Boredom and insanity are the only explanation I can give for writing this story. Well, and my newest obsession with writing from the POV of serial killers and psychopaths, as many of you probably know ^^ Since I have dabbled (and apparently excelled) in writing BBxRaito, KiraxRaito seemed like an interesting pairing to try. Hopefully I did a good job at writing this pairing too! But please, leave me a review and let me know what you think!
Dedicated to: my adorable Otouto-chan, Kira-the-Shinigami! I know it's late, but happy birthday, little brother! I hope this story is as deliciously evil as my BBxRaito stuff :P
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, and I never will (stabs at lawyers with a pitchfork)! So don't sue me, for Kami's sake! The only thing I own is some cash, several books, and the laptop upon which I type my fanfic!
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Raito laid his hand on the polished surface, frowning slightly as he contemplated the figure staring back at him. The reflection wasn't him, of that he was sure. While they had similar features, the teenager with rich, mahogany hair had a face better befitting a fallen angel; high cheekbones, a gentle upward tilt to his eyes, which were hooded by long, silky lashes, and full lips just barely hinted with a soft pink undertone.
Now, Raito knew he was beautiful; he'd been told it often enough in his life. Girls flocked around him, and some guys, all telling him that he was an attractive individual. Even L had expressed, a few times in their bedroom, that he was beautiful, at which Raito had blushed and turned away. Honestly, he didn't truly take any of those comments to heart. Yes, he was attractive. Good looking. The boy in the mirror? He was gorgeous, possessing an ethereal beauty no human could ever match. It wasn't him, the reflection.
That only left one problem. If it wasn't him, then who was it? Leaning forward, Raito stared at the figure, gasping slightly as he saw the boy's eyes. Now he knew it wasn't him. Where his own were a deep, caramel brown, the boy's irises were a brilliant shade of ruby red. They practically shone within the mirror, and a dark, hungry gleam was threaded like strands of silk within the red depths, paired with deception and a wild kind of savagery, creating eyes that were eerily beautiful, but deadly. Raito remembered seeing such eyes only once before, in his nightmares, and shuddered. The memory of the glowing red irises was forever imbedded in his mind. There was only one person he could think of who would have such dark, alluring eyes. But, could it be possible…?
As if drawn against his will, Raito felt himself lean closer, and stared at the boy opposite him. Was this…what Kira looked like? This beautiful young man, with tanned skin and hair that appeared as if were spun of the rarest silk, and glowed a rich mahogany in the faint light? Was it…even possible? Raito grimaced, feeling a dull panic flare in his chest. He didn't believe this was him in the mirror, but they did look awfully alike….no one else would be able to tell the difference, likely. So, if this was Kira, then wouldn't that be the same as admitting he was Kira?
Shaking his head, Raito took a step back, but didn't remove his hand from the mirror, his fingers gently trembling. No….this couldn't be Kira. He couldn't be Kira. This was just a parody of himself. That had to be it. The mirror was showing him a beautified, twisted angel version of himself, that was all. This wasn't Kira. And besides, the boy staring out at him was attractive. As narcissistic as it sounded, Raito knew the boy in the mirror, who so resembled himself, couldn't be Kira, because he was beautiful. Kira was not beautiful. It just….wasn't possible. The Kira he'd imagined was a monster, not the gorgeous teenager smiling at him from within the polished mirror. There were no claws, or fangs, or hideous smiles; nothing at all reminiscent of the demon he'd always pictured was visible in the brunette standing before him in the polished depths.
No, it wasn't impossible. He couldn't be Kira.
Inside the mirror, the brunette tilted his head, adopting a curious look as he and Raito locked gazes. Suddenly, his petal pink lips parted into a smile, one that sent goose bumps down Raito's spine. "Really?" He let out a husky laugh, and, reaching his hand up, laid it on his side of the glassy surface, copying Raito. "What makes you so sure, Raito-kun? You don't think Kira could be beautiful? You think he should look like a monster, with horns, or maybe some fangs?" Chuckling, he splayed his fingers, and Raito, who was staring at the mirror in shock, swore he felt head radiating from the mirror where the boy's fingertips were. "Well, Raito-kun?"
"……no….I don't. It's just--he can't be," Raito stammered, trying to remain calm. It was hard. As if it wasn't bad enough that he could actually talk, considering he was a reflection, the boy had a chilling laugh, one that was hypnotic, but dark. Evil. Raito shook his head, shuddering at the sound, and forced a cool expression onto his face, even though his gut was writing with unease. "Who are you?"
Letting out another cruel laugh, the brunette moved closer, his body practically flat against the mirror. "Who am I? Isn't it obvious?" Red eyes glimmered, a smirk toying the corners of his lips as he lifted a hand and delicately pressed a single forefinger to himself, then the glass. "I'm you, Raito. Don't you recognize your own reflection?"
"My--my reflection?" Raito frowned, shaking his head. "Impossible."
"Oh? And why is that? Because I'm beautiful?" His smirk widen ding, the boy languidly ran a hand through his hair, pushing the locks out of his eyes. They shone with knowledge; he knew exactly what Raito had been thinking. "Naïve little Raito-kun. Besides this one, have you looked in a mirror lately? You're very attractive. Or should I say we're very attractive?" A cold smile froze on his lips as he tucked a strand of mahogany hair behind his ear, and then, all at once, his eyes darkened, a black aura silently cloaking his tall frame. "Poor Raito," he purred, his husky voice washing over Raito's skin and making it crawl. "How's it been, living without me for so long? Do you miss my presence? Maybe, my touch….?" The brunette caressed the mirror again, and Raito swore he saw it shimmer for a split second. But then the hand dropped, and the teen inside crossed his arms, a mocking smile on his lips. "Tell me, dearest Raito-kun; is L still convinced we're Kira?"
"Wha--?" Raito felt his heart clenching, but he pushed his uneasiness aside and forced himself to move forward, until his legs were practically brushing the mirror. "How did you know that," he snapped, struggling to contain the horrified fear he knew was creeping into his voice. But the boy obviously saw through it, for he burst into laughter, his red eyes gleaming with mirth. "What? What's so funny?!"
"You are, Raito!" Still laughing, the brunette took a calming breath, his cheeks flushed a pale pink. Flashing Raito a smile that sent a cold chill down his spine, he took his hand away and crossed his arms, adopting a poised, elegant stance that was unnervingly like his own. "You're barely perturbed by the fact that you're talking to a reflection, and yet you refuse to believe that I'm Kira, simply because I'm attractive? And then you wonder why I know all about you and your precious detective, when I already explained that I'm you? Honestly, you dare call yourself a genius?"
Raito started to say something, anything to get the other boy to shut his mouth and quit creating the uneasy sensation in his heart, but the brunette grinned at him and brought a finger to the mirror, right where Raito's lips would be. Silencing him. "Would you like me to tell you a secret, Raito-kun?" His voice came out silky smooth, like a purr, but it was laced with a sinister undertone that had Raito shaking, as hard as he tried to hide it.
"A--a secret?"
Leaning forward, his red eyes shining bright as fire, the other boy nodded, smirking. "Earlier, remember what you said? About my not being Kira? He palmed the mirror, his fingernails clenching, as if they were actually cutting into the glass. "You thought, because I was beautiful, that I couldn't be a monster? I couldn't be Kira?" His teeth flashing, he dug his nails deeper, if it was even possible, while Raito watched on with a growing sense of horror eating at his chest. This couldn't be happening…it couldn't!
"No…." Raito whispered, and the other boy smirked.
"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, Raito," he murmured, and sepia eyes widened.
