A/N I JUST NOTICED THE DOUBLE PASTED CHAPTER AND FIXED IT!
It was mid afternoon, pouring rain, when aphmau woke up in her bed, alone with just a bandanna in her arms. she immediately began to sliffle for a bit before tying it to her eyes and slowly sat up looking around her- their room making her tears from the day before return with a vengeance. after an hour she mustered the will power to go down stairs to quell the beast that was her stomach, how long ago did she last eat?
"aph you up?" shouted a low gravely voice that couldn't be anyone but Zane as he knocked and called out again.
"hey aph... we are all worried about you...me, kawaii-chan, Lucinda, Garroth, Travis, Laurence...we want you to know we are here for you."
she listened and stared at the door choking her sobs to not worry him further, the last thing she wanted was to worry them. Tentatively she called out steadying her voice as well as she could.
"z-ahem-zane come on in...I was about to eat something it if you want to join me..." she said hoping he couldn't hear her voice crack.
He opened the door tentatively and peered in slowly.
"sure aph, I can cook something for you if you want, its almost noon." he said after he closed the door seeimg her at the kitchen with that red bandanna over her face. 'she really doesnt want us to see how bad she's holding up if she does that.' he though as he quickly pulled her into a hug gaining a small shriek from Aphmau who hadn't expected such a blatant form of affection from the young Ro'meave.
"Z-Zane what-" she started before feeling how tight he was holding her. with a hollow chuckle her smile dropped and so did her whole façade. "Figured it out already...I'm sorry I keep worrying you guys I jus-just can't be around anyone right now." she said as tears began flowing from her eyes.
"we don't care how bad you're holding up aphmau...we care about making you feel better. K.C. made you a chocolate cake, Garroth and I went and renewed your Netflix for you, Katelyn is waiting and ready to punch who ever causes you any strife...we just want to help aph...we want you to let us help." he said feeling his shoulder growing wetter as the frail girl in his arms shook with tears and grief.
"W-Wow zane...I think that's the most you've ever talked about feelings at one time." she joked and gave off a soft giggle...she decided that she would get better. ..for her friends...and Aaron.
"Now how about olive garden for lunch? I haven't eaten in days so I need my fill of breadsticks" she said trying another joke but only got a look of concern from Zane.
"What do you mean you haven't eaten? aph when did you last eat?" he asked quickly as he looked her over seeing that she had indeed become much much slimmer, he almost couldn't tell through Aarons coat she had taken to wearing.
"W-well define eat?" she tried and got a half hearted glare back.
"okay okay, other than some breakfast bars I had upstairs...5 days? maybe 6 or 7, I don't know I'm hungry and dizzy" she said holding onto Zane's arm.
"Aphmau Jessica Bravura! We are taking you directly to olive garden and you are eating a meal, no breadsticks until half of your plate is gone!" Zane said as he went into super over protective mode and began pulling her upstairs and stood outside her room.
"Get changed and we will be on our way." he said leaving no room for argument as he closed her door and waited.
"ugh, I knew I shouldn't have told him...why did I get myself into this, I don't want to go out today." she lamented but went and found a light blue blouse and white skirt knowing if she hadn't gotten changed Zane would likely take her in the cloths she had on...which she hadn't changed for over three weeks. as she got her socks and shoes on she opened the door and woke up with a gasp.
"Gah...it was a dream?" she said and felt tears dripping down her face at how lonely she was until now. she glanced at Aaron who was asleep on the floor, arm stretched to meet hers. she needed some air lest she risk waking Aaron with her crying so she slowly detached her hand from his, and quickly but quietly walked out to the deck of the boat. "I can't believe we are at starlight. ...after everything I did to him he still brought me here..." she said quietly as she began crying again, she has been crying a lot lately she realized.
"A - Aphmau-senpai? why are you up?" Nana said softly as she came out into the cold night with her coat wrapped tightly around her. "you'll get sick if you're out here without something to cover yourself!" she said as she quickly enveloped aphmau in a hug inside the jacket. Thank goodness Zane brought his large one for her to hide with before she got her ticket, its working now.
"k-kawaii-chan I'm just our h-here for some air, why are you out here?" Aphmau asked as she hugged Nana so she wouldn't see her tears and worry her.
"kawaii-chan heard Aphmau-senpai crying..." she said and tightened her hug around aphmau.
crap there goes hiding it.
"I'm fine K.C Hheh...I can't fool anyone anynore..I'm a mess."she said and bit back more sobbing.
"kawaii-chan wants to help you. Come to kawaii-chan's room had chocolate cupcakes~" she said which had aphmau reluctantly follow her to the extra room the boat had for storage before her "arrival" to starlight wonderland had been announced. the room itself was rather small, a bed and waste basket between it and a small desk in the 8x8 room.
