Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or its characters and stuff. Not mine, whatsoever, though I wish it was.
She trudges up the never-ending stairs and almost trips on the last step from not being able to lift her foot all the way. She balances herself on the wall and groans – every inch of skin, muscle, bone, joint, her head and her heart aching every time she moves. Even breathing hurts and sends her head whirling, making her feel extremely dizzy.
"Almost..." She pushes herself off the wall and slowly makes her way to her bedroom, "...there."
She's extremely glad that her parents and Trina aren't home – it gives her the freedom to moan and groan in peace without alarming them that something's wrong. She can't even remember the reason she had for signing up for this stupid class.
She finally makes it to her room. She doesn't bother to turn on the lights and instead walks to her bed and falls face first. Her cool blankets ease the burn of her body and she moans slightly in relief.
Whoever thought that an extreme Zumba class was a good idea needs to be pushed through a wood chipper and then forced to take a class. She's not even sure why she decided to take it. Well, ok, at the time it had sounded like a good idea and she totally thought it would help her stamina but she had no idea that it would take the life out of her. She feels like she's being beat with a meat hammer while lying on top of a bed of nails and a wildfire roaming through her lungs.
She takes a deep breath and winces; her throat is so dry it could rival the Sahara Desert. She rolls across her bed and reaches for the glass of water on top of her drawer. She manages to bring the glass of water to her mouth and take a drink but drops the glass on her face, the water spilling all over her face, when the doorbell rings several times.
"Who can that be?" She groans, throwing the cup aside and sitting up in bed. She sits there for a minute listening for the doorbell again but falls back when it doesn't ring.
She closes her eyes and lets sleep take over.
She doesn't know how long she's been asleep – though it only feels like it's been 5 minutes – when she jolts up because someone is banging on her door. Her eyes adjust to the bright light and through the blurriness, she can see someone standing under the threshold.
"Who's there?" She asks as she rubs her eyes. When they don't answer, she straightens up and blinks her eyes rapidly, slowly gaining her vision back, "I said, who's there?"
The person chuckles and takes a few steps into the room, their boots tapping loudly on the wood floor. "Now, now, Vega. No need to get your panties in a knot."
"Jade?" Tori asks, confusion lacing her voice. "What are you doing here? And how'd you get in?" She tries not to groan when she stands up but it escapes her mouth causing Jade to raise her eyebrows at the painful sound.
"What's wrong, Vega? Get banged the wrong way?" Jade asks, amusement in her voice.
"Oh my God, what?" Tori asks, her eyes wide as she turns to face Jade more fully. The smirk on Jade's face grows bigger and she takes a few steps closer to Tori.
"I said, 'did you get bang-'" Tori raises her hand and glares, stopping Jade from finishing her sentence.
"I know what you said, but why did you – how can you say that? Oh my God." Tori shakes her head, her hands flailing around, not sure what to do.
Jade just laughs and smirks as she takes a seat on Tori's dresser, crossing her legs and folding her arms across her chest. She eyes Tori, following her every move, biting her tongue to keep her from saying something else. Which is weird because she doesn't care what she says, especially in front or to Tori, but she stops herself anyway.
She watches as Tori seizes or has an internal dialogue going on and she clears her throat when Tori shows no sign of stopping and acknowledging her.
"Hey, I'm still here." Jade says, becoming irritated.
"Right. What are you doing here anyway?" Tori asks, sitting back down on her bed. She closes her eyes and bites her lip when pain shoots through her body. When she opens her eyes again, the look on Jade's face sends a different kind of pain through her. She ignores it thought, because really, she's in pain.
Jade just rolls her eyes and pretends to check out her nails, ignoring Tori's question. "So, why does it look like you're constipated?"
Tori groans and lies back, her arms spread open and her eyes closing. "Really, Jade? I'm in pain." She opens her eyes, furrows her brows and turns her head so that she's looking at Jade, "Can you just spare me and tell me why you're here?"
"Jesus, Vega. Way to suck the fun out of everything." Jade spits out. Tori shakes her head and turns it forward so that she's facing the ceiling.