"You--you mean…?" the words refused to form on Raito's lips, were literally stuck in his throat. A harsh, gagging sound came from them instead, and he could feel the panic welling up inside him, stabbing a searing pain into his chest. "No, it---you can't be" Raito took a step back, the air becoming heavy around him as those red eyes focused on him began to glow even brighter, turning a shade entirely too similar to spilt blood. "Not possible!" Grabbing a handful of his hair, Raito tried to push the feelings back, to gain control. But, he could feel himself breaking under the searing gaze, and that smile….
The boy, his reflection, sneered at him, his pale pink lips parting and forming words Raito had heard every day, yet had never impacted him so.
"I am Kira."
All hell seemed to break loose. His hand shot through the mirror, the glass shattering and falling to the floor with a harsh crash and sprinkling over Raito's bare feet. He screamed, stumbling backwards, his mouth dropping in horror as his reflection stepped forward and came out of the broken mirror, a crazed smile on his beautiful face. His tall body rose straight, and hair tumbled over his shoulders, much longer and more out of control than Raito had ever seen his own. It practically fell past his shoulders, the ends curling slightly, and several locks fell over his eyes, yet none could fully shroud the red glow of his dark eyes. "Raito-kun," he waved a hand, sneering, and his clothes warped, forming snug trousers of gleaming black leather and an open silk shirt, dyed a sickening shade of blood red. In a pouch at his side was a notebook, one Raito, even frightened and trying to withstand the urge to scream, felt a dim recognition for.
"Raito…" his counterpart's tone shifted to a seductive drawl, and he reached for the teen, fingers gently curled. "Come to me, Raito." Glass crunched under his feet as he moved forward, towards the stricken Raito, who finally came to his senses and slapped the offending hand away, just as it was about to cup his cheek.
"Get away from me, you sick fuck! Get away!" Raito scrambled out of the offending hand's reach, ignoring the glass that cut his feet. He had to get away. It wasn't him, this boy. It was Kira, murderer of thousands! He wasn't safe; he had to get away, find somebody,
"Really? Who's going to save you, Raito? L? He doesn't care about you. He wants to kill you," his refle…Kira murmured, his black nails mere inches from Raito's cheek. They hovered there, un-touching, but so close Raito could see the golden tint to his skin…smell the rich spice that hovered around him… "He wants you to be Kira, so he can execute you. Did you forget?" Leaning closer, Kira brought his lips within inches of Raito's, who stared at him, wide-eyed, his body frozen and unable to move. Blood trickled from the wounds slashed into his feet, but he barely noticed them, his senses fully locked on the dangerous brunette standing before him.
Raito's lips trembled, but he managed a shaky "For---forget?"
Kira's savage smile grew, if possible, more feral. "L hates you." He smirked, chuckling when Raito jerked his face away, though the rest of him remained still, like stone.
"No! That's not true," he cried, noting a twinge of falseness in the words. Deep down, he knew L thought he was Kira. The man professed it eagerly, every day, after all. And there were only two options for the one who was Kira; death, or life in prison. Knowing L, it would be the former. He did have a twisted sense of humor, and a blunt view of how murderers should be dealt with. Those who dealt death should receive it. Kira would be no exception, that was for sure. But, he refused to believe that L hated him. L wouldn't have slept with him, if that were the case….right? "No….he doesn't---hate me," Raito shook his head, the doubt still eating at his heart. "He doesn't. I know he doesn't!"
A cold laugh suddenly sent chills down his back, and Raito gasped as cold fingers closed over his chin, jerking his face up and forcing him to look into dark red eyes. "Oh? Then why is there a look of doubt on your face," Kira asked, his soft voice drilling like a blade into Raito's chest with each cruel, heartless syllable. "I think you and I both know that L doesn't give a damn about you. You're good for a fuck, Raito, but that's it." He cocked his head and smirked, a mocking glint in his eyes. "Maybe you're not even that good, if he's so willing to let his precious toy die." The fingers on his chin stiffened, nails biting into his skin. "What do you think?"
Raito felt tears stinging his sepia eyes, but he blinked them away and curled his fists, glaring at Kira with a scowl. Who was he to judge?! "I think you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. L and mine's relationship is strictly business! And, in case you forgot, it's you he wants to kill," he spat, trying to control the waves of anger crashing through him. "You're Kira."
Red eyes gleamed, laughter clear in the ruby depths. "Too true," Kira chuckled, sarcasm heavy in his voice. "What's your point?"
A red flush of anger dusted Raito's cheeks, and he let out an angry cry, his hands tightening. "What do you mean, what's the point," Raito yelled, and hurled a fist towards the boy. "You're Kira! You kill innocent people, murdering them in cold blood, and yet you act nonchalant about it?!" His hand caught Kira neatly in the chest, but the brunette didn't flinch, or even recognize that he'd been hit. Instead, he smirked and grabbed Raito's wrist, jerking him forward. Raito growled at him and struggled, bringing up his other fist and slamming it into Kira's cheek. "You bastard! You dare question me about my relationships, when you're a fucking murderer who tries to play God?! How dare you!"
Kira's expression darkened, and he gave Raito a chilling smile, clutching his wrist in his firm grip. Raito flinched, sepia eyes widening with pain, and Kira sneered. "That's kind of hypocritical, Raito-kun, since it was you who originally declared that we were God. Or did you forget?" He laughed, the cool sound never reaching his fiery eyes. "Oh, my mistake. You gave up your memories, and me along with them. You don't remember."
Suddenly, his lips curled into a feral smile, and he laid his free hand on Raito's chest, digging his nails into the soft fabric of his shirt. "Well then, perhaps I should remind you, Yagami Raito, of a few points."
The expression in his eyes subtly shifted, the murderous, mocking glint turning into a heated stare that made heat pool in Raito's groin. "……you're sick," he snapped, glaring at the brunette hovering over him. The look in Kira's eyes was lust, pure and clearly revealed in the dark red depths. He'd seen the same look in many different girls' eyes, every time they looked at him, and in L's too, though it was far less heated. "I wouldn't let you touch me with a ten foot pole."
"Really?" Kira smiled, and drew a curious look onto his face, his demonic eyes glimmering as he stared at Raito. "Whoever said you'd have a choice? As God, it's well within my rights to fuck whoever I choose. And, as we are, in a sense, one and the same, I really don't see why you're protesting so much. It may be a tad narcissistic, at best, but not sick."
Raito snarled, a flash of anger jolting through him. "You…are not...me," he grit out, gnashing his teeth. "You may look like me, but you sure as hell aren't me! I could never be Kira!"
"Raito-kun is losing his temper again," palming his chin, Kira smiled at him, his dark eyes narrowing seductively. "It would appear that your ability to remain calm and aloof vanished when I did."
"Shut up! I'm not you!"
Kira smiled again, but there was a cold hint to the expression this time. "I can't believe how utterly ignorant you are, Raito-kun," he suddenly snapped, leaning forward. Raito glared at him, trying to back away, but the hand tangled in his shirt prevented it. "You honestly think you're not Kira? Even after all those times you thought about how certain people would be better off dead, or how you have brief flashes of red eyes and cold laughter in dreams?" Kira sneered, tossing his head. "You're a fool. You may not be Kira now, but you were, Yagami Raito. Face it. It was those hands that delivered righteous justice onto the heads of thousands of criminals, and those foolish enough to stand in our way."
"No…" Raito shook his head, flinching when red eyes fully ignited and pierced his own, his hands trembling slightly. "I'm not. I could never kill somebody! Besides, I'd remember killing all those people..."
………..wouldn't he?
At the moment, Raito really wasn't sure. True, L had created the hypothesis that whoever had been Kira had likely lost his memories when Kira's powers transferred to another…..and there were brief times at night when he had strange nightmares of himself writing in a thin black book, much like the one Kira carried…..
