I haven't posted anything here in ages and I'm sorry to anyone who for some reason liked my stories I never finished. I've tried to write new updates, but I've just stopped before finishing them and later just forgotten and I'm very busy with school and all that boring, but important stuff, so yeah. I just suddenly had nothing to do and decided to write this new story and it didn't take me long to finish what I have here so far. I didn't really plan to upload anything on this site in a long time, but as I said I randomly started writing this and now that I'm in school and have wifi I'm just gonna upload this real quick, so if this story doesn't make any sense or are just plain boring and bad I'm sorry I didn't read through it and my English might not be at the best in this story lol.

Anyways I hope you enjoy it and thanks to everyone who faves, followed and reviewed my previous (bad) stories.

PS: I do not own How I Met Your Mother...And this might some times be a bit OOC, but for me, as long as swarkles are together I don't rly care.

"You just know she likes it dirty." Barney, said with a smirk admiring the beautiful lady Ted just pointed out seconds earlier. Ted went on about her being "the one" and that he's going to marry her someday, but Barney didn't pay any attention at all. He had his eyes locked at her perfect body. Everything had a perfect size. Not too big boobs, but at least she had some. Her eyes were shining like two beautiful blue stars on the face he just couldn't stop staring at. Her brown hair was done perfectly and Barney hated himself for wishing he could stroke his fingers through it at this exact moment. He definitely felt something he hadn't felt in a very long time and even though the feeling scared him, he knew he couldn't run away from it every time.

"Barney. BARNEY!?" He heard Ted's distant voice somewhere in his day dream, which of course were him and that insanely perfect woman tongue kissing in the middle of the bar almost eating each others faces off.

He turned slowly towards Ted, "what?"

"Are you gonna be the awesome wingman you are and introduce me to her?"

"Introduce you to who?" He pointed in a totally different direction than to where they both had been staring the last couple of minutes. "The blonde over there?"

"No! Barney," he pointed to the gorgeous brunette. "I want her."

Barney didn't want to give this one to Ted, but he didn't want to be a bad wingman either, so he decided to go with it.

He walked slowly towards the brunette and the closer he got the sweatier he felt. His heart rate 10 times faster for each step he took in her direction. Did Ted notice? Did anyone notice? His palms were wetter than ever. Even wetter than they are after making a woman's wildest, dirtiest dreams come true with his magical hands. And this time it was because of a woman he hadn't even touched yet.

He was just inches away from her. He looked straight at her behind trying to picture his hand there. He basically undressed her with his eyes and all he saw was pure perfection. He needed to be with her, he wanted it so badly, but he couldn't. He sighed stroking his hair and tapped her on her shoulder. ….

She turned around when she felt someone tapping her, meeting the shiniest blue eyes she'd ever seen and his shy smile was the cutest most attractive smile she'd seen. And the suit he wore made him look even more attractive. She was about to say something when… "Haaaave you met Ted?" And suddenly another man appeared when the most attractive one of them quickly disappeared from her eyesight. She immediately felt a little disappointed 'cause this dude was nothing like the blue-eyed dude.

"So, what's your name?" The man, who she assumed was Ted asked.

"Robin." She replied, trying to show interest just 'cause maybe if she became friends with him she'd see the blonde mystery guy again.

But sadly, she was wrong.

"Where's Barney been lately?" Lily suddenly asked. Changing topic when she'd gotten enough of Ted's boring architecture crap.

"Yeah, it's been 1 month. He's usually here every single day." Marshall added.

Marshall and Lily went on about how strange it was that they hadn't seen anything to this guy named Barney in over a month.

"Who's Barney?" Robin tried to ask several times, but no one answered. She looked over to Ted who'd been awfully quiet the whole time.

"Ted. Who's Barney?"

The moment Ted's name was mentioned Lily and Marshall stopped talking and looked over at him.

"Do you know why he's never here anymore?" Both of them asked in unison, but they didn't turn to smile at each other this time like they'd done all the other times something similar happened maybe because they really needed to know the answer to the question.

"It's not my fault he's never here anymore." Ted said and looked down at his feet.

"Who's Barney?" Robin asked again.

"I can't believe it took us one month." Marshall shook his head in shame.

