Chapter 1: Meet The Gang

It was the end of the world as they knew it. The zombie apocalypse started just a few hours ago. Despite the fact that the zombies were pathetic as hell, being absurdly stupid and slow as fuck, the virus somehow spread. Despite this, some creatures scattered across the multiverse were entirely immune to the virus unless they got killed by the zombies. Now, while there were many creatures who had this immunity, most were genuinely evil and greedy. Some, however, still had good, er, non evil hearts, anyways. Some of them were still jerks, but not evil.

At the very beginning of the apocalypse...

The Twin Missy Mall was chaotic as ever. Thankfully, one store in the entire mall was actually calm: the local Starbucks.

"I hate coffee, but at least I can get some peace in here," Lucario groaned, taking a seat by the back of the store.

"I'm sorry sir, but you have to buy our products to hang around in here," Pee-Wee Herman, the manager of the Starbucks, said.

"What?! Uggghhh... fine, one coffee, please," the Aura Pokémon grunted. As Pee-Wee was about to head into the kitchen, some screams were heard from outside the shop, causing Lucario to jump.

"What the barnacle is going on out there?!" Squidward, the only other customer at the time, wondered.

"I almost want to check... but knowing this place, it's probably nothing but some stupid kids up to no good again," Pee-Wee said.

"I hope it's not those kids that stole my car the other day!" Shadow the Hedgehog, the most loyal worker at the Starbucks, commented. "If they steal anything else from me, I will kick their asses this time!"

"Help! Let us in! HELP!" a voice shouted from behind the entrance. Lucario sighed, getting up to open the door, letting Goku and Protoman into the shop. The two ran as far back as they could, hiding behind a bookshelf.

"Why are you two hiding like a bunch of babies?" Squidward asked the two.

"Z-z-zombies!" Goku whimpered.

"... OK, it looks like you two had too much ice cream last night at the party," Lucario said.

"I did have a lot of ice cream, not only last night, but I just got some at Morshu's stand! But I'm not hallucinating or anything!" Protoman cried out. "There really are zombies out there!"

"I'm surprised to see mother fucking Goku of all people scared of some supposed zombies," Shadow commented after taking a sip of a fresh Cappuccino.

"I'll just head outside and show these two that there aren't any zombies," Lucario said.

"No! Don't do it! They'll eat you alive!" Goku yelled. Lucario took one step outside to see blood all over the walls, arms and legs all over the floor, and the corpse of Wreck It Ralph.

"Uhhh... either this really is the zombie apocalypse, or I had too much ice cream myself," Lucario said, staring at the gore that surrounded him. Shadow, Pee-Wee, and Squidward walked out of the store, wondering what Lucario was just standing out there for.

"Wow... this is bloodier than a girl on that time of the month, if you know what I mean," Pee-Wee joked.

"Really? Inappropriate jokes at a time like this?" the annoying squid groaned, hating the perverted man's joke. "Not to mention it was just plain terrible overall!" While the group began to argue like idiots, JabberJaw and Speed Buggy attempted to stop the incoming zombies, but were mercilessly devoured.

"The appocalypse of zombies will be having the tasting of my chortles!" Fawful laughed, destroying a bunch of zombies with a laser.

"What the fuck did he just say?" Black Mage, whose name was Evilwizardington asked Lucario, who shrugged.

"Quick! To the Batmobile!" Batman said, jumping out of nowhere. Of course, Black Mage killed Batman, deciding to be a big pain in the Pingas.

"What the heck?! Why would you do that, barnacle brains?!" Squidward exclaimed.

"I'm evil!" Black Mage laughed evilly.

"My chortles and Evil Ham be had it with the arguing of the idiots!" Fawful groaned as he teleported everyone out of the mall... and by everyone I mean our main characters.

"JERKWADS!" Abridged Cell exclaimed as he was eaten by the zombies.

XxXx

The main group arrived at a rundown pub out in the outskirts of town. It reminded Black Mage of his days back at the bar he worked at when he was a teenager.

"Oh, sweet memories... of evil!" the evil mage chuckled.

"I guess this will make a nice base," shrugged Protoman.

"Yes it will! EXCELSIOR!" Stan Lee exclaimed as he appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey, who invited this punk in here?!" Shadow complained before he threw Stan out of the pub. Lucario proceeded to chew the edgy hedgehog out for his actions while everyone else made themselves at home.

"Man, I don't think things could get much worse right now," Squidward sighed. "Oh well... at least I may never see SpongeBob, Patrick, or the Krusty Krab again."

"I could make things worse," Black Mage replied, adjusting his hat. "If you want, I could fill your mind with horrid memories!"

"Not now, Black," Protoman warned. "We don't need that Squidward's Suicide creepypasta to happen in front of our very eyes."

"How about Rainbow Factory?" the evil mage asked. "Or maybe Hypno's Lullaby?"

"Creepypastas are crap, now quit bringing them up!" exclaimed Goku.

"Everyone just shut up!" Lucario yelled. "Quit acting like idiots and just stay quiet, or at least do something productive! Mother of Arceus, why must I be with a bunch of morons during a zombie apocalypse?!"

"Hey, I'm not a moron!" Squidward replied harshly.

"Sheesh... it's going to be a looooooonnng day," Black Mage sighed, messaging his temples.

"Well, that's what happens during the zombie apocalypse," Protoman said. "Nothing ever goes right, and everyone just acts like a bunch of idiots."