Ellie thought she was going to suffocate. Literally.
Just a few more hours... I can make it... I can make it...
The day just seemed to creep by so slowly, and her nerves were worked to the extent, She was exhausted, hungry, and almost suicidal. Wednesday had been just fine, as was Thursday.., but Friday? Oh no, the student body couldn't get enough of her on Friday, of all days.
C'mon, clock... c'mon 3:30.... I can make it...
It wasn't enough that her mother was a drunk and her father was so consumed in the military that he didn't have enough time to mail her letters. She knew she was being a bit selfish, but after all, considering what she had been through in the past year, Ellie thought she had the right to be just a little bit selfish sometimes.
A pen dropped. The clock ticked. The day dragged on. Ellie got worse.
A typical day, huh? I wish I had one typical day... that would be nice.
Her hands shook, and her palms were getting sweaty. Her breathing patterns had quickened, too. The morning had been a nightmare, and this afternoon was going to be even worse. Ellie wasn't sure she could stomach that... didn't think she was strong enough to make it any longer.
I can make it... I can make it... No, I can't make it... I can't make it...
"Excuse me?" Ellie raised her hand, allowing the breeze from the buzzing air conditioner to carress it before lowering it stifly to her side. "C-Can I please go to the girls' room?" she asked. She could feel the hair on the back of her neck stand up. They were staring at her, all of them.
"Yes, Miss...eh..." the teacher stammered slightly, not even looking up from his desk to see the broken little "weird girl" standing there with tears rolling down her cheeks and sweat dripping from her palms.
"It's Ellie." she muttered before bolting out the door.
...Was that laughter she heard from the classroom?
C'mon girl... just be strong... just be strong...
That voice played over and over in her mind like a broken record. She was sick of it.
Dumping out the contents of her bookbag, Ellie searched for the device she so truly needed. "Where is it.. where is -- Oh..." she pulled out the razor and held it up, so that the light reflected on it glared into her eyes. "Ah..." she let out a sigh of relief as she knelt over the sink, pulling down her black arm-warmers that had so carefully hid the previous scars.
I made it.. I made it...
Dragging the blade across her pallid flesh, Ellie smiled. This time she wouldn't stop. This time would be her last.
She made it.