Okay, so it begins. My commentary on the worst piece of shit ever written. Enjoy. My comments are in bold.
Chapter 1.
AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) Wow, you're so clever. 2 my gf (ew not in that way) You wrote it, and what's wrong with lesbians? raven, bloodytearz666. 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. Raven, you're fired U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!
Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way Nope. No Marie Sues over here. and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) Really!? You were born with long black hair? I was bald as a baby. with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears How poetic of you. and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I wish I could. I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. INCEST! I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I'm a human but my teeth are curly and rainbow. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England Scotland where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). No shit Sherlock I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) Oh believe me, I'm well aware and I wear mostly black. Again, no shit. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. Are there even Hot Topics in Scotland? For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I don't give a fuck. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining At the same time? Fucking magic bro so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. For those who don't speak Ebony, Preps = The general public I put up my middle finger at them. You're just a ball of sunshine aren't you
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy! NO! Draco! Run for it! Run away while you still can!
"What's up Draco?" I asked. Oh now you've done it Draco. Stupid boy.
"Nothing." he said shyly. Draco Malfoy? Shy?! Is the world ending!?
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. What a stimulating conversation that was.
AN: IS it good? No. PLZ tell me fangz! You're welcome… I think.