Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight (sadly), it belongs to Hino Matsuri sensei and her great mind for create such a wonderful piece like Vampire Knight (I do hope I can own Kaname though...TT^TT) Warnings:
"..." for memories in Italics
'..' thought in Italics
And "..." present time
-The Fragile of Togetherness-
If only I could stop the flow of time,
turn the clock to yesterday erasing all the pain,
I've only memories of happiness
Such a pleasure we have shared, I'd do it all again
The silvery-white haired woman stares at the outside of the window in her room; her face looks saddened while her mind busy thinking certain thoughts. Even though she tried to keep her face remained expressionless, she can't help but let a slip of sad looks linger in her eyes as her gaze locked at the scene outside her window. The silver haired teen, who had been watching her the entire time; walks towards her slowly before he stopped right behind the white-haired woman, keeping the distance between the two of them.
"Is something wrong, Ichiru?" the woman asked, her straight long silvery-white hair glistened under the sun rays.
"Shizuka-sama...is there something that bothering you?" the said teen asked back."It's nothing,"
The teen moves a little towards the older woman as she still keeps her gaze to the outside of the window.
"Shizuka-sama, why you don't want to change me? I don't mind giving my blood to you,"
There's a long silence after that words echoed before the said woman sighed softly. "You still asked me such a question...Why are you really insisting on that kind of thing, Ichiru?" she asked slowly.
"Because I want to always stay by your side, Shizuka-sama," the teen replied determinedly.
"Because it's my happiness to have you by my side always, my lady and I never once regret what you've done to me..."
Shizuka smiles sadly at the teen's answer. The answer he had given to her was almost the same thing like what that person had ever said to her before. Her eyes that were an unusually beautiful shade of pink that resembled cherry blossoms keeps staring at the window, never once did she turn back to face the silver haired teen. Her mind was so busy with her own thought as that man's voice keeps echoing within her head. The voice of him, of the only person she can love dearly.
"Nothing can stay still, my dear..." She said slowly. There's a tint of hurt in her voice when she said those words as if she was speaking from having an experience of it by her own self.
"Everything in this world is fragile like a glass that can be broken anytime," she continued calmly.
"What's your name?" she asked, her eyes locked at the man across her. It's been a week since both of them stay still in their place and stares at each other without doing anything.
"Nakamura Jun," the sandy taupe-haired man answered, his twilight lavender eyes show no fear as he mentioned his name calmly.
"Jun, why are you here? Have you been given to me for my snack?""…It seems so..." The man answered, his face keep remained expressionless as if he doesn't care about what will happen to his life.
'What a rare sight, none of my food ever has this kind of expression every time they know their next fate...'
"Are you afraid?" she asked, eyes looking inquiringly at the man across her."No,"It was a simple answer yet it gave such a great effect for her. She had expected any kind of answer but none of it was this. She could see that there's no fear or lie in the man's eyes as he said those words, instead she saw such a determined look in those eyes. And it fascinated her.
No one ever gave her such a look before. Every time they brought her a new human, all of them will look terrified and even trembled once they found out about what will becoming of them. But this man... this man was different. He wasn't like any others. That night was the first time she turned someone into a vampire and made him her manservant instead of devouring him like what she had done to the other humans.
"Shizuka-sama..?" The silver haired teen called out his mistress, who seems to be lost in her thought.
"Say Ichiru-kun, what 'love' means for you?"
The young man was taken a back with the sudden question as he found himself unable to utter any answer for the question. The silvery-white haired woman turns her gaze from the window and stares at the amethyst eyes patiently, waiting for the other to answer her.
"It's an emotion that you feel towards someone who is important for you and you hold so dear than your life itself," he said after some moments.
"More than your life, eh? It's quite true...but no matter how much we want to protect the one that we love, we never can run from the wheel of fate." She whispered, eyes looking wistfully at the cherry blossom tree outside her window.
"I'll give my life for you, my lady. Anything for you just to keep you safe from any harm. I'll even risk my life if it necessary. After all, it's nothing without you..."
'And give your life for me you've done...'
It was a bit difficult for them to escape from that place but once that man's attention was averted away from them for a while; she immediately took the chance and ran away. And now she was currently enjoying every moment she had got to spend her time with Jun at the outside world, the world she had always seen from her tiny window.
"Jun, have you ever regret having this kind of life with me?" she asked suddenly while leaning her body against the sandy taupe haired man. They were sitting under the cherry blossom tree as the sandy taupe haired man wanted to enjoy the sweet scent of the delicate flowers.
"Why all of sudden, my lady? And no. I never once regret having this kind of life with you. After all, you're the reason for my life." he said calmly as his arms tightened around the silvery-white haired woman's waist.
