Only The Good Die Young.
Chapter 1
I never thought that this would be me. I mean, I'm a Broadway star with a great career; I've been in twelve musicals, nine of which were leading roles, I won my first Tony award at 23 and have been offered parts in several Hollywood blockbusters. I have an amazing home and a fantastic, supportive family and fiancee. Everything seems great, but I am 27 years old and I have just been diagnosed with cancer.
The Big C. The one thing that everyone is scared of. The one thing that everyone knows about. The one thing that everyone dreads. And I've got it. I may have done a lot so far in my lifetime and had many more opportunities than others, but I still have so many dreams and now suddenly they're all pouring away like the sand from a broken hourglass.
From the minute the doctors walked into the room I knew it wasn't good, they had that look on their faces, you know, the one that says 'we're really sorry to say this, but, you're going to die'.
When I first went to the hospital I never expected to come out with a life changing diagnosis, I only went for a routine check, I'd been feeling and being sick for a few months, I'd had stomach cramps and I'd started losing weight. I thought it couldn't be too bad because nobody else had noticed anything, not even my fiancee Finn who normally notices everything, but I went anyway just so I could make sure everything was okay. It wasn't.
The doctors say that I have progression 4 stomach cancer. Its typical me, always different to everyone else, I can never just be simple. I shouldn't have got cancer, especially stomach; I'm the complete opposite of who is supposed to get it. I'm not a 60 year old man, I don't have a bad diet, I don't drink often and I have never smoked a cigarette in my life. This should not be happening to me. This should not be happening to Rachel Barbra Berry.
I'm not scared about dying and I'm not scared about the pain, I'm more scared about hurting my friends and family, and most of all I'm scared of being forgotten. All I can think about is how Finn's face is going to look when I tell him or how my dad's are gonna feel. I don't want to hurt them, especially Finn. He only proposed to me a few months ago, it was the best day of my life, better than when I got my first role on Broadway or even when I won the Tony. But I just love him so, so much, the way he looks at me and the way he hugs me whenever I see him, I just know that he's the one. He's the best man I've ever met and I'm reminded of that everyday when he makes my breakfast (brown toast with fresh tomatoes and a splash of oil.) He knows everything I like and he can always make me smile no matter what. I just can't bear hurting him. When we were in High School, I always dreamed of a life with him, sure we had our up's and downs, and everyone told us that we weren't right for each other but, deep down I always knew. And here we are, engaged to be married and ready for our lives ahead of us but now there's no way of that happening. Anyway, I have a rehearsal to go to and nobody can know what's going on. Especially paparazzi. The news would have a field day if they knew that one of the most famous stars has life threatening cancer. No. Nobody can know until they absolutely need to.