"I'm just really tired, Jade. And I hurt, so please. Just-" Tori waves her hand in the air indicating that she's finished talking. Jade groans and gets up off the dresser. She walks to Tori's bed and sits next to her, lying back and sighing loudly.
"I'm bored." Jade drawls out. She brings her hands to the back of her head and interlaces her fingers, resting her head against them.
"And what? I seemed like the most fun out of all your friends? Or were you feeling extra masochistic today?" Tori says with a certain hint of annoyance in her voice.
Jade raises an eyebrow and smirks at Tori's aggressiveness, never really seeing this side of the kind girl. And she likes it. It gives Tori this sort of certain attractiveness. Jade has always found Tori attractive and she has admitted to the girl that she found her pretty but this aggressiveness that she just displayed... it certainly made her sexy. And that thought makes Jade feel a little odd.
And she's been in her head too long because she can feel Tori tapping her shoulder. "Jade? Are you asleep?"
She quickly opens her eyes – she didn't even know they were closed – and looks at Tori. "What?" She asks, confused.
"I asked you a question and when you didn't answer, I looked at you and your eyes were closed and you were smiling. So I figured you were asleep and dreaming, or in your case, having a nightmare."
"Sorry," Jade says softly, dismissing Tori's poke at her. "I was just – just thinking." She's feeling extremely out of it. She suddenly feels extremely hot and it feels like something is burning her arm. Jade looks down at her arm and sees that Tori's arm is touching her's and she quickly pulls away.
"Are you ok?" Tori asks, suddenly feeling self-conscious at having Jade pull her arm away from her. She's not sure what's going on, but she's confused and tired and in pain and she can't deal with Jade right now.
"I'm fine. I gotta go." Jade stands up and is about to move away when Tori catches her arm, pulling her back to her bed. Jade falls back, almost falling on top of Tori, but lands right next to her. Tori huffs and blows out her cheeks, counting to 3 she lets her held breath and looks at Jade.
"I don't know what's happening here or with you, but it was nice... I guess." Tori says softly, unsure on what to do next. Jade just sits there, staring at her hands and then staring at Tori's hands fidgeting in her lap. Jade mindlessly reaches over and grabs one of Tori's hands, a small smile making it's way on her lips at how clammy her hand is. Tori's eyes widen as she watches Jade play with her hand, with her fingers, and she fights off a smile when Jade intertwines their hands.
Now Tori's really not sure what is happening and she can't help but like it. It's weird, though. She has always felt something for Jade and she kind of always thought that Jade felt something for her, too... and is this confirmation? She really shouldn't be getting her hopes high, Jade could just be feeling out of it, or something.
"Vega?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I try something?"
That's a very vague question, and it thrills her. Tori looks around her room before looking at Jade and seeing curiosity in her eyes. She nods her head and whispers a "Yeah."
And Tori watches Jade. She watches as Jade flicks through different emotions, as Jade licks her lips – and she can't help but lick her own as well – and she watches as Jade begins to lean in. Tori feels her pulse quicken, her heart pounding hard and loud in her chest. She watches as Jade eyes her lips and her eyes are drooping shut and she's so close now, but then she stops an inch away.
"Is this okay?" Jade whispers, her breath tickling Tori's lips.
Tori gulps and slowly nods her head, not trusting her voice. Her eyes are closed and when she feels Jade's soft lips on her own, she squeezes her eyes tightly shut.
And at first, it's a quick peck, but then Jade goes back in, lasting a little longer this time. Jade brings her free hand up to Tori's face and cups her cheek, her thumb caressing her cheek. Her eyes dart between Tori's and she moves her hand to the back of her neck, bringing Tori in closer.
Jade tilts her head slightly to the side and kisses Tori hard, their lips melding together perfectly, sending warmth throughout their bodies. Tori smiles into the kiss when she feels Jade sigh against her lips. She brings her hands up and cups both sides of Jade's face, trying to bring her even closer. She feels Jade nip at her bottom lip and a low moan escapes her mouth. Jade snakes her tongue into Tori's mouth and when their tongues meet, they both moan loudly.
