I wasn't much of an erudite, either, at least according to Effie, so I was nervous. I knocked at the door of the house and waited. After a moment I decided to take a step back, in case Jacob decided to hit me on the spot.

The door opened at last, but it wasn't Jacob who opened it, it was his father, Billy Black. He was an old Native American, sitting in a wheelchair. We never had a chance to really talk and I wasn't sure how much Jacob told his father.

"Jake doesn't want to talk with you," Billy said and went on to slam the door in my face.

"Wait!," I screamed. "I want to apologize. Beg for forgiveness. Possibly crawl."

Billy didn't look amused. To be fair, I didn't find the whole situation too funny, either. I shifted uncomfortably under Billy's scrutinising gaze.

"Stay here," he barked.

He did slam the door then and for a moment I thought he may just leave me here to rot. It was just beginning to drizzle, making me feel damp and even more miserable.

Jacob appeared after few minutes, actually fully dressed. His jaw was set, and he nodded at me sharply, indicating I should follow him. We hid beneath the roof of the garage. Jacob leaned against a wall and I perched on some spare tire.

The silence was thick and cold.

"I'm a bitch," I said.

"Can't argue here."

"I was upset, which isn't a worthy excuse, and I acted… Well, um, like an egoistic bitch."

"Can't argue here."

"I wish you stopped repeating it."

"I wish you stopped making out with my pack-mates. Whose. Thoughts. I. Share." It was hard to understand him, because he was talking through gritted teeth. His eyes seemed to be black from rage.

"I… I'm really sorry."

Jacob sighed heavily and crossed the garage to sit next to me. "Ok, I know you were upset about your dad. We all deal with grief in different ways… And you do it by being a bitch. There is no better word for someone who used a boy's crush."

"I should apologize to him, too."

"Don't," Jacob said a bit too quickly. "I'd prefer it if you didn't talk to him too much."

"Right," I agreed. "That's probably for the better. I like avoidance as a way of dealing with problems. The point that I'm trying to get across here is: I miss your company."

"Same here, but you are killing me."

"I promise to be a better friend from now on," I said, crossing my heart.

"I've heard you are on a suicidal mission, so it may be a short-lived friendship. You know we will help you out."

I nodded. I leaned over, resting my elbows on my knees. "Can we make a plan? Something I will have to look forward to after… If I…," I stuttered. I had serious trouble saying what was on my mind, but I thought if anyone was to understand it, it would be Jacob. "If I survive."

"Of course you will," Jacob said. "How about we travel? We could leave for, I don't know, Greece. Somewhere hot. We will spend whole days laying on a beach and swimming and eating strange local food. You will wear summer dresses and I will bring you fresh olives."

I couldn't help but smile. Jacob had an easy way about him that just made me feel better, regardless of how worried I'd been before. For thousandth time I wished Jacob hadn't the-'i'-word on me. It would be so much easier and better. I was starting to like Jacob and it felt like disregarding my own beliefs.

Even now, sitting so close to Jacob and just enjoying his company, there was still a part of me that remembered how horrible it felt the first time I heard the 'i' word. I knew that Jayden and Edward found it hilarious that I avoided using word 'imprint' as if it was a swear word.

"That's terribly cliché," I said.

"My life is too strange as it is. I want a cliché with you."

It was odd, but I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks.

"That would be nice, I suppose," I said. "Thanks. And on an unrelated note, I'm thinking next Wednesday."

"For…?"

"Setting off. I want to go next Wednesday, start traveling North and East, where most attacks take place. Hopefully Cornelia will notice the pattern. I know for sure that she wants me alive, that's a part of why Effie, Father and me were hiding."

"Are you sure?," Jacob asked worriedly. "It still sounds suicidal."

"No, it's fine, I'm perfectly sure she wants to kidnap me for some sinister reason." I wrinkled my nose. "Huh, who knew, it does sound rather insane."

Jacob snorted with laughter, though it was quite humourless. Not only him, but all of us had reached the point where we didn't really have the strength to care anymore. I had a feeling that when I finally meet face to face with Cornelia, I will start laughing hysterically.

"That gives us five days. What are you going to do with that time?"

"I wasn't sure how long will it take to apologize to you. I've been thinking, couple days. I was planning on camping," I said. "Right now I'm mostly concerned with what Sophia said to me. She warned me about something she saw in my mind, something connected with fire and…"

I trailed off. I wasn't sure how to say it, as I never shared it, even with Effie. Jacob wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

"One thing keeps coming back to me. I can't help it, but I hear it over and over again. I shall burn alive. And I can't wait for this to happen. I'm thrilled by it."

Before I had a chance to make myself more understandable, Jacob picked me up with one hand and pulled me onto his lap. At first I went very stiff, because I wasn't really used to physical contact as a form of comforting someone. Then I realised this may very well me one of my last days and Sophia's line of reasoning came back to me.

I sighed and rested my forehead on Jacob's arm in resignation. He smelled like forest and rain and he held me in a way that would probably be more appropriate if I were made of glass.

"You are just very lost, Elle. We will figure this one out on our private beach in Greece, how about it?"

"So now it's a private beach?," I mumbled against Jacob's collar bone. "Nice. Seems like something I can build on."

And so we did left on Wednesday. Only Carlisle and Esme stayed, because it wasn't fair to leave the townspeople unprotected and without a doctor at that. We had to leave the girls the wolves the-'i'- word on with them. The werewolves weren't too keen on that, but it was the best solution. They couldn't very well go with us, it would be too much risk, and we couldn't split the Pack any further to leave the wolves as their guardians. I strongly believed that I could trust Carlisle and Esme with them. I would put my own life in their hands if the need would be. I discussed it with Sam and even though he was tentative to let Emily out of his sight in those hard times, he agreed with me.

There was a small voice in my head that pointed out the hypocrisy in my line if thought: I was fine with Carlisle and Esme looking after the-'i'-words and even having my back if the need shall arise, but I couldn't leave Effie and Heather in their custody. My own family was the only one I was irrational about, my weakness even bigger than my lack of focus in times of crisis. I needed Effie and Heather to be as far away from where I was planning the fight as it was possible. It was different with them. As I said before, I needed them safe. If they weren't there, the emptiness that crept towards me since Father's death would swallow me whole. They were my anchor. I felt as if they kept not only my grief, but also the flames at bay. The fire wouldn't hurt them, either. It was on their orders. It was there to protect them.

It was raining on the day we left, which was traditional for Forks, and we went on our feet, leaving everything behind, except for camping equipment that we more or less stole from an abandoned shop in Forks. We were traveling like a mini-army, in a long column, wandering the empty highways. I was walking at the front, leading the way as if there was any direction to it all.

I noted that we were quite successful at cleaning the world from zombies. There was a lot of us, we were trained in fighting and we were determined. We were an army and I was leading the way.

I shall burn alive.