Disclaimers: I do not own the following movies/books/book adaptations. The Lord of the Rings trilogy belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien and New Line Cinema. One particular dialogue comes from "The Avengers", which belongs to Marvel. "Tangled" and "Frozen" belong to Disney, "Brave" belongs to Disney and Pixar, the Twilight Saga belongs to Stephanie Meyers, and Fifty Shades of Grey belongs to E.L. James. Honestly, I'm almost glad I don't own them, but I will borrow the characters and bring them back, of course.
I only wrote this because four of these movies I'm annoyed with and Tangled mainly for most of the songs, Fifty Shades disturbed me, and Brave… well, Brave is a good movie, I'll admit, but I wasn't sure what to make of it in its trailers. Now, I like Flynn Rider; he's one of my favorite characters in Tangled, but I couldn't help myself. So, we're observing this story through his eyes.
In truth, the dashing thief Flynn Rider, with short brown hair and wearing the look of a thief in a blue sleeveless vest, rode on a noble white steed. Well, this steed was Maximus and their relationship was – rocky. Still, they rode, determined to get away from each other and at the same time head through the forest in search of… well, to get away from each other. What a life.
As Flynn tried to get away from Maximus, a black-and-white steed, looking more gallant that Maximus, zoomed off into the woods. The thief and the horse glanced at each other. Getting an idea, Flynn told the horse:
"Why don't you say we strike a bargain? Head out into the sunset?" Flynn's smile won people over.
Maximus was not amused. He charged off into the woods, off the beaten trail. Flynn was forced to grasp Maximus' white mane, hoping he wouldn't be bucked off. It was then they stopped at a training area, complete with several objects, targets and training dummies. At that, Flynn and Maximus fought behind the bushes. Flynn won the battle and walked out gallantly with a smile. Maximus watched from the bushes, annoyed with Flynn. He didn't have to fight him, but at the same time the steed couldn't trust the thief.
Flynn at last found the black-and-white steed, which was indeed more muscular than Maximus. He was eating grass to his delight. Before Flynn could throw the satchel on the horse, he was stopped by a young woman with curly red hair all over the place and wearing a blue princess dress. She spoke in a thick Scottish accent.
"That'd be me horse. What d'you think yer doin'?" asked the girl.
Flynn was embarrassed. Deciding to do the only thing he could do, Flynn showed his award-winning smile. He was immediately smacked by the girl, who gave him a right speech about his behavior:
"Now ye listen. If I wanted a thief, such as you stealin' my horse, I would have let you. Am I lettin' ye?"
Flynn asked the only question that came to mind, after coming to his senses: "Who are you?"
"The name's Merida and don't you be forgettin' it," said Merida.
"I'm very sorry, miss," said Flynn, backing away and putting the satchel around his shoulders. He said to himself, amazed at Merida's determination, "Wow. She packs a whollop. I wonder…"
Flynn stopped at the next station of the training grounds, where he could see a girl with blonde hair put up in a long French braid, wearing a light blue dress with a blue silky train, practicing ice magic. This girl looked interesting.
Approaching the young woman, Flynn asked her, charmingly, "Are you okay, miss?"
"Whatever you want will have to wait, Edward Cullen," said the girl.
"I'm not Edward Cullen. I don't even know who Edward Cullen is," said Flynn, confused.
"Oh," said the girl. She asked in such a regal voice, "Do forgive my intrusion. I didn't mean anything by it. The name's Elsa and I do ice magic. Oh. I'm usually better than this."
"The name's Flynn. Flynn Rider," introduced Flynn, extending a hand.
Elsa was terrified. Putting sparkly blue gloves over her hands, Elsa shook his hand. "Forgive me. I'm still learning how to control my magic."
"Well, good thing you have a strange man to help you with…" That didn't come out right. "I mean, strange in a good way, not that I'm a strange man." He paused for a breather. "I'm usually better at this, too." He showed off his award-winning smile.
Elsa couldn't help but giggle. "You're cute, but you're not my type." She ignored him now, as her younger sister Anna, also a red-haired girl, came to visit her elder sister. Flynn made a small comparison of Anna's hair to Merida's hair, noticing they were both ginger but… oh, he needed to move on fast. Why would he compare people's hair?
Moving to the next station, Flynn spotted a bunch of vampires that looked just like marble statues. Vampires?! Wait, should he be afraid of vampires? No, he shouldn't. How harmless could they be? Gallantly striding up to them, he stopped by the flaming red-haired teenage girl. Wait, why were all these women donned with flaming-red hair? Or blonde like Elsa? Was this some pattern he would need to follow?
Flynn got the red-haired vampire girl's attention. Readying his smolder face, Flynn spoke to the vampire girl, "Hi. How are you doing?"
The vampire girl looked him over. She said at once, "Sorry, but I already have a vampire and you're human. And pathetic human lives aren't my thing."
"What's wrong with men?" asked Flynn, confused and slightly chipper.
