Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, Rumiko Takahashi does. I do not own the lyrics to 'like you' by Evanescence.
AN: I wasn't planning on doing another Rin/Sesshomaru story so soon, but this song really inspired me to write this one-shot.
Left Behind
Stay Low
Soft, dark, and dreamless
Far beneath my nightmares
And loneliness
I hate me
The adolescent girl lay patiently in a bed of reeds while listening to the brook babble by. Her nervous fingers absently twirled a long reed, delicately lacing the plant between them. Her eyes moved listlessly over the puffy white clouds above her.
"Insolent beast!" Jaken berated Ah-Un, vainly trying to move the animal. A faint smile spread to Rin's maturing features as she listened to Jaken's antics. She let out a sharp breath as the reed she'd been twirling about her fingers left a deep cut in her palm. Rin gave the cut a forlorn look and sighed.
"Jaken?" She asked in her usual tender voice.
"What is it child?" He asked crudely. She herd the reeds rustle as he approached her sprawled body.
"Do you think Sesshomaru sama will be back soon?" Hope and depression swirled together in a disjointed symphony from her rose petal lips. The imp let out a sigh and plopped down haphazardly beside her.
"I do hope it will be soon." Jaken commented as he softly observed the girl's uncharacteristic lethargy. "I'm sure Sesshomaru sama along with that half breed and those ningens have defeated Naraku by now." Rin gave an unsettled groan as she propped herself up into a sitting position.
"Three months." She said to no one in particular as a humid breeze blew chocolate tresses gracefully over her face. "We've never been without him for so long before." She whispered and shivered with nervous anticipation. She turned her head and stared blankly at the ground as an odd foreboding clenched at her chest. Closing her eyes she willed her frivolous fears away.
"Who goes there?" Jaken called suddenly into the distance as the toad demon quickly jumped to his feat. His pudgy fingers formed a sweaty grip on his staff as he pointed it towards the dark line of trees that made up the far edge of their clearing.
"Their here!" A familiar female voice flowed into welcoming ears.
"Sango?" Rin asked jumping to her own feet, her violet kimono blew excitedly in the breeze. Unconsciously Rin's feet began to move towards the voice. Rin gasped as she watched the demon slayer along with the monk walk out from behind the trees.
"Hold up child!" Jaken ordered uselessly behind her. Rin reached Sango and bent down with her hands on her knees to catch her breath. Suddenly fear gripped her as she realized several minutes had gone by and there were still three members missing from the original party that left three months ago.
"Sango?" Rin asked looking up into the woman's brown eyes. Sango took a step back and diverted her gaze away. "Miroku?" Rin pleaded turning her tormented eyes to the monk. His eyes betrayed a deep sadness as she inspected him. Rin's eyes darted down as the monk put his hand on hers. She gasped realizing he no longer had need of his rosary.
"Naraku is dead." Rin commented and stared desperately into the Monk's sad eyes. "Where are they?" Her voice trembled as she felt the demon slayer gently rest a hand on her shoulder.
"Kagome used the jewel to wish for everyone's happiness." The monk said as his head slumped forwards and a tear rolled down his cheek. "She and Inuyasha disappeared. We suspect it took the two of them to her time, sealing the well for good."
"Sesshomaru sama?" Rin asked as she forcibly shook the monk by his shoulders.
"He died before Kagome purified the jewel with her wish." Miroku said softly as his eyes met the young woman's. He watched as a light went out from behind her refined russet depths.
For breathing without you
I don't want to feel
Anymore for you
"He died protecting Inuyasha." Sango said softly. "His last moments were acts of selflessness." However, Rin could no longer hear anything or feel anything. All that seemed real were the hot tears flowing mercilessly down her cheeks. Rin closed her eyes tightly and let an image of Sesshomaru's face wash over her. A million fears hit her at once as she snapped her eyes back open.
"What will happen to us now?" She asked trying to regain her composure and look strong in front of her friends.
"We thought that you would like to come live in our village." Sango whispered soothingly.
"What about Jaken?" She asked looking around for the toad. She found him standing next to her. His eyes were glazed over with a broken look she had never seen on him before. Slowly he turned his head to her.
"I can go back to my clan." He said as his eyes drifted down to the earth and his body slumped forward in a defeated position. "Go with them Rin. It is best for you." He whispered as he glanced at her. In his eyes she could see his need to do what was best for her. She nodded and looked up at Miroku.
"I will go with you." Rin whispered brokenly.
They departed without Jaken. The imp took Ah-Un with him, back to his homeland where Sesshomaru sama had found him so long ago. Rin measured each step she took towards her new home in tears. She walked on sullenly; plagued by all the things she would never get to say to him… all the things she would never get to do with him. She shook her head in an attempt to free herself of the impure desires that flashed before her eyes.