'And we look alike,' Raito frowned, well aware of the horror beginning to eat at him. But no. It couldn't be. They looked similar, but that could be Kira just trying to mess with him, for all he knew! The version in the mirror had been vastly more attractive than himself, after all, and, sore though he was to admit it, Kira was still much more beautiful than himself. Plus, he didn't remember being Kira. You couldn't just forget killing thousands of people! It was impossible. "No. I'm not Kira," he muttered, and glared at his counterpart with a renewed fury. "Say what you want, you freak, but I'm not Kira. I'm not you!"
Silence passed between them, during which the two openly glared at each other, though Kira's expression grew gradually cool, his lips eventually curving into a tight smile. "Well, I always did think that my old self was naïve," he sighed, crossing his arms. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. We refused to even believe in the Death Note's powers without a demonstration first, so I suppose your avid argument shouldn't come as that much of a shock. Oh well." He smirked at Raito, who looked slightly confused, as much as he tried to hide it. "When the time comes, you'll remember on your own. However, I am a rather impatient man, and don't enjoy waiting for certain things."
"Certain things….?"
Kira nodded, his lusty gaze darkening and making Raito shiver. "You already figured out what I want from you, dear Raito-kun." Lifting his hand, he touched Raito's cheek, brushing his fingertips over the smooth flesh. Raito moaned softly, his body reacting to the gentle touch. Smirking, Kira let his fingers trail farther down, making Raito's pulse race when they ran across his throat. "The only question remaining, Raito-kun, is will you continue to foolishly fight me, or submit?" He whispered seductively, running his tongue over his lips.
Raito groaned, feeling his skin crawl as Kira's sweet breath washed over his face. It shouldn't have, but Kira's touch…no, everything about him. It sparked a dull feeling within him, one similar to the soft urges L created, but….darker. More primitive. It was as if Kira's touch awakened the darkness within himself, igniting the flickering shadows and turning them into a raging inferno that was threatening to consume him entirely, body, mind, and soul.
"Well? I'm waiting, Raito-kun," the purr was growled next to his ear, and Raito inhaled sharply, moaning as fingertips grazed the flesh bared by his shirt collar, Kira's wicked smile widening to frightening proportions. Yes, it was exactly that. Kira was threatening him with the one power he did possess over him: seduction. He was a teenager, easily swayed by his hormones, and Kira was obviously playing on his youthful body's reactions to such……Raito mentally smacked himself, even as a flare of heat shot through his groin. He had to fight the foreign, yet too familiar urges, and, gritting his teeth, stared at the arousing brunette in front of him with a sneer.
"Get your hand off me," he snarled, narrowing his eyes at Kira's amused expression. "Now."
The other boy didn't seem the least bit surprised. Or, for that matter, intimidated. "Oh, scary," Kira purred, and Raito nearly screamed as Kira craned his neck down and something wet, and warm, went sliding down his throat, following the curve of his shoulder.
"You--you sick fuck!" Raito jerked away from the intimate touch, but Kira wrapped an arm around his waist, drawing him to his chest. "Get away from me!" He struggled, but was pulled taut against a hot chest, one he knew was equally as strong as his own, but far more determined. And then soft fingertips grazed his jaw, following the curve of his lips, and Raito cried out, "wha--what're you doing?!"
"Raito-kun, you've been hanging around that pathetic investigation team entirely too much, I believe. I thought it would be fairly obvious what I am doing." Kira's mouth curled into a smile, and he bent down, his lips hovering over the curve of Raito's clothed shoulder. Sharp, fang-like canines grazed the sensitive spot, and Raito groaned, a mixture of pleasure and disgust coloring his voice. "And it looks as if you don't mind as much as you let on," Kira added, gently beginning to tug at Raito's shirt. Raito let out a cry, frantically twisting in Kira's arms and grunting in pain when the arm around his waist vanished, making him fall. He stumbled and slammed into something hard, and cold, knocking the wind out of him, and Raito gasped as his hands slipped on a smooth surface.
"Wha--?" Raito frantically pushed himself up, his eyes widening. He was leaned up against a table! A polished black table, made of some shiny stone he suspected was ebony, or marble, that was draped with two leather straps with connected manacles of leather, lined with a soft, fleecy looking material. "What the hell?!" He pushed away from the table, tripping over the scarlet sheet that was hanging off the corner of the table and falling against a hard, familiar frame.
"Raito-kun really should stop fighting me." A soft growl echoed beside his ear, and Raito jumped as a hot tongue gently brushed alongst the outer rim, Kira's hand resting on his hip and digging sharp nails into his skin. He choked back a moan, tightly gripping the table edge until his fingers bleached white. Pleasure coursed through him as the tongue slid down to caress his throat, a soft hand curling in his short hair and tilting his head to the side.
"Stop," Raito moaned, attempting to jerk away from the invading touch. Kira merely chuckled, holding Raito's hip even tighter.
"Have you forgotten, Raito-kun? I'm Kira. I don't take orders, and I certainly won't stop, when I really have no reason to. You belong to me, and if I want to fuck you, then I will," he nipped Raito's neck, sucking lightly at the warm blood that spilled down the tan flesh in response. "You gave yourself to me the day you picked up the notebook. I'll never let you go, Raito."
"Notebook? Wha--what're you talking about? I don't---ahh!" Raito screeched as slender hands grabbed his hips and literally lifted him up and onto the table, the icy cold of the marble stinging his clothed skin. "Le--let go of me," he cried, kicking out at Kira. Laughing, the boy caught his foot and made a grab for his other one, making Raito's face dramatically pale with horror when his other hand closed around his left leg.
"Let go? Why would I want to do that? I rather like you like this," Kira purred, climbing onto the table. Raito's stared, horrified, as the brunette straddled his waist, pinning him to the cold marble slab. "Mmm…" leaning over him, his lips curled, Kira grabbed one of Raito's arms and pushed it above his head, sliding his wrist into the leather manacle. "Poor little Raito, all trapped with the big bad wolf." He teased, licking his cheek. "Whatever shall he do?"
Raito cried out, squirming beneath the wild haired brunette. "Let go of me! You can't do this!" He tried to jerk his arm away, but Kira strapped the leather clasp around his wrist, pinning his arm above his head. "No!" Tears stung in his eyes, but Raito forced them back; he refused to let this monster see him cry! "You bastard," he snarled. "You have to resort to rape to get sex? You're sicker than I thought!"
Kira, who had Raito's other arm in his grasp, glanced at him and smiled, the expression frighteningly making his red eyes glow. "I'm the sick one? Who's the boy playing servant to an immature detective hell bent on killing him? If anyone's the sick one here, Raito, it's you." The leather manacle closed around Raito's wrist, and Kira painfully tightened it, to the point where Raito winced. "Then again, you enjoy it, don't you? Being L's little whipping boy? Is that why you let him fuck you, anytime, anywhere, and moan when he hurts you, and causes you pain?" When Raito stared at him, the shock clear on his face, Kira chuckled. "I know everything about you, Raito. I'm a part of you, remember? I know every one of your dirty little secrets, and have felt everything that you have, good and bad." Bending down, Kira nuzzled the crook of Raito's neck, whispering his name and smirking when Raito shivered. "Do the lack of honorifics make you nervous, Raito," he asked, seeing the teen's flushed cheeks. "Maybe because L's the only one to ever call you that…?"
"You--" Raito gasped, choking a moan. How did Kira know all this?! It couldn't be true, what the boy had said about him about being a part of him! It just couldn't be! Kira had to be spying on him, or something, because there was no way he and that monster cold have anything in common! Kira fucking twisted everything to suit his purposes, no matter who it would hurt, and apparently enjoyed making Raito's head spin with all of the corrupt thoughts-and doubts-he created. But that's all it was…just pointless doubts. He knew L cared about him, as he did, and of course he didn't like it when L got a little too rough with him. That was absolutely absurd! "You're a fucking bastard!"