"sorry you have to stay in such a small room kawaii-chan...I'll ask Mr.Lycan to request a boat with more rooms." Aphmau said hoping to divert the conversation.
"Aphmau-senpai! I brought you here to talk about you...what's wrong? kawaii-chan wants to help you.." she said biting back tears of her own. sometimes she hated being able to sense how others were feeling strongly.
"i-sniff- I already know what's wrong with me, I caused all of this pain and he is rewarding me...but I can't tell you what happened K.C...please don't make me..." she asked in a frail broken voice.
Nana just hugged Aphmau close to her chest and rrubed circles on her back. "Aphmau-senpai doesn't have to tell kawaii-chan anything about it...I know! how about we talk about Aphmau-senpai! kawaii-chan wants to know all of the juicy details she leaves out!" she said trying to adjust the atmosphere.
"heh well what do y-wait wait wait we ALWAYS talk about me or Katelyn...we hardly know anything about you kawaii-chan. I dont even know if you have any brothers or sisters!" Aphmau countered with that sudden realization. What kind of friend am I? I dont even know all that much about kawaii-chan.
"oh, uhh, ummm kawaii-chan had 11 brothers and sisters so she was never bored..." Nana said trying to skirt around her less than happy memories. "she really loved baking back then, almost as much as she does now!"
Aphmau coughed at the thought of so many siblings, she'd have gone mad! "k-kawaii-chan that's a lot of children, how did you all get along?" she asked astounded as her pink furred mei'fwa friend handed her a small plate with cupcakes on it.
"w-well I was amazing at baking so they all were nice or I wouldn't make any sweets! But thats all kawaii-chan was good at she she didnt stand out nya! No one paid attention to her so she never got in trouble." she said gaining a far away look as she began to get lost in memories.
"Bah that has to be a lie, you stand out everywhere kawaii-chan. you can't not stand out with that personality!...and thefe delifiof cufcafes!" she said and ate a cupcake in almost one bite.
"well I was really normal untill I became the kawaii-chan you know today!" she said before abruptly stopping herself, she made the same mistake from when she was talking to Zane, she got too comfortable and let too much slip
"Became? who were you before you became kawaii-chan then?" she asked looking into kawaii-chan's eyes seeing them soften at the thought of her past.
"T-that doesnt matter now, kawaii-chan is wayyy better now that she is who she is!" she said with her usual peppy attitude, only now Aphmau could tell it was slightly forced.
"you do know what this means kawaii-chan?"
kawaii-chan looked into Aphmau's eyes and was instantly afraid.
"Now I have to find out who you really are!" Aphmau said with a tone of finality that had Nana cry inwardly thinking 'why do I have to open my big kawaii mouth nya?'
They both then yawned feircly.
"tomorrow...I need to go back to Aaron before I pass out and he wakes up without me." she said carelessly and almost reached the door before hearing a slowly escalating squeel behind her. Thinking quickly she shoved a cupcake into kawaii-chan's mouth and whispered "no ship squealing tonight, people are asleep!"
getting a slow nod from her Aphmau released the sweet and hugged kawaii-chan. "Thanks for taking my mind off of things...you're a great friend K.C" and with that she retuned to find Aaron tossing and turning in his sleep, however as she laid down and her hand met his he stilled with a content sigh.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
The next morming came far too soon for young Aphmau as she awoke groggy with a splitting headache and a slightly upset stomach. "UUGgghh no more midnight cupcakes for me...thats a lie." she said joking to herself noticing that Aaron had already gotten up and was probably on the deck. she stood getting all of her groaning out before she left the room so no one worried, you know "fake it till you make it" she breathed a few times before opening the door and got a wiff of something delicious. "pancakes" she muttered as her legs carried her toward the scent as if of their own will.
"kawaii-chan I told you already, you have to use these chocolate chips, I know you prefer real chocolate but the warewolves here can't eat it!" she head Zane's voice and a plastic crinkling.
"B-but Zane-kuuunnn, I was making these for Aphmau-senpai, she had a rough night so I thought I could help with chocolate chip pancakes specially for her!" Nana said, though Aphmau silently noted she wasn't talking in third person like usual...come to think of it she started using first person slightly last night too.
"Rough night? Is she okay -kawaii-chan?" Zane asked with a slight pause
"I think so...but Aphmau-senpai deserves this sooooo" she said snatching the bag again. "kawaii-chan will make Aphmau-senpai the best chocolate chip pancakes when she wakes up!" she declared loudly.
"That sweet K.C but you dont need to make me a special batch." Aphmau said to herself as she watched, but Nana's ear twitched toward Aphmau making her quickly round the corner to hide.
"huh? kawaii-chan swears she just heard something.."
"What do you think it was kawaii-chan?"
"kawaii-chan thought it was Aphmau telling her she didnt need to make special pancakes because of her..." she said and started walking to the hall.
