Hey guys! So this all takes place after Swan Song when Sam jumps into the cage. So this is what I would think would happen if Dean didn't go to Lisa right after Sam's death. Okay so this is like really dark and there are mentions of suicide so be warned! Oh and if you are reading my other stories I will be updating them soon!
Disclaimer- I don't own anything sadly.
Dean sits silently in the Chevy Impala in the middle of some back street road that goes into the woods. It is a little pass midnight and the forest is quiet besides the sound of crickets chirping. Deans steady eyes face ahead into the darkness while his hands are gripped tightly onto the steering wheel. His knuckles are white from how hard he is holding on. He has been sitting there for over two hours not moving a muscle. The hunter glances to his right at the now empty passenger seat. Clenching his jaw Dean grabs for his handgun that is laying by his feet without looking away from the empty bench. With no hesitation he brings the cold metal to his temple.
"Sammy… I am sorry." His voice cracks at the last word as he closes his eyes. He flicks off the safety on his gun and cocks it. Taking a deep breath in he slowly brings his finger to the trigger. Just as he was about to pull it he heard the flutter of wings. Castiel sits in the once empty seat beside the hunter. Dean relaxes slightly but does not remove the gun from his head.
"Why? Why now?" Dean opens his eyes to stare into the angel's dark blue ones. "After all the times I prayed for you why do you decided to show up now?"
"Dean…" Castiel reaches up and grabs the gun from Dean's hands. The hunter didn't put up a fight when the angel took the gun away nor did he break eye contact with him. He just watched with dead eyes as Cas tucks the gun away into his coat.
"What do you need me to do?" Castiel moves his legs so they are now facing towards the man and squares out his shoulders.
"For you to leave me the hell alone. For you to stop pretending like you actually give a damn about me and what I am going through. Just leave, Cas." Dean turns his gaze from Castiel to the driver's side window. Castiel looks straight ahead clenching and unclenching his jaw trying to come up with something to say.
"Dean I am sorry."
Dean scoffs still refusing to look at the other person sitting in his car. Castiel looks back the hunter even though he can longer see his face.
"I truly am. I wish it did not have to be like this. If there is anything I can do Dean…" Castiel trails off not sure what else he could possible say to help the broken man.
"You know what you could do."
"Dean… I cannot. Sam would never have wanted this for you."
Dean viciously wipes his face with his sleeves before turning his head to look at Castiel.
"Sammy isn't here anymore so it doesn't matter what he wanted. Plus, if anyone is going to speak for Sammy than it will be me not you." The hunters voice has risen to a near yell. Tears are freely streaming down his face. He takes a couple of deep breaths in trying to calm himself. "Either you can help me or you can just leave."
The two stare each other down. Neither wanting to be the first to look away. Deans eyes are empty while Castiel's are filled with sorrow as his heart was breaking for the man sitting in front of him. The angel finally gives up and stares down at his hands in his lap. He opens his mouth to speak but at first nothing comes out because he is lost for words.
"If this is what you truly want." Castiel's voice is so quiet that Dean almost missed it. Dean relaxes and gives the angel a small smile. The same smile that made Cas fall for him in the first place all those months ago. Although it does seem like they have known each other for so much longer after everything they have gone through together. All great things do have to come to an end.
"More than anything." Deans voice is hoarse from crying. He hasn't cried this much since he was saying goodbye to Sam when midnight struck and the hellhounds came for him but he wasn't crying for himself. Yes, he was scared but he was more scared what would happen to his brother. His job was to protect him but he failed that. His baby brother was gone and it was all his fault.
Castiel grabs the handgun that he stored in his coat and holds in his lap. Castiel was never one to use human weapons but he wanted this to be fast for Dean and one bullet from this would stop his suffering. With sad eyes he looks up from the piece of cold metal in his hands back at Dean. The hunter gives him one nod and Castiel raises the gun to point at Deans forehead.
"Are you sure?" Cas's voice is rougher than usual as he stares at the man that has changed his world for the better. Dean wipes the tears that stream from his eyes with his sleeve once more.
"I am ready to go home." Deans voice is quiet and broken. The voice of a dead man.
"Dean I…" Castiel voice cracks as a single tear runs down his face before falling onto his lap. "Thank you, Dean, for everything." Castiel had so many things he wanted to say but that was the only thing he was able to say. He thought about the moment he would have to say goodbye to Dean and planned out what he was going to say but now that it is here he in unsure how to let go.
"See ya around, Cas." Dean smirks at the angel one more time before closing his eyes. Castiel stares at the mans face for the last time before pulling the trigger. As soon as Deans body became limp and fell against the driver's side window the angel dropped the gun. Tears fell down his face as he looked at the body of the man he saved. The man who saved him.
"So this is team free will."
Tada! Did you guys like it? Hate it? Please let me know by leaving me a review because those let me know if my writing is any good or not! Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed it and thank you for reading!