"We just had a small argument one night." Ted whispered hoping nobody would hear him, but Robin with her amazing hearing caught his every word.

"So, is that why I haven't met him?"

Ted was almost in tears now. "He said something that terrified me when he slammed the door."

"What did he say?" Lily was really worried now.

"He said farewell."

Ted was asleep when Robin found herself looking through all his things in every room. She knew what she was doing was a bit wrong. She was Ted's girlfriend and had agreed to it just so she could have a chance to see the blonde guy with the suit again, but that plan had not worked.

She'd been looking for hours when she found a small box called "memories." She opened the box finding a bunch of pictures and she gladly looked at all of them even if it was pictures of Ted with other girls. They didn't exactly hurt her 'cause her feelings for Ted were not like that. He was her friend and well, her boyfriend, but that wouldn't last much longer.

She'd almost looked through all the pictures when she saw him. He wore a suit on this picture, too. He was smiling to the camera with his hands on Ted and Lily's shoulders. It was very clear to her that they'd been close, but why hadn't she met him yet? She found more pictures of him. One where he was making out with a woman and strangely that made her heart do some things to her that made her want to rip the picture in pieces.

She looked at the pictures for a long time and for some reason whispered the name of the man her friends had been talking about.

"Barney."

"I love you."

She felt like she was gonna throw up. "WHAT?"

"I love you, Robin."

This was not good. This was so not good. He loved her, but she didn't feel the same way. She was not even in love with him.

"Do you," he gulped, "love me?" He was clearly afraid of what her answer would be. But this was her time to get it over with. She couldn't go on like this. She couldn't date someone she didn't have romantic feelings for. Especially when that person was insanely in love with her and if she kept dating him it'd mean only one thing, she'd have to hurt him another day when he feels like the relationship is safe and that's the last thing she wants to do.

"Robin. Please answer me. I need to know."

She sighed. "I'm sorry Ted, but I'm not the kind of girl who gets those kinds of feelings so easily. I'm almost never in love with anyone. And it breaks my heart that I have to say this, but I did fall for someone not too long ago, but it wasn't you." She could see the disappointment in his eyes. His eyes were already tearing up and she knew he wanted to be alone, but first she had to say something that would make him even sadder. "But I do love you as a friend. Just not like you love me."

She didn't want to be there any longer. She'd just make the guy sadder, so she quickly ran out of the apartment knowing she'd probably just messed up her friendship with the nicest people she'd met so far in this huge city.

…

"GOOD JOB TED! YOU JUST SCREWED EVERYTHING UP WITH MY ONLY GIRLFRIEND! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?" Lily yelled not even caring that she was hurting the poor guy even more.

"FIRST YOU DO SOMETHING SO THAT BARNEY DISAPPEARS, BUT YOU SOMEHOW FOUND A GIRL TO REPLACE HIM AND THEN YOU SCREWED THAT UP. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"

Ted just ignored her and went home just now realizing how much he missed Barney and just now really wondering where the hell that dude's been.

…

"Self-Five" he yelled high fiving himself naked in the trash cans after banging a 20 year old in the trash. He put on his suit and left her there, smiling to himself imagining how she would react waking up alone in garbage. "Well, she's literally a dirty lil girl," he said to himself while walking down the streets towards his apartment. That's when he saw her, Robin Scherbatsky. The woman he'd introduced Ted to. Later argued with Ted about her.

"You were not looking for the one Ted. You were looking for a one night stand." Barney was clearly annoyed at Ted's idea about introducing Robin to the gang.

"But she is the one. I just know it and I want her to meet them."

"NO NO NO. I will not let you do it." Barney was nervous about what Ted's reaction would be next, but he had to know.

"Will you let her meet them if I leave and never come back to you guys because of that?" He knew he was about to cry, but he kept it inside. He could not cry in front of Ted. Barney wasn't a man who cried.

"You can't threaten me."

"YES I CAN!" He was angry this time. He was so mad he wouldn't care to throw all of his achievements out the window. 'Cause the best thing that had ever happened to him after the tragedy he calls Shannon (which still is his little secret) was his friendship with Ted and this THIS just proofs to him how fake Ted is.

Ted just seemed confused and didn't understand why this was such a big deal to Barney.