SLAP
Raito's head reeled to the side, a red stain on his cheek. "You really should learn to control that temper of yours, Raito." Kira lowered his hand, the palm tinged a pale pink. A smirk on his lips, he tenderly cupped Raito's hurt cheek, laughing when he jerked away from the touch. "Oh, like you didn't enjoy that." Moving his hand nonetheless, Kira's eyes gleamed mischievously. "I thought you liked it rough, Raito? Or were your cries of pleasure as L pounded into you last night just there for show?" He grinned, cocking his head as he playfully ran a finger over Raito's lips. "I admit, Raito, I can see why L never let you top. You look much better this way."
Raito glared at him, sinking his teeth into the warm skin when Kira began to trace his mouth. "Oh, that wasn't very nice." Kira pulled his hand back, eying the bite marks etched into his finger. "You know, you're childish acts won't do you any good, Raito. No matter what you do, you're my prisoner. Nobody's coming to save you, and I'll let you in on another little secret…" Kira bent down, and Raito let out a shrill cry as a warm tongue fluttered over his lips, Kira's claw-like nails digging into his arms threateningly. "Nothing gets me hotter than having an excuse to punish you, Raito."
The tongue thrusted into his mouth, parting his lips as he cried out against the rough intrusion. His body was pinned to the table, his hands effectively immobile, and Kira's weight was fully bearing down on him, keeping him motionless. The most he could do was squirm a bit, which was quickly put to a stop when Kira bit his lip, sharp fangs eagerly cutting into his tender skin. "Are you still planning on fighting me, Raito-kun? You should know it's pointless. You can't escape me. You're my prisoner until I deem otherwise." Kira licked at the blood that beaded up from the broken skin, his ruby eyes narrowing. "And that's not about to happen anytime soon."
"NO!" Raito's terrified screams were cut off by Kira's mouth. Teeth and tongue roughly invaded him, and Raito couldn't help a little moan as warm hands drifted under his shirt, splaying across his torso. 'No! This can't be happening,' Raito's mind screamed at him, a chilling sensation encompassing his body and freezing it on the table. He couldn't move, save for the trembling of his arms as Kira touched his lips to the inside of his elbow, licking softly. This was…unbelievably sick. He shouldn't be feeling this way. He should be fighting, kicking and screaming, anything to dislodge the other boy from his position on top of him. Instead, he was lying here, dormant, as Kira caressed him and kissed his flesh. KIRA; notorious serial killer and man known for his supposed "justice"!
"Mmm…" he moaned fearfully, wincing as teeth sank into his tongue.
"Is Raito enjoying himself?" Kira lifted his head, blood staining his lower lip and trickling down his chin. Smiling ferally, he kissed the corner of Raito's mouth, his smile widening at the tiny gasp Raito let out. "It sure sounds like it. I, for one, am feeling very aroused at the moment." Sliding down Raito's body, Kira kneeled on the table, straddling Raito's legs, and reached for the un-tucked hem of his shirt.
"N-no--" squirming, Raito tried to move, to do anything, but tan fingers undid the buttons of his dress shirt, one by one, until the white cloth parted. Kira ran his hands up the length of Raito's torso, devouring the tan flesh beneath his, and, flashing Raito a smirk, licked the center of his chest. "Ughh…" Raito grimaced, loathing the heat that shot up his body from the kiss. He had to fight! This was rape, what Kira was doing….even if his body, betrayer that it was, enjoyed it. "S-stop it," he hissed, biting his lip as a shudder chased up his spine. "Stop this now, Kira, be--before you do something you regret."
"Regret?" Dipping his tongue into Raito's bellybutton, Kira chuckled. "I don't foresee my doing anything that I would regret, Raito, unless you're not as good of a lay that I think you will be." He crawled higher up on the table, kissing and licking Raito's skin and drawing a cry from the wide eyed male. "And I think you will be very good, so that's not much of a problem, now is it?"
Raito was too shocked to say anything, and Kira took full advantage. Grabbing the brunette's hips, he grinded their pelvises together, eliciting a breathy moan from Raito. "How does it feel, Raito?" Kira moved his hips again, raking his fingers through the sweaty strands of Raito's hair.
Groaning, the teen forced his eyes open, blinking away the tears that were glazing the sepia orbs. Kira was sneering, his tan face a scarce few inches from Raito's. "You want to know---how it feels?" Straining his arms, Raito leaned up and managed a weak smirk. "It feels disgusting," he hissed, and spat in Kira's face.
Red eyes narrowed in fury, and Kira slowly brought his hand up, touching the wet spot marring his cheek. Spittle trickled down his skin, leaving a wet trail, and Kira snarled, glaring at the brunette. "Oh, how very clever of you." He wiped the spittle away, a cruel smile forming on his lips. "I wasn't aware that we were still in preschool, Raito. L's immaturity must be wearing off on you."
"I'd--rather be immature--than a se--serial killer," Raito let out a gasp, squirming in pain as nails dug into scalp. "L's twice the man you are!"
"Oh? You so sure about that?" Kira's lips curled into a dark smile, and he gripped Raito's hair, making him scream. "You really shouldn't talk about things you know nothing about, Raito. L can never compare to me, a god. That foolish detective is living his last days as we speak anyways." Bending over the brunette, Kira ran his tongue down Raito's cheek, licking away the salty tears that had begun to trickle down his face. "I wonder how he'll look, in his dying moment? Do you think he'll cry, Raito?"
The warm tongue fluttered over his lips, and, holding back a cry, Raito bit down, cutting into the soft flesh with his teeth. "L won't die," he reeled his head back and glared at him, grimacing at the metallic flavor that flooded his mouth. "I won't let you kill him! I'd die before that happened!"
"Really?" Kira wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, staring at the red stains that came away with a weird look on his face. Glancing at Raito, he smirked and released a breathy laugh, one that sent a shudder down Raito's spine. It was eerily familiar, that dry laugh…Raito was sure he'd heard it before, but couldn't place it…he shook his head, his arms quaking in their bindings. "Raito would be willing to die, in order to protect his precious L?"
His sepia eyes narrowed, a dark glint shrouding the bright orbs. "Yes."
Kira cocked his head, a crazed smile on his lips. "You say that now, Raito, but just wait. You have no idea of the things to come. More importantly, as you've forgotten your true self, everything you're saying to me is completely pointless. The real you thinks in a much…different manner." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Unfortunately, I have to suffer with this naïve version. Oh well. It's for the best, I suppose." Ruby eyes glinted, deepening to a red so dark it was nearly black. "Well Raito, I have to admit, you did a wonderful job of distracting me, but I've had enough of these childish antics. I want you, now."
Raito felt bile rise in his throat, cutting off his screams of horror. Sitting up, his legs pinning Raito's torso to the table, Kira ripped off his shirt, golden skin glimmering in the misty light of the room. Fumbling with the belt looped through his pants, Kira grinned at him and threw it aside, a wandering hand brushing across Raito's chest. "Mmm, Raito's looking at me rather hard," he licked his lips, strands of mahogany hair falling over his eyes. "It must be strange, seeing your own body from this point of view. But maybe you'll understand now, Raito, just how sexy you are. How we are."
"You make me sick," Raito spat, twisting away as Kira attempted to touch his face.