Tori, feeling faint from lack of oxygen, reluctantly pulls away. She rests her forehead against Jade's and softly chuckles. This is the last thing she'd ever expected to get from Jade.
"What's so funny, Vega?" Jade whispers. She leans in and kisses Tori, smiling into it.
"It's just that – that was the last thing I ever expected to get from you." Tori says, voicing her thought.
Jade snorts – attractively, of course – and scratches at the nape of Tori's head causing her eyes to close and her mouth to form a small o. "That feel good?" Jade asks teasingly.
"God, yes." Tori moans.
Jade was about to lean back in and kiss Tori when they hear the front door open downstairs and a male voice yell their arrival. "Tori, we're home!"
Tori closes her eyes and groans, "Of course."
"I should be going." Jade says, a smirk playing at her lips. She stands up and walks halfway through the room when Tori's voice stops her.
"Wait. Why did you come here in the first place?" Tori asks, curiously.
"I told you. I was bored."
"Bored? Really?" Tori asks incredulously. "You were so bored that you just decided to come over to my house and kiss me?"
Jade rolls her eyes and laughs, "Yeah, Tori. I woke up this morning and thought, 'I should go to Vega's house and kiss her. That sounds like a fancy plan!'"
Tori shakes her head and smiles, she walks over to Jade and stands nervously in front of her. She slowly grabs for one of Jade's hands and holds it, smiling when she feels Jade's warm, wet lips on her forehead. Jade lingers and then pulls away, she smirks at Tori's content expression.
They look at each other and smile. This is just so weird – so weird.
Tori lets go of Jade's hand and clears her throat, she awkwardly takes a step away from Jade and motions to the door. "I guess I'll walk you to the front door."
They walk side-by-side, silently, downstairs and they awkwardly wave at Tori's parents. "Ok, well, I guess I'll see you." Tori says softly, her eyes on Jade's lips.
"My eyes are up here, Vega." Jade smirks and Tori blushes. "And yeah, see you." Jade says, closing the door behind her. Tori lingers at the closed door, her eyes closed and her hands gripping the door handle, smiling as she recalls at what had just happened.
Even though she's not completely sure what just happened, or if it'll happen again.
She can't afford to think like that. Instead, she goes back up to her room – ignoring her parent's and sister's curious stares – and lays on her bed, hugging her pillow tightly. Instead she'll sleep and dream of Jade and her lips.
(And she doesn't even care that her body can feel all the pain it ignored while Jade was on her. But she actually really does care because the pain is back and it. is. hurting. But thinking of Jade and her lips make the pain bearable.)
x
"Tori!" Tori jolts up in bed, alarmed at the loud voice in her ear. She quickly turns her head and smacks right into Trina. "Ow, Tori! What the hell!" Trina rubs at her face and pulls away, her face scrunched up in pain.
Tori rubs at her face as well, groaning and falling back into her pillows. "How about you don't have your face so close to mine and then yell in my ear!"
"Whatever." Trina turns and walks away but stops midway when she remembers why she was there in the first place. She throws the letter onto Tori's bed and huffs in annoyance, "That's for you."
The letter landed at the foot of Tori's bed and she slowly sits up, eying the letter with curiosity and suspicion. "Who's it from?" She asks before Trina leaves her room.
"I don't know, it was taped to your door." Trina walks out of the room, pulling the door shut behind her and still rubbing her face.
The envelope is blank. Tori feels around the envelope, feeling for something inside and she feels the folded part of the paper. She opens the envelope and pulls out the folded paper, scanning the imprints of writing. She recognizes the small, slanted neat writing and smiles.
Tori unfolds the piece of paper and reads what's written.
Vega. Hey.
I guess I should apologize – or something, I don't know – for breaking into your house yesterday... and I guess for breaking into your house last night. So, yeah.
I was thinking about what happened yesterday and I just wanted to be clear on something:
Kissing you has always been something I wanted to do. I don't regret it; it was nice.
We should talk about it. Right? Well, if you want to. I don't know. I don't really care.
Here's my number. Call or text me, if you want to, like, get together or something.
Fuck, I hate doing this shit. Whatever. Sorry if it's weird or something.