"You probably imagined it kawaii that is something she would say. Now dont let the pancakes burn!" Zane said as he scrambled to save the cooking batter that Nana had been distracted from.
"GAH SORRY ZANE-KUN." She shouted as she flipped it perfectly showing the edges were a little singed, but otherwise fine. "phew"
"...Hey kawaii-chan, you never got around to telling me more about...your childhood." Zane said making Aphmau freeze.
'I can stay and listen and know what I want to know!...but they are my friends and eves dropping is wrong!' Aphmau mentally yelled at herself
"B-but Zane-kunnnn..." she said with a sigh. "What do you want to know? You told me about yours so its only fair." she said, her voice going down a few octaves and seeming less cheery.
'Was that still kawaii-chan?' Aphmau thought to herself before catching something. 'Zane knows more about kawaii-chan then I do? And wait, he's been telling her about his childhood too?... I...i never even asked about them.' Aphmau said to herself realizing how little she knew about all of her friends. 'That makes this so much worse, I need to stop.'
"Hmm, how about your real na- APHMAU!" Zane said before seeing Aphmau walk out rubbing her eyes.
"my real Aphmau? I only have one Aphmau Zane." Nana said confused before growing stiff. 'He sees Aphmau...how much did she hear?'
"Morning Aphmau-senpai! Would you like some chocolate chip pancakes?" she said with her exuberance that Aphmau could tell was partially forced.
"But there's a stack already right there?" Aphmau asked pointing at a stack of substitute chocolate chip pancakes.
"T-those are for the warewolves Aphmau-senpai. kawaii-chan has some real chocolate here to make the best pancakes ever!" she said as she started pulling out bowls.
"Thats really sweet K.C but I'll be fine with these, after all I stole like five chocolate cupcakes last night from you." she said sitting next to Zane with a smile
"morning to you too Mr.yells-my-name" she said with a giggle as Zane grew flustered.
"morni-i mean I didnt expect you so early- I heard you were up really late so I was startled!" he tried but flubbed each new sentence as a new one formed. This was quickly stopped when Aphmau rustled his hair laughing
"Relax I'm just messing with ya." she said as she heard a sizzle from the stove. "kawaii-chan I told you you didnt need to make me fresh ones!" she said as Nana looked guiltily over her shoulder.
"Aphmau-senpai didnt tell kawaii-chan not too~ hehehe" she said and laughed as Aphmau midly noticed her transition back to third person.
"ugh fine you win, I'm too hungry to argue!" Aphmau said catching a glance from Zane. "No I haven't been forgetting to eat again Zane." she said making him jump.
"Hey I didnt say anything!" he said getting a confused look from kawaii-chan as he quickly stoped himself from letting more out.
"I saw that look Zane, I told you I have it under control." Aphmau said as she lightly punched Zane's arm. "Besides if I want olive garden I'm kinda screwed here." she joked.
"kawaii could you bring the pancakes to the others? I need a moment with Aphmau alone." Zane asked as she finished plating and perfecting Aphmau's stack.
"s-sure Zane-kun. kawaii-chan will be right back!" she said as she took the plates and the one with a large stack of pancake out to the deck where the others were waiting.
"She said you were having issues last night...another nightmare?" He asked softly
"No, it was much better but still not too good...it was that day, when you found out about how little I'd been eating..." she said quieter to the end. 'and how its all my fault any of this happened.' she thought silently to herself.
"oh...about that Aph, what have I told you about eating too much chocolate before bed! you always hate a terrible headache and stomach ache the next morning!" he said as he went over to the fridge and poured some orange juice for her.
"...to not do it...I couldnt help it okay Zane, I was in my head and kawaii-chan offered them, you know how good they are!" she defended taking the glass.
Zane sighed and glanced back over his shoulder. "And you're sure you've got your eating disorder under control? you still haven't gotten back the mass you lost when we were on mystreet." Zane said as he looked Aphmau over. she was close, but you could still tell she wasn't built like she used to be if you looked for it.
"its been seven months Zane, I think I can handle satin on my own again." she said quietly as she looked down into her glass of OJ.
"Let me know if you want any more Mr.lycan!" kawaii-chan said as she walked in and sensed the mood.
"Is Aphmau-senpai okay? she hasn't touched her pancakes." she asked worriedly
Hearing this Aphmau good a large bite and smiled after she swallowed it. "I'm fine K.C, these are delicious though!" she said and tried eating more, against her body's will.
"good, let kawaii-chan know if you want anymore!" she said and skipped past to her room calling out. "And dont forget Zane-kun you promised to take Kawaii-chan out to the parks today!" Earning a look from Aphmau at Zane that made him cringe in fear.
"No Aphmau, we dont need two shippers on this ship!" he said as he too ran for his room leaving Aphmau to chuckle to herself.