"Always stubborn." Unfazed, Kira removed the chain pouch attached to his pants, dropping it to the floor. The chains rattled, making Raito shiver, but his attention was once again drawn to the thin notebook that Kira held up. It was relatively plain; thin, with white pages, and black. But, there was a foreboding air around it, one that made Raito's heart lurch as Kira dangled the notebook over his chest, the edge nearly touching his bare skin. He could feel his flesh tingling, as if it craved to be touched by the book, but that couldn't be. "Raito seems rather attracted to my notebook," Kira murmured, pulling it away. Raito watched as it dropped out of sight, his body unclenching, like a heavy force was being lifted. "Perhaps you feel its power…?"
Raito glared at him, ignoring the other boy. Even though it was true; he did feel a strange power radiating off the notebook, but he refused to admit that, especially to the smirking brunette hovering above him. "Now now, don't act like that, Raito. Come on, let's see a reaction, shall we?" Kira grinned at him, his eyes narrowing seductively. "Mmm…." nuzzling Raito's neck, Kira breathed a hot stream of air on his skin, and the teen shuddered.
"Ahh…sto--stop," Raito gasped, his eyes widening as Kira reached between his legs, rubbing the bulge forming in the front of his pants. "Stop!"
"Oh, Raito is excited. How surprising. I thought you weren't enjoying yourself." Kira pressed harder, his long fingers gently massaging him. "You sure feel like you're enjoying yourself though. Shall we see just how much?"
"No…no!" Raito struggled as the zipper of his pants was tugged down, Kira's fingers slipping inside and caressing the waistband of his boxers. "Stop! STOP!" He bit his lip, groaning as Kira's hand fully encompassed his aching member through the cotton. "Kira, please," he groaned, tears rolling down his face. "This is wrong!"
"I beg to differ." Sliding his hand up and down, Kira smirked, a hungry purr falling from his lips. "Raito…" he gripped the member, squeezing gently. "If you behave, I'll give you release. If not," Kira licked his lips, chuckling as topaz hinted eyes followed the gesture. "I suppose you'll get to suffer."
Cotton chafed his skin as it rubbed up and down his cock, and Raito moaned, his body involuntarily quaking on the table. "Ne--never," he gasped. "You're crazy if--if you think I'd ever submit--ah, to--to you!"
For a moment, it looked as if Kira was going to pout. But then his expression darkened, and an underlying rage began to shade his eyes a brilliant red. "But Raito, you already submitted to me. You just don't remember. You gave yourself to me, body, mind, and soul." He hissed the last by Raito's ear, his tongue fluttering out to lick the curve. The hand wrapped around his cock painfully closed, and Raito gasped, his hands jerking above his head. "You belong to me, Yagami Raito. Your flesh is my flesh, your mind is my mind. We share the same body, the same heart," he roughly began to pump Raito, a deadly smile forming on the brunette's face. "I can control you, do as I please, and there's nothing you could ever do to stop me. You may think I'm gone, that you're hunting me with that fucking detective that so sooo adore, but the real me is waiting, Raito."
"Wha…? Waiting? For--for what?"
As those final words left his lips, Raito saw the true evil being unleashed in Kira's eyes, in his smile, and he knew.
This monster…this killer…..
"For you, Yagami Raito. For you."
Raito closed his eyes, tears burning and slipping down his cheeks. Lips caressed his cheek, his chin, even his forehead, each touch burning his skin with its cruel softness. It was like a fairy tale, except this time, the prince wouldn't escape the dragon alive. At least, not without losing something first. "Kira," he tried not to whimper, to not sound broken, pathetic, but his voice quavered with every shaky breath he took, and he heard the sobs threatening to break free from his trembling lips. So did Kira.
"Aww, what's the matter, Raito? Does it hurt?" Kira clenched his cock in his hand, and Raito had to clamp his mouth closed to avoid screaming. "Raito, I want an answer." A hand came down, smacking him fully across the face, the fingers scratching his skin and making it burn. "Does it hurt?" Again it came down, when he refused to answer, and Raito screamed, his horror strangling the cry. "Excellent. We're making progress." Kira cupped his wounded face in his hand, nails brushing the outline of his lips. "See, that wasn't so hard."
Trembling, Raito shook his head, feeling the blood trickle down his cheek from where Kira's nails had clawed his face. His whole jaw hurt from where he'd been backhanded, and a cruel ache was traveling down his arms, the leather straps holding them hostage above his head. So why, after all this indignity and suffering, was he still aroused?!
"You know, you really should learn to behave, Raito. After all, as god, I do have the right to punish my subordinates. And you, dear little Raito, are definitely one who deserves my judgment." Kira pumped his cock, his silky palm gliding up and down with a horrifyingly pleasurable ease. "Now, how should I punish my dear pet, hmm?" Kira continued to pump him, even as he appeared to think, his devilish eyes narrowing in thought. After a few moments, he smirked, and Raito stared, horrified, as the teen reached for the front of his leather pants, undoing the button and pulling down the zipper.
"Oh god, no…please," Raito pleaded. His nails scratched the table as he tried to move, but it was futile. He was a prisoner. Kira's prisoner.
"Oh? Do you believe in god, Raito?" Kira reached up, undoing the leather binds holding Raito captive. He knew it was pointless, for the teen still sat atop him, but Raito tried to get away as his hands fell free, only to have a hand close around his throat. "Well?" Kira went on, pinning him down, as if nothing had happened. "I'm waiting."
Raito winced, his air slowly depleting, but managed a shaky reply. "….yes?"
The hungry smile shot his way told him that that was the wrong answer. At least, for him it was. "Well then." Grabbing a handful of his hair, his other still down the front of Raito's pants and gripping his cock, Kira jerked him to his knees. "Bow down and serve your master."
Struggling, Raito could only watch in horror as Kira pushed the waistband of his pants down and revealed his cock. It was equally as large as his own, and dripping with moisture, which silkily ran down the skin Raito knew was soft as velvet. "Please, don't--" Raito was choked as the head was pushed into his mouth, practically smothering him. He squirmed, tossing his head, but that only made Kira laugh and push himself deeper. "Mmph!"
"What a good little Raito, pleasuring me so well." Kneeling on the table, Kira pulled Raito forward by the hair, thrusting his cock in and out of his mouth. Saliva built up in his mouth, slickening the member that abused his mouth, and bile rose in his throat as salty fluid dribbled onto his tongue. "Haa--" Kira's fingers slid out of the front of Raito's pants, instead curling around the brunette's shoulder and holding him still as he raped his mouth. "Mmm…" his red eyes closed in pleasure, and Raito nearly gagged as the thrusts grew faster, rougher. He knew better than to bite down, or do anything similar, but he refused to be raped! So, as Kira jerked his hips back, preparing to thrust into him again, Raito slammed a hand against his chest, startling him as he was pushed backwards. His legs shook as he rolled off the table, and he hit the floor with a cry, his elbows slamming into the icy cold floor.
'Got to move, got to move….!' Scrambling to his feet, Raito nearly fell again as the cold marble floor seemed to move beneath him, but he managed to push himself forward. The room was spinning, and Raito bit his lip, holding back an urge to vomit. 'Gotta get away!' The words repeated in his head, and he blurrily stumbled forward, reaching for a wall to steady himself. 'Gotta…'
"Raito, just where do you think you're going?" Strong fingers threaded through his hair, and Raito screamed as his head was tilted backwards, forcing him to stare into angry red eyes. "We have a feisty one on our hands, it would seem."
His spine felt like it was going to snap as he was slammed into the table, the edge digging into his back as he was bent over the cold surface, exposing the whole of his taut chest. And, from this angle, he could see Kira; red in the face, his hair tangled, and completely naked. "Foolish Raito, did you really think you could get away from me so easily? Pathetic."
The hand gripping his head was iron hard, and Raito yelped in pain, grabbing Kira's wrist. "Bastard…" Raito hissed, and pain tore down his chest as he was flipped around, the table painfully stabbing his stomach.