"I like vampires. The name's Bella," said the vampire girl. "Vampires are the heroes."
"Heroes? Vampires? Please. Vampires eat people. How does that make them heroes?" asked Flynn, not understanding Bella's concept.
"He has a point, Bella," said a bronze-haired vampire boy.
"You must be Edward Cullen," said Flynn, making a good guess.
"Yes, that's me. Now leave Bella alone. She's mine," said Edward.
"That's a bit forward. She's not taken, is she?" asked Flynn.
Edward pulled Bella in, growling at the thief. Flynn showed off his cheeky grin, before saluting them and taking off. However, he kept feeling Edward's gaze on him intensely. Maximus was snorting and laughing in his horse fashion at this display. Flynn raised an eyebrow his way, only to have the horse snort at him angrily.
Moving to the next station, Flynn encountered a man wearing a grey suit advancing on a woman with red hair. Again with the red hair! What was wrong with this picture? Aside from the hair, before Flynn freaked out too much… oh, the scene was too horrible to leave alone. Seizing the opportunity, Flynn advanced towards the scene, much to the disgruntlement of Maximus.
Pulling the man in the grey suit off of the woman, Flynn charged into his defensive pose, "Hey, leave the poor young lady alone!"
"She wanted it," said the man in the grey suit. "Personally, I am willing to pay up."
"Pay up for what? She can't have wanted this," said Flynn.
The woman started, but was timid, "Actually, I…"
"See? She knows she wants me and I am willing to allow her to sign my contract in order to have her," said the man in the grey suit. "I'm Christian Grey."
"And I am furious," said Flynn. "So, basically, the way I see it, you're going against this woman's wishes and making out with her? I'm sorry, but I'm old school."
"And I'm bored. Now please get out of the way before I hit you," said Christian. "Come on, Ana."
"She's not going anywhere with you," said Flynn, defending the woman.
"I can take care of myself," said the red-haired woman.
"No, you're letting an abuser into your life," said Flynn.
"He's rich. He's a billionaire," said the red-haired woman.
"And I'm poor and still a charmer," said Flynn, showing his award-winning smile.
"Hey, get out of here!" said Christian, going into his defensive mode.
"I don't think so. This woman is not going anywhere with y-" Too late. Flynn was punched in the nose by Christian. This only made Flynn more than anxious to fight this man. "Oh, you did not want to go there." In moments, Flynn and Christian ended up in a fist fight. Flynn soon got the better of Christian, before Christian used his strength against him, and knocked him out.
The red-haired woman was shocked, "Why did you do that?"
"Because he was hurting you. You really want to end up with a guy like that? Edward's no different," said Flynn. However, he was grabbed by his white dress shirt's collar by Edward, who was furious. "Wow, you're fast. How did you get over here so quickly?"
"Don't you dare say one more word against me!" Edward was more than angry.
Flynn made an effort, but did eventually pull Edward's arm off of him. He said in his canny voice, "All right. You people clearly don't need me around. I'll just be going now." Nervous, Flynn sped off through the forest. Maximus charged after him in an effort to grab the satchel.
It was only until Flynn lost Maximus that he came across a lone stone tower, nestled in a waterfall valley. Maybe he could evade Maximus there. But what awaited Flynn at the top of the tower, in the lone window, was a sight that would change his life forever.
5 Minutes Later…
Flynn was sluggish climbing up the tower. At last he made it! Now he needed a break. Recovering, Flynn glanced up from where he lay at a strange man with curly brown hair on his head and feet. His eyes were strikingly blue. The look on his face was full of frustration and annoyance.
"Who are you and what are you doing in my tower?" asked the curly-headed man.
Flynn moved to a standing position, only to see this man was short, no bigger than his waist. Oh, he could have fun with this short man. "Hello. Aren't you adorable?" He squeezed on the short man's cheeks. The short man backed off at once.
"Excuse me. Who are you? Oh wait, don't tell me. You're Flynn Rider!" said the short man, pulling out a wanted poster.
Flynn checked it over. They got his nose wrong… again! "They still have my nose wrong!" the nose on the poster was crooked and huge, not like his nose which was just right and not crooked. After the short man put the poster away, Flynn asked him, "And you must be…"
"Frodo Baggins," said Frodo in introduction, stuffing the poster inside a chest.
"Right? I'll let your buddies know that I am moving into this tower, and to ensure there's no trouble, you can be my personal servant. You know, the cooking, cleaning and doing everything to make me comfortable. How does that sound?" asked Flynn, showing off his award-winning smile.
Frodo about had enough. Grabbing Flynn by the collar, Frodo threw Flynn out the window. He could hear Flynn as he climbed down the tower, "Okay, looks like I have the wrong tower. So bye!" Flynn sped down the tower and darted off into the next stone covered walkway.
Frodo shook his head. "Tourist." He returned inside the tower, prepared to set out once again for a new vacation spot.