iGive Up

Sam's POV

Everyone knows that I'm a bully, strong and have no feelings. Well, I agree, I am all of those things but the sad thing is that no one else knows the real reason why i am the way I am. I'm a bully because it's the only way to be noticed. Being Carly's 'sidekick' causes me to be outshone by her beauty and good nature which is everything a boy looks for in a girl. The only way for me to stand out next to her is to pick on people so they know I'm here, living and breathing.

I'm strong because I have to be. Being brought up in a bad neighbourhood with only your mom who doesn't give a damn about you, isn't the easiest thing in the world. Therefore I needed to be strong for myself because i have had no one else to be strong for me.

Now, the last one is only half true. I do have feelings but I just choose not to show them. Trust me, it's easier for everyone that way. I mean, it's not like I have NEVER shown my feelings to anyone. I did once, to Freddie. Told him I loved him when I knew I shouldn't have because it would all end in heart break, and it did.

"Hey Carly, Spencer... uh your here" Freddie says whilst making his way into the apartment. I know, most of you are probably wondering why he's been treating me like this and the truth is, I don't know. Maybe as payback for when i treated him badly? He stares at me waiting for a response, "Hi" I said flatly keeping my eyes on the TV. He gives me a confused look before continuing on to the kitchen where Carly is. To where Carly is. They always go to Carly. I guess I should have gotten used to it by now but each time it never fails to break my heart just a little bit. He was just another Jonah. Ok, maybe that is a little harsh, at least he didn't try to kiss Carly while we were going out... even though he might have wanted to.

Then I heard something that caused the hairs to stand up on the back of my neck and my head jerk to look at them. "Are you sure it's to late for you to love me!?" he begged Carly, giving her the puppy dog eyes. My heart actually stopped, my stomach flipped and my eyes started to sting. Always Carly. "Freddie..." Carly warned him whilst giving me an apologetic look, I just shook my head, stood up and ran out the door whilst wiping away the tears that had managed to escape.

I ran all the way home, not caring that I was getting drenched by the rain. I barged into my house to see my mother unconscious on the sofa with a bottle in her hand, no surprises there. I ran past her up the stairs into my room and fell on my bed, breathing heavily. Tears were now streaming down my uncontrollably. Was I being dramatic about this? I mean, I knew this was going to happen. It's my own fault, I let someone into my heart even though I vowed I never would because i knew it would turn out this way.

I looked next to me, at my bedside table where a photo of me and Melanie stood. The one person I could always count on. Even though she can be a pain with her prissy little ways, she would always have my back like I would have hers.

I slowly picked up my phone and hesitated before dialling a very familiar number. "hello?" "hey Mel, it's me. I need your help..."

It's Monday now and I'm packing. Yes, packing. Not to go on vacation but to move. Permanently. I'm moving to New York to live with Melanie in her boarding school, she talked to her principle and he said it's ok for me to go to there. And before you jump to conclusions, I'm not doing this just because of Freddie. I admit, he is part of the reason but I'm mainly doing this because I'm not needed here. My mum doesn't care about me and let's face it, iCarly will survive without me. I leave tomorrow and I haven't told Carly yet but I'm not that cruel that I would just disappear without telling her so therefore I am writing her a letter. I know that if I told her face to face she wouldn't let me go so a letter is the only other way.

Dear Carly,

First of all I would like to thank you. Thank you for being such a good friend to me, for letting me stay at your house almost every night even though I might drive you insane. For putting up with me stealing meat from your fridge even though you don't want me too. I might not show it all the time but I am truly grateful all that you do for me.

Now, you are probably wondering what this letter is all about. The truth is, I'm moving. I'm going to live with Melanie at her boarding school in New York. Lets face it, I have nothing here for me. You don't need, me no matter how much you think you do. You have Freddie and Freddie has you. And Carly, give him a chance. He loves you, always has and always will and your so lucky to have a boy in your life that cares so much.

Lastly. Carly, you have to promise me you'll continue doing iCarly. It's not fair on you or the fans if you end it. Gibby can take my place or even Baggles if you get desperate. Boy does everyone love that bag of yogurt!

So, I don't want to drag this letter out to much longer. You know how much I hate writing. I hope you and Freddie have a good life, you both deserve it. I will miss you forever.

Sam. The one with the ham :)

Carly's POV

I was fuming. This is all his fault. I marched across the hall and pounded on the door opposite.

Not long later the door flung open "For the last time! I dont want any cooki- oh hey Carls"

Him.

"Hey? Thats all you can say!? Do you not have any idea how mad i am at you right now!?"

"Wow Carly, calm down, whats up?"

"CALM DOWN!? NEVER TELL A GIRL TO CALM DOWN!"

"WOW" he mouthed.

"And whats up!? I'll tell you whats up, YOU asked me to love you!"

"Yeh, so?"... clueless.

"So!? SO!? Do you not have any idea what you've done!"

"... what?"

OMG "... just read this" i say, slightly calmer as i passed him the crumpled piece of paper.

You could see it in his face. The shock. The sadness. And the fright increasing as he read more and more.

His face paled quickly and he looked up to face me with tears in his eyes. "...no" he whispered.

... to be continued.

Authors note: hey guys, i hope you liked the first part of iGive Up! I will be writing the next chapter very soon and i hope you will review in the meantime and let me know what you think and whether you want the second (last) chapter or not. Anyway, thank you for reading! :)