"Yes, I am. How kind of you to notice." Hands tore at his shirt and trousers, ripping them away from his body. His boxers were tugged down, and pain radiated throughout his body, idle scratches being etched into his skin with each jerk of Kira's hands. "Raito…." Kira pressed against him, and Raito's eyes widened at the feeling of something touching the virgin entrance between his cheeks.
"No!" His palms sliding on the marble, Raito screamed. "Damn it, Kira, I--" a hand clasped over his mouth, and he bit at the fingers, only to receive a brutal tug on his hair. His screams echoed in the room, sounding distorted, though whether it was by fear or the room itself he couldn't tell. "Nghh!"
"What a beautiful body…." Kira ran a hand down Raito's back, his fingers sweeping across the ridges of his spine. "I suppose I am narcissistic, to enjoy seeing my own body in such a delicious position…"
Raito whirled his head around, glaring at the brunette with a renewed fury. "Fuck you! I'm not--aughh!!!" Screams flooded his ears, each one more horrid and racked with agony than the last. And then he realized, throughout the spears of blistering torment being driven into his body; the screams were his. His cheeks blazed, a fiery surge of pain igniting at the base of his spine and traveling down his back and legs. "Ba--bastard," he hissed, shivering as slender hands gripped his hips, hair tickling the back of his shoulders. "You--ahh--you're sick--"
"I'm well aware of what you think of me, Raito." Kira's bare chest touched his back, the rock hard muscles overlaid by silk unnervingly prominent. "Raito, is your vocabulary so lacking that those are the best insults you can come up with?" Running his tongue down the brunette's collarbone, Kira smirked and rocked his hips.
"Ahhh…!" Raito cried out, a dark flush beginning to color his cheeks. His backside felt as if it were being torn apart, and the smell of blood thickened the air, the warm fluid oozing down the backs of his thighs.
"Painful, Raito?" Another harsh rock sent the teen collapsing onto the table, his arms trembling and nails scratching the cold marble. Chuckling, Kira grasped the back of his head and jerked it to the side, his hips beginning a languid rhythm; in, out. Forward, back. And each one made Raito cry, his agonized voice bringing forth a loud laugh from the red-eyed teen forcibly taking him. "Keep screaming. It only makes me want you more," Kira murmured, his silky baritone taking on a malicious edge.
Raito couldn't help it, even with that threat looming over his head; he screamed again, and again, his caramel eyes studded with glittering tears that soaked his cheeks, plastering hair to his face. "Stop! Please, stop!" His lips curled into a pained grimace, one that widened into a scowl as tan fingers parted his bangs, the pads delicately brushing his forehead.
"Stop? Why would I want to do that?" Kira smiled, his fingertips trailing down Raito's face. Jerking away, ignoring the pain that shot up his spine as a result, he weakly pushed himself up so that his back was firmly against Kira's chest.
"I hate you," he growled. "You twisted psychopath."
All at once, Kira stopped, his hands coming to a rest on Raito's hips while a wide smile formed on his face. Tilting his head, he stared, as if curious, at Raito, who tried not to flinch under the piercingly vivid gaze. "To your credit, that was at least original." He finally responded, giving a chuckle. "It's a shame, really. That tongue could be put too much better use." Sighing, Kira gently cupped Raito's face, his eyes narrowing. "But, since that idea apparently repulses you, I suppose fucking you senseless will have to do." Nails sank into flesh, cutting red crescents, and Kira thrusted their mouths together, assaulting the other boy's lips as he shoved himself hilt deep into Raito's bloody, tight sheath.
"Auughh!" Raito released a blood curdling howl, his whole body stiffening with pain. The first thrusts had been nothing, nothing, compared to the agony that now encompassed his entire body. Kira could have stabbed him with a burning hot knife, and the pain wouldn't have compared. "Ahh…" he huffed, trying to catch his breath. The pain only grew worse. "So--someone, please--" Raito squeezed his eyes shut, and the darkness seemed to swell over his mind, nearly taking him under. "Help…"
"No one's coming to help, Raito." Kira bit his shoulder, adding to the blistering agony that ignited his every muscle, hair, and pore. "You're all mine, to do with as I please."
"No…" Raito let out a disgusted moan, a swarm of emotions dampening his chest. How could this have happened? What had he done to deserve this…this torture?! He was being raped by Kira, for Kami's sake! Kira, the red eyed devil who twisted and connived, hiding behind his mask of supposed justice! Kira, notorious serial killer, who was abusing his body, and taunting him with his cutting words that seemed to spill from his lips like honey, all the while smiling at him from behind a face better befitting a fallen angel. It was sick. Raito shivered, biting his lip, but a cry pierced them as Kira resumed the searing tempo of his hips, the thrusts pounding his cock in and out and making blood stream down his legs. "Ahhh!"
Kira sneered, shoving his hips forward. "Where's your precious L now, Raito? Where's your knight in shining armor, who you claim loves you sooo much?" He leaned over the teen, running a soft hand through his sweat slickened hair. Raito squirmed, straining his head and glaring wearily as Kira gripped the strands, holding him still. "He hates you. L wants you to be Kira, so he can sentence you to death." Moving closer, his hips still keeping up their frenzied thrusting, Kira licked Raito's cheek, blowing a warm stream of air over his lips when he laughed. "Come to think of it, why would he help you? If anything, he should be pleased, with you being so broken."
"Fu—fuck—you," Raito spat, and the brunette chuckled.
"I already am, Raito! Couldn't you tell?" Smirking, he ran a hand down Raito's thigh, his palm coming away dark red. Bringing it to his lips, he lapped at the warm blood, grinning at the horrified boy watching him. "You know what, Raito?" Kira grabbed him by the waist, his nails ripping into tan flesh. Raito hissed in pain, but his voice cut off as Kira suddenly stopped thrusting, his member, still rock hard, painfully throbbing inside him. "I look forward to the day when L takes his final breath…" he sneered, wrapping an arm around Raito's waist and drawing him close. "Though, I'm not sure how long it will take. I'm tied between wanting it over quickly, and for it to be slow, painful, so I can watch him suffer before he dies." Tightening the hand tangled in dusky strands, Kira jerked Raito's head back, forcing it to lie on his shoulder and giving himself a clear view of angry sepia eyes. "What's the matter, Raito?" He nuzzled his cheek, chuckling when hot tears soaked the tips of his bangs. "I thought that's what you wanted. With L dead, our new world can be created."
Raito managed a snarl, and Kira jerked his hand, forcing his head to the side and tilting it so that they could clearly see one another. "Ryuuzaki—won't die," Raito grabbed at the table edge, but Kira took a step back, dragging him along. Thrashing in the boy's grip, he felt a searing pain hit his spine, but grit his teeth and blocked it out. "I won't let you kill him!"
"Oh?" Kira ran a hand down Raito's naked chest, grazing his thigh before moving to brush over his cock. When he froze, Kira shoved Raito forward, and he stumbled to the floor in front of the broken mirror. Glass pierced his flesh, drawing even more blood, and Raito screamed. "You won't let me kill him, Raito?" Looking imperial, even naked and smeared with blood, Kira stalked over to him. Pressing his naked foot to Raito's chest when the teen tried to rise, Kira sneered, his expression darkening. "Do you honestly believe that you have a choice?" His red eyes seemed to glow beneath his bangs, illuminating his face with their bloody glow. "Raito, you're blind if you don't realize."
"Re—realize what--?" The brunette coughed, blood splattering his lips.
Kneeling down beside him, Kira ran a finger across Raito's lower lip. "I'm not going to kill L, Raito." Leaning over, he kissed his cheek, a horrifyingly cruel smile on his face. "We are one and the same, you and I. Cuts from the same cloth. In a way, you could call me your evil half, though I'm a bit more than that."