"Rin how are you feeling?" Sango asked softly. "It's been hours since you said anything." She whispered with concern.
"I'm fine." Rin whispered fiercely.
"You look like someone who lost a lover." Sango said, then blushed realizing how brash her comment was. Rin's head hung a little lower and a pang of guilt ran through Sango.
"Only in my dreams... those fleeting fantasies." The young woman whispered.
"When we get there you can see his grave. The final battle wasn't far from the village. Miroku and I buried him near the village in a peaceful spot." Sango said picturing the serene place they decided to give Sesshomaru sama his final rights at.
"I'd like that." Rin said hollowly as she lifted her head to star at the setting sun and wondered where his soul rested tonight.
Grieving for you
I'm not grieving for you
Nothing real love can't undo
And though I may have lost my way
All paths lead straight to you
I long to be like you
Lie cold in the ground like you
Rin followed Sango quietly. It had been several days since they brought Rin to the village. Rin had decided that today she would visit Sesshomaru sama's grave. Somehow it didn't feel real as her feat walked over the earth. It didn't seem real that Sesshomaru sama now lie beneath her feat. The thought somehow disturbed Rin greatly. She let go of a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and took note of her surroundings. Sango was leading her well outside the village. They were approaching a tarn whose water rippled in a sorrowful grey-blue dance. Rin noted how the water refused to reflect the mood of the sunny day filled with gregarious birds. A wind blew and Rin noted how it seemed to try and caress her tired body.
"Here it is." Sango said softly while waving her hand in the direction of the tarn. "It's there on the west side, beside the Cherry Tree." Rin nodded and made her way one painstaking step at a time. She was grateful Sango stayed behind to give her privacy with Sesshomaru sama. As she approached the grave a wind rustled Sesshomaru sama's guardian tree and blew sakura blossoms around her. She absently caught one as they flew by her to become decorations on the lake's dejected surface. As the grave came into view she found it was marked with a fresh white headstone set against the base of the tree. Unable to control herself she fell to her knees beside the freshly compacted earth.
"Sesshomaru sama" Rin whispered as her hand reached out and touched the earth that stood between her and his decaying body… the same body that had been a work of art in life. Fresh tears began to mar her pristine beauty as her hands grasped at handfuls of the earth that held his remains.
"Why did you go so far away?" Rin whispered as her body felt the urge to lie down beside his grave. Her hand began to trace patterns across the earth as she stared into the distance lifelessly; realizing she was waiting for an answer that would never come.
"If I told you I loved you, what would be your answer?" Rin's question burned for a response as her bitter tears soaked into the ground above his body. Rin turned her head and brought her virgin lips to the earth in a chaste kiss that left the void within her wider.
"I want to follow you." Rin whispered. The revelation hit Rin forcibly and she pushed the wrongful thought of following him back inside her. Suddenly a warm breeze caressed her body and she smiled as sakura flowers fell down around her body creating a mosaic with earth and grass. With nothing more to say Rin got to her feet and placed one of the flowers in her hair. Turning she walked back to Sango, but a new restless thought had finally taken siege of her sensibilities.
Halo
Blinding wall between us
Melt away and leave us alone again
Humming, haunted somewhere out there
I believe our love can see us through death
"Miroku." The young woman's voice broke the silence. He put his chopsticks down and looked over at the Rin concerned. She hadn't eaten anything at dinner that night. Sango was sitting beside her while letting a gaze heavy with worry rest on Rin. Ever since Sango took her to visit the grave the last bit of light left in Rin's eyes had died.
"What is on you mind?" He asked giving her a soft smile. His breath caught in his throat as her tormented eyes met his.
"What happens when we die?" The question seemed to die in the air as the monk studied her composure.
"We are judged. Based on our character in life we can either go on to heaven or fall into hell." Miroku said uneasily as he watched unknown emotions battle in Rin's eyes.
"What happens to demons?" She whispered so softly he almost didn't hear it. Miroku closed his eyes and sighed. In truth he had been waiting for her to ask this question. He shook his head uneasily and looked into her sad eyes.
"I don't know." He answered truthfully.
"People say they don't get a chance. They go to hell simply for being born a demon." Rin said as a tear rolled down her face.
"I don't like to believe that. I'd like to believe heaven accepts demons of good character." Miroku whispered trying to cheer her up.
"What about Sesshomaru sama?" She whispered brokenly.
"Once again I don't know." Miroku shook his head sadly, not willing to lie in order to cheer her up. "True his last years were in good character, but from what I know the majority of his life was of a darker nature." A small smile danced across Rin's lips.
"I believe." She said strongly.
"You believe what?" Sango chimed in.
"That we'll be together in heaven someday. He'd never go anywhere I couldn't follow." She stated as if it had been obvious all along.