Jade
Tori's biting her lip as she finishes reading the letter. It's so un-Jade-like, she's not sure what to do. Should she call her? Or text her? Texting would probably be easier at this point in their forming friendship? Relationship? That's probably thinking too far ahead.
She decides to text Jade. Before she does, she checks the time, 8:57am. It's probably way too early, since it's Saturday and Jade would most likely be sleeping in. She doesn't care though – she pulls out her phone and sends a quick text to Jade.
Got your letter. Awkwardly sweet. Let's get together later today, yeah? See you. X -T
Tori hits the send button and falls back, clutching her phone to her chest. She didn't expect a text so soon and she starts when she feels it vibrate.
Shut up. I'll be at your place at 8. Have food ready. -J
All she can do is laugh at that text.
Haha, is pizza okay? -T
When isn't it? -J
Tori can't argue with that.
You got me there. ;-) -T
Was that wink too much? Tori thinks, no it's probably not.
Of course I did. And stop trying to flirt with me. ;-) -J
Wait, she's flirting back with me! Tori hits the reply button and before she's able to text back, Jade sends another text.
And don't text back. Get ready. I know you'll need the entire day. ;-) See you soon. -J
It's all just so weird. Where did the real Jade go and who is this Jade that took her place? Not that Tori's really complaining, this Jade is nice. Different, but still Jade. She can get used to this Jade.
She inhales a deep breath and holds it, for as long as she can, and then exhales, reveling in the slight dizziness that fills her head. She gets out of bed and heads to her bathroom to take a shower. A nice, cold shower to wake her up and to cool her down.
X
She's not sure how she managed to get her parents and Trina out of the house, but she did and she's glad that she got them out in time because a few minutes after they left Jade arrived.
"So you decided to leave the door open for me?" Jade says from the doorway, a smirk evident in her voice. "What, you didn't want me to break in again?"
In the kitchen, Tori rests her hands on the counter and drops her head, trying to stifle the laugh making its way up. She shakes her head quickly and turns around, smiling at a smirking Jade. "I should have closed it. I would have loved to see you break in."
Jade cocks an eyebrow and saunters in, pushing the door closed behind her. She stops behind one the couches and trails a finger along the edge while staring at Tori. "I bet you would have."
It was Tori's turn to cock an eyebrow. She slowly takes in her bottom lip between her teeth and lets it slip out as she walks towards Jade, two glasses of water in hand. She hands Jade a glass and takes a seat, motioning with her head at the empty seat next to her. Jade downs a big gulp of water and licks her lips of stray water, watching Tori watch her moves. She walks around the couch and sits next to Tori, leaving a couple of inches between them.
"So..." Tori says after a few minutes of silence.
"You would 'so.' God, Tori, don't you know how to start a conversation?" Jade asks, leaning back and crossing her legs.
"Yes! It's just – you're, like – I don't know, you're intimidating... or something." Tori rolls her eyes at herself and shrugs, "And I'm nervous, ok?"
Jade eyes Tori through the corner of her eye and the corner of her mouth quirks up, "Why are you nervous?"
Tori shrugs her shoulder and rubs her hands up and down her thighs, "I don't know, 'cause you're here, in my house, with me... and we're alone." She feels light finger touches tap against the back of her shoulder moving across to her other shoulder. She tenses and lets out a shaky breath. "Aren't you nervous?"
"Does it look like I'm nervous?" Jade whispers as she leans in, softly kissing Tori's shoulder.
"N-no, not-not really." Tori stutters, her eyes closed from the intimate gesture.
Jade scoots closer, closing the distance between them, and pecks up Tori's shoulder and to her neck, relishing the feel of Tori's hot skin on her lips. Jade opens her mouth and nips at the area where shoulder meets neck and licks at the reddening skin, smirking at the thought that she'll be leaving a mark.
The moment is interrupted when the doorbell rings and both girls groan angrily. "Who the hell is that?" Jade asks, annoyed.
Tori sighs, "It's probably the pizza." She quickly gets up and straightens out, fixing her hair and her clothes. She heads to the door and opens it, a smiling pizza delivery guy holds up her order.