"Wha…?" His hands slid on the glass as Raito scooted back, and he could feel the warm liquid trailing down his palms and fingers. "You're not…no, that's not," he shook his head, his shoulders slumping. Kira smiled at him, still kneeling on the floor, but his hand suddenly shot out, wrapping around Raito's throat. Gagging, Raito gasped for air as he was shoved against the broken mirror, pieces of the remaining glass digging into his back. "Haaa--" he grabbed at Kira's wrist, his nails scratching the boy's hand, but the fingers remained taut around his throat. "Kira--! Let—go," his vision began to blur, but he refused to go under! He couldn't lose to this, this monster!
"Such impudence," Kira murmured, seemingly unaware of his struggles. Faking a sigh, he laid a hand on Raito's arm, much like a parent would a child. "I told you once, Raito, and I hate repeating myself. But, since you continue to blindly ignore what's in front of your face, I'll say it one more time."
Raito's vision grew worse, his breath shortening as the air in his lungs depleted. Through the haze clouding his eyes, he saw Kira grasp a large piece of the broken mirror and hold it up, the reflective side pointed towards him. His caramel eyes were reflected back at him, and Raito weakly reached out, his fingertips grazing the polished surface and leaving bloody smudges. "Do you see?" Kira held the mirror closer, and Raito's heart began to pound as the face staring back at him slowly began to shift; lips formed a seductive leer, the blood vanished from his cheeks, and dark brown eyes bled garnet. He tried to close his eyes, turn his head, anything to avoid looking at the grisly image reflected in the mirror piece, but his head was frozen, his eyes glued wide. "This is you, Yagami Raito." Kira tossed the mirror aside, where it shattered on the floor, red eyes still glowing within the depths.
"No--"
"Yes." Kira brushed his lips over Raito's, smothering his cry. They trailed up his face, and soft fingers tenderly brushed his hair aside. "That boy you saw, in the mirror? He's you." He sneered at the stunned look on Raito's face, and licked the shell of his ear. "We're mirror images, you and I."
Black bled into his vision, and Raito's body grew weak, forcing him to slump weakly against the mirror. Kira's words, however, rang clear in his mind, as if to torment him. He and Kira….the reason they looked so alike, save for Kira's beautiful-yet-deadly blood shaded eyes…..why he always felt incomplete, as if something were missing. Raito let the tears pour down his cheeks, uncaring if the other boy saw. He had already raped him, tormented his body; what did a few tears matter anymore? "You…" his hand, still lifted in the air, reached out, and he touched Kira's lips, that had uttered such cruel, uncaring words. Kira watched, his face expressionless for once, and Raito let his fingers climb, until they hovered beneath a vivid ruby eye. "I'm…."
"You," Kira finished, and it was as if the pain traveling throughout Raito's body tripled, all aimed towards his heart. He screamed, his agonized cries filling his ears, and Kira's mangled laughter drove a knife through his skull. Raito thrashed, his bare legs kicking out, but they hit nothing but air.
"Ryuu—zaki" he clawed at Kira's hand, but his fingers clamped further down on his neck, cutting off his air completely. "Ryuu…." he couldn't fight the darkness attempting to claim him, and his voice trailed off, a weak slumber overcoming him. The hand on his throat fell away, coming to rest on Raito's leg, but it was too late. Raito fell to the floor, the blood oozing from his wounds and backside pooling beneath him on the cold marble, and he took a shaky last breath. Above him, Kira watched with a cool expression on his face, though his dark eyes flamed ever bright.
"Sayonara, Otouto-chan," he whispered. "I'll be seeing you soon."
Horror captured his heart, and Raito cried, the darkness sweeping over his body and eyes. Kira vanished into the black, a smirk beginning to twist the edge of his mouth, and Raito fell, his body weakly writhing in the black. Letting out a terrified scream, he reached up into the abyss. "RYUUZAKI! HELP ME!"
"……Raito?"
Out of the darkness, there came a weak murmur, but it was lost to the screaming teen. "Ryuuzaki!" He fell deeper and deeper, his arms pin-wheeling in a useless attempt to slow himself, but all he could do was scream, and scream, Kira's laughter still ringing in his ears.
"Raito!" A dull pain erupted in his jaw, as if he'd been slapped…but that was impossible. Raito heard that weak cry again, and this time it was louder….closer? "Raito-kun!"
"Ryuuzaki, I'm sorry!" The image of those terrible red eyes flashed in his mind, and Raito's lips moved in a strangled howl, which grew louder as a weight appeared on his shoulders, the familiar touch of hands very clear. "No! Get away! GET AWAY!"
"Raito-kun, you're having a nightmare. Wake up!" The pain in his jaw appeared again, and this time Raito attempted to open his eyes, only to wince as they were flooded with light, tinted a vague red. "Wake up!" A hand came out of nowhere and rested on his chest, the cool fingers slender, gentle. It was calming, this touch, and Raito slowly began to open his eyes, only to have them fly open in shock when he saw a deep grey gaze staring at him, and a pale face framed by shaggy black hair hovering above his own. "Good, Raito-kun is awake."
Raito felt his body trembling, but all he could do was touch the milky skinned detective, uncertainty heavy in his mind. "Ryuu—zaki?"
"Hai. Raito-kun was having a nightmare," L whispered, his soft voice music to Raito's ears. "He kept screaming my name, saying he was sorry. What were you sorry about, Raito-kun?"
"…..Ryuuzaki…" Raito stared at the wide eyed man, who was looking at him with his calm expression and stoic gaze in tow, though there was a faint undertone of concern softening that usually steely hard look. Panic settled in, and he whirled his head around, only to see the familiar setting of their bedroom, and the bed he and L shared; rumpled covers, pillows strewn, and sheets tangled around his legs and waist. 'It....was a nightmare?' He frowned, still trembling slightly, and looked once again at the detective, who seemed to be inspecting him. "Ryuuzaki?"
"I believe that we have established that I am Ryuuzaki, Raito-kun. My question is, just what were you dreaming about to make you scream so? You woke me from my sleep, which is a rather hard thing to do." L sat back, and there was a discomforted look in his eyes as he glanced over Raito, who gazed back at him with barely veiled shock heavy on his face. "Raito-kun?"
Raito didn't speak. It was all he could do to wrap an arm around himself, fearing he might fall apart if he didn't. His head sank, and he looked at his hands, which were clean, free of the blood and tears that had formerly stained them. His chest and legs were equally as clean, from what he could see, and he slowly reached a hand up and brushed it over his throat. No wounds. "It….was a dream," he whispered, closing his eyes. His…no, Kira's handsome face immediately came to mind, and he shuddered. "A dream. It was all a dream."
L frowned, but didn't say anything. He simply watched, his dark eyes blank, and Raito continued to touch himself, even going so far as to rub his lower back, fearing the sensation of blood that should have slickened his fingers. There was nothing. No pain, no blood. Only the memory of cold, dark eyes, and a velvety soft voice that was as beautiful as it was haunting, and deadly. "Sayonara, Otouto-chan……" Raito heard the words echoing in his head, like a far off memory, and whimpered. 'He called me little brother, like I was his fucking family! Bastard! Like I could ever be related to a monster like that!'
Like he could ever be him….
"Is….Raito-kun alright?"
Glancing up, he saw L leaning forward, their faces nearly touching. Grey eyes stared into his own, and a spidery hand came up to finger Raito's collarbone, nearly touching one of the spots where Kira's teeth had slashed into his skin. It made him want to puke, imagining that….thing touching him. And yet….Raito grabbed the hand, forcing it to stop its descent down his arm. Holding it up, he eyed the pale fingers and slender palm, so different from his own. So different from Kira's. He dropped the hand in disgust, turning away. "I'm fine, Ryuuzaki. Don't worry about me," he muttered. "Like you said, it was just a bad dream."