I long to be like you
Lie cold in the ground like you
There's room inside for two
And I'm not grieving for you
I'm coming for you
The months gave way to winter. This year was a particularly brutal one. The snows came earlier and unexpected. The early winter had many consequences. Among them were low supplies, little to eat and illnesses. Rin in her deteriorated state was exceptionally prone to the latter. No one was surprised when she came down with an exceptionally vicious illness during the bitterest part of winter.
Rin was lost in a coughing fit as her body shivered uncontrollably. Sango sat beside her futon and tried to sooth Rin's coughing and fever away. Rin watched the pity in Sango's eyes as the woman cared for her.
"When is the wedding?" Rin asked trying to divert the mood of the room from her condition. A small smile spread across Sango's face.
"In the spring once the flowers bloom." The happiness in Sango's voice brightened the room. However, Rin was reminded of all the things she would never have in this life.
"It seems that Kagome's wish was granted." Rin said as the pain in her chest once again erupted into violent coughing. "I just wish I was included."
"Don't say that Rin." Sango said with a hurt glaze in her eyes. "Of course you are included. You will meet a man…"
"Being with Sesshomaru sama is the only thing that could give me happiness and he is dead." Rin said flatly. Sango bit her lip and left the room to get more herbs.
You're not alone
No matter what they told you
You're not alone
I'll be right beside you forevermore
Rin turned her head as Miroku entered her room. Sango had done everything she could for Rin, but the young woman was now on her death bed. The illness would take her short life soon.
"How did he die?" Rin asked before Miroku could make himself comfortable. "No one ever told me the details."
"We didn't think you'd like to hear them." Miroku commented.
"I'm ready now." Rin said as her dieing eyes pleaded with Miroku. Sighing the monk realized this was her last request of him. A sat back and cleared his throat before beginning.
"Inuyasha had dropped his sword. Naraku took the opportunity to use a new power. It was a horrible energy blast that would have easily killed Inuyasha if Sesshomaru hadn't… if he hadn't stepped between Inuyasha and the blast. That gave Inuyasha enough time to grab his sword and deliver the backlash wave to Naraku. It was only after Naraku died that Inuyasha realized what Sesshomaru did. Before Kagome made her wish Inuyasha actually held his brother's broken body in his arms. He actually shed tears for his brother. I remember wondering in that moment if Sesshomaru sama had finally been redeemed for all the hurt he caused. Then Kagome made the wish and Inuyasha was gone, leaving Sango, Shippo and I alone." Miroku said sadly as the memory tore at his insides.
"It's enough." Rin said as her gaze moved to the window where she could watch the snow fall down in an endless blanket. "When I go, please burry me next to him." Rin asked softly as Miroku left the room. Once he was gone she lifted her hand toward the window. "You didn't forget me, did you Sesshomaru sama?"
I long to be like you
Lie cold in the ground like you
There's room inside for two
And I'm not grieving for you
And as we lay in silent bliss
I know you remember me
"Miroku!" Sango's grief stricken voice called out. Her hand ran over Rin's face, closing the woman's eyes forever. It had happened sometime during the night. Blood splattered the pillow she had been coughing into, testament to the misery of her last moments.
"We both knew it was only a matter of time." Miroku commented as he entered the room.
"I wasn't expecting her to be fall to an illness so easily." Sango commented as she lifted the sheet over Rin's head. Miroku shook his head.
"Heart break killed her long before that illness did. It was as if her body had no will to go on." Miroku commented sadly.
The next day they took her body out and properly buried her next to Sesshomaru sama.
I long to be like you
Lie cold in the ground like you
There's room inside for two
And I'm not grieving for you
I'm coming for you
Rin looked around in amazement. She had no idea where she was or how she got there. Standing she found she was in a field of brightly colored flowers and that the sky was a deep azure. She looked down to find she wore a lovely white kimono with a delicate powder pink obi.
"Rin?" A voice called out and Rin's world came to a halt. Memories of her life flooded her soul as she slowly turned around to see a vision beyond words. Standing a few yards from away was her beloved Sesshomaru sama. No longer in his armor he looked soft and vulnerable against the perfect sky clad in only his hakama and kimono. Tears of happiness buried Rin's vision as she leaped towards him. She was surprised to find he met her half way. She gasped as she felt two arms surround her for the first time.
"I didn't want to see you so soon." He whispered huskily into her hair.
"A world without you could never hold me." Rin said as she stepped back to look into his golden depths. "I love you." She whispered as her eyes pleaded with his. A bright smile graced his lips.
"As do I." He whispered as he pulled her into a kiss.
"Don't ever leave me again." Rin whispered once the kiss was over.
"Never." He whispered pulling her into a passionate embrace. "I'll never leave you behind again."
Finished!
Wow I just started that two hours ago and I'm already done! Well let me know what you all thought of that one! I just love reviews:)