"Is that so? Do you really never regret living as a sinful creature like now?"
"Yes. Never once in my life did I regret for that thing, my lady." Jun smiled softly as he inhaled the scent of her hair against his face. Hearing that kind of answer from the man made Shizuka so happy as a small smile adorned her face. Never once did she felt something like this before but whenever she was with Jun, it was easier for her to feel so many things. It was like, the man had awakened her other side which is sleeping within herself all this time.
"Jun, you know I prefer you call me Shizuka instead of lady."
"I know, but you are still my lady first before my lover." He chuckled.
"Hmm, I still prefer the sound of my name when you called me." She mumbled slowly, as she closed her eyes. Jun only chuckled as he heard this, before he gave her a peck on her cheek.
"I know that, Shizuka." He whispered lowly against her right ear.
Shizuka can't help but let a bittersweet smile slip upon her face as she remembers those memories. Such a bitter sweet memories she has. One that she unable to forget yet she always gives her pain every time she remembers it.
"Ichiru-kun, tell me what will you do if the one that you love is in danger?" She asked in that sweet voice of hers.
The young man once again can't help but wondering for his lady sudden strange question. It wasn't like her to ask such a strange thing from him. Nonetheless, he keeps answering it anyway.
"I'll do anything within my power so I can protect her," he said.
"Even if it means giving your life for it?"
"Yes, even if I have to sacrifice my life for it." He stated without any hesitation."Then you shouldn't ask me to turn you, Ichiru-kun. Because you still haven't found the one that you have to protect with such vigour," she said.
"You're the one that I want to protect, Shizuka-sama and I won't be able to protect you to the fullest of my ability in my state as a mere human." He said stubbornly, amethyst eyes looked pleadingly at the silvery-white haired pureblood.
"Do you despise human, Ichiru?" she asked.
"I'm not. But to think that I can't do anything in my state make me feel hopeless," Ichiru said slowly. She walks towards Ichiru slowly as she caresses the teen's cheek softly.
"You're not hopeless, my dear. You're not hopeless at all," she said softly.
"Shizuka kaa-san!" the four years old little girl shouted happily. "What is it, my dear? You shouldn't run like that," Shizuka said as she crouched down to see the little girl in front of her. "Shizuka kaa-san! Shizuka kaa-san! Looks what I have! Jun otou-san said to give this for you, do you like it?" the young girl asked enthusiastically, aquamarine blue eyes looked hopefully at the silvery-white haired woman. The young girl gave a cherry blossom flower to the silvery-white haired woman. Shizuka took the cherry blossom flower from the little girl and gave her a pat in her head. It wasn't long before the older man appeared behind the young girl as Shizuka turned her gaze from the young girl. "Thank you," she said softly. "It's your favorite isn't it? I helped Yumi-chan to take it for you," Jun said, a small smile adorned his usually impassive face. "It's Jun otou-san's idea to pick it for Shizuka kaa-san. Does Shizuka kaa-san like it?" the young Yumi asked hopefully. "Yes, my dear I love it. Thank you, now would you be a good girl and leave me and Jun alone for a while? I want to talk with him," Shizuka asked as she kissed the young girl's forehead. The young girl nodded before ran towards the garden to pick some flowers again, leaving both Shizuka and Jun alone. "She has grown up into an adorable child," Jun said softly. "She is and she can't stop but calling you her father though I don't mind about it at all. After all, she deserve a father like you instead of someone like him, " she said sharply, her eyes narrowed dangerously at the thought of the man who had tortured her and made her life miserable. "Do you hate him for what he had done, my lady?" Jun asked lowly, eyes looking inquiringly at his mistress slash lover. "I never like him, not any single bit. What had happened between us that time was nothing but a pure torture from him. There isn't love in it at all. All he had done was forcing me and taking away my freedom," she said as her face darkened. "Does that mean you hate her as well?" Jun asked, twilight lavender eyes shifted to the young girl who happily picked up the flowers. "No, I just can't make myself hate her even though I hate that man for bringing her into this world once again... But, I can't hate her. She is pure and innocent and most of all, it's not her fault that she comes to this world. And it's definitely not her fault too that I lost my Satsuki for her life," Shizuka said slowly. "Do you love her?" "Yes I do. Although, she isn't my Satsuki... I can't help but love her as well like she's my daughter. I know she isn't Satsuki's replacement because I know they're different but still I love her as if she's my real daughter," Shizuka said wistfully. "I'm glad that I can be with you, my lady." Shizuka smiled at Jun and approached him. She caressed the man's cheek softly as her gaze lingering affectionately at him. "And I'm glad that I have you with me, Jun. I love you..." she said softly. "I love you too as well, Shizuka," Shizuka kissed him softly while he hugged her tightly within his arms. "I don't want to lost you, Jun." She said against his back. "I won't go anywhere, my lady. Besides, my place belongs to you and you only." 'It's been five years since you became my manservant, Jun and it also have been five years since I gave you my blood to prevent you from turning into level E... Still, I know it will bring a lot of danger for you since you're my lover as well beside your title as my manservant.. But I can't imagine myself without you and that's why I'll protect you...'