"Tori Vega?" He asks, not so subtly checking her out – Jade totally notices it and stands up. Tori nods her head and holds out her hand with the money. "Awesome. One large pizza, extra cheese. That'll be $7.50."
He hands Tori her pizza and takes the $10 from her hand, but puts it back quickly. "How about – instead of paying, I get your number and we go out sometime?" Taken aback, Tori quickly tries to come up with an answer but falls short. Instead, Jade slides in next to her and slips her arm around Tori's waist, "Hey, buddy. How about you back the hell off and go away, yeah?"
Jade pushes him back and begins to close the door, but he stops it with his foot. "Aren't you going to pay, at lease?" He asks, angrily.
Huffing a small laugh, Jade shakes her head, "Oh, no we're not. And you better go before I call your work and report you for sexual harassment."
The guy shakes his head and removes his foot, mumbling under his breath about how Jade is a bitch.
"Uh, thanks." Tori says sheepishly. "He was just so forward. You'd think I'd be used to that."
"It's no problem, let's just eat. Yeah?" Jade says, slightly irritated. She takes the pizza box out of Tori's hand and walks over to the dining table, setting it down and going to the cupboards, looking for plates.
Tori walks over to the table and sits, taking the plate Jade hands to her and waits for Jade to sit. When she does, they both grab a couple slices of pizza and eat. In silence.
X
"Can I ask you something, Jade?" Tori asks after finishing her second slice of pizza.
Jade stares at her, chewing slowly, and nods her head.
Tori works her jaw and thinks about how to word her question without sounding desperate or insecure. And the way Jade is staring at her is not helping at all. Jade stops chewing and swallows, and it's quiet. They can hear the wind blow outside and the tree leaves smack against one another, they can hear dogs barking in the distant and the occasional car pass by. It's quiet, but not awkward. It's somewhat comfortable.
"In your letter," Tori starts, confidently, "You said that you have always wanted to kiss me. Why?" she ends insecurely.
Jade looks at her like she's crazy; like she just asked her a question a child would ask his parents, a question like why they have to go to school. Jade tilts her head to the side and thinks about what she's going to say. "You know how, at first, I said I was bored?" Tori nods her head, "And then in the letter I said it was because I have always wanted to do so?" Tori nods her head again as she bites her bottom lip. "Well, it's true and you already know that. But there's something else and – I don't know if I should say it."
Tori looks at her with curious, hopeful eyes and maybe she should just come out and say it. "It's okay, Jade. You can tell me, if you're ready."
Jade nods her head absentmindedly and inhales a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
"My whole life I've lived in the darkness. I have lived there for so long that I can't remember what it's like to live in the light – to feel the light. My parents divorced, my dog died, and I was kicked out of school all within months of each other and from that point on, everything went downhill and I couldn't figure a way out." Jade closes her eyes for a few seconds and opens them, her jaw clenching and hands shaking. Tori reaches out and grabs hold of one of her hands, squeezing it once, encouraging her to go on.
"Every time I tried to climb out, I'd slip and fall further into the darkness and it happily took me in. It swallowed me whole and kept me prisoner, and I let it. I lost myself and I stayed there and it became my home. The darkness became my home, it became me and I became it. And there was a point in time when I just didn't care anymore; where it didn't matter what happened to me and I accepted that. I loved the darkness and it loved me and it was home, and it is home. I think it will always be home, in a weird way." A small, sad smile makes it's way onto Jade's lips and Tori squeezes her hand again, letting her know that she's still there. She's still there, listening, absorbing, silently making a promise to always be there.
"But I had this little amount of hope in me and it always reminded me that the sun will rise and that made me miss the sun... I miss the sun, Tori. No matter how much darkness is in me, no matter how much of it is me, I miss the sun. I-I missed the sun." Jade trails off and looks Tori straight in the eye, holding her stare and smiling. "I feel it, you know. I feel the sun, every day. It warms me and it scares me, but it's thrilling, and I like it. It was so foreign at first. It had been so long since I had felt it, that when I did, it was the second scariest moment in my life. But it took my breath away. Which is weird, right? Because you see me, you know me, you know who I am, how I am, and you wouldn't think that it was possible for me to feel like that, right? But I did, Tori. I felt all those things, and it scared me, but I liked it. I liked that feeling. I like that feeling. The sun rose for me. It rose for me the day of the Big Showcase when it stepped out onto that stage and sang her heart out." Jade watches as Tori's eyes widen at what Jade had just said, had just admitted. And her heart flutters.