Looking ready to argue, L finally sat back on his haunches, laying against the headboard and glancing suspiciously at Raito out of the corner of his eyes. Raito paid him no head, and settled down onto the bed, closing his eyes and trying not to show the utter terror clinging to his heart, making him want to scream his lungs out. His throat was raw enough as it was. "Ryuuzaki…..did I, well--" he paused, taking a shaky breath. "Did I say anything about…being Kira?"
"Mmm….Raito-kun did mention Kira's name," L murmured, his passive voice unusually quiet. "He was shouting for Kira to leave him alone, and that he wasn't him."
Raito bit his tongue, the image of himself immediately coming to mind at hearing the killer's name. As if it had been real, he could still imagine the feel of Kira's hands running all over his body, and the feel of his lips on his. "I—Kira---he was trying to get me to join him," he lied. "He wanted me to continue his work, to kill criminals." Raito attempted to smile, to assure the detective, but with every one came a shudder and a shower of goose bumps that crept down his spine, to the spot that Kira had so violated.
"….perhaps Raito-kun's memories are coming back." His dark eyes hardened, and L cocked his head, peering at Raito from beneath a shock of ebony bangs. "Maybe Raito-kun's inner conscience knows that he's Kira, and"
Rage clouded his eyes, icy fear stabbing his chest at the sound of the familiar words. "NO! I'm not Kira!" Raito shouted, thrusting a hand out. It made contact with L's cheek with a loud smack, and the two sat in silence for a moment, before L wrapped a hand around his wrist, jerking his hand away. A red stain began to blossom on his flesh, and Raito blushed, dropping the hand back into his lap. "……sorry," he murmured. "I didn't mean to"
"I know, Raito-kun. It was a reaction caused by your dreams, nothing more." L touched the spot gingerly, shooting Raito a weird look. A spike of fear shot through him, and Raito jumped, his hands reflexively tightening and arms wrapping around himself. Of course….L was right. It wasn't like he hated L, or wanted him dead. That's what Kira might want, but he wasn't Kira. "….Raito-kun, out of curiosity….what did Kira look like?"
Raito paled, seeing the dark curiosity in his friend's eyes. Smiling warily, he ran a hand through his hair, hair that Kira had caressed with such a gentle touch. "He looked…..normal. He was handsome, I guess, but normal." The lie came easy, but the images did not. Raito had to choke back a cry, the red eyes burned into his very skull and cold laughter pouring into his mind. "He had….red eyes. That's really about all I remember. His dark red eyes." Red eyes that would forever haunt him, until they caught the real Kira and Raito could see that the criminal looked nothing like him, and that those vivid eyes were a figment of his imagination, nothing more.
"Really? How interesting." L pulled a sucker seemingly out of nowhere, ripping off the cellophane and sticking it into his mouth. He crunched down on the sweet, sucking thoughtfully as he stared at the brunette. Raito winced, laying his head down on a pillow and closing his eyes. The minute he did, Kira's face came to mind, and he whimpered, rolling onto his side so that L wouldn't see the tears beginning to trickle down his face. "Raito-kun, are you sure you're going to be ok?" A soft touch fell on his shoulder, and Raito, forcing a smile onto his face, nodded at the detective.
"I'll be fine, Ryuuzaki. Don't worry about me, ok?"
He nodded, taking his hand away. Raito settled into the bed, curling his hand into the sheet.
"Sayonara, Otouto-chan…."
Kira. Raito mentally cursed the name, covering his face with his arm. It didn't stop the words from revolving in his head, the velvety tones washing throughout him like tepid water, but creating a burn that was deadly intense. "Raito…." Kira's voice whispered his name, the sound faded, soft, but it gave him the same reaction as it had in real life; a strange rush of adrenaline, and a sickening sense of disgust. Groaning, he gnashed his teeth and held down a moan as parts of his body tingled….areas that had endured Kira's gentle, yet possessive touch. And then there was that black notebook, that seemed too utterly….familiar. He could've sworn he had seen it before, maybe even touched it, and Raito clearly remembered feeling the power wafting around that innocent looking book that Kira had carried, and claimed he should remember, in that gentle purr of his. "Don't you remember, Raito…?"
'No, because there's nothing to remember,' he hissed, and the voice in his head laughed. Dammit all, this was his entire fault! Kira had twisted his thoughts, made Raito falsely doubt himself, and L, and everything he believed in, and now wouldn't get out of his head. It was Kira's fault that he couldn't think of that damn name now without seeing his own face, only with flaming eyes and a cold smirk on his lips. Kira, who was unearthly beautiful, and used his looks to beguile and persuade, while wielding a cruel streak and heartlessness that spelled the deaths of thousands. 'No! I'm not Kira! Just because I had a nightmare in which he looked like me doesn't make me Kira!' Raito tried to assure himself, shoving away any negative thoughts and groaning when they refused to stay away. 'It was just a dream, Raito. You have them all the time. This one was just….a little different. It was your mind's way of telling you to work harder, to catch Kira. That's all. So what if he looked like me, and sounded like me? We have totally different ideals! I would never kill people, not even criminals!' Raito nodded, managing a weak smile. 'It was just a dream….just a dream…'
Mentally, he repeated this, over and over, until sleep began to pull at his eyelids, dragging them down. Raito grimaced, but allowed the lulls of sleep to overtake him, thankful when no red eyes or laughter became clear. 'Just a dream, that's all it was. Just a dream…the voice, his face, everything, it's just my mind playing tricks on me…'
So what if Kira was beautiful? So what if, in his nightmare, the killer had taken on his own appearance? None of that mattered, because he wasn't Kira. He didn't remember killing all those people, and he wouldn't do it to begin with, so that proved it! He wasn't Kira. He wasn't Kira. His dream had been just that; a dream. It meant nothing, absolutely nothing. It certainly didn't mean that he was some kind of psychotic killer, hell bent on trying to become God, as L had said. He could never be Kira. Wasn't possible. No one could forget killing that many people, despite what Kira and L said! And, were he Kira, he certainly wouldn't have behaved as his nightmarish Kira had; deceitful, corruptive, and taking whatever he pleased, no matter the consequences. Raito knew he could never act like that, and wouldn't be so narcissistic to fucking enjoy raping himself, as Kira had. It was disgusting!
Raito eventually drifted off to sleep, the thoughts still racing in his head. He was right; he wasn't Kira. He had to forget the whole thing; the mirror, his so called reflection, Kira, that black notebook….everything! He wasn't Kira; he was Yagami Raito, partner to L, leader of the investigation team. That's who he was, and he would grow up to be a famous detective, like L, and save the world from criminals. Forget what Kira….his dream had told him. He was Raito. Nothing more, nothing less.
Right before he fully succumbed, a small grin of assurance on his lips, Raito thought he heard a faint voice in the back of his head, whispering, and a brilliant flash of crimson orbs.
"We're mirror images, you and I…..."
"Raito……..I'll be waiting…….."
Wow, that's the end. Ughh, I slaved away trying to finish this, and I pray the ending didn't totally suck because of my utter impatience ^^; Anyway, I hope this was good, and you all hopefully enjoyed it, but please leave me a review and give your opinion, alright?
Shout-outs: Otouto-chan, happy late birthday! I love you! And to my friends on , Neko-chan, Oktapous, I hope you two will be inspired to make some delicious fanart for this piece ;) And anyone else is also welcome to do fanarts for this, or any other of my works, as long as you send me a link so I can see it!
Shizuka no Taisho