"Ichiru-kun, have you ever imagine having a family that will love you unconditionally?" The pureblood clad in a white kimono asked absentmindedly.
Ichiru says nothing to answer her since he never once imagine that kind of thing. It's true that he ever had a family before; a family that he thought was perfect before he knew the truth behind all those masks.
"I ever had a perfect family, the one that I hold so dearly for me. Someone who love me back equally like my love for him and a daughter that I love as well. But no matter how much I want to protect them, in the end nothing can ever last long like how I wanted it to be." She said after some moments of silence.
"Shizuka-sama…"
"Jun otou-san, where's Shizuka kaa-san?" the young four years old girl asked. "Shizuka goes to settle some things, Yumi-chan." "When she'll back? I miss her..." the young girl pouted. Jun chuckled as he saw the young girl's expression. She looked so adorable even when she pouted like that. He lifted the young girl and carried her. Young Yumi snuggled against his chest as he carried her. "Jun always smells like jasmine. It smells nice..." she mumbled sleepily. The man smiled at her comment and hugged the young girl tightly as he walked to her room. But before he could reach the door knob, he stopped suddenly as he felt another presence in the manor. "Jun..?" "Yumi-chan, would you stay in your room for a moment?" The sandy taupe haired man asked the young girl in his arm softly, a gentle smile adorned his face as he looked at her. "Won't you read a story for me, Jun?" The young girl frowned, an inquiring look on her face. "Aa, I will Yumi-chan but just wait a moment, please? I'll back right away," he said as he patted the young girl's head softly. "Okay, but please don't go too long. It's creepy around here," the girl muttered. "Are you afraid of being alone?" "Uhn...I don't want to be alone...not without Jun or Shizuka kaa-san," she replied weakly. "It's okay. I won't go too long so just wait in here, okay? I'll be right back," Jun left the little girl in her room alone while he went to check the manor. It wasn't long before he found them in the hall, looking around for something or someone. From the look of their appearance, he could tell that they were hunters. A sudden realization overwhelmed him as he saw them. 'If they're here it means they're going to kill Shizuka or Yumi!' With that thought within his mind, he immediately attacked them in order to protect the young girl, who is currently inside the room. He managed to manipulate one of them, but before he could kill her; his mind was distracted as he caught a silhouette of the chocolate caramel haired young girl who rubbed her eyelids sleepily. "Jun? What's happen? Why are you so long?" the young girl asked, still unaware of another's presence within the manor. Jun looked at her in disbelief, worried and fear. He hadn't expected the girl to come out all the way to here but here she is now, completely dumbfounded about the current situation. Whilst his mind was distracted by Yumi's presence, the female hunter managed to get herself away from his power. The woman immediately took the chance and tried to hurt Yumi; thinking that the girl was probably a vampire too. "No! Don't! She's just a mere child and we supposed to take her with us. The leader won't be happy if we hurt her," the silver-haired man, who is her partner shouted. The female hunter stopped in her track before she touched Yumi but the young girl now had realized the current situation and trembling in fear. Jun quickly moved and stood right in front of her to prevent her from seeing the scene in front of her. Though, he can't protect her any longer as a sword stabbed his body and torn up his chest. He could barely hear Yumi's scream and see her tears as he slowly lost his balance. "Jun! NO!" The girl screamed in horror as she see the body of her father figure fall into the cold floor. Blood flowed freely from his body as the color of red slowly tainted the young girl's form. It was at that time did Hiou Shizuka arrived at the manor and found the body of her beloved lying on the floor; covered in blood. She immediately ran towards him and knelt beside him. She glared darkly at the hunters once she saw her beloved one hanging for his life. Knowing they can't win against the pureblood, the hunters retreated quickly. "Jun! Hang in there, I will give you my blood," she said in a panicked state. "Don't! It's okay, my lady. I'm fine, is the little lady fine?" Jun asked as he coughed. As the question hit her, Shizuka turned her gaze from her lover to Yumi and saw how the little girl just stood in there like a statue. Her face was so pale as her gaze keep lingered on her fingers which covered in blood now. "Yumi..." Shizuka called out for the little girl softly. "Blood...blood…it's red everywhere, it's like a red rain..." The young girl muttered, her gaze was blank and keep lingered at the amount of blood in her fingers. "I'm sorry, my dear that you've to see something like this..." Yumi remained silent as she was still in a complete shock, Shizuka turned back to Jun who starts to turn into dust. "Jun, hang in there I'll give you my blood," "It's