"Wh-what?" Tori manages to mutter, but Jade squeezes her hand this time and smiles, "Let me finish." Tori nods her head slowly and leans forward, waiting for Jade to continue.
"And that was the scariest moment, Tori. When I realized that you were my sun, I – all the oxygen was knocked out of me. And I know I said that I love the darkness and that it will always be apart of me, but Tori, I've felt the sun. And once you've felt the sun and have a slight hold on it, you don't want to lose it, you don't want to let go. I don't want to lose the sun. I don't want to lose you. I am the darkness and you are the sun. And once the sun is in and it's shining and lighting everything, filling the darkness, warming it... I don't know. It's just scary to imagine life without it again. You're my sun, Vega."
Tears are streaming down Tori's face and she gives Jade a watery smile, her grip on Jade's hand tightening as she tries to hold in the sob that's trying to make its way out. Jade's eyes begin to sting, unshed tears glistening in her eyes and she shakes her head at all of this. This is insane, this isn't her... but when she's with Tori, she can't help but be open and let her in.
"Jade..." Tori whispers shakily, her hand reaching out to cup Jade's cheek.
Jade smiles into the touch and kisses her palm, "No, don't say anything. Let's just go sit on the couch and let this all soak in, yeah?"
Tori nods her head and stands up, never letting go of Jade's hand. She leads them to the couch and they sit, thigh-to-thigh, shoulder-to-shoulder, Tori's head resting on Jade's shoulder.
And they sit there, silently, comfortably, happily. The warmth of their bodies weave through their veins, course through their blood, seep through their skin and is absorbed into each other, filling them with foreign warmth, and their bodies becoming its new home. Their hands intertwine, fingers fitting perfectly in the gaps of their hands, and they meld together.
"Your heartbeat is so soothing." Tori whispers into the silence, "I always imagined it to beat this rough, scary beat." Jade softly laughs and kisses the top of Tori's head.
"It used to." Jade replies softly. "Now it beats this soft, sappy beat. It's really rather unfortunate." Tori chuckles into Jade's shoulder and bites it causing Jade to slightly groan.
"Hey, only I'm allowed to bite." Jade mutters into Tori's hair, biting the top of her head.
"Oh my God, did you just bite the top of my head?" Tori asks incredulously.
"Yup, sure did." Jade says, a smile evident in her voice.
Tori hums and closes her eyes; everything just feels so surreal. Now this is the last thing she ever expected to get from Jade. And it all feels so great and she really hopes she doesn't wake in the morning only to find out it was all a dream.
"Jade?"
"Yeah?"
"Stay the night?"
"...okay."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Tori gets up and holds her hand out, waiting for Jade to grab it so they could head upstairs. Jade grabs it and they go upstairs, and they head to Tori's bedroom. Tori climbs into her bed first and she lies on her side, and Jade climbs in behind her, holding her, wishing her a goodnight. Jade kisses the back of Tori's head and they let sleep take them. The bright moon shining onto them through the crack in the curtains.
She didn't ask Jade to stay because she expected anything to happen; she didn't. She asked her to stay because it felt right, and when she wakes up in the morning, the first thing she wants to see is Jade's beautiful face. The first thing she wants to feel is Jade's arm wrapped around her waist, holding Tori tightly against her, and Jade's breath tickling her neck.
She wants Jade to wake up to her. She wants to tell her that the sun rose for her.
A/N: It's been a long time coming! And I'm quite excited that I actually finished something! :-D
I actually like what I wrote - well, I like Jade's little speech. I wrote it several months ago after listening to Kelly Clarkson's The Sun Will Rise (obviously the inspiration for it, hah.) You should listen to the song (the live version, so good).
I hope it's good and that whoever reads this likes it.
Reviews would be nice.
Thanks!