"No, Barney. If I want to introduce her to Marshall and Lily I will."

Barney just shook his head and whispered, "I'm not gonna try to stop you anymore 'cause it's clear to me that I mean nothing more to you than a little fun when you're bored and need help to check up ladies."

Ted was still confused, but Barney kept talking.

"I thought we were friends, but fuck everything called friendship. FAREWELL, TED!" He said and slammed the door behind him.

He hadn't met up at MacLaren's that day because she was gonna be there and he didn't know if he could hide his feelings. The next day he'd almost entered the bar, but seeing her there had made him turn around and quickly realized she'd been his replacement. It's now been over a month and now she's there right in front of him looking at a map over New York, apparently lost.

He didn't feel as nervous this time 'cause he'd already done it once, but this time he'd introduce himself.

…

She had no idea where to go. She was completely lost in this big confusing city. She'd tried to hail a cab, but that too seemed to be something she had to be used to, to manage.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, "Haaave you met me?" That voice. She'd heard it before and it'd been stuck in her head ever since. She turned around quickly and before she even got to look at him he asked her if she was lost.

"Yes! I'm very lost. I'm trying to get home, but I don't know where to go to find the right subway and…"

"Have you tried to wave at those yellow cars that passes you every minute? You know, that's a cab."

She laughed at the way she explained it to her, "yes, but the one time I got one to stop a person just jumped in the back seat when I was…"

He interrupted her again, but she just couldn't help but find it extremely cute.

"From now on, never let anyone steal your cab, ok?" He took his hand out towards her.

"Um.."

"Don't you know how to introduce yourself, Robin?" He said clearly making fun of her.

She took his hand and the moment she touched it she felt some kind of electricity hitting her right in the heart. Little did she know he felt the exact same thing.

"You already know my name." She said to him curiously.

"And you don't know mine?" He asked giving her a teasing look.

"I don't know. Why should I?" She was 99,9% sure she knew it, but what if he wasn't the guy her probably ex friends were talking about.

He just smiled at her. A smile that melted her heart and without thinking about it she mumbled his name.

"What was that?" The crinkles by his eyes when he smiled made her heart jump and she just wanted to go far away from this. This good feeling she hadn't felt in forever. It was a strange feeling and it scared her.

"What?" She asked still examining his perfect face.

"You said something, but I didn't quite hear what you said."

And without thinking she did it again.

"Barney."

He smiled even wider if that was even possible and put his hand up in the air, "HIGH-FIVE!"

"Thanks for helping me." They were doing the dishes together something Barney found quite odd 'cause he didn't expect she'd let him in. "My pleasure, Scherbatsky." She laughed at his name choice and felt her cheeks burning into the red color she so badly wanted to hide, "aww, are you blushing?"

"No!" She said in a high-pitched voice.

"Oh, too bad. We would have been two."

She was confused for a second when suddenly she caught his read cheeks and she just burst out laughing.

"OH MY GOD, YOU WERE BLUSHING!"

"Aw, come on. Like you didn't blush."

"I DID SO NOT BLUSH, BARNEY. IT WAS THE LIGHT."

Barney looked up at the ceiling.

"HAhaha, good one, Scherbatz, but there's no lights in here that can make your cheeks look red."

She sighed.

"Why is this so easy for you? I thought blushing were something no one wanted to be caught in by, well, a stranger."

He tilted his head to the side and he was so cute she was sure her cheeks went read again.

"Because I'm honest with you. And you make me blush." He laughed when that one little truth made her look like a tomato in her face.

She shook her head, "well, I think it's time for you to leave. I have work in the morning." She followed him to the door and right when he was about to leave he turned to her with his phone in his hand, "exchange numbers?" She grabbed his phone and added her to his contact list making sure every time she calls he'll see a picture of one of her silliest faces.

"It seems like you have to call me 'cause Barney, I never call the man first, so I'm not even gonna give myself your number by sending me a message." She heard her phone's message sound and he just smirked, "well, that's my job." She shook her head and pushed him through the door, "well, I guess this won't be the last time I see you."

"It won't." He replied quickly.

"Then, leave."

"Ok, ok, bye!" He started walking down the hall and she smiled more than she had in years. "Bye."