okay, my lady...I-...I'm okay," "NO! Jun! I won't let you go!" "My lady...for all these five years with you, I-...I've been so happy and it's enough for me. I love you, Shizuka but I don't want to endanger your life just to save me. I-..I...I really do love you that's why, I give my life to you." Shizuka hugged the man tightly as his body started to fade away. She leaned down and kissed the man softly as her tears flowed down from her eyes. "Don't cry, Shizuka...After all, there's nothing that eternal in this world not even for vampires... Everything is fragile and it same for the sense of togetherness also for the eternity...the one that exist is just peoples or vampires who try their best to stay together..." He said as his body turned into dust. Once his body completely fade away and turned into dust, Shizuka only can stay still as her gaze still lingered on the place where's Jun body laid before. Her tears had stopped roll down instead her face looked expressionless as her gaze remained to that place. "Until next time, my lady…" "Jun…" She muttered. She turned her gaze away from that place and saw the young girl who now staring blankly at her fingers. She approached the girl slowly and hugged her tightly. As if just with hugging her, it could erase all the things the young girl had witnessed. "I'm sorry for these things, you shouldn't feel all these things...I'm so sorry..." She whispered as she cast a spell upon the young girl. But somehow, hearing the sound of her voice made the girl snapped out of her daze as her eyes widened in realization of what the older woman was going to do. "No…" The young girl whispered softly. There's something more that the young girl was trying to say but her voice was drowned out while her little mouth moved to form some words. After that, everything turned to black for the young girl…
"I've ever thinking that everything will always stay the same. That I can be happy with the one that I love and the one that I hold so dear but fate made me realize that there's nothing that can last long in this world...-"
"Shizuka-sama..."
"-everything...is fragile like a glass that can break anytime and it's the same with the sense of togetherness...with love and hopes or even dream..." she continued.
"Is that why you don't want to change me, Shizuka-sama?"
"...I don't want to take something like that from you as well, my dear. You have your own life and I don't want to take your life as well after I took away your freedom. " She said slowly.
"But I'm different from Jun-san, Shizuka-sama." Ichiru said stubbornly, amethyst eyes looked at the older woman solemnly.
"I know. That's why; I don't want to turn you, Ichiru-kun. It's already enough for me to see such a sad fate like that...I don't want to see such a same thing to happen again to you,"
"Shizuka-sama..."
"Do you love cherry blossom?" She asked suddenly while they were alone in the garden.
"Yes I do," the sandy taupe-haired man answered.
"Why?" the silvery-white haired woman asked, confusion filled her voice.
"Because it's reflects you. For me you're the cherry blossom, such a sweet elegant flower but fragile at the same time,"
"That cherry blossom tree...he's the one who had planted it for me," she said as her gaze lingered at the cherry blossom tree at the outside of the window.
"Shizuka-sama?"
"He's the only one that I can ever love in my life and he'll be the only one for me... Ichiru-kun, there's nothing that I can do for you but you've served me well for many years now so...thank you for that," she said softly, not once taking her gaze away from the cherry blossom tree outside her window.
'In the end there's nothing left for me except the emptiness within my heart... even your voice now become fade away little by little... You are my first and my last love for eternity...'
Ichiru says nothing as he heard this. That night, it was the first time Hiou Shizuka said her gratitude towards Kiryuu Ichiru and it was the first time for him to see such a sad expression in his lady's face, who used to be calm and composed. It was the last night before they move to Cross Academy.
And we know it's never simple never easy
No a clean break, no one here to save me
And I can't breathe without you but I have to
Breathe without you, but I have to
Authoress' Note: So yeah, I decided to rewrite this story again. Because it made me cringe when I read it again. After all, there are a lot of mistakes in it. And even I was so uncomfortable when I read it, so I hope the story will look better this time.
Anyway, please tell me what you think about this story. It was my first time on writing from Shizuka's side since not much being said about her in the manga aside from her pitiful destiny and her sad fate. So, I tried to make one about how she had spent her life with her manservant when she was feeling happy before Rido took it all from her. This story basically is all from her side so there are a lot of her feelings in it.
Lastly, please give me a review, your review will absolutely brighten my day and tell me if my story is good or not. And no flame please because I'm still an amateur who still need a long way to improve. Thank you for reading this